Wrestling Six Packs: Patriotic Gimmicks

HOOOOOO
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Yesterday was Independence Day, in case this is the first time you've read this blog all day and live, say, in Kazakhstan or some other country where July 4th is just another day. But yeah, in America, it's a big deal. Since pro wrestling has become ingrained in American culture, of course several gimmicks within the artform have certain patriotic tinges. Here are six of my favorites.

1. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan

HOOOOOOOOOO! Ol' Hacksaw may be the most iconic embodiment of the Red, White and Blue. I've written about him at length before, so here's what I wrote in honor of his Hall of Fame induction:

Duggan was always a sentimental favorite of mine. Back when I first really got into wrestling, he was my second favorite guy behind Hulk Hogan, a guy whom today would probably have gotten a title run or two because of how over he was. Of course, Duggan was a hero of a long gone era, back when it was cool to be a patriot. Even for how jingoistic wrestling crowds still are and how well foreign heels still can get over, the all-American face has disappeared. Even if his gimmick was cheap and he acted like a borderline mental patient, Duggan's affable spirit and gung-ho, take no prisoners approach in the ring endeared him to several of the WWF's devoted fans, myself included.

And here's what I wrote about him last Fourth of July:

Was Duggan the best technical wrestler? Hell no. Was he the most handsome wrestler? No, he was as homely as a mule. However, he was resilient. He was tough. He never said die. He embodied America better than anyone else did. A blue-collar, flag-waving hero for all the kids to look up to. He made it proud to be an American. He fought Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Sheik. His flag waving made Communists everywhere shit their pants. When Ronald Reagan told Gorbechev to "tear down that wall", you know why Gorby complied? Reagan had Duggan standing right behind him. Jim Duggan's "HOOOOOOOOO!" haunted Fidel Castro's nightmares until the day his brain finally gave out. Any time China starts shit, Duggan heads over there with his 2x4 and reminds them why they'll never stand a chance, even though they outnumber us 4 to 1. So, let's hear it for America, July 4th and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, tough guy.

In short, fuck you, Hacksaw's the man.

2. The Great American Bash

The name of the event always conjured up images of summer. Cookouts, fireworks, the American flag. There's just such a tradition behind the name, even if the event had become "just another PPV" in its later years. I think there's a lot of potential for a special event here. I know the logistics of having PPV outdoors can be rough, but a cookout-themed event? Yeah, I'd go in a heartbeat.

3. The Lex Express

I extolled the virtues of the event that launched this bus-tour around the country earlier on today, so why wouldn't I list this? While Luger didn't exactly pan out for WWE as a top guy, I loved the Lex Express as a kid. So cheesy, but so fun at the same time. Plus, it's inspired the Flex Express today, so it gets a lot of replay value as well.

4. Kurt Angle

Angle made the American hero character archetype and flipped it on its head, playing up his persona so geekily that he got boos instead of the cheers that his forebears would have garnered. In the early days, Angle's character was so fresh and goofy that he was truly an innovator. It didn't hurt that his comedic delivery was on point.

5. Steve Austin

When you think Stone Cold, you generally don't imagine the Stars 'n Stripes. In fact, he generally embodies nihilism, selfishness and rampant recklessness. But for a hot second, he was the leader of an unlikely group of invaders into Canada to battle the Hart Foundation. Yes, Canadian Stampede, generally regarded as the best In Your House and one of the greatest overall PPVs ever, featured a 10-man main event that saw Austin defend America's honor, along with Goldust, Ken Shamrock and the Road Warriors, in the heart of Hart country, Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He wasn't singing Lee Greenwood or draped in Old Glory, but on that day, Austin was a de facto patriot.

6. Tribute to the Troops

In a serious note, one of the best things WWE does each year is the Tribute to the Troops. It can be hip to forget the military or to bash them for the sins of the political fat cats who send them to war for their own personal gain, but the WWE never forgets these brave men and women. They actually are treated well all year long, gaining free entry into WWE events, but the best is when the company brings the action to them. It's a total fanservice show, but for these fans who may not be there to enjoy the show next year, well, it's well-deserved.

Chikara Presents The Flex Express

USA! USA!

Via Chikara's site

Just when you thought Chikara couldn't get any more awesome... well, backstory first. At the Fan Conclave this year for King of Trios, there was an open challenge to body slam Tursas, the 300+ lb. behemoth from the BDK. Several tried, fans, Chikara natives, even the curmudgeonly old-timer Matt Classic teased trying. None were able to succeed until Green Ant, the resilient rookie from the Colony, came out, dazed the big man with his "illegal" steel plate in his forearm, a repair measure from breaking it, and then got him off his feet. He looked like he would succeed until devious BDK ring announcer and "wrestler" Jakob Hammermeir chop blocked him, causing Tursas to squish the poor ant. Of course, later on that night, the BDK team of Hammermeir, Tim Donst and Delirious was eliminated from the KoT tournament by the Colony after Green Ant finished the job and slammed Tursas.

Afterwards, Green Ant stumped to get Tursas in a singles match, and he has one signed for Night One of Chikarasaurus Rex weekend. He's getting on the Flex Express, touring the United States, looking for support from the good ol' US of A for his quest to vanquish the Finnish monster with a righteous fake beard.

If this sounds an awful lot like the Lex Express angle the WWF did back in 1993, then good for you, you have a great memory. That's exactly why this is awesome. It's a great, tongue-in-cheek tribute to the old angle, using a real-life injury to help tell an awesome story. It also helps that the guy in the Lex Luger role, Green Ant, probably has as much muscle mass in his whole body that Luger maybe had in his right pectoral muscle in 1993. That's what makes this great though, it's lulz-inducing on one hand, but Greenie is one of the most endearing wrestlers on the roster. He's also become one of my favorite workers in the entire fed. His chain-wrestling exhibitions with Mike Quackenbush are among the best experience-contrast opening matches you'll see in any promotion on the planet right now. He has a great handle on tag wrestling, and I like his offensive game as well, especially his cloverleaf.

My only complaint is that this match won't happen on Night Two, when I'll actually be in attendance. Still, you know I'll be there in Reading in spirit. And hopefully, Green Ant gets a better fate in his match than Luger did in his fated SummerSlam '93 tilt against Yokozuna.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography