Impact Wrestling: A Haven for Drunks and Junkies in Wrestling

Poster child for Impact's laxity on drug use
Photo Credit: ImpactWrestling.com

There are a lot of exciting things happening in Impact Wrestling. Despite lack of direction, they have young guys who work exciting matches, and usually, shows can have as much good as they have bad. The bad can be really bad. However, as bad as they do in character, out of character, what they do, or should I be more specific, what they don't do is what is so infuriating. Two weeks ago, Matt Hardy was released from Impact ostensibly after getting into a single vehicle car accident, slamming into a tree. We all thought that maybe Impact was on the right track with their treatment of recidivist substance abusers, but then last night, Kurt Angle had his third drunk driving incident in the last five years. What was done? Nothing. Given the swiftness with which they handled Hardy, you'd think they'd have acted swiftly with Angle, right? ESPECIALLY since he was nailed earlier this year for something similar.

They didn't.

Granted, they could, but look back to the North Dakota incident this year. They didn't do anything to Angle at all. Look back at Victory Road too. They acted WAY too late when Jeff Hardy showed up to the arena (again, mind you) "in no condition to perform". Impact's long-term history when it comes to substance abuse is laughable enough that they deserve absolutely no leeway in judgment. So, what message do they send? It's loud and clear. Impact Wrestling is a haven for drug addicts and drunks. The only way you get fired is if creative has nothing for you, or you irritate Dixie Carter or someone above her in the pecking order. Obviously, that's why Angle and Jeff Hardy still have jobs. That's why Matt Hardy doesn't. It's clear as day.

So, why would anyone who toes the line even want to work there? I mean, all you have to do is get on someone's good side and anything you do is alright. What does that do to morale? What does that do to the people who don't do drugs or who don't run afoul of the law, ESPECIALLY when the people who do are the ones who get pushed to the moon? I mean, I hate going on conjectural reports about locker room morale, but when shit like this happens, and Angle isn't IMMEDIATELY reprimanded, then that smoke automatically says to me that there's fire. Absolutely.

The people who suffer aren't just the Austin Arieses and AJ Styleses of the world. It's everyone. For wrestling fans, all the work that CM Punk is doing to try and make this cool again will be undone because Impact will further the stereotype that carnies, junkies and white trash populate the ring, so of course the fans are the same. WWE suffers because no matter how stringent they make their Wellness Policy and no matter how much PR work they do with legitimate entertainment outlets (although Alex Riley and others have shown us this year that WWE has a LOT of work to do re: drunk driving), that they'll be lumped in with the old stereotypes because their biggest competition. Maybe David D. of The Smoking Section had it right with his idea that Vince McMahon needed to buy the company out for his own survival.

I'm beginning to sound like a broken record here, but c'mon son, how many more times are people going to be allowed to give Impact a black eye just because the brass likes them. They need to crack down, yadda yadda yadda. I can't even type it anymore. Hey, if Dixie and her bosses are happy running a fucking opium den, then it's their company. However, someone is going to die in their ring, and the fact that the government hasn't audited them is embarrassing. The wrestlers need to be shown consequence for their actions or else they won't learn. If Impact won't do it, Florida, Tennessee or Uncle Sam should.

One Hardy's Gone, Another Hardy Returns

Via F4W Online

Apparently, Jeff Hardy makes his return to Impact Wrestling at the TV tapings in Huntsville, AL on Thursday. Just when you think it's safe to laud the former-TNA for good decision making after firing his brother Matt (and that's even laughable, but if I say too much else, I'm giving away my CCB column for this week), they're bringing back the other brother. Then again, did anyone ever think that Jeff would be the more stable of the two (and that's a relative term)? I dunno. Anyway, like Alvarez, I'm skeptical that Jeff is 100% ready to return, but then again, maybe he is clean and ready for the schedule again. Who knows. I guess we'll find out Thursday.

Impact Wrestling Growing a Set? (Re: Hardys)

Via Cageside Seats

So apparently, Matt and Jeff Hardy haven't made their way back to Impact Wrestling because management is sticking by their demands for them to go to rehab. In the interest of fairness, Matt has denied those reports over Twitter, but at the same time, he's not the most trustworthy source himself, given that he has such an adversarial nature with "the dirtsheets" that he could urinate in a fountain, have TMZ capture video of it and then deny it anyway after Meltzer disseminated it to his readers.

That being said, if this is true, and Impact is standing by their insistence on rehab, it shows that they're taking a huge step in the right direction. Even as recently as five months ago, when Jeff worked a "match" visibly under the influence of some controlled substance at a PPV main event, the former TNA's commitment to a healthy, safe workplace was called into question. That they'll stand up to the most egregious drug users on the roster is a step in the right direction, because in the past, they hadn't shown a willingness to do even that.

However, if they cave and bring the Hardys back WITHOUT any rehab, then it's an epic fail, but for now, and I stress that these are just reports without any primary sources, this is somewhat good news.

Punk Week Flashback: "I Bet You Know Something about Prescriptions"

Punk won his first World Championship in 2008, cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase on a wobbly, just-beaten-up-by-Big-Dave Edge, but his first real Championship moment came when he cashed in his second briefcase on Jeff Hardy. Fans didn't react to Punk as a conquering hero the second time around because at the time Hardy was their conquering hero. If this happened two years later... well actually, that'd be impossible since Hardy would fail the piss test required of him to work for WWE and my guess is Punk wouldn't be caught dead in an Impact Wrestling ring. That being said, knowing what we know now, how was Punk the heel in this situation? Anyway, this is the epic promo that sealed the deal for Punk as a star performer in WWE, at least in my opinion.

GraphJam Presents: What Does It Take to Get Fired from Impact?

There was a rumor going around Monday night that Jeff Hardy had been fired from Impact. That rumor turned out to be false, but I believed it at first because hey, if you can't get fired for making an impaired-ass out of yourself on Youtube while you were supposed to be in rehab after showing up high to a PPV main event match, what the fuck can you get fired for? Well, I asked that question to my crack team of researchers at GraphJam Institutes, USA, and got this handy-dandy bar graph in return:

The results are incontrovertible!

The Hardy Boys and Reby Sky in: Who Wants to Look Like the Biggest Moron?

Some rehab Jeff Hardy's going through. I don't know what he, his brother and his brother's girlfriend Reby Sky are on, but it's some good shit if they're going to play with a fucking TAZER. Seriously, if Impact brings Jeff back after this, then they deserve to rot. In fact, I'd say send Matt Hardy home too. Hell, Gabe Sapolsky, if you read this blog, maybe you ought not to book Reby Sky for your DGUSA events anymore since she's clearly unhinged. I know indie locker rooms CAN be fucked up, but this is on video. It's hard to ignore.

People like these need help, not adulation. If you subscribe to Matt Hardy's Youtube channel, I say unsubscribe and force him to get the help he needs. Ditto for his brother. Ditto for his girlfriend.

Video brought to my attention by TWB OG-reader/commenter KoppoKick!

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!