Instant Feedback: Bearded Giraffes

I didn't expect anything major to happen tonight, being that holiday RAWs rarely ever do anything. I was somewhat wrong, at least towards the beginning of the show, although the end reinforced the notion that nothing ever happens except for standard "faces win out" on these kinds of shows. I guess that's why I could palate John Cena standing tall over both Jack SWAGGAH and Alberto del Rio here. There would be plenty of time next week when more people presumably are watching to give del Rio some shine. Plus, the context surrounding the Swagger counter and tap was pretty good. In the main event, they managed to further one of my favorite stories, Dolph Ziggler and SWAGGAH's rivalry for the affections of Vickie Guerrero. del Rio, who was the other star of the show through his Sean O'Haire-esque backstage segments trying to rally troops to do his bidding for him, played into that as well, planting seeds into Ziggler's head about what Swagger's true intentions for Vickie were. Lost in the trailers for shitty movies and the Triple H/Kevin Nash/CM Punk top storyline spinning wheels, there's a really good midcard angle going on here.

That being said, when one top storyline is glossed over and the other gets the standard SuperCena Über Alles ending, it might seem like a terrible RAW. Let's look at the former now. The show started off with a lacking start, even though Punk did his best to save it. I thought he was much better actually wrestling, which people seem to discount because of the whole PIPEBOMB shtick. We know he's great on the mic, but when he gets people to care about a match with R-Truth that doesn't have a whole lot of context around it other than "Hey, he wrestled his tag partner last week", then that's mastery. I do like Punk's paranoia here concerning Trips' intentions towards Nash, but I think a lot of the peripheral stuff has come off pretty badly. One, the narrative still has Punk coming off as, well, a punk to some of the audience. Two, Trips putting his COO position on the line so soon into the narrative? Maybe I can dig it, but it feels too soon for me, even if I feel like the match itself isn't too soon. Third, if Nash is really gone (and with him getting in Funkhauser's limo in the second segment means he's not, more than likely), then it's been spinning wheels since his reintroduction at SummerSlam. Four, there is no four, only Zuul. Finally, the payoff that Nash was the one who sent the text was lame. Like, beyond lame. It pretty much insisted that he's a main player when he's not, and really, no one watching the show for the last three months buys that Trips, if he's a fair arbiter (and to their credit, he has been portrayed as such), is going to choose a guy who showed up, waltzed in and gave an ultimatum over the guy who has sold out a shit-ton of t-shirts and gotten Trips a lot of positive press, if we can blur the lines between kayfabe and "real" for a moment.

Also, I couldn't help but smile at the video package for Zack Ryder, and letting him get the win to a deafening pop was proof enough for me that the guy has arrived and that the fans do have a voice. When Michael Cole is ripping on a guy, you know they've arrived. Ryder's exuberance with Cena afterwards was really cool too, almost like it was as real as it was supposed to be part of the narrative. I really like a good success story. That being said, the pretense behind the match, that Lawler doesn't like David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty because they have "no charisma", is starting to grate on me. I think I see what all these people who think that "personality" is a funny thing to kayfabe feud over.

Also, the sooner they get Eve out of an active wrestler role, the better. Beth Phoenix may have flubbed the Glama-Slam, but she at least looks like a pro wrestler in there. Eve does not. I do find it funny though that they're using that Katie Raymond article as a talking point on TV. Again, K. Sawyer Paul is a guru at this kind of thing. Speaking of people who shouldn't be on camera? Jinder Mahal and Great Khali suck out loud in the ring. Not even Evan Bourne's masterful bumping could make them look good. Also, when Heath Slater and Randy Orton is a RAW match? Well, let's backtrack on that. It was a decent match. And I get the reasoning for it. However, it's something that might have been better suited for Superstars. Then again, what match would replace it? A Mark Henry squash? No better. Eh, I guess I can't complain, especially since Orton, I feel, has started becoming more comfortable wrestling as a good guy. I really like that he's actually setting up spots, especially his stump DDT, rather than, oops, guy's on the apron, let's drag him in and DDT him. Forcing the setup just looks cool.

But if we're going back to the wrestling, the main event tag match was as good a wrestling match as you'll get on a RAW main event. Just excellent pacing and storytelling all around. I liked the interplay between Ziggler and Swagger, the fact that Swagger got to attain beast mode early on, Sheamus taking out centuries of Irish frustration on the proxy for English oppression, Wade Barrett, and especially the spot where Christian's slap enraged Sheamus so much that it got both of them counted out. Really solid action for a show that was actually better than the impression I gave off on Twitter tonight. It was very much a holiday RAW, but it was a somewhat well-executed holiday RAW. It had its flaws, but I enjoyed it for the most part.

Your Midweek Links: Oops, I Think Ric Flair Just Sued Us Again

Flair, lawsuit happy as ever!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week!

Self-Shilling:

- Me, Butch Rosser and Ken Borsuk get silly and fantasy cast a WWE Films remake of Blazing Saddles, among other things, on the podcast this week. [Episode 17: Mellow Goldust]

- Why do we care about ratings? My latest Fair to Flair piece [Why Do We Care About Ratings?]

- Calling Impact to the carpet for their lack of action concerning a true drug policy. Latest Camel Clutch Blog piece. [TNA Impact Needs to Do More than Just Fire Matt Hardy]

Wrestling Links:

- Shane Ryan writes a long history of the decline of Ric Flair. In response to this, Flair is attempting to file a lawsuit. America! [Grantland]

- We Watch Wrestling on why they watch wrestling. [We Watch Wrestling]

- Razor's Super Smackdown running blog [Kick-Out!! Wrestling]

- And hey, his running RAW blog too! [Kick-Out!! Wrestling]

- Best and Worst of RAW for this week, including the best description of a dirtsheet ever. [With Leather]

- Jeff Peck argues it's time to end brand extension permanently [Camel Clutch Blog]

- A return of the New World Order? Editorial note: Jeez, I really fucking hope not. Let it die. [Cageside Seats]

- A treatise on the nWo music. [International Object BONUS PODCAST: Int'l Object, Ep. 30 w/ David Shoemaker]

- Jason Mann discusses his quest to discover the essential WWE matches from 2011 thus far. [Wrestlespective]

- Lioness Asuka, in her own words. [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

- Speaking of fantasy casting movies with wrestlers... [Unreality Mag]

- Tara talks about a bunch of stuff. [Diva Dirt]

- Becky Bayless talks about her departure from Impact [I Want Wrestling]

- Speaking of Impact, why Vince McMahon NEEDS to buy the company. It's not for the reason you might assume someone would urge the man to buy his "competition". [The Smoking Section]

- The newest Sin Cara? [Tom Watches Wrestling]

- Thoughts on the lucha candidates for the WON Hall of Fame [Luchablog]

- Your obligatory Hulk Hogan parody porn post [Kentucky Fried Rasslin]

- Flashing back to 1981 AWA, Nick Bockwinkel being awarded the World Title [South Atlanta Wrestling]

- Wrestling memories of the Hart Foundation [Wrestle Guy Blog]

- ROH Tag Team Turmoil DVD review [The Harrison Analysis]

Jamie Dobson Interviews:

- Kekoa the Flying Hawaiian

Non-Wrestling Links:

- Don Cheadle is CAPTAIN PLANET in this Funny or Die video. It's way better than the crappy cartoon was. [Funny or Die]

- The Phillies produce an "It Gets Better" video. I like that MLB is getting in on this. Diffuse the bullying by setting an example for the stereotypical bullies. [The Fightins]

- What the Phillies and Rays learned about BABIP. Hint, it's a statistic, not a delicious Asian treat served in stone pots. [Crashburn Alley]

- Why do the Angels keep winning? [Grantland BONUS PODCAST: Grantland Network Ep. 1]

- Castro and Plichter eat at the best pizza joint in Philly, Tacconnelli's. I co-sign their review 100000000 percent. It's that good. [Doughboys]

- The annoying things your co-workers do while eating lunch. [Bites]

- The candy of the literary world. Someone alert KSP! [McSweeney's]

- A nice recipe for chicken spring rolls, with pictures! [Cogyddes]

- That new Pioneer Woman show in Food Network is just as awful as it sounds. [Food Network Humor]

- How you can tell the weather from the forecast. Sounds about right. [The Oatmeal]

- Matt Ufford is going to dress up as Tobias Fünke and do a hellish workout for charity. Donate! Donate! And donate some more! [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

- An ode to the most thankless job in fantasy football - commissioner. [The Go Route]

- Like the Dugout? Wish they did one for the NFL? Well, wish granted. Presenting Football Guys. [SB Nation]

- Does it matter if Michael Vick is white or black? [Wide Left]

- Stuck on whom you should root for? Justin Henry's got a primer just for you. [Camel Clutch Blog]

- It's never too early for a mock draft, is it? [Huge Upside]

- The 10 most useless women in video game history. [Ranker]

- In this link, a girl who cosplays as the far-from-useless characters from the Zelda series. [Unreality Mag]

- The Department of Defense actually spends money on something called a "spiritual fitness" test? No, but let's not cut spending anywhere, ever. [Huffington Post]

- It's official, Texas A&M is gone from the Big 12. [Dr. Saturday]

- Some STONE COLD LOCKS for the upcoming college football season. [Your Best 11]

- Hey, football is starting up again. That means SHOVE IT about conference realignment. [Campus Union]

- Having the dog that wouldn't leave the side of the casket of his former owner who was killed in action in Iraq leading the football team onto the field? Someone tell U of Iowa that this needs to happen, like now. [With Leather]

- Hurricane Irene? Stop this college football game? I SAY THEE NAY. [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- Drew Magary did a live Funbag yesterday. TWB superfan TheRick711 got a question answered for it too! [Deadspin]

- Mad Libs for pro football [Sports Pickle]

- Bruce Dickinson flying people out of NYC stranded by Irene? As if the Iron Maiden frontman couldn't get any cooler... [UPROXX]

- 10 bands who overcame questionable debuts. Sort of the opposite of bands like Creed (fuck you, My Own Prison was pretty good). [Flavor Wire]

- Tupac's entourage smoked his ashes... or did they? BECAUSE TUPAC'S NOT DEAD [NME]

- "Space Oddity" as a children's book... beautifully depressing. [Badass Digest]

- Monta Ellis, the poster child for the misunderstood "scorer" [Court Vision]

- Angels and demons beloved by nerds. Not listed? The Dan Brown novel. [Topless Robot]

- 4 accidental sequels to 80s movies [Badass Digest]">Cracked]

- Lil' Wayne, absurd lyrics? Nah, can't be. [The Smoking Section]

- This week in movie posters. [Film Drunk]

- Perspective: u has none [Buzz Feed]

- Two chatbots arguing with each other. Are both their arguments invalid, or just yours? [Gamma Squad]

- Science... ruining supervillainy since 1543 [Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]

- The very definition of "butterface" [Skull Swap]

- Will the NHL ever relocate into Kansas City? [Puck Daddy]

- I told you the dog was going to take over your room [Imgur Gallery]

- Nancy Grace on Dancing with the Stars. So's Ron Artest. Can we take up a collection for Artest's bail so he can elbow the shit out of the shrill young white girl murder exploitation expert? [Warming Glow]

Instant Feedback: Super Dud

It appears brand extension has ended with a whimper rather than a bang, or at least it's been put on hold. Funny, but it makes almost total sense for it to end this way, because it seems some old habits are hard to break. Tonight's show seemed like a placeholder in every sense of the word, but instead of those places being held being current, they felt like they were out of a RAW from last year rather than this year. I understand that it's not really feasible to expect them to launch it out of the park every week, but tonight more than any other show between Money in the Bank and now felt like regression.

For one the sense of dread that I had when CM Punk and Kevin Nash were officially announced to have a match at Night of Champions actually materialized. I thought I'd be alright with it, but really, Kevin Nash wrestling in 2011 is just a losing proposition anymore. So you'd think I'd be alright with them switching out to Punk/Triple H, right? Well, only slightly. From a match quality standpoint, it works, but I don't know. I'm starting to get flashbacks to late 2010 with them rushing the story again. Punk/Trips feels like something that could be stretched out a bit, but then again, I get the feeling that after Night of Champions, the two are going to be aligned. Call me crazy...

Also, no Alberto del Rio on the show? C'mon now. I want to know how you're going to have a supershow and not have the WWE Champion. I don't know. I really don't know about most of this show. IT was just so confusingly and befuddlingly boring and uneventful. Like, how am I going to comment on something that felt so warmed over? Then again, at least the wrestling was good. It's a big saving grace, and I'm glad that they are really focusing on providing a decent in-ring product. That being said, if you make me feel like I'm wasting my time out of the ring, then it's just so draining as a fan. Ugh.

Instant Feedback: EAT SHIT LOGAN

So, did anyone else catch the not-so-PG sign in the crowd during the Alberto del Rio/John Morrison match? It made me giggle.

