Porno Tendencies.

In advance, Mom, I'm sorry that I'm not sorry.

We all dabble in pornographic viewing, some consider themselves connoisseurs (myself included) and some are closet lovers of this magnificent art form.  Firstly porno has decencitized me.  I remember the good old days when I used to be able to simply close my eyes, rub myself over my underpants and a surprise occured in my pants.

I once had a binder full of nudies. Anna Nicole Smith and Pamela Anderson were my favorites.  (Next time your Jerkin' it, call it meeting up with Palmela Handerson.  It's funny)  As I grew older I graduated to hand cream and different forms of media including downloads off limewire and VHS recording of Bleu Nuit.  The Acadia Advantage was a new frontier in my masturbatory career.

Having a laptop ups ur porn game into the stratosphere.  It was such a new and exciting time for me.  I spent so much "special time" in my dorm room my first year of University.  I didn't need real women, I had Jill.  Look @ your right hand, although I personally am a lefty, spread ur digits wide like Jenna Haze does her butt cheeks and tell me what name your hand spells?  Since the acquisition of my first laptop my procurement of new materials has remained constant.  How many of you have numerous windows open whilst performing maintenance on your pipes?  I must admit I am guilty of this.  How many of you taught yourself to be left handed so you can scroll righty? My hand goes up.  How many of you have a mental list of your go-to girls depending on what fancy you wish to have suited?  Me. We all have our tendencies and I salute you for them.  Keep stroking and don't be embarrassed when you head to the cash @ Costco with the double pack of Petroleum Jelly.  The dude ringing you through has the jam jar sitting beside his bed.  

Environmental Masturbation revisited.

I am writing this post because my mom wants me too.  Her and I got into a heated argument last night after she read my post about masturbating the environmental friendly way.  Momma Ingalls did not see the irony, satire and pure literary genius it took to construct such a flawless post, but instead could not see past the subject matter of the post.  I say it's all in good fun.  She did not agree.  I enjoi writing about subjects that are typically taboo that everyone partakes in.  I enjoi coupling topics that do not usually get grouped together.  Please, if you feel I am being inappropriate, do not hesitate to voice your opinion and comment on my posts.  In the meantime I will keep the rest of my posts this week PG -----> PRETTY GANGSTER.