My Favorite Wrestlers Ever: #5

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Hulk Hogan
Three Favorite Matches: vs. Andre the Giant at WrestleMania III, vs. Sgt. Slaughter at WrestleMania VII and vs. The Rock at WrestleMania X-8
Three Favorite Moments: Bodyslamming Andre the Giant, Vanquishing Yokozuna at WrestleMania IX, Joining the nWo at Bash at the Beach 1996

Prayers, vitamins, Hulkamania. These were staples for any wrestling fan in the Northeast or anywhere in the country outside of NWA/WCW country in the 1980s. It's true, I was a Hulkamaniac growing up, and in many ways I am. The wild spirit of that larger-than-life, statuesque blond bomber is the one that I try to remember now, because for all his faults, for all the backstage machinations and the overblown interviews and the blaming of the fans for WCW and the hobbling around past his prime in Impact, he still had one of the biggest hands in making me the wrestling fan that I am today.

Yeah, he wasn't a great worker in the sense that I look for today. That was Bret Hart and Mr. Perfect and all those guys. Hogan could work in the way that he could hold the audience in the palm of his hand₁. That's what he was called upon to do. He was meant to fight the bad guys, be they foreign or just dicks. He was supposed to take a beating, shrug it off as he hulked up, threw up the big boot and dropped the leg. And you know what? I ate that shit up.

And that's how I choose to remember Hulk Hogan, at least the good Hulk Hogan. It's hard to like the Hogan who rages on Twitter or bumbles through segments on Impact. Very hard. But the thing is, that embarrassment doesn't do anything to take away my enjoyment of watching his classic clips. That's the sign of someone who's had that much of an effect on you.

1 - Hogan actually was a good worker in technical terms too. Look up some of his Japanese stuff.

Wrestling Six Packs: Patriotic Gimmicks

HOOOOOO
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Yesterday was Independence Day, in case this is the first time you've read this blog all day and live, say, in Kazakhstan or some other country where July 4th is just another day. But yeah, in America, it's a big deal. Since pro wrestling has become ingrained in American culture, of course several gimmicks within the artform have certain patriotic tinges. Here are six of my favorites.

1. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan

HOOOOOOOOOO! Ol' Hacksaw may be the most iconic embodiment of the Red, White and Blue. I've written about him at length before, so here's what I wrote in honor of his Hall of Fame induction:

Duggan was always a sentimental favorite of mine. Back when I first really got into wrestling, he was my second favorite guy behind Hulk Hogan, a guy whom today would probably have gotten a title run or two because of how over he was. Of course, Duggan was a hero of a long gone era, back when it was cool to be a patriot. Even for how jingoistic wrestling crowds still are and how well foreign heels still can get over, the all-American face has disappeared. Even if his gimmick was cheap and he acted like a borderline mental patient, Duggan's affable spirit and gung-ho, take no prisoners approach in the ring endeared him to several of the WWF's devoted fans, myself included.

And here's what I wrote about him last Fourth of July:

Was Duggan the best technical wrestler? Hell no. Was he the most handsome wrestler? No, he was as homely as a mule. However, he was resilient. He was tough. He never said die. He embodied America better than anyone else did. A blue-collar, flag-waving hero for all the kids to look up to. He made it proud to be an American. He fought Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Sheik. His flag waving made Communists everywhere shit their pants. When Ronald Reagan told Gorbechev to "tear down that wall", you know why Gorby complied? Reagan had Duggan standing right behind him. Jim Duggan's "HOOOOOOOOO!" haunted Fidel Castro's nightmares until the day his brain finally gave out. Any time China starts shit, Duggan heads over there with his 2x4 and reminds them why they'll never stand a chance, even though they outnumber us 4 to 1. So, let's hear it for America, July 4th and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, tough guy.

In short, fuck you, Hacksaw's the man.

2. The Great American Bash

The name of the event always conjured up images of summer. Cookouts, fireworks, the American flag. There's just such a tradition behind the name, even if the event had become "just another PPV" in its later years. I think there's a lot of potential for a special event here. I know the logistics of having PPV outdoors can be rough, but a cookout-themed event? Yeah, I'd go in a heartbeat.

3. The Lex Express

I extolled the virtues of the event that launched this bus-tour around the country earlier on today, so why wouldn't I list this? While Luger didn't exactly pan out for WWE as a top guy, I loved the Lex Express as a kid. So cheesy, but so fun at the same time. Plus, it's inspired the Flex Express today, so it gets a lot of replay value as well.

4. Kurt Angle

Angle made the American hero character archetype and flipped it on its head, playing up his persona so geekily that he got boos instead of the cheers that his forebears would have garnered. In the early days, Angle's character was so fresh and goofy that he was truly an innovator. It didn't hurt that his comedic delivery was on point.

5. Steve Austin

When you think Stone Cold, you generally don't imagine the Stars 'n Stripes. In fact, he generally embodies nihilism, selfishness and rampant recklessness. But for a hot second, he was the leader of an unlikely group of invaders into Canada to battle the Hart Foundation. Yes, Canadian Stampede, generally regarded as the best In Your House and one of the greatest overall PPVs ever, featured a 10-man main event that saw Austin defend America's honor, along with Goldust, Ken Shamrock and the Road Warriors, in the heart of Hart country, Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He wasn't singing Lee Greenwood or draped in Old Glory, but on that day, Austin was a de facto patriot.

6. Tribute to the Troops

In a serious note, one of the best things WWE does each year is the Tribute to the Troops. It can be hip to forget the military or to bash them for the sins of the political fat cats who send them to war for their own personal gain, but the WWE never forgets these brave men and women. They actually are treated well all year long, gaining free entry into WWE events, but the best is when the company brings the action to them. It's a total fanservice show, but for these fans who may not be there to enjoy the show next year, well, it's well-deserved.

WWE Celebrating the 4th of July... in the Southern Hemisphere?

I could get used to seeing this every Fourth of July or on a date somewhere near there
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Eighteen years ago yesterday, the then-WWF held one of the most iconic events in the fed's history. Yokozuna held an open challenge to any American to see if they could bodyslam his 500+ lbs. frame on the USS Intrepid, docked in New York City. It was a foreigner looking to shame Americans on a national landmark, no less. While competitor after competitor failed, the final one, Lex Luger, manned up for the Red, White and Blue and slammed that smug sumo right on his ass. It was a special event for a special holiday, and even though Luger never materialized as the megastar Vince McMahon hoped he'd be after that, it still resonates through WWE's history as something special for a company that purports to love America.

In the grand tradition of that event, WWE spent Independence Day yesterday either doing house shows in or being en route to house shows in the Southern Hemisphere... wait, what? Yes, RAW was on tour in Australia, while Smackdown was gearing up to make South Africa their home for the next week. For a company that very much considers itself part of the heritage of this nation (and for better or worse, they definitely are), for them to tape a show to air on the 4th of July a week before and be out of the country on that date is a little disappointing. Granted, I don't think they should be called to the carpet and have Toby Keith feebly attempt to write a scathing song about their lack of patriotism, but I think on any working holiday they have, they should spend it in the States.

I don't know what the reasoning for their touring schedule was. Maybe it was coincidence. Maybe these were the only times that were convenient for them to visit Australia and South Africa. WWE is a global company, and I'm glad that they travel to all corners of the world. The more I have in common with people around the world, the easier it is for me to gain an audience on here or to talk about if/when I travel abroad. Yeah, I'm selfish. Deal with it.

The thing is, the WWE prides itself on being part of the American fabric. They proved it last night, with Sgt. Slaughter and Jack SWAGGAH~! fighting over the right to say the Pledge of Allegiance, or with their emphasis on honoring the military each year. It's baffling why they wouldn't want to celebrate the Fourth with their native fans.

I also want to say that I'm not mad at how things are. I mean, we got a really good show last night, and hey, when you boil it all down a date is a date, I guess. That people in other countries get to enjoy WWE is the important thing. At the same time though, I look back at that date on the Intrepid and think, wow, that was a great way to tie into the spirit of the holiday without looking too obsequious or patronizing to the country and the sense of patriotism we feel on that day. I knwo they won't deliver on that moment every year, but if they try (but not too hard), then maybe they have some kind of tradition that keeps going every year.

I dunno, I guess I have more pride in being an American than I thought. It's great that we share one of our longstanding producers of entertainment with the rest of the world. It really is. However, I can't help but feel a bit wistful when we don't get to have just one day for this country. Maybe it'd be a bit better if a top-line indie fed stepped up to fill that tradition, but either way, pro wrestling is something that we Americans do a certain way, and that tradition has become as American as baseball. I think WWE should step up and take that mantel for themselves.

Happy Independence Day, America!

Because there's nothing more patriotic than watching a guy in a stars and stripes polo shirt bodyslamming a fat Samoan pretending to be Japanese on battleship:

Chikara Presents The Flex Express

USA! USA!

Via Chikara's site

Just when you thought Chikara couldn't get any more awesome... well, backstory first. At the Fan Conclave this year for King of Trios, there was an open challenge to body slam Tursas, the 300+ lb. behemoth from the BDK. Several tried, fans, Chikara natives, even the curmudgeonly old-timer Matt Classic teased trying. None were able to succeed until Green Ant, the resilient rookie from the Colony, came out, dazed the big man with his "illegal" steel plate in his forearm, a repair measure from breaking it, and then got him off his feet. He looked like he would succeed until devious BDK ring announcer and "wrestler" Jakob Hammermeir chop blocked him, causing Tursas to squish the poor ant. Of course, later on that night, the BDK team of Hammermeir, Tim Donst and Delirious was eliminated from the KoT tournament by the Colony after Green Ant finished the job and slammed Tursas.

Afterwards, Green Ant stumped to get Tursas in a singles match, and he has one signed for Night One of Chikarasaurus Rex weekend. He's getting on the Flex Express, touring the United States, looking for support from the good ol' US of A for his quest to vanquish the Finnish monster with a righteous fake beard.

If this sounds an awful lot like the Lex Express angle the WWF did back in 1993, then good for you, you have a great memory. That's exactly why this is awesome. It's a great, tongue-in-cheek tribute to the old angle, using a real-life injury to help tell an awesome story. It also helps that the guy in the Lex Luger role, Green Ant, probably has as much muscle mass in his whole body that Luger maybe had in his right pectoral muscle in 1993. That's what makes this great though, it's lulz-inducing on one hand, but Greenie is one of the most endearing wrestlers on the roster. He's also become one of my favorite workers in the entire fed. His chain-wrestling exhibitions with Mike Quackenbush are among the best experience-contrast opening matches you'll see in any promotion on the planet right now. He has a great handle on tag wrestling, and I like his offensive game as well, especially his cloverleaf.

My only complaint is that this match won't happen on Night Two, when I'll actually be in attendance. Still, you know I'll be there in Reading in spirit. And hopefully, Green Ant gets a better fate in his match than Luger did in his fated SummerSlam '93 tilt against Yokozuna.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

TWIOT: Gratuitous Beer Post

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin

I knew there was a reason why Ol' Ben is my favorite amongst the Founding Fathers. Even if beer is wholly an invention of man, it really is something that, if consumed in responsible quantities, enhances life and good times. The key word there is responsible, as really, getting piss drunk or developing a dependency on alcohol are both not cool at all. But this isn't about lecturing, it's about enjoying the greatness that is beer.

Now, for those who do know me, I'm not really into the garden variety light beers from the major breweries that are usually associated with sudsy consumption. That isn't to say that I'm a beer snob. No, you're a snob when you look down on people for drinking what they drink. If you want to chug Coors Light or Miller Lite, hey, be my guest. Don't expect me to partake though, because I don't like it. That isn't really a slight against the mainstream brewers either. I have hipster tendencies when it comes to beer, but I used to house the shit out of Budweiser before I realized that even drinking one or two of them would give me a hangover the next day. I also enjoy Corona, Guinness, Yuengling and all the different offerings from Sam Adams, and really, if you see advertisements for a beer on TV, they're mainstream.

But then again, since they're all over the place, you know about them. Again, I'm about to get somewhat beer hipster on your asses, but at the same time, I AIN'T CARE if I set the path for these beers to go mainstream. Why? Because they're that good and they need to be shared by people. I'm a firm believer that if something is good, it deserves to be lauded and sampled by everyone. So I'm gonna give some of my favorite off-the-radar beers and hope that you can at least find them.

Awww yeah
Photo Credit: Me

That right there is 3 Philosophers Belgian-style Quadrupel produced by Brewery Ommegang based in Cooperstown, NY. Ommegang is an abbey-style brewery in America, proving that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and that no, the monks over in Belgium aren't the only ones who know how to make top-notch beer. I was turned onto this by a buddy of mine who works for Origlio Beverage Distributors, and it has literally changed my life, at least in terms of what kinds of beers I look for. It has a strong, ale flavor, typical of most Belgians, but it has the hint of cherry. The reason is that 2 percent of it by volume is a kriek, or a cherry lambic.

Now, there are some terms you might need to know going forward that I probably should have introduced. The Belgians have a sort of nomenclature system when it comes to their beers. You have dubbel, tripel and quadrupel. Those names imply a hierarchy, which is there, both in flavor and in potency. Dubbels are traditionally the weakest in terms of alcohol by volume (ABV), while Quadrupels are strongest. That isn't to say dubbels are weak at all. The least potent abbey-style ale will be inordinately stronger than your typical macrobrew here in the States. Also, dubbels are usually brown ales, tripels blond and quadrupels having more of a deep, golden color reminiscent of traditional Pilsner-style lagers you find in America (Bud, Miller etc.). The color is really the only thing that a quadrupel has in common with a traditional American lager, because the flavor, alcohol content and overall quality blows most mainstream beer here out of the water.

Furthermore, lambic-style beers are brews made with fruit. The most common one that I've seen is framboise, which literally translates from the French to raspberry. It's the tastiest of the ones I've tried and it also mixes well with other beers, specifically a chocolate stout. Kriek, pomme (apple) and even cranberry (Sam Adams makes a good one in that style) are also popular lambics. The ABV is traditionally lower than what you'd find in abbey/Trappist style beers, but then again, lambics are generally brewed with lighter flavors in mind, rather than the strong, distinctive ale-flavors in other Belgians.

Back to 3 Philosophers, I'm not really a big fan of cherry flavoring most of the time. I tried Sam Adams' Cherry Wheat and almost threw up. However, the slight hint of cherry flavoring in this beer works on such a great level. It plays with the stronger beer flavor in a way that makes it smoother and deceptively less "alcohol" tasting than you'd think for a beer with 9.8% ABV.

Testify!
Photo Credit: Me

This is another Belgian-style beer from an American company, this time based out of Fort Bragg, CA. North Coast Brewing Co. is responsible for Brother Thelonious, and while I might be speaking out of turn, this might just be my favorite dubbel-style ale right now. Don't get me wrong, Chimay makes a fine one as well, and other companies shine. Abbey-style dubbel, along with stout, porter, traditional Czech Pilsner and Indian pale ale, is in my top five of styles of beer. There are a lot of great breweries, here and in the abbeys across the Atlantic, making quality dark strong ales.

However, what makes Brother Thelonious stand out most? I think it has the cleanest, smoothest taste, not sacrificing flavor or ABV but having the least hint of acridity that sometimes comes with brewing in this style. It's so drinkable that you can take out a four pack before you know it, which is good or bad depending on how inebriated you wanted to get.

The boar approves!
Photo Credit: Me

This might be a little harder to find for you if you're not in Philly, eastern PA or somewhere near there. If you can find it though, Lancaster Brewing Co. Hop Hog IPA is well worth the purchase. Most IPAs (India pale ale) are acquired tastes, as they're very bitter on account of the massive amounts of hops used for brewing. That being said, if you do have the palette for it, then you probably love drinking them. It truly is a love/hate beer.

I like Hop Hog best because it does the best job of balancing out the bitterness with the citrus notes underneath. Plus, as most IPAs do, it pairs well with spicy foods, and I'm a huge fan of the foods that set your mouth on fire.

JA!
Photo Credit: Me

Ah yes, Germany's submission to the list is Schneider Aventinus, a Weizenbock-style beer from Private Weissbierbrauerei G. Schneider und Sohn. Weizenbocks are cousins to the Hefeweizen-style German brews, which means it's a wheat beer with an unfiltered appearance and texture. It might look murky, but it's supposed to be that way, and actually they can be quite delicious with fruity undertones. Aventinus is a beer that I usually have when I go to my local "beer snob" bar, because it's a safe pick. I know it's going to be there and I know I'll enjoy the hell out of it. Then again, a "safe pick" for me is very adventurous for someone whose idea of a fancy beer is Guinness. Again, nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying. The first time I had it, I was absolutely shocked at how it tasted, actually. You look at a darker beer and think you'll get coffee, chocolate, honey and other heavier, more wintry flavors associated with brews of those color. Not with Aventinus, which boasts banana, apple and even floral undertones.

The OG of Pilsners
Photo Credit: Me

You know the Czechs have been brewing beer longer than there's been a country associated with their nationality? Then again, that goes for the Belgians too, but a lot of what is drunk here in America is a direct descendant of what brewers in the Czech Republic have been doing for about a millennium now. Budweiser even took its name from a Czech brewer and called its product a Pilsner. I'm not sure there are many beer afficianados who'd be okay with either one of those things, but it is what it is.

That being said, Pilsner Urquell, from the brewery of the same name, is one of the original brewers in this style. This is the idealized version of the mainstream American lager. It's clean, crisp, refreshing and has an unmistakable beer flavor that isn't bogged down by a stale or skunky taste that at least I find in most "light" beers (especially Miller Lite... I fuckin' hate that shit, but hey, if you like it, you like it. I can't stress that enough). I don't know, I think if you want to drink an "exotic" beer and you're used to drinking the same ol', this might be the best entree into the world of craft and import beers. It's the best of what's around, I think.

But hey, if you want to be adventurous, be adventurous. Try new things, different things, things that you might not otherwise drink unless someone offered it to you to try. Life is based on new experiences to add to the familiar ones that you already have. I'm not saying that you'll stop drinking Miller Lite or whatever after trying new beers, and I honestly don't want to promise that. There's a place for everything in this world. For as much shit as some people give me for being a "beer snob", I refuse to give it back for people drinking the "same shit". At the same time, I still think people should try everything they can, everything that looks remotely appealing to them.

That means trying a craft brew or an import or a special edition or even a homebrew. There are people out there making fantastic beers who are completely amateurs to the process. Great beer is found everywhere, and again, if you enjoy it responsibly, you'll find a good time wherever there's good beer.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Celebrate Flag Day, Jim Duggan Style

USA! USA!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I know I'm a bit late on this, but hey, it's better to get on something late than not at all, right? I got a Facebook invitation yesterday declaring today to be Hacksaw Jim Duggan Day. While it might make more sense to celebrate that kind of day on February 4th (2/4... GET IT?), well, I see the symbolism in having it on Flag Day as well, since he probably was the flag-wavingeset, most patriotic superstar in WWE history. Forgetting that entire episode where he joined the Canadian faction, but hey, that's Vince Russo at work. OF COURSE he'd take a shit on America in the name of TEH SWERVEZ~!

So, in honor of the day, in addition to waving your flag high, make sure you go up to a random person and just start chanting "USA! USA!" or "HOOOOOOOOO!" with your thumb raised up in the air. Hell, do it tomorrow too if you didn't catch on today, and blame me for not giving you the heads-up.

It's the only way any wrestling fan, nay, TRUE PATRIOT would celebrate the banner of this great nation!

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!