Mission Accomplished!: How Zack Ryder Became a DIY Huge Star

Zack Ryder, searching for this week's Broski of the Week?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Zack Ryder finally arrived last night.

After months and months of rallying the WWE fans to put pressure on the company to give the man more of a platform to shine, Ryder got his ultimate reward in a video package, a spotlight position in a tag match as Jerry Lawler's partner against the Newish Nexus, badgering from Michael Cole and the pinfall victory with his finisher. Unlike other darlings of the Internet, Ryder did all this to massive applause. Those cheers have been there since the Long Island RAW where Ryder wasn't to be seen anywhere but on Superstars, and finally the attention from the front office has caught up to the fan reaction.

The biggest thing that this proves is that maybe, just maybe, WWE is wising up to the fact that it's not just "their" vision that creates stars. Ryder was unhappy with the amount of time on TV he had and the lack of merchandise that was being made for him, so he made a Youtube show and built a grassroots rapport with fans who already were supporting him from having watched him on ECW. Those fans spread the word, and Ryder himself found his coworkers who already liked him and what he was doing becoming more and more vocal about him needing more time to shine. Suddenly, Ryder had a groundswell of emotional investment that manifested itself through Dolph Ziggler after he did not appear on the main RAW telecast in his hometown. The "boys" and the fans have been two groups of people whose opinions really only seemed to matter when they fell in line with what WWE wanted to present recently. While there seems to be a sea change in that kind of thinking that has manifested itself through CM Punk, the Divas of Doom, Christian and even Mark Henry, Ryder still stands out as the starkest example of how DIY can work in WWE.

Don't make any mistakes either judging his rise, because it was as do-it-yourself as you could get in the corporate machine of WWE nowadays. I think that's what makes his rise the most satisfying out of anyone's right now. He saw an opportunity to innovate how one builds character in WWE, seized it, and now, his hard work is paying off. Because of my own biases, my two favorite moments in WWE this year were both at Money in the Bank, when Daniel Bryan won his briefcase and CM Punk kissed Vince McMahon goodbye, but I think a solid third for me was last night, when Ryder got the pin with the Rough Ryder, got the crowd to explode and then got to stand with Lawler as victorious. It's a testament to how well Ryder has done for himself. He proved that the party line passed down by Steve Austin on Tough Enough and repeated by Warrior in his Randy Savage tribute as what used to be "back in the day" still works, no matter how much evidence there is right now to the contrary. If you make your own way, you will be rewarded.

For WWE to survive, I think that credo needs to be adopted by more than just Long Island Ice Z. Churning out mass-produced, dime-a-dozen bland bodybuilders isn't going to create new stars for fans to latch onto. Having guys show their creativity and get people to support them? Yeah, that's going to work. Granted, not everyone can be Ryder, but you won't know who the Ryders of the world are going to be until you give guys the platform to shine independent of the writing staff. Maybe this might mean that a guy like Johnny Curtis will be able to improv a bit instead of doing those lame visual pun segments. Maybe it means Dolph Ziggler will be able to express himself more than just through deferring to Vickie Guerrero. Maybe it means Colt Cabana gets a second chance with the company to right the wrong of his first run as Scotty Goldman. Who knows at this point.

But what I do know is that last night, Ryder finally was made and finally at least earned his spot with the company for as long as they'll have him. WWE could do something stupid like not feature him ever again, but at this point, why would they? The guy can be a huge star for them, and I think the treatment he got last night was indicative of the fact that they know he can be huge for them.

And that makes his run last night the most satisfying thing to happen on the entire telecast. I think it's safe to say that Zack Ryder has finally made it, and I couldn't be happier.

Follow Friday: Bryan Douglass

This week's Follow Friday spotlights Bryan Douglass, found @bpdouglass. Who is he? Well, he's a pretty interesting fellow there, fella. He used to be an editor at Gunaxin, a quite prominent sports/entertainment/culture site, but now he's involved in something new, a site called "Wayin". Right now, it's a sort of hybrid between Tumblr, Formspring and the Facebook question feature. You post pictures, associate a multiple choice question with it, and people answer. It's still very much in its early stages, so there's alot of room for evolution. That being said, he's got a lot of enthusiasm for where it might go.

When not involved with Wayin, Bryan is busy retweeting a lot of interesting articles (including TWB!). If your Google Reader content isn't enough, follow Bryan and you'll get some articles to read to keep busy. He also has the revolutionary idea to take Josh Freeman in the first round of fantasy football this year. I dunno, he might be onto something...

Shane Helms Should Leave Social Media

For your own good, shut up.
Photo Credit: Share TV

"TMZ, a site that profits off the mistakes and downfalls of human beings. How proud they must be. What a bunch of maggots." - Shane Helms, post Matt Hardy's arrest, via Twitter

I read both reports TMZ released about Matt Hardy's arrest and firing from Impact Wrestling. Believe you me, I have no great love for the Thirty Mile Zone, but there's no doubt that sometimes, they do good reporting. This is one of those cases. I get that Helms wants to defend a friend from attack, and believe me, there are some baseless attacks on Hardy out there, but at the same time? He doesn't seem to treat the trolls any differently from people who have constructive criticisms.

"I'm just saying don't JUDGE someone you DON'T EVEN KNOW over a situation that YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT! Maybe worry about YOURSELF first." -- Helms.

Hmm... sounds like potentially sage advice. I think Helms should follow it himself, given that he wrote a screed about a situation he pretty much knew nothing about, at least firsthand (even if he probably does know both Matt and Nick Jackson since he worked for PWG this year).

Seriously, it's okay to pontificate about respect, but when someone shows a blatant lack of respect for innocent people (and let's not get pedantic here, just because Hardy crashed into a tree and there was no one else on the road at that exact moment doesn't mean that he magically had respect for everyone else by driving impaired), we have to shut up because it's his friend? I'm not buying that. While his intentions are probably decent, Helms just comes off terribly here because he's lashing out at the wrong people. He's acting like a know-it-all, and here's a guy who's had his share of dust-ups that seriously damage his credibility. Whether it's trying to justify the situation by bringing up the fact that he was hit by a sober driver when he was a kid or retweeting someone trying to deflect from Hardy because of the bloodshed sparked by the overthrow of Moammar Gaddafi in Libya, all he's doing is bringing more light and heat to a situation that really doesn't need any help garnering attention.

The thing about drunk driving/impaired driving is that more often than not, odds are someone who comments is someone who has been affected by it either way. One of my dad's friends got nailed for drunk driving after getting into a pretty bad accident by driving the wrong way on an exit ramp onto I-95. Admittedly, my parents were both kinda ticked at the punishment he got, which was light even looking back at it now, but all things considered, I'm glad he did have to go to jail. It turned his life around. But he still really fucked up the lives of a whole family. Other people have been impacted by a drunk driver killing or injuring people they know and love. So, I'm pretty sure that this is a situation that people know a lot about, even if they don't know Hardy personally.

"Just because you support someone doesn't mean you agree with EVERYTHING they do. It just means you're there for them." -- Helms.

I don't want to seem like a heartless asshole here. I sympathize and empathize with Helms here. He wants his friend to get better, and I think his heart may be in the right place here. That being said, his head is certainly not. If he wants to truly help his friend get better, he should stop combating with "keyboard warriors" as he's saying and really put the pressure on him to get the help he needs. Then again, are we sure Helms has gotten the help that he needs himself? I mean, he's still recovering from a nasty motorcycle accident that was caused by his own negligence through impaired operation of a moving vehicle. I'm not sure he knows that what Hardy did was wrong, because it's not clear whether he realizes what he did in the past was wrong.

That's why I feel like he needs to quit Twitter and Tumblr and focus on getting his life back into order as well as helping his friends get their affairs in a row. Three of them have problems (counting Jeff Hardy in this bunch as well) with substance abuse, and if they don't help themselves and help each other, they're going to hurt someone real bad, whether it's themselves or someone innocent. Stop worrying about "the dirtsheets". Stop worrying about "respect". Stop worrying about "having boundaries". Stop worrying about your careers. Start worrying about your health.

Until then, all they're doing, Helms especially it seems, is riling up people for no other reason than to get riled up all while ignoring their own problems as they slowly claim their lives and livelihoods.

Wrestling High School, or Why I Don't Wanna Hear about Who Disrespected Whom

Centers of a firestorm that I wish I'd never known about

There's a reason this is the first time you're going to be reading about the supposed disrespect shown by the Young Bucks towards Booker T. It's the same reason why I don't follow Joey Image on Twitter anymore, or why I bristle at people who retweet his "YOU NEED TO RESPECT THE BUSINESS" BS rhetoric. I hate hearing about treating this mythical thing like the "business" with a fake layer of respect that's been propped up by guys who never fully left high school. I also don't want to hear about how people I generally like - and I like both the Young Bucks and Booker - bristle and act like assholes over feeling entitled over respect or being portrayed as disrespectful, whether right or wrong.

Granted, I haven't come to say that these wrestlers need to grow up and that they need to get out of this mold that respect is earned through tenure, not through deeds and demeanor and whatever other happy horseshit code they abide by. It's as old as wrestling itself, and hey, if that's how they want to conduct their business, then hey, good for them. I don't want Undertaker coming to my office and telling me how to conduct business there. Even if I think how they conduct their locker room code of ethics or respect or whatever is pedantic and childish, it's their business. What they do behind closed doors is what they do behind closed doors, and there's a reason why I'm an engineer and Booker Huffman and the brothers Massie both went into the wrestling business.

But that's the thing. If Booker didn't take to Twitter to put the Bucks on blast, then I wouldn't have known about it. If Rob Van Dam hadn't slammed the Bucks for "disrespect" before they left Impact, I wouldn't have known about it. If the Bucks and their brother Malachi hadn't responded in kind on social media, I wouldn't have known about it. Now, we're inundated with this wave of "he said, he said" accounts to incidents that maybe shouldn't have been big deals in the first place. Furthermore, you get Booker and Malachi carrying on to the point where I unfollowed both of them.

It's bad enough when the dirtsheets report on this kind of thing like it's news, but they can be ignored because hey, unless they have primary, neutral sources who are able to be named transparently, it can be dismissed. But when you have the people themselves taking to Twitter to fight in an attempt to curry favor with the masses, it gets right in your face, and you have to deal with the reality that people you enjoy on television can be assholes, or at the very least, they can be fool enough not to keep their dirty laundry contained within the confines of their locker room.

That's what gets me about people like Image. They want it both ways. They sanctimoniously preach about how we fans need to stop being disrespectful when we refer to wrestlers by their real names or (in what is the most hilariously preachy and wrong example) when we predict how a match is going to go, (and it's not just Image who does this, a lot of mainstream wrestlers do too) but then they carry on in public, either airing dirty laundry or weighing in on dirty laundry. I mean, if referring to a wrestler by his real name is disrespectful and invasive of their privacy, what does it say when they throw those otherwise private issues into my face? I would say that airing your own dirty laundry, or even worse, commenting on someone else's is far more damaging to this imaginary respect than would be if I referred to these men by their real names₁ (which aren't exactly secret anymore). When Shane Helms is posting passive-aggressive blogs piling on the Bucks, detailing why "RESPECT" is so important, that's giving everyone a peek into the backstage world of these people, one that by all accounts, we should not be allowed to see. So, which way should it be?

Personally, I would much rather try to stuff the toothpaste back into the tube and go back to a world where the wrestlers handled their business internally and didn't blab to interviewers or take their fight to Twitter. Especially in the case of the Young Bucks and the people they may or may not have disrespected, I don't know whose side to take, mainly because it's all based on hearsay. When you have disputes between two parties, and no one's really there to witness, that's all it is. I don't know either party in this case personally either, so why should I feel the need to judge like I do? For all I know, RVD and Booker could be onto something. For all I know, RVD and Booker could be full of shit and have really fragile egos, taking something innocent the Bucks did and misconstruing it because they feel like they're owed something. But the thing is I don't know, and I'll probably never know.

And the whole not knowing thing? I think I liked it better that way.

