Mission Accomplished!: How Zack Ryder Became a DIY Huge Star

Zack Ryder, searching for this week's Broski of the Week?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Zack Ryder finally arrived last night.

After months and months of rallying the WWE fans to put pressure on the company to give the man more of a platform to shine, Ryder got his ultimate reward in a video package, a spotlight position in a tag match as Jerry Lawler's partner against the Newish Nexus, badgering from Michael Cole and the pinfall victory with his finisher. Unlike other darlings of the Internet, Ryder did all this to massive applause. Those cheers have been there since the Long Island RAW where Ryder wasn't to be seen anywhere but on Superstars, and finally the attention from the front office has caught up to the fan reaction.

The biggest thing that this proves is that maybe, just maybe, WWE is wising up to the fact that it's not just "their" vision that creates stars. Ryder was unhappy with the amount of time on TV he had and the lack of merchandise that was being made for him, so he made a Youtube show and built a grassroots rapport with fans who already were supporting him from having watched him on ECW. Those fans spread the word, and Ryder himself found his coworkers who already liked him and what he was doing becoming more and more vocal about him needing more time to shine. Suddenly, Ryder had a groundswell of emotional investment that manifested itself through Dolph Ziggler after he did not appear on the main RAW telecast in his hometown. The "boys" and the fans have been two groups of people whose opinions really only seemed to matter when they fell in line with what WWE wanted to present recently. While there seems to be a sea change in that kind of thinking that has manifested itself through CM Punk, the Divas of Doom, Christian and even Mark Henry, Ryder still stands out as the starkest example of how DIY can work in WWE.

Don't make any mistakes either judging his rise, because it was as do-it-yourself as you could get in the corporate machine of WWE nowadays. I think that's what makes his rise the most satisfying out of anyone's right now. He saw an opportunity to innovate how one builds character in WWE, seized it, and now, his hard work is paying off. Because of my own biases, my two favorite moments in WWE this year were both at Money in the Bank, when Daniel Bryan won his briefcase and CM Punk kissed Vince McMahon goodbye, but I think a solid third for me was last night, when Ryder got the pin with the Rough Ryder, got the crowd to explode and then got to stand with Lawler as victorious. It's a testament to how well Ryder has done for himself. He proved that the party line passed down by Steve Austin on Tough Enough and repeated by Warrior in his Randy Savage tribute as what used to be "back in the day" still works, no matter how much evidence there is right now to the contrary. If you make your own way, you will be rewarded.

For WWE to survive, I think that credo needs to be adopted by more than just Long Island Ice Z. Churning out mass-produced, dime-a-dozen bland bodybuilders isn't going to create new stars for fans to latch onto. Having guys show their creativity and get people to support them? Yeah, that's going to work. Granted, not everyone can be Ryder, but you won't know who the Ryders of the world are going to be until you give guys the platform to shine independent of the writing staff. Maybe this might mean that a guy like Johnny Curtis will be able to improv a bit instead of doing those lame visual pun segments. Maybe it means Dolph Ziggler will be able to express himself more than just through deferring to Vickie Guerrero. Maybe it means Colt Cabana gets a second chance with the company to right the wrong of his first run as Scotty Goldman. Who knows at this point.

But what I do know is that last night, Ryder finally was made and finally at least earned his spot with the company for as long as they'll have him. WWE could do something stupid like not feature him ever again, but at this point, why would they? The guy can be a huge star for them, and I think the treatment he got last night was indicative of the fact that they know he can be huge for them.

And that makes his run last night the most satisfying thing to happen on the entire telecast. I think it's safe to say that Zack Ryder has finally made it, and I couldn't be happier.

Instant Feedback: Bearded Giraffes

I didn't expect anything major to happen tonight, being that holiday RAWs rarely ever do anything. I was somewhat wrong, at least towards the beginning of the show, although the end reinforced the notion that nothing ever happens except for standard "faces win out" on these kinds of shows. I guess that's why I could palate John Cena standing tall over both Jack SWAGGAH and Alberto del Rio here. There would be plenty of time next week when more people presumably are watching to give del Rio some shine. Plus, the context surrounding the Swagger counter and tap was pretty good. In the main event, they managed to further one of my favorite stories, Dolph Ziggler and SWAGGAH's rivalry for the affections of Vickie Guerrero. del Rio, who was the other star of the show through his Sean O'Haire-esque backstage segments trying to rally troops to do his bidding for him, played into that as well, planting seeds into Ziggler's head about what Swagger's true intentions for Vickie were. Lost in the trailers for shitty movies and the Triple H/Kevin Nash/CM Punk top storyline spinning wheels, there's a really good midcard angle going on here.

That being said, when one top storyline is glossed over and the other gets the standard SuperCena Über Alles ending, it might seem like a terrible RAW. Let's look at the former now. The show started off with a lacking start, even though Punk did his best to save it. I thought he was much better actually wrestling, which people seem to discount because of the whole PIPEBOMB shtick. We know he's great on the mic, but when he gets people to care about a match with R-Truth that doesn't have a whole lot of context around it other than "Hey, he wrestled his tag partner last week", then that's mastery. I do like Punk's paranoia here concerning Trips' intentions towards Nash, but I think a lot of the peripheral stuff has come off pretty badly. One, the narrative still has Punk coming off as, well, a punk to some of the audience. Two, Trips putting his COO position on the line so soon into the narrative? Maybe I can dig it, but it feels too soon for me, even if I feel like the match itself isn't too soon. Third, if Nash is really gone (and with him getting in Funkhauser's limo in the second segment means he's not, more than likely), then it's been spinning wheels since his reintroduction at SummerSlam. Four, there is no four, only Zuul. Finally, the payoff that Nash was the one who sent the text was lame. Like, beyond lame. It pretty much insisted that he's a main player when he's not, and really, no one watching the show for the last three months buys that Trips, if he's a fair arbiter (and to their credit, he has been portrayed as such), is going to choose a guy who showed up, waltzed in and gave an ultimatum over the guy who has sold out a shit-ton of t-shirts and gotten Trips a lot of positive press, if we can blur the lines between kayfabe and "real" for a moment.

Also, I couldn't help but smile at the video package for Zack Ryder, and letting him get the win to a deafening pop was proof enough for me that the guy has arrived and that the fans do have a voice. When Michael Cole is ripping on a guy, you know they've arrived. Ryder's exuberance with Cena afterwards was really cool too, almost like it was as real as it was supposed to be part of the narrative. I really like a good success story. That being said, the pretense behind the match, that Lawler doesn't like David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty because they have "no charisma", is starting to grate on me. I think I see what all these people who think that "personality" is a funny thing to kayfabe feud over.

Also, the sooner they get Eve out of an active wrestler role, the better. Beth Phoenix may have flubbed the Glama-Slam, but she at least looks like a pro wrestler in there. Eve does not. I do find it funny though that they're using that Katie Raymond article as a talking point on TV. Again, K. Sawyer Paul is a guru at this kind of thing. Speaking of people who shouldn't be on camera? Jinder Mahal and Great Khali suck out loud in the ring. Not even Evan Bourne's masterful bumping could make them look good. Also, when Heath Slater and Randy Orton is a RAW match? Well, let's backtrack on that. It was a decent match. And I get the reasoning for it. However, it's something that might have been better suited for Superstars. Then again, what match would replace it? A Mark Henry squash? No better. Eh, I guess I can't complain, especially since Orton, I feel, has started becoming more comfortable wrestling as a good guy. I really like that he's actually setting up spots, especially his stump DDT, rather than, oops, guy's on the apron, let's drag him in and DDT him. Forcing the setup just looks cool.

But if we're going back to the wrestling, the main event tag match was as good a wrestling match as you'll get on a RAW main event. Just excellent pacing and storytelling all around. I liked the interplay between Ziggler and Swagger, the fact that Swagger got to attain beast mode early on, Sheamus taking out centuries of Irish frustration on the proxy for English oppression, Wade Barrett, and especially the spot where Christian's slap enraged Sheamus so much that it got both of them counted out. Really solid action for a show that was actually better than the impression I gave off on Twitter tonight. It was very much a holiday RAW, but it was a somewhat well-executed holiday RAW. It had its flaws, but I enjoyed it for the most part.

The Miz: Master of the Beatdown

Miz, doing one of the things he does exceedingly well
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The Miz doesn't really get high marks across the board when it comes to his wrestling in the ring. I think he's above average, but at the same time, he's behind probably ten workers in WWE when it comes to being an elite wrestler. That's not really a knock on him, seeing as the WWE right now is loaded with so many good workers. I won't really say it's unprecedented, because I'm sure there's a point in the '80s where they had a lot of really good in-ring guys, but that's not the point.

There is an area of physicality where I feel Miz is the best in the WWE and possibly the whole industry. Whenever he's called upon to beat someone down in a sneak attack, you know it's going to be a vicious, effective segment. We saw this a lot during the feud with Jerry Lawler. He'd come out of the crowd, burst out of nowhere and just waylay the King, laying hard-looking punches and forearms, throwing him into the rail, stomping him, just brutalizing him.

That came into play again Monday night, when he beat down Rey Mysterio before their scheduled match. Again, Miz came off looking like a feral animal, charging after Mysterio like he owed him money. A lot of that was Mysterio bumping and making Miz look like a million bucks, but you can't tell me that the look in Miz's eyes when he charged in and stomped Mysterio's head against with all the force of a thousand Clydesdales didn't convey pure hatred. Much like commenter uconngary7 said on the Instant Feedback post Monday night, Miz "looked like he wanted to end Rey's life". That's not really something you can teach. It's dedication to the craft. It's surrendering yourself to the character and performing at a high level whether you're main eventing WrestleMania or you're doing basic storyline stuff that in effect takes your rumored match off the card of the second or third biggest event on the calendar.

You people rag on me for my Miz praise all the time (you people, what do you mean you people?), but it's stuff like his knack for really going the extra mile when he has to go out and beat the crap out of someone in a sneak attack, the facial expressions, the vigor at which he performs the most basic-seeming stomps that add to my admiration for him. He's a rare example of a guy who has natural talent and who tries hard to make sure that every time he's on screen, you remember him. Personally, I think he does a damn good job at it.

When Announcers Stop Caring: Why Taz and Jerry Lawler Actively Hurt Their Products

"Not for nuttin' Tenay, but I ain't got
the slightest clue what's goin' on!"
Photo Credit: ImpactWrestling.com

I get why people don't like Michael Cole anymore. Trust me, I do, and I'm actually there myself. I hate that he talks over guys like Jim Ross or Josh Mathews who are passionate about trying to get the stories and the action in the ring over. He's entertaining at times, yes, but increasingly he's becoming more and more of a nuisance and a caricature rather than being the guy who tells the truth (which is really where heel color commentators excel... Bobby Heenan and Jesse Ventura ALWAYS told the truth, no matter how sordid it was).

That being said, I'll still take him over Jerry Lawler any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

I also get why people hate on Mike Tenay. I've been doing it ever since I started the blog (unless I was talking about his run in WCW as the knowledgeable foreign wrestling analyst, which was GREAT). A play-by-play announcer shouldn't have the level of knowledge that a regular mark fan does. It's okay to be surprised every once in awhile, but announcers are there to show a little bit of authority at least. Tenay doesn't show that. Plus I hate his tendencies to call moves by their abbreviation and then saying the words right after.

That being said, he's leagues better to me than his broadcast partner Taz. LEAGUES.

I can stomach bad announcing, even if it grates on me. Fine, you have annoying habits, or you call my favorite wrestler "boring". I can deal with that. But the one thing I really can't stand is not giving a shit. Seriously, how hard is it to be enthusiastic about selling the product you're calling? The announcer's job is to make sure things are conveyed and that there's a sense of excitement attached to the things happening in the ring. Generally speaking, if the guy who's there calling the action is apathetic, then why the hell should I feel anything other than malaise? Even worse, if the announcer can't be assed to pay attention to what's going on in the storylines, then why should I?

Big example of this occurred on Impact Thursday. Sting had told Immortal that he was a network executive just so he could cause some shenanigans during the telecast. Towards the end of the show, before the steel cage main event between Kurt Angle and Ken Anderson, Sting revealed that he lied about being an exec, causing a great bit of consternation amongst the main heel faction. There was a big deal made about it by Tenay and to an extent Taz. Minutes later, Taz made note that Sting made the match because he was a network exec. I can only imagine Tenay's off-camera facepalm was epic at the stunning lack of attention paid by Taz. The worst thing about it is that it happened on a taped show. They could have cut that audio out. Then again, it is Impact.

It's the same reason why I can enjoy Booker T even if he has obvious flaws. It doesn't take a critical analyst to tell that Booker really gets into calling the action, and even if his knowledge lacks sometimes, or he states the obvious or he doesn't have the snappy comeback to put Cole in his place, he has a joyful exuberance that makes him a million times better to listen to then even some technically "good" announcers. He makes me want to get into the match he calls.

Why can't WWE and Impact see that? I mean, Lawler is an iconic name, and Taz used to work for WWE, so obviously, he's gold in the eyes of Dixie and Co. But those are things that shouldn't determine who your broadcast team is. Diamond Dallas Page is also an iconic name, but he also seems to be a guy who'd jump at the chance to sit next to JR on RAW and call action. Booker's an iconic name, and he knows how to sell sizzle. Adam Pearce is an iconic name at the indie level, and when he got behind the mic in NWA Hollywood, he was perhaps the guy who did the best job out of anyone who called matches for them. It's not mutually exclusive to be a good broadcaster and a big name.

The broadcast booths of the mainstream wrestling companies need enemas. Even if a guy like Cole is kept, as irritating as he is, at least he gets behind his character. If he stayed and Lawler left, I'd be super happy. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be alone either.

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 13: flubby of KSK

Jar of Superflies

The immortal Flubby of Kissing Suzy Kolber is my guest this week. We talk NFL football, fantasy football, bourbon, Randy Savage, old school Memphis wrestling and I insult his profession. Thankfully, he didn't hang up on me right there. Some good fantasy football advice and we talk some trash about Tennessee and their inferior whiskey. Give it a listen.

Note, the end got cut off, and before I could add it back in in post, my mic died. So just imagine me saying "Thank you for listening, and tune in next week when I'll have... another guest!" DO IT FOR YOUR OWN SANITY!

Direct link for download

Vickie Guerrero Is the Hottest Woman in WWE

Rrrawr
Screen Grab Credit: WWE.com

Okay, so maybe the title is hyperbole, especially since Layla still is under contract despite being out with injury, and Maryse still appears on TV. That being said, I'm not sure how realistic their body types are. Sure, they're not as bad as Kelly Kelly, who sometimes looks like they slapped implants on a beanpole, but at the same time, they're hot but they're hot in the way Kate Upton is hot, in a way that almost doesn't seem real or attainable to the average person.

Then there's Vickie Guerrero.

When she came out seconding Dolph Ziggler last night, I was stunned by how goddamn attractive she looked (from the neck down of course). It's an every week occurrence, magnified especially since Vince McMahon feels it necessary to tell Jerry Lawler he has to say she's a fat cow. The opposite is the case, but that's never stopped WWE from toeing a party line that the unattainable is the only thing acceptable.

The fact that a 40+ year old woman was able to shed all that weight, work out and have one of the tightest bodies in the company astounds me, and I'm not alone. I'd say that she should be a good guy success story, but she's way, way, WAY too good at making people boo her. So yeah, it's cool either way. At the same time though, I think she needs to be celebrated for becoming a cougar and doing it in a way where she's real at the same time. Her look is not unattainable, and it doesn't feel like it is either. I think that's what heightens her appeal to me.

So yeah, I don't think I'm too far off when I say she's one of the hottest women in WWE right now. She definitely has the most realistic body type out of all the women there. And for a widowed mother of two over the age of 40 who makes her living at getting people not to like her, that's a damn impressive accomplishment.

Vickie Guerrero Is Totally Not Fat, Pt. 25,193

Pictured: Not Fat
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Monday night, Jerry Lawler was at it with the fat jokes on Vickie Guerrero again. The outcry predictably came from Twitter, and yeah, it was like shouting into the abyss. That wasted breath was made compounded because in a recent interview, she stated the fat jokes didn't bother her:

They really didn’t bother me. Well, I guess they did to an extent, but not to where I was feeling bad about myself. It was who I was. We have beautiful women that work with us, and when I was in the locker room with them and we’re dressing and stuff, I would look at them and be like, ‘Oh, this is ridiculous. I’m going to change.’ I wanted to feel good being a part of their group and to live a lifestyle that was going to be promoted with the WWE. Now when they say the jokes, it’s like, ‘Whatever.’ [laughs] The jokes have helped grow my character to what it is. I just kind of roll with it and leave it behind me when I leave the arena. Again, there's the character and then there's the real person. You can't take what's going on at work personally.

Okay, so she does it for the character. I get it, it doesn't offend her much any more. The fact that she's feels an inkling of intimidation or shame is bad, but let's pretend that the shame is negligible. She's not offended by fat-shaming.

Well, I am, and I'm not the only one.

See, like Vickie Guerrero, I lost a shitpile of weight over the last year or so. I started out my journey at 336 lbs. I'm down to 265 lbs. It took a lot of work. The fact that Vickie lost all that weight, and quite frankly looks AMAZING, is a testament of will and should be commended. Instead, an old pervert calls her fat in order for her to gain heel heat. The fact that she's NOT fat is not only insulting to her, but it's insulting to our intelligence.

And in case you haven't noticed, Vickie can garner heel heat just by opening her mouth. She doesn't need to be fat-shamed. And if Vickie truly isn't offended by the fat jokes, she should be. Again, she worked hard. Fifty-two pounds is no joke. To allow Lawler (or really, Vince McMahon since the order probably comes from him) to call her fat belittles all the work she did to take the weight off.

It's especially asinine now that WWE is involved in this anti-bullying campaign. The face is the bully, and a woman who took off all that weight is now portraying the message that it's okay to insult people for being fat, even if they aren't. It's stupid.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Adam West Pays Jerry Lawler a Visit - Classic Clip

Before he was elected the mayor of Quahog, RI, Adam West enjoyed a memorably campy run as Batman on television. As gritty and realistic as Christian Bale's Batman is, well, if you take the polar opposite of that, you have West's. He paid a visit to Memphis to try and confront the "Evil King" there, and, well, he got Jerry Lawler dressed as Superman.

In a related note, if Jerry Lawler is SuperKing, does that mean barely legal girls are his kryptonite? *low blow*

Video found by friend of TWB Robert Lamb!

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Mixed Messages: Why Jerry Lawler Shouldn't Be Calling out the Bella Twins

The wrong messenger
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So yeah, the Bella Twins came out and interrupted Kharma's heartfelt speech about her pregnancy on RAW, throwing insults at her like she was fat and disgusting and all that jazz. While this might have thrown me for a loop a couple of years ago, now, it doesn't bother me as much, given that the Bellas are faces, and Kharma will become a sympathetic babyface out of this... well, as sympathetic a babyface as a destructive monster-type wrestler can be. Obviously, someone in the announce booth had to step up for decency and common sense, right? They did. It was Jerry Lawler.

I have a HUGE problem with that.

You see, it's not because someone came to Kharma's verbal aid. Honestly, the babyface narrative SHOULD be that this kind of bullying is wrong and shouldn't be tolerated. However, Lawler is about as far down the list of guys delivering that message as you can get in WWE, next to John Cena and about every other heel in the company. Why? Just earlier in the broadcast, Lawler was making mean-spirited comments about Vickie Guerrero's weight. Yeah, they were tame compared to what he was saying about six months ago, but yeah, those comments alone would have made Lawler not the guy to deliver the message.

There's such a thing as moral authority. Lawler doesn't have it. You can't say that fat-shaming is wrong in one case, but it's alright in another. It's not a case of joking around either. Lawler and Cena spent a whole segment making fat jokes at Vickie because, in their minds, she wasn't a good person. She did abuse power, but at the same time, she obviously wasn't fat, and on Monday, it appeared as if she'd lost even MORE weight from November. But Lawler still made cracks.

In this culture of unrealistic portrayals of what bodies should look like, being called fat when you have the body type Vickie Guerrero has can those who may not be the most stable-minded into a destructive spiral towards anorexia. Granted, the people targeted do bear some responsibility to know what body types are healthy and not to let what other people think about them bother them, but at the same time, WWE is promoting this anti-bullying campaign (which laughably, the Bellas are spokespeople for) where they're trying not to get people to act that way. They're talking out of both sides of their mouth. It's stupid, and they should definitely be called out for it.

There are definitely different ways that Lawler could get heat on Vickie than fat-shaming her. If he were more noble in that endeavor, then yeah, maybe he could have spoken up, but he wasn't. The fact is, he was the last person who should have been taking the Bellas to task over their bullying rhetoric.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs, Macho Week: Macho Man's Greatest Rivals

Two natural rivals going at it.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Randy Savage had an epic career. I think that's pretty much academic. However, in wrestling, you don't have a great career solo. You need to have guys to play your foil, or guys you play foil to. Savage had some great feuds, and here are six of his best rivals.

1. Jerry "The King" Lawler

When Savage left his father's ICW and went to work in Memphis, you could argue he really came of age. It's natural, as Lawler's run in Memphis may have been the most important singular draw to one region, and working with him would be seasoning enough for anyone. It was here that Macho got prepared for the big time. This list really isn't in any order, but you could make the argument that Lawler may have been Savage's most important rival.

2. Ric Flair

...then again, when you feud with perhaps the most decorated and important wrestler of all-time over the WWF World Championship at WrestleMania, that counts for a lot more than going at it in a regional promotion. The first clash between Macho and Naitch was so heated, so edgy for the time. Flair claimed to have racy pictures of Elizabeth, something actually right out of the Memphis playbook actually. The interplay between the two felt so natural, so right. It was an iron they'd strike several more times in WCW, and even though they really didn't go up against each other at all until the '90s, it felt like they were rivals throughout eternity.

3. Hulk Hogan

Yes, the feud was one-sided for the most part. Yes, Savage was always portrayed as Hogan's bitch. However, Hogan and Savage were both inexorably linked if only for the Mega Powers angle and the watershed WrestleMania V match. It was a feud that lasted both in and out of character for a long time, eliciting the infamous Be a Man rap album from Macho that was somewhat of a nadir for him, but hey, no one's perfect.

4. George "The Animal" Steele

ON the total opposite end of the "importance" scale is Steele, who was more of an ancillary feud, an annoyance than a legitimate feud. I mean, he was a big doddering, slobbery beast, and he basically lusted after Liz like King Kong did after Fay Wray. But in a way, he was the perfect foil for Savage and Liz as a couple. What better way to accentuate the fact that Macho really didn't deserve Liz than having this slovenly old man, a slovenly old man who was a super fan favorite, creeping after her?

5. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

This is a no-brainer. I think Bill Simmons hit the nail on the head in his excellent Savage tribute column today. Wrestling's peak kinda began with Savage crushing Steamboat across the larynx, and their match at WrestleMania III was THE first ever WM marquee match. Seriously, Shawn Michaels as Mr. WrestleMania? Austin and Hart? Taker and Trips this past year? Hart vs. Hart? It was a tradition begotten with this match. It arguably made the Intercontinental Championship, and thus it's a rivalry that belongs on this list.

6. Diamond Dallas Page

This was his signature WCW-only feud, but man, what an intense and critically acclaimed one it was. These two went at it, and it really did a lot to make DDP, much in the way that feuds with Steamer and Hogan made Savage in the '80s. You really got the feeling that both guys were looking to kill each other. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were both probably somewhat legitimately crazy, but hey, that always adds to a great feud.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!