The Tozawa Cake Is Not a Lie

Via his Facebook page

Just when you thought that Akira Tozawa couldn't get any awesomer...

HADOUUUUUUUUUKEN
Photo Credit: Akira Tozawa

Yes, that is his birthday cake. It's way more epic than your birthday cake is. Unless it's the meatloaf cake with mashed potato icing. In which case you win, but only barely. His birthday is today, so happy birthday, Japanese Mugatu Tozawa-san!

Do You Want Wrestling?

Pictured: Wrestling.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Gabe Sapolsky posted his daily question on Facebook today, asking what people thought about RAW. The first comment was someone complaining about there being a lack of skits and backstage segments, implying that there was too much wrestling. It's funny, because the Sapolsky crowd usually is the one that's hashtagging #IWantWrestling on Twitter like it's their jobs. Then again, I have no idea whether this JP Ham fellow is part of that crew, but then again, he wasn't the only one. A lot of people were bemoaning the lack of segments on social media from what I saw. Some of them were calling the show boring before the show even began. One of those people was Sapolsky himself.

Yeah, the guy, who apparently is one of the godfathers of this push to want more wrestling saw that CM Punk wasn't going to be on the card and decided he was going to watch baseball instead. I guess he only wants wrestling if he's promoting it, which is fine, I guess. At the same time, to call a show boring before it even starts, one that was actually full of this thing called "wrestling", seems dishonest to me, especially among the fans, who don't have a monetary stake in wrestling and who proclaim to watch the product to be happy and be entertained.

So, when they get what they want, why are they clamoring for the status quo? I mean, there were seven matches last night, six if you don't want to count that Divas match and if you don't, I won't blame you. The only competitor in those six matches who was overexposed at this point was Rey Mysterio, and he had two borderline great matches with Dolph Ziggler and then R-Truth. The Miz worked babyface perfectly albeit possibly unintentionally. Kofi Kingston got to defeat Alberto del Rio and then cut a promo afterwards. This was everything that "we"₁ wanted. So why are there those among us who shit on the main event thrust of the show? It's the reason why we can't have nice things.

Granted, I know why people do this kind of thing. They're trolls, or they like complaining. I get it, but it's just frustrating, especially when that crowd for weeks says WWE doesn't give you wrestling. Two days in a row, two shows in a row, it was nothing but wrestling in the spotlight. I dunno.

But I'll tell you this. If you really want wrestling, then you're not going to comment on social media that there's too much wrestling on a wrestling show. There's no such thing as too much wrestling.

1 - "We" in quotes to poke fun at the stereotype that the Internet Wrestling Community has a hive-mind and thinks alike, disproven a clause later.

Amasis Update and Tribute

Via their Facebook page

The Funky Pharaoh in one of his final appearances

A week or so after Sugar Dunkerton's Tweets intimating that Amasis had to retire, the official Osirian Portal Facebook page confirmed that Amasis has to retire due to severe injuries suffered in a car accident in early May. The accident did considerable damage to his neck and spine, which are definite trouble areas when it comes to being a pro wrestler, especially in the indies.

While this is terrible and sad news, there is a glimmer of hope here. Amasis' injuries weren't severe enough to impact his quality of life. He'll be able to live like a normal human being, and that is great news to me. He can do other things than wrestle. We still have an entire roster of Chikara faithful who can perform for us. Considering the circumstances, Amasis being able to live without being confined to a wheelchair or the like is the best thing you could possibly hear out of this.

That isn't to say that I won't miss the guy. Portal matches won't be the same without him dancing in the ring, goading opponents into dance-offs or his unique Egyptian time-traveler style melded with lucha libre and puroresu. He's also one of the dudes I always bump into during intermission at Chikara shows, and on every occasion, he couldn't have been a nicer guy. Very fan-friendly, very talkative too. It sucks that the business is losing a guy like him, even if I do think that the industry is filled with affable, fan-friendly wrestlers for the most part.

Good luck and godspeed, Amasis. Get well, and thanks for an awesome career, as truncated as it was.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Celebrate Flag Day, Jim Duggan Style

USA! USA!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I know I'm a bit late on this, but hey, it's better to get on something late than not at all, right? I got a Facebook invitation yesterday declaring today to be Hacksaw Jim Duggan Day. While it might make more sense to celebrate that kind of day on February 4th (2/4... GET IT?), well, I see the symbolism in having it on Flag Day as well, since he probably was the flag-wavingeset, most patriotic superstar in WWE history. Forgetting that entire episode where he joined the Canadian faction, but hey, that's Vince Russo at work. OF COURSE he'd take a shit on America in the name of TEH SWERVEZ~!

So, in honor of the day, in addition to waving your flag high, make sure you go up to a random person and just start chanting "USA! USA!" or "HOOOOOOOOO!" with your thumb raised up in the air. Hell, do it tomorrow too if you didn't catch on today, and blame me for not giving you the heads-up.

It's the only way any wrestling fan, nay, TRUE PATRIOT would celebrate the banner of this great nation!

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Hulk Hogan Blames Consumers for the Fall of WCW

From WrestleChat.Net Via Hogan's Facebook

Arrogant and arrogant... er?
Photo Credit: TNAWrestling.com

I rolled my eyes at Eric Bischoff's tweet about the 90% of wrestling fans being drowned out by the mouth 10% about TNA's quality. Yeah, because THAT'S why people don't watch Impact. But yeah, I ignored it because hey, don't feed the trolls. However, his tag team partner in smug arrogance, Hulk Hogan, took to his Facebook with this gem:

But in reality it was a lot of you idiot fans that killed wcw with your lack of appreciation and support for everything we did for you. Funny enough a lot of you morons like TNA too. Go figure.

Brilliant analysis there Hulk. It was the consumers who didn't appreciate what you were producing that killed WCW, not the product becoming so shitty that the demand for it kept going down. Y'know, in any other industry, if a product concept fails, the company admits it and keeps plugging along. Coke didn't blame the public for not liking New Coke; they scrapped the product and gave the public what they wanted. Hogan though? Well, it's not his problem that you didn't like WCW. It has to be ALL OF YOU... actually, ALL OF US, since yeah, I wasn't exactly on the late-WCW train.

But for posterity, and I really don't need to post this, but why not since Hogan feels the need to blame us for WCW's demise, here's a list of more valid reasons than "us ingrates didn't appreciate his high art" as to why WCW failed:

1. The Finger Poke of Doom
2. Egos run amok causing bad booking to ruin hot storylines
3. The submarining of a popular cruiserweight division, to the point where the matches became background noise for Bischoff to overkill the nWo angle, via Tony Schiavone and his announce team partners
4. Vince Russo doing to the dying body of WCW what Kane was accused of doing to Katie Vick in character
5. Stars refusing to put over newer guys for fear that they'd lose their spot, DESPITE THE FACT that Randy Savage put over DDP, made him, and kept his spot in the long run
6. The bungling of Sting after Starrcade in 1997
7. The fact that the WWF had created a hot product while WCW was pissing away its good fortune, thus causing more people to watch their brand of wrestling over WCW's

I really could keep going for a couple of hundred reasons, and I still wouldn't come across "ingrate fans being stubborn". In fact, there's actually no such thing as an ingrate fan because you're a fan based on the product you're given on the TV. I am under no obligation to continue watching a show if I don't like it. Hogan and Bischoff don't understand this. They also don't understand that people who don't mouth off on the Internet (which is their God-given right if they do, by the way) about displeasure over direction are also the ones not watching, not just the vocal ones, whether legit or trollish in nature.

But hey, I guess it's easier to blame us than it is to blame themselves. It just goes to show how fucking clueless both Hogan and Bischoff (and by extension, Russo and Dixie Carter) are about all this.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!