1 - If you take that as an explicit endorsement to refer to guys by their real names, congratulations, you've missed the point completely.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Follow Friday: The Last Five Guests I Had on the Podcast

I was going to tell you to follow William Regal today, but in all honesty, you don't need me to prod you to follow Regal, because you probably already are. From here on out, I'm probably just going to feature wrestlers you don't know or folks in the Twitterati/blogosphere who are cool and deserve your follows. Why? Because WWE really doesn't need my help getting the Twitter word out there, and they get behind everyone, from the cool guys (Regal, John Cena, Zack Ryder, CM Punk, etc.) to the utter tools (Goldust, Michael Cole etc.). So, yeah, to start the newly refreshed view on this, here are the last five guests on The Wrestling Podcast, all of whom are cool in their own way:

• Jeff Paternostro (@jeffpaternostro) - Jeff is the latest and longest-winded guest to date. When he's talkin' baseball and 'rasslin' on the Podcast, he's writing about baseball at Amazin' Avenue, the SB Nation blog about the New York Mets. His favorite things, aside from rooting for a team that crushes his very soul, are Toryumon-influenced puroresu, hipster music and the San Francisco 49ers.


• Trey Irby (@WrestlingTheory and @treyirby) - The former handle is for his wrestling related tweets and the latter is in general. Anyway, he writes the Tumblog Wrestling Theory as well as hosts a local Tuscaloosa radio show called The Long Tide. Like Paternostro, he loves his hipster music. Unlike Paternostro, he's still in school, so he's not too jaded... yet.


• Spencer Hall (@edsbs) - If you're not following the great and powerful Orson Swindle now, after all the times I've told you on here and on Twitter itself, then either you don't like college football or you're a monster who doesn't like to laugh. His blog, Every Day Should Be Saturday, is a must read for all wrestling fans, and he's great for a quirky, cracked-out-by-his-own-admission musings all year long. Today, he was getting the base riled up by posting punnish tweets with hashtags that rhyme with Internet-era portmanteau "humblebrag".


• The Great and Mysterious flubby (@flubby) - His real name redacted for professional reasons, the Flubster is one of now five members of the irreverent NFL bloggers at Kissing Suzy Kolber. While he may not post as much as his brethren there, he is worth following due to his witticisms from time to time. Plus, his Tumblr, the Sugar Sheet, and his Google Reader share-cache are really cool treasure troves of wacky .gifs and other random columns.


• Tom Kingsmill (@WetOREO)Finally, Tom is a really good real life friend of mine who lives horror, bad wrestling, television and '90s music. Visit his occasionally updated blog, Last Blog on Dead End Street, where he'll write about all kinds of stuff in the horror genre.

So there you go, your Follow Friday for this week. Follow all these people, or else I will hunt you down and maim you*

*- Not really, but follow these people anyway.

Tell Me Now, What's the Point of EVOLVE?

Post inspired by a Twitter conversation today with Sean Williams

Is the concept of EVOLVE being executed on correctly?

EVOLVE's been open for business for 20 months now, right? I was excited for the promotion from jump, and yeah, two of the three shows that I watched from it were really good. However, I'll be the first to admit that I'm an anomaly when it comes to wrestling fans. I can watch wrestling for wrestling's sake. I don't necessarily need context to enjoy a match, even if a good backstory always enhances a match for me, if that makes any sense. Most people would watch a real sport if they just wanted to see people do moves to each other all the time. I had high hopes for EVOLVE when it first started. A pure sport promotion, done right, could have been huge, could have been great.

But again, when pure sport is the only thing going for it, then it gets boring. You can tell me that whoever wins and loses matters and has meaning, but saying it and showing it are two different things. By now, I expected EVOLVE to have an endgame, a sort of thing that the wins and losses amount to. Instead, what are their metrics? What are, as KSP and Jason Mann would say, the MacGuffins? According to the mission statement, having the best record and having the longest winning streak are the only real prizes, and in the meantime, the other focus of the promotion was getting to know the "real" person.

The former to me feels like spinning wheels. Okay, you can have the best record or the most wins in an ephemeral sense, but that's just it. It's an intangible thing. Pure sport doesn't operate that way. Team sports have year long seasons. Combat sports have Championship belts. Individual sports like golf and tennis may not have tangible season long titles, but the thing is, each event isn't just a collection of head-to-head battles. They're tournaments with one winner.

But again, wrestling is not like "real" sport because it's not a sport. It has sporting elements, but in an environment where most of the fans, especially in the indies where everyone's moved past the whole "kayfabe-as-gospel" stage, know it's staged, it needs to have more pronounced stories to hold interest in a general sense. So how does that fit into a pure sports build? It doesn't mean that the stories have to be just like they are in Chikara or even in WWE, but they have to be pronounced. Even if it's chasing the right to be in a playoff system to compete for a Championship trophy to complete a season, that's a solid story right there.

I know what you're saying, a tangible Championship is no greater a story or no more tangible than a wins record or a winning streak. To a point, that's true, but only to a degree. Saying you want to win the most matches is great, or wanting to have the best record is fine, but at the same time, there's no transference. I can retire with the best record, or with the most wins, but there's no changing of the guard when I go, and that can be perfectly acceptable in the barebones scheme of things. In sport, that's okay because it's wholly results driven. In wrestling, having something be results driven is pointless because having the best record never means you're the best at what you do. It means that someone likes you or you're a great politician.

People see through that, and it's a HUGE reason why stuff like Shawn Michaels losing his smile or Impact Wrestling booking angles to strip titles so frequently go over like farts in church with many fans, hardcore or not. Stories need resolution, and in wrestling, stories need conflict. Any story where a guy can surpass another without ever facing him feels cheap. Especially when a lot of what has been used to sell tickets and DVDs for the promotion has been guest stars, from Ikuto Hidaka to Bryan Danielson to Finlay, that cheapness comes through when the main thrust of the fed isn't even the concept anymore, but the guys who come in and act as "gets" for dream matches.

Typical ROH Fan jokes on Twitter that Davey Richards leaving Gabe Sapolsky in the lurch was a big reason why EVOLVE was destined to fail. I'd say that even if Richards had stuck around, the concept would still be where it is because of the plan₁. It feels nebulous, and it feels like it's pandering to a crowd that doesn't exist, or at the very best, is small because they still like wrestling but don't realize what wrestling is all about. People who want to watch "real" watch UFC. I admit that I do want realism in my wrestling, but wanting realism and wanting it to be "real" are two way different things. I would even go to say that they're missing the point about what kind of realism they want. Again, putting on a pure sports fed where people are "real" would mean that there needed to be something to fight for more than just wins and losses or having a temporary prize like "the most wins" or "the longest streak".

I do admit that they have done some things right. The Style Battle was a neat diversion, they have done a few pretty cool - albeit short - feuds and yes, after the dreadful EVOLVE 1 card, the actual matches have been good for the most part. That being said, when there's not guiding principle at the top and too much focus is put on guest stars, things get stale and directionless.

So, 20 months in, I'm not sure it's an unfair question to ask what the point of EVOLVE is. What are they providing that isn't being provided, and are they doing it well? Even if you have an answer to the first question, I'm not sure that you can answer the second question in a positive manner. Wrestling for wrestling's sake is not an effective longterm vision for a good company, and I just don't want to see EVOLVE become just another fed that missed the boat because they were directed to a demand that just wasn't there.

1 - To be fair, so did Typical ROH Fan.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

RKO > Randy Orton?

TWB superfan and Twitter devotee John Ammentorp made this observation during SummerSlam that I thought to be very interesting:

I kinda feel like Randy Orton isn't really that over... but the RKO is.

The only reason anyone likes Orton?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's an interesting thought, but if you do look more deeply into it? Yeah, I think he might have a case. I don't want to use Smackdown as an example because they pipe in crowd noise so that guys who don't get as organic a reaction as they'd like come off as more over than they are. So let's look at PPV reactions. Thankfully enough, I saw the last two PPVs.

Both Money in the Bank and SummerSlam heard Christian getting audible chants. Chicago's reaction last month was monstrous, at least before the end of the match and the beatdown that followed. Los Angeles' reaction Sunday felt a bit more mixed, but even after Edge totally hit the dump button on his best friend, there were still really loud "LET'S GO CHRISTIAN" chants. Granted, both Chicago and Los Angeles had smark crowds going for them, ESPECIALLY Chicago, but that first city, yeah, something really weird happened that, if you think that "smark" crowds are as mindless sheep as their "casual/kid-laden" counterparts, shouldn't have happened.

Despite getting almost no positive reaction for a lion's share of the match, Orton started getting cheered like crazy when he was beating the crap out of Christian post-match, which culminated in two RKOs on top of the announce table. Those attempts at his finisher got the biggest spikes in crowd reaction of them all. It was more or less the same story in LA. Orton got a better reaction, but it didn't consolidate until he hit the RKO on Christian on the steps.

What gives? Does the RKO have special hypnotic powers that make people cheer for it? Does it suddenly make Orton more likable? Or is it that the move itself is over, and that people wait for it from Orton like crowds in that episode of The Simpsons waited for Bart to say "I didn't do it" and wanted nothing else from him but that payoff? That is an interesting question.

Adding more fuel to the fire, what's the chant that Orton usually gets? It's not "Let's go Orton!" or "Randy! Randy!" but "R-K-O! R-K-O!" It's the move that draws the aggregate crowd reaction most associated with Orton, and I feel like this has been the case since he was in front of a live crowd on a regular basis. Contrast that with Cena, who gets crowds to engage in straw referendums on every show, and you get a tale of two top guys, it seems. Even when Cena draws the "CENA SUCKS!" chants, he's the one drawing the heat, not his finisher.

Granted, two shows in front of skewed crowds and distant memories of Orton on the live show do not really make for a compelling sample size. This is a tricky question to answer, because maybe it's not the most honest question to ask in the first place. At the same time though, it does seem compelling when your supposed top guy is getting dwarfed reactions to someone who has effectively been castrated in terms of heroic value in the booking, at least in terms of reasons why we should root for him. Let's face it, whether you agree or disagree with the way they've booked Christian in the last few months, it's indisputable that his tactics are ones that most wrestling fans would disapprove of. Yet, nearly everyone in Chicago and enough fans in Los Angeles cheered him. Does Christian really inspire that much rebellion against his portrayal? And if that is the case, then what does that say of the fiber of the fans who'd turn on him at a moment's notice because he gets hit with a RKO?

Again, it's a very tricky yet a very interesting question to ask. I'm not sure it can be answered, but there's been enough circumstantial evidence to support speculation at the very least. It would be pretty wild if one of WWE's biggest heroes (along with Cena, CM Punk and Rey Mysterio) turned only to be popular because he has the shiniest toy (or in this case finisher) in the box. I don't know what that does for him going forward, but at the same time, maybe it's good that he's got something that strong to hang his hat on.

I Want Seth Mates to Book the Punk/Trips Storyline

Under Mates' plan, we'd see a lot more Big Sexy
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Seth Mates is a former WWE Creative Team member. He took to Twitter to criticize the main angle with CM Punk, Triple H, Kevin Nash and such as "messy", saying simplicity is the key. He then went into how he'd book the whole thing. It's really quite brilliant. Here are the links to his Tweets, and here's the whole thing transcribed:

Here's a thought on where I'd go with the story, if these are the pieces in place. Reveal Nash as the Raw GM and bring in HBK for SmackDown. Keep Stephanie as HHH ally. Then [d]o a seg w/HHH, Nash, Michaels, Steph in ring. HHH cuts promo about Shane leaving WWE, Linda running for Senate (ha!), Vince pushed out, then HHH says "and now plan comes to fruition. After years, I have what I need - the company is mine. And Stephanie - you're fired! Story is, HHH/Michaels/Nash been collaborating for years to screw McMahons & steal [the] company, strategically getting rid of 1 McMahon at a time, [l]eading up to HHH firing his own wife and taking full control with each of his buddies running one of the shows. They mess with Punk b/c he represents everything they hate -- and he becomes the white knight and savior of company.

Yeah, that may be fantasy booking, but it's good fantasy booking from a guy who used to be in the business. This wouldn't be the only satisfying conclusion to the story, but I think it'd be the best way to set up a complex authority figure structure. Granted, it would very much depend on the authority figures wrestling, and HBK could balk at that. That being said, he could easily be replaced by Sean Waltman, who proved at King of Trios he could still go.

I could also see where this is problematic as well, but it has promise. I really like the way he thinks, at least regarding this angle.

Follow Friday: Thank Yous

This week, I had something lined up, but I really don't feel like writing about the wrestlers I had listed. So instead, I'm going to give shoutouts to the people who gave me Follow Friday mentions today on Twitter. Is it lazy? Maybe, but you know what? FUCK YOU IT'S MY BLOG... err... I mean, uh, here they are:

@Shake_Well - Joe Drilling of the On the Stick and Action Cast podcasts is a really cool dude. You should follow him because he's got some good POVs on wrestling (he wrote for the first Fair to Flair quarterly) and he's part of a weird cadre of Brewers fans who follow me (and I follow in kind) on Twitter. Weird.

@NateLinehan - A Boston area Twitterer, Nate is also an aficianado of The Simpsons, hot dogs and of course, wrestling. He shares the same disdain for Triple H and the same respect for the women wrestlers.

@HittheRopes - The official Twitter of the podcast by the same name, they're always a lively account to follow on Monday nights. Check 'em out!

@OkoriWadsworth - He's one of my Twitter followers who likes himself some indie wrestling and like me, doesn't see what the big deal is with Mercedes Martinez. He's also a self-proclaimed Michigan Man, though without the Michigan education

@NotTripleH - This faux-Trips paid me a pretty good compliment by calling me a very talented writer. I'm not sure what blog he's been reading... ahh, I keed, I keed. This account isn't for the weak-stomached. He says a lot of stuff that's intentionally offensive, but 99% of it is really funny, I think.

@WrestleChatNet - WCN, run by Brett Clendaniel, Jr. with writing from Jeff Peck was featured last week, but I'll feature them again. They're probably the best C&P site out there, mainly because there's no malware or viruses. Plus, they support me and post my blogs with links back. They're good friends to me over there.

@wrestlespective - He's just some guy.

...nah, if you guys don't know who Jason Mann is by now, then yeah, you're probably a new reader here. He's the founder and spiritual sherpa for Fair to Flair as well as the emcee of the Wrestlespective Radio podcast, which is wrapping up its SummerSlam main event series.

Guest Blog: The Top Five Wrestlers Who Are Never on Anyone's Top Five List

Taking a break from the Fave Fives today to bring a different top five list from TWB superfan Chris W. If that name doesn't sound familiar, his other Twitter handle just might. Anyway, he's not all quips and wrong humor; he's actually got a pretty stout mind when it comes to wrestling and wrestling history. Here are five entities that don't ever make it on people's top five wrestlers lists in general.

---

I started to watch professional wrestling in the fall of 1992, during a time when the World Wrestling Federation started to focus less on sports entertainment and more on wrestling. (Ironic, huh?). In ushering in the “New Generation”, Vince decided to put the WWF Championship on Bret “The Hitman” Hart. He automatically became my favorite wrestler. He didn’t have the most charisma, he wasn’t the best on the microphone; and more often than not, his promos were filled with tired clichés that often made me cringe. But I didn’t care. He was my guy. Even when he turned heel, waved the Canadian flag, and spit in the face of America, I still cheered for him.

The original Best in the World
Photo Credit: WrestlingHeritage.co.uk

Of course, we all know what happened at the end of 1997 and what transpired after he left the WWF, so I won’t get into that. But whenever someone asks me who my favorite wrestler is, or who’s the greatest of all time, my answer is “Bret Hart”. On the other hand, Bret Hart is on a lot of Top Five lists and he deserves to be; but there are so many wrestlers from the past that don’t get any recognition from today’s fans, and that’s kind of sad, (at least from my point of view). So, this is my list of the ‘Top Five Wrestlers That Are Never in Anybody’s Top Five List”. (Catchy, I know).

1. Lou Thesz – If there was anybody in the history of professional wrestling that could be considered to be the greatest, it is Lou Thesz. Not only is he the youngest World Champion of all time, (21) but he also held NWA Championship for over ten years, (combined total reigns). The National Wrestling Alliance had so much confidence in him, that he won their World title six times!, (unheard of in those days). It wasn’t just because he was trustworthy; it was because of his legit submission skills. If any other wrestler tried to ‘shoot’ on Lou Thesz in the ring, Lou Thesz would stretch the guy until his eyes popped out of his head.

If you’re a fan of such moves as the powerbomb, German suplex, STF and the Lou Thesz Press, you can thank Lou Thesz for inventing those moves. And if you’re a fan of Japanese wrestling, you can thank Lou Thesz for that, too. (Also, buy his autobiography. It might cost you a few hundred dollars, but it’s worth it!).

2. Nick Bockwinkel – When you think of some of the greatest talkers in professional wrestling, you think of such names as Mick Foley, Ric Flair, The Rock, (overrated), CM Punk and Steve Austin. But one name that’s just as good, if not better than the aforementioned, is Nick Bockwinkel. He didn’t scream or yell, he didn’t use clichés, nor did he curse just for the sake of cursing. He was calm and intelligent: using polysyllabic words that made the audience run to their dictionaries. Not to mention he had Bobby “The Brain” Heenan as a manager. How could you ask for a better combination?

And as a wrestler? He’s one of the best to step in the ring. Most of his early work came as a tag- team wrestler, but his career didn’t really begin till at the age of 40, when he defeated Verne Gagne to win the AWA World title. He would go to have classic matches with Gagne, Billy Robinson and Jerry “The King” Lawler. Even in his fifties, he was having matches with Curt Hennig that could only be classified as seven star masterpieces. And if you don’t believe me, then you’re nothing but a belligerent recalcitrant.

3. Bob Backlund – Most of you probably remember Bob Backlund as the crazy guy that snapped and took the WWF title from Bret Hart, before losing it to Kevin Nash in four seconds. Well, that’s how I remember him too. But my fascination with old school wrestlers doesn’t end with Thesz and Bockwinkel. Backlund is another one of my favorites. Not only did he hold the WWF title for almost six years, but he was an outstanding amateur/professional wrestler: having classic matches with Ric Flair, Harley Race and Antonio Inoki. (Thank GOD for YouTube). And after losing the title to the Iron Sheik in controversial fashion, he disappeared for eight years.

He made his return as the old school, babyface, who was always losing his matches, Bob Backlund decided, to borrow a quote from Owen Hart, “enough is enough and it’s time for a change”. After losing to Bret Hart in a classic wrestling match, Backlund snapped and locked Hart in the Crossface Chickenwing. And that was the beginning of one of the most entertaining heel runs in history. (I’m serious, it was fucking awesome). Aside from having the sickest submission hold ever, Bob Backlund should be in everybody’s top five. Hopefully that happens when he comes back for another WWE title run. *Fingers Crossed*

4. Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard aka The Brain Busters – Okay, so this is my list and I’m going to cheat a little. When it comes to greatest tag-teams of all time, Arn and Tully are always getting snubbed. They may not have held as many titles as Edge and Christian, or had charisma like the Road Warriors, but when it came down to tag-team wrestling, nobody did it better than Arn and Tully. I love watching a team cut off a ring and isolate a body part. They were like surgeons when they were in control of a match. And I’ve never seen a team master ring psychology better than Arn and Tully. You want to see some heat? Watch their match with Sting and Nikita Koloff. They were the backbone of the Horseman, and were just as good on the mic as they were in the ring. (I’d dare say Arn was just as good as Ric when it came to promos).

5. Dynamite Kid and Tiger Mask (Satoru Sayama) – These two were so ahead of their time that it took over ten years for American fans to catch up. No two wrestlers had better chemistry than Dynamite Kid and Tiger Mask. Their matches were beautiful. Like ballet: if ballet consisted of tiger suplexes, missile dropkicks and tombstone piledrivers. If you don’t believe the hype, then check out their matches on YouTube, or buy the “Dynamite Kid in Japan” DVD. (You can go to highspots.com for all your wrestling needs).

And that’s my top five. It may be long and poorly written, but give me a break, it’s my first blog!

Jimmy Wang Yang's Impact Paycheck Is Made of Rubber

So, Jimmy Wang Yang wrestled for Impact last month, reprising his Flying Elvis gimmick during the whole Destination X tournament for a contract. It probably was a nice, one-off payment for the wrestler who hasn't worked much in terms of visible projects in the domestic indies since being released from WWE, right? In theory it was. Turns out JWY is waiting to get paid. He sent this missive via Twitter last night:

It has been over 6 weeks since i wrestles for tna and i still havent been paid and the check that they sent me 2 weeks ago bounced WTF!!!!!

If you can't wade through the poor grasp of English (probably not his first language, so yeah, not mocking him there), then the gist is, he's playing the role of ECW employee circa 2000 and Impact is Paul Heyman, amateur accountant. His paycheck bounced and they still haven't paid him for his work.

I'm very curious to know whether his was the only check that bounced or whether others had the same problem. My guess is it was an oversight, because, good Lord, it's not like Panda Energy is wanting for cash to pay out to people who appear on the televised product of one of their subsidiary brands. There was a mistake, which happens. However, the fact that they haven't fixed that mistake yet would be troubling to someone who didn't know the history of Impact Wrestling's human resources ineptitude. It's par for the course here.

In the interest of fairness, of course, we don't know if Wang Yang is only taking to Twitter for this for a cheap plug or whether he's done anything constructive about it before taking it to social media, but c'mon now. With all the other stories that have come out about how shitty Impact is run, who are you more likely to believe, the guy complaining publicly for the first time or the company that has featured a wrestler going on food stamps and one of their Champions working at Sunglass Hut to make ends meet? Thought so.

Belated Follow Friday: Camel Clutch Blog Crew

You will be humbled
Photo Credit: CCB

For those who don't know, I blog once or so a week at the Camel Clutch Blog. It's a great site that's mostly dedicated to wrestling and MMA, but also has some sports and pop culture mixed in as well. A lot of the writers for the site are on Twitter and are cool to interact with as well.

First up is the Managing Editor and main writer of the site, Eric Gargiulo, found @CamelClutchBlog. He's a really cool guy with a very positive but fair outlook on things. He used to be in the business as CZW's TV announcer, and now he's part of our community, running one of the finest blogs on the net. He's also a big foodie, so hit him up if you want to talk about delicious things to eat.

Also on the staff are a crack collection of folks who have their own unique writing styles and the like. First up is Justin Henry, whom you can find @cynicjrh. He often has irreverent takes on any subject you want, and he's actually all over the Internet at both Wrestling News Source and WrestleCrap.

Next up is Brett Clendaniel, found @Brettley916. He's a Philly guy like the two listed above and myself, and he also runs the rumors-and-news dump site WrestleChat.Net. Yeah, I know, the rumor stuff might be what I've been railing against, but Brett's site is great for three reasons. One, no popups or malware. Two, he does post news bits from time to time that prove useful. Three, he doesn't really claim to be a news breaker, just a guy who takes what he finds on the Net and passes it along. The site itself has a Twitter, found @WrestleChatNet.

There's also Jeff Peck, who's at @TheRealJeffPeck. He's an Internet radio/podcasting machine whose site, Wheelhouse Radio, hosts the It's Still Real to Us Show, which also features Gargiulo.

Finally, Dustin Nichols is the newest writer at the blog, and you can find him @XDustinEFLX. Dustin actually has gotten himself the most notable exposure in a dubious way out of all of us thus far. He criticized Madison Rayne on week in an Impact review and got this classy response from the former Knockouts Champion:

Who said wrestlers don't take to criticism from the media well? Oh yeah, everyone. But hey, I guess you haven't been in the wrestling journalism/opinion writing game unless someone's trashed you. I have anonymous trolls. Dustin has Madison Rayne. Advantage: Dustin.

Amazing Red Gone from Impact

Via Twitter

Amazing Red, the long-time Impact wrestler who's been used very little lately, has parted ways with the company. Apparently, he got the "Creative has nothing for you" line, and he decided to head it off at the pass rather than wait around for no bookings and thus no paychecks. I was never the biggest Red fan, but he was good at Chikara's King of Trios this year. Obviously, the rumors are going to swirl about him signing with ROH, but at this point, who knows anymore.

Anyway, even if you don't agree that Red was a guy that needed to go, at least Impact is shedding some roster members. They're extremely bloated still, although given the choice, I'm sure that many Impact fans would have rather seen Rob Terry, Murphy and the Hardy Boys gone rather than Red, Jay Lethal and the Young Bucks. Them's be the breaks though...

Thank You, Johnnies

Two of the best, ever
Photo Credit: Dirty Dirty Sheets

I'm very much an adventurous wrestling fan. I will sit through anything once, whether it's the most familiar of familiar styles like a WWE main event match between John Cena and Chris Jericho, or the most arcane and unusual of the lot, like an absurd match between Survival Tobita and Mojukin Ken. When it's middling or worse, I pass on it, but when it's good, when it's really good and eye opening, then I have no choice but to really heap praise on it. It's what I do when I find something I really like.

Until Saturday and Sunday, I had very limited exposure to what English mat wrestling₁ was all about. I had seen Johnny Saint before at my first ever indie show, and I had been exposed briefly to wrestling exchanges by Colt Cabana and Nigel McGuinness before as well. However, I'd never been exposed to the full breadth of what men like Saint and Johnny Kidd could do. I likened Saturday's match to a religious experience, because it was like my eyes were opened to a whole new world of what wrestling could be like. I already had faith in what the artform could be, but that faith was bolstered by both matches that these two English legends produced, the first night by themselves and the second with the help of Cabana and Mike Quackenbush. I saw the beauty in each wristlock. I saw purity in each reversal. Hell, I even found a place in my heart for the Lady of the Lake, even though it literally had nothing about what I normally enjoy about matches about it.

After the second match, both Quack and Saint got on the microphone to thank the Philadelphia crowd for being in their words, not mine₂, such a great crowd for wrestling. I appreciated the sentiment, but again, I don't think they should have been the ones thanking us, but vice versa. So, I will take this opportunity TO say thank you to all four men for awakening me to another world of potential for wrestling to take me as a fan and critical viewer. Thank you Colt Cabana, for your antics in the second match, making it a more fun experience than it would have been without your presence. Thank you Mike Quackenbush, for putting this match together and for wanting to expose your loyal fans to as many different styles of wrestling as possible.

And thank you most to Johnny Saint and Johnny Kidd. I was honored to have been there both nights to see you two legends ply your trade, for teaching me something new about wrestling, something that I've been missing out on for years and years now. It really was an engrossing experience, and it helped cap off what has been one of the most tremendous months in wrestling history.

1 - I erroneously used the term "chain wrestling" to describe the style used by Johnnies Saint and Kidd. I linked one William Regal to my Fair to Flair piece on the match, and he admonished me for using it. So, there's your knowledge for the day; it's not chain wrestling, it's mat wrestling or just plain ol' wrestling. On a side note, how f'n cool is it that Regal read one of my blogs? REALLY COOL is the correct answer.

2 - Just to head off the anonymous commenter who thinks I get off on "patting myself on the back" at the pass.

Colt Cabana Works Smackdown Dark Match

BOOM BOOM!

Via @ukandrew on Twitter

Colt Cabana has worked in a dark match before tonight's NXT/Smackdown tapings. He wrestled against Wade Barrett, which Barrett won. He was announced as Colt Cabana, and there was an audible chant for him after the match was over.

I honestly don't want to read too much into this at all. I don't want to get my hopes up. Conversely, COLT CABANA WORKED A MATCH AT A REAL LIVE WWE EVENT AS COLT CABANA! Holy shit, this is exciting, even if we don't know what exactly is going to come from it. Hopefully, something comes out of this, because Colt on a WWE TV show would be a win, especially if the winds of change really are blowing.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Follow Friday: The Masked Man

Photo Credit: Deadspin

One of the best writers about wrestling on the Internet isn't even in our circle. His name is David Shoemaker, but you may know him better as The Masked Man, or @AKATheMaskedMan on Twitter. While you'd expect the best writing on wrestling to be done at, say, Fair to Flair (CHEAP PLUG) or what not, there's a strong case that it's being done by Shoemaker at Deadspin and Grantland, two sites that you don't normally associate with pro wrestling all the time. He just gets it.

He started out at Deadspin doing the "Dead Wrestler of the Week" in which he'd write really verbose but really beautifully constructed career retrospectives of, you guessed it, dead wrestlers. I guess you could say he's an OG when it comes to writing about wrestling in a constructive, critical way that looks at what happened on the screen rather than how much money it's making. From there, he landed a gig doing the wrestling columns at Grantland. Bill Simmons is a noted wrestling fan, so of course he was going to have someone covering it on the site. I'm glad he got Shoemaker to do it, because hey, if you're going to have someone write about wrestling on a sports journalism and opinion site that set out to raise the bar, you might as well get the best around.

Follow him on Twitter. He's not around 24/7 like some folks, i.e. me, but he when he's there, he brings insight. Great member of the Better Wrestling Journalism Group.

Follow Friday: The Travel Channel

Photo Credit: AnthonyBourdain.net

I'm a huge fan of various food shows, be it on Food Network or the Travel Channel. I like watching cooking shows, but I far prefer the ones where people go to different places and eat the various foods there. I feel like Travel Channel does that better than Food does, as they have three really cool shows with three really cool hosts, all of whom are on Twitter.

The first is Anthony Bourdain (@NoReservations), whose show No Reservations, takes him all around the globe to places domestic and foreign to try out the different cuisines and take in the different cultures. He's not just going to the big restaurants, but he's going to holes in the wall and into people's houses. He's brash and a bit rough around the edges, but that's what his appeal is. On Twitter, some of that attitude rubs off, as in the past he's gotten into verbal spats with food critics and pretended like he was the guy who stole Guy Fieri's car a few months back.

Secondly is Andrew Zimmern (@andrewzimmern), host of Bizarre Foods. As his show title suggests, Zimmern eats the weirdest, vilest or just most unconventional foods he can find. He doesn't just eat gross stuff, although if you've seen the Minnesota or Sardinia episodes where he ate lutefisk and maggot cheese respectively, you know he does go for the most reprehensible sounding stuff out there. He's very bold, and I wouldn't go near some of the stuff he's ingested, but he comes off as affable and adventurous all at the same time. On Twitter, you can find him posting about all the foods he eats, normal or otherwise, and posting about his son. Fun fact about Zimmern: he likes Ugandan swamp rat but HATES walnuts. Strange, I know.

Lastly, there's Adam Richman (@AdamRichman), whose shows Man vs. Food and Man vs. Food Nation are among the rowdiest and most popular on the network. Richman is all about chowing down on the nation's most challenging food tasks, whether it's quantity or spiciness. He once ate a 48 oz. porterhouse steak in 20 minutes on live television. That, my friends, is precision gluttony. He's mostly active nowadays live-Tweeting MvF Nation, which is where he's given up the challenges himself (doctor's orders?) to coach regular joes like you and me to take them. As noted on here before, he coached Jerry Sags on eating a plate of super hot wings. Then again, was there any doubt that Sags could do it?

It's Clobberin' Time

Whenever CM Punk comes out for a match, he cups his hands to his mouth and shouts "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!" For those who don't know what that's a reference to, well, I'm not sure I want to know you it's the catchphrase of Ben "The Thing" Grimm, only the most awesome member of the Fantastic Four. Why am I saying this? Well, because cuckolding Triple H and being a voice for the voiceless members of the WWE Universe who want Zack Ryder on TV weren't the only things Punk was doing in San Diego ComiCon. He just tweeted this message, linking to this picture:

Photo Credit: CM Punk

That was drawn by noted comic artist Josh Adams. It's pretty fucking awesome. Like, seriously fucking awesome. Like, if I wasn't having a kid in two months and didn't feel like changing my laptop wallpaper more than once before the end of the year, I'd totally make this my laptop wallpaper right now.

Some Real Fantasy Booking with CM Punk!

Punk, the conquering hero of SEVERAL realms!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So, CM Punk may be unemployed right now, but he's still defending the WWE Championship. Monday, he announced an impromptu title defense against a very formidable Japanese challenger:

On my couch. About to put the title on the line against Piston Honda.

Okay, Hiroshi Tanahashi or any other New Japan star it wasn't but hey, that Honda Rush has taken out many an unwitting fighter. Just ask Little Mac. Anyway, we haven't gotten any spoilers on whether that match was a success for Punk or not (WHERE ARE THE DIRTSHEET REPORTERS WHEN YOU FUCKING NEED THEM), but I can only assume it was a success since he was seen with the title later that evening at Wrigley Field.

This begs the question, what other places will Punk show up to defend the title? We all thought that it would be ROH or NJPW or some other indie or foreign fed, but now, with this first title defense out of the way, it's time to start lining up some of his next defenses. Unless he shows up next week to interrupt the Miz/Rey match, then I'm guessing he's out for awhile, and while he deserves a vacation, I'm not so sure he can stay still for that long of a time. So, in the spirit of that first defense, here's some fantasy booking in the truest sense of the word fantasy...

- First defense, Punk vs. Mario in a Mushroom Kingdom Madness match, which is like a Falls Count Anywhere match using warp pipes to go to the different areas. It's set up in a tag match between Punk and Mario against Bowser and Jimmy Jacobs, when Punk turns on the Italian plumber, disagreeing with his use of performance enhancing fungi. The match of course ends with Punk winning, hitting a Go to Sleep on Mario after distracting him by laying down some warp pipe on Peach.

- CM Punk vs. Tyrion Lannister. Not in a wrestling match, but in a contest to see who can slap the shit out of Joffrey the most.



That will never, ever get old.

- Harry Potter vs. Lord Voldemort. What does this have to do with Punk? Well, Harry's Petronus is Punk. The most powerful one there is, I might add.

- Punk vs. Chuck Norris in a battle to claim the outlandish meme. Punk quits, because he doesn't want to be associated with the lameness.

- Punk travels to the void to do battle with Randy Savage in a match that would make the Internet explode. Savage would obviously have the match won with the flying elbow, but as a courtesy to Punk, he gets himself disqualified because he has no need for mortal Championship belts in the afterlife. Plus, he prevented the fucking Rapture. That's all the recognition the Macho Man needs.

- Punk joins the cast of Next Food Network Star midseason. He wins the whole competition with his GTS Pizza, then has a three way with Rachael Ray and Giada de Laurentiis, using EVOO as the lubricant. Highest ratings in network history. Guy Fieri's head explodes, causing @DangerGuerrero to celebrate like the Rebel Alliance just blew up the Death Star outside of Endor.

- Punk visits the LOST island and wrestles the Smoke Monster to a time limit draw. Even fantasy characters from totally fictional TV shows have their political chicanery.

Yeah, so that's a lot of fantasy booking for one night. The possibilities are endless, almost infinite. There's just so much Punk can do before ending his vacation and coming back to claim his rightful throne as King BAMF of WWE.

NOTE: I was not on drugs during this post. I SWEAR.

Do You Want Wrestling?

Pictured: Wrestling.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Gabe Sapolsky posted his daily question on Facebook today, asking what people thought about RAW. The first comment was someone complaining about there being a lack of skits and backstage segments, implying that there was too much wrestling. It's funny, because the Sapolsky crowd usually is the one that's hashtagging #IWantWrestling on Twitter like it's their jobs. Then again, I have no idea whether this JP Ham fellow is part of that crew, but then again, he wasn't the only one. A lot of people were bemoaning the lack of segments on social media from what I saw. Some of them were calling the show boring before the show even began. One of those people was Sapolsky himself.

Yeah, the guy, who apparently is one of the godfathers of this push to want more wrestling saw that CM Punk wasn't going to be on the card and decided he was going to watch baseball instead. I guess he only wants wrestling if he's promoting it, which is fine, I guess. At the same time, to call a show boring before it even starts, one that was actually full of this thing called "wrestling", seems dishonest to me, especially among the fans, who don't have a monetary stake in wrestling and who proclaim to watch the product to be happy and be entertained.

So, when they get what they want, why are they clamoring for the status quo? I mean, there were seven matches last night, six if you don't want to count that Divas match and if you don't, I won't blame you. The only competitor in those six matches who was overexposed at this point was Rey Mysterio, and he had two borderline great matches with Dolph Ziggler and then R-Truth. The Miz worked babyface perfectly albeit possibly unintentionally. Kofi Kingston got to defeat Alberto del Rio and then cut a promo afterwards. This was everything that "we"₁ wanted. So why are there those among us who shit on the main event thrust of the show? It's the reason why we can't have nice things.

Granted, I know why people do this kind of thing. They're trolls, or they like complaining. I get it, but it's just frustrating, especially when that crowd for weeks says WWE doesn't give you wrestling. Two days in a row, two shows in a row, it was nothing but wrestling in the spotlight. I dunno.

But I'll tell you this. If you really want wrestling, then you're not going to comment on social media that there's too much wrestling on a wrestling show. There's no such thing as too much wrestling.

1 - "We" in quotes to poke fun at the stereotype that the Internet Wrestling Community has a hive-mind and thinks alike, disproven a clause later.