Anyway, yeah, the main event stuff tonight was hit or miss for me. Punk seemed off on his promo game tonight, but at the same time, you can't expect a guy to spit each week at the highest level. That being said, Punk at B+ is better than a lot of guys at their A+++ material, so it's okay. Here's what I liked about the main event angle. I loved the Cena/Punk match, up to the finish. I liked that Nash pulled a slick outsmarting move to get Triple H out of the building. What I didn't like? I didn't like the segment in the middle where Nash and Trips confronted each other. I didn't like the finish of the main event. It's not that Cena won at all. I think it's par for the course. Neither guy can seem to put the other away without help. I think it sets the stage for the ultimate showdown, maybe at Hell in the Cell. What I didn't like was the tired "distract the loser" finish with Nash distracting Punk. I feel like they do this too much. I'm in the middle on the opening segment. So yeah, there's that.

I also almost (and probably should have) fast forwarded through the Divas match completely (I started late because I was putting together a crib... FUN!). Also, Morrison has the worst strikes ever, really. He fooled me against Sheamus last year, but mostly because all he was doing were punches. Break anything else out and he sucks. Those lariats... good God, Stan Hansen in 2080 is rolling over in his grave every time Morrison breaks one of those out. And the Jack Swagger/Alex Riley match was subpar.

That being said, a lot of what went down tonight was fucking awesome. The Tag Pennies match was pretty good. Yes, I'm pretty high on the Nexus as a tag team, although I'm psyched that Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston have them the belts. Aside from the actual match, I'm excited about the prospect of either an alliance between Swagger and Dolph Ziggler or, where I want it to go, a feud where we'll get fucking awesome matches with a lot of amateur influence and great counters and I have to stop writing about it because I'll start fantasy booking and I don't want to do that right now because I'm tired.

The Miz/R-Truth dual promo was so, so, SO FUCKING AWESOME that I couldn't stop smiling. Both men proved they could hang with Punk in the blurring of the edge, and both guys just delivered. They're a perfect duo, with Truth bringing the absurdity and Miz being the intense straight man. Man, I want to see more of these guys.

So yeah, there were a few really big spots on RAW tonight, but it was an overall uneven episode. That being said, the main event narrative can't be awesome every week, but overall, I'm still on board.

Sandbag Swagger? Pfft, NBD

Swagger going BEEF MOE
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're reading this blog for something other than the first time, and you've been on the Internet reading message boards and interacting with "smart" fans, then I shouldn't need to tell you that in order for most wrestling moves to work, they take cooperation between the guy giving the move and the guy taking it. If you're reading for the first time, and this is your first time seeing such blasphemy openly saying that wrestling may not be on the up-and-up, hello, welcome to The Internet. I'm happy you chose my blog as your first foray into "advanced" Internet fandom, and I hope that you stay away from most other blogs or news/newz sites because they're exceedingly negative for the sake of being negative and suck. Stick with me and Fair to Flair and all our ancillary blogs, With Leather's Brandon Stroud, Grantland's David "Masked Man" Shoemaker, the Camel Clutch Blog and generally anyone who writes within the umbrella and is on my sidebar. So yeah, you may not know that moves take cooperation but they do. Get it. Got it? Good.

Anyway, what happens when someone taking the move just dead-weights a guy and doesn't cooperate? Or if they don't know how to take the move, or if there's a miscommunication or a mistake on taking it? Well, then you get an incident on RAW where Alex Riley sandbagged Jack Swagger during the execution of the SWAGGAH BOMB~! Swagger had trouble wrestling Riley up to the peak to bring the move to completion. It looked awkward as fuck for the first part of the move, but then a funny thing happened. Through last minute coordination from Riley or from sheer BEAST MODE-style strength from Swagger, the All-American American American American American American American American American American American got Riley up and delivered the signature gutwrench powerbomb to its full motion. In short, it made Swagger look like a complete badass.

I've made no bones about the introduction of "struggle" into move execution in the past. I love the scraps that Daniel Bryan would have with various opponents in trying to wrangle each other into their various submission holds. The Ikuto Hidaka/Chris Hero match from EVOLVE 2 was amazing because it had that rough edge to it. Both men didn't go in hitting their spots cleanly all the time; there was an illusion that yeah, maybe they really were fighting instead of just going through a choreographed routine. I don't pretend to say that the clean and crisp execution of a move is bad, because I like that too. I like all styles of wrestling, to tell you the truth. But there is something raw and visceral and satisfying when every once in awhile, you get guys giving in and saying "Fuck it, let's look like we're really scrapping."

That being said, what happened Monday was probably the furthest thing from a cooperative effort to look like the two guys were really beating the shit out of each other as possible. Riley fucked up, plain and simple. He sandbagged Swagger, and in turn, he fucked the sequence up. I don't know if it was intentional or whether Riley is still super, super green, but let's not rush to give him credit here. The guy we should be lauding though is Swagger. Whether it was sheer will, anger, frustration or adrenaline, he took Riley over and executed a move that would have looked awful if he didn't overcome the Varsity Villain's inertia.

There's taking lemons and turning them into lemonade, and then there's taking lemons, smashing them into curd and making them into delicious tarts. With the effort that Swagger put out Monday night, I'd say he deserves credit enough for the more laborious task. He made a bad situation into a visual spectacle. I'd say that earned him a round of applause, or at least it should have.

Last Night's Epic Line in .gif Form

Via Dead N---- Storage Via Flubby

Seriously, there's no one better than CM Punk right now. NO ONE.

Instant Feedback: OMG Kevin Nash WTF I Thought He Was Dead LOL

After Kevin Nash cost CM Punk the Undisputed WWE Championship last night, I know I was looking forward to the promo confrontation tonight. It had to happen. Nash was one of the savviest talkers in this sort of environment, and Punk, well, Punk's been proving it every week save one for the last two months. So yeah, I was a bit disappointed with the way Nash didn't show up. Punk ran circles around him, which is okay given that Punk makes everything alright, y'know?

That being said, I liked the way the segment played out. While Nash's delivery was rusty and his "shooty" material felt the most Russo-ish of the insider stuff, I thought nearly everything else surrounding it was interesting. Johnny Ace and Nash as cohorts was a wrinkle that I saw coming, but still welcomed. Stephanie's continued existence is troubling a bit, since I'm still unsure whether she can keep her raging ego in check, but it makes sense.

However, the undisputed star of this show was Alberto del Rio. His promo at the beginning (after shooing Triple H from the ring after a record low seven minutes of promo time) was amazing. People like to knock him for being one-dimensional or "comedic" or whatever, but he's a swarthy, cocky dickhead who just fulfilled his destiny. That gave his promo so much weight, and it was mollified by his awesome facial expressions and body language. One-dimensional? If he's like this in August 2012 or '13, maybe, but right now, he's still technically in his rookie year. It's his first act, and what a first act it's been.

His match with Rey Mysterio was great too. Man, those two don't have bad matches with each other. They really played up Mysterio's title history, and it really put an air of uncertainty on the match. Mysterio took a big bump across the guardrail, and then del Rio said "Heeeeeyy, I can do better!" and leaped out of the ring on a spill of his own. The finish was utter brilliance too. Mysterio landed a 619, making everyone think he was going to win, and then the counter to the Tadpole Splash (lol, love that call) was just the best way to end the match. Seriously, anyone who says WWE doesn't give you wrestling is full of shit.

The post-match stuff worked for me too. John Cena, although many could say that he was hypocritically (although could that be the point?), spat fire, and it was intense and effective.

Of course, RAW wasn't all peaches and cream. Specifically, the Riley/Swagger match segment was dreadful. Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler bickering didn't click for me (although I appreciated where it was going). Dumping on JR was lame. The match sucked, and yeah, Riley clearly sandbagged Swagger at the end. Credit to Swagger for handling it like a pro and still coming out looking all beast mode, but still, Riley is either a dick (not likely) or just showing how green he is still (more likely). I will say this; the finish of that match made me appreciate that they're maybe going for a Swagger/Ziggler feud in the near future with Swagger moving in on Vickie in the next segment.

All in all, a solid if unspectacular show. They still kept me interested, and the main event was boss though, so yeah, it was more win than loss for me.

The Miz: Master of the Beatdown

Miz, doing one of the things he does exceedingly well
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The Miz doesn't really get high marks across the board when it comes to his wrestling in the ring. I think he's above average, but at the same time, he's behind probably ten workers in WWE when it comes to being an elite wrestler. That's not really a knock on him, seeing as the WWE right now is loaded with so many good workers. I won't really say it's unprecedented, because I'm sure there's a point in the '80s where they had a lot of really good in-ring guys, but that's not the point.

There is an area of physicality where I feel Miz is the best in the WWE and possibly the whole industry. Whenever he's called upon to beat someone down in a sneak attack, you know it's going to be a vicious, effective segment. We saw this a lot during the feud with Jerry Lawler. He'd come out of the crowd, burst out of nowhere and just waylay the King, laying hard-looking punches and forearms, throwing him into the rail, stomping him, just brutalizing him.

That came into play again Monday night, when he beat down Rey Mysterio before their scheduled match. Again, Miz came off looking like a feral animal, charging after Mysterio like he owed him money. A lot of that was Mysterio bumping and making Miz look like a million bucks, but you can't tell me that the look in Miz's eyes when he charged in and stomped Mysterio's head against with all the force of a thousand Clydesdales didn't convey pure hatred. Much like commenter uconngary7 said on the Instant Feedback post Monday night, Miz "looked like he wanted to end Rey's life". That's not really something you can teach. It's dedication to the craft. It's surrendering yourself to the character and performing at a high level whether you're main eventing WrestleMania or you're doing basic storyline stuff that in effect takes your rumored match off the card of the second or third biggest event on the calendar.

You people rag on me for my Miz praise all the time (you people, what do you mean you people?), but it's stuff like his knack for really going the extra mile when he has to go out and beat the crap out of someone in a sneak attack, the facial expressions, the vigor at which he performs the most basic-seeming stomps that add to my admiration for him. He's a rare example of a guy who has natural talent and who tries hard to make sure that every time he's on screen, you remember him. Personally, I think he does a damn good job at it.

The One Where TH Thinks Ricky Morton's First Name Is Robert

Direct link for your downloading pleasure

Episode 42 of the A1-Podcast, the official show of A1-Wrestling, is online. Obviously, I'm on it, but only for the first half, but it was a good first half. Me and the crew talk about RAW this past Monday as well as tag team wrestling, and at the end of my live segment, I rant about people ragging on John Cena for being "Superman" and then fawning over Shawn Michaels despite the fact that he also does the same things.

I also name Robert Morton as the best tag wrestler of all-time, despite there being no Robert Morton who ever wrestled. It was late and I was tired, but I now submit myself to take the Ricky Morton treatment from any two huge Rock 'n Roll Express fans. I also give a shout-out to Claudio Castagnoli, and in my pre-taped Sound Off! segment, I call Dave Lagana to the carpet for trying to glom Kevin Steen's heat. After I leave, the discussion continues about Hardcore Justice and PWO's Wrestlelution 4. Try and guess which one the panel liked more. Hint, it's not the show run by Impact Wrestling.

Give it a listen, subscribe on iTunes, and hey, visit the boards because it's a good place to talk wrestling. Or rasslin. Or both.

Your Midweek Links: A Massive Missive

NOMNOMNOMNOM

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week!

Self-Shilling:

- The Wrestling Podcast with Spencer Hall, where he describes CM Punk as antisocial, Les Miles as unaffected and college football in the South as a "blood cult". [Episode 14: Tiny Luchas: Songs from the Mexican Gift Shop]

- My Camel Clutch Blog post last week, in praise of Mike Quackenbush's international approach with Chikara. [Chikara: An Education in International Wrestling]

- More podcasty goodness, this time with Jason Mann discussing Booker T vs. The Rock at SummerSlam, and a not-so-heated debate on the merits of Shane McMahon [Wrestlespective Radio]

Wrestling Links:

- "Punk wrestles so some day so that one day, he won't have to." [Fair to Flair]

- Justin Henry writes a paean to the most unsung bad guy in WWE today, Super Dave Osbourne. Wait, what? [Wrestling News Source]

- NWA Fanfest recap [South Atlanta Wrestling]

- DDS' Leslie interviews Marti Belle [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

- ...and Sidekick Andrew talks up SHIMMER with Dave Prazak. [Wrestlegasm]

- Five good things about Hardcore Justice... even Stephen T. Stone admits this was a hard hurdle to jump [Grapple Kingdom]

- A more fleshed-out look at the show. [The Harrison Analysis]

- Impact is so bad, even hip-hop/music blogs call them out on how bad they are [The Smoking Section]

- A lamentation on the treatment of the Impact TV Title [Camel Clutch Blog]

- Ken Patera no-selling the piledriver... a big deal back then. [Kentucky Fried Rasslin]

- Spear through a flaming table? Spear through a flaming table. [Musings of a Mark]

- Technically, this isn't a wrestling post, but it's a post by an honest-to-God wrestler in Dolph Ziggler about his hockey guilty pleasures. [Puck Daddy]

- A reasoned post about why the low rating Monday isn't exactly the end of the world. [International Object]

- Pictures from the Teen Choice Awards, here because John Cena, The Miz, Maryse and most importantly, Maryse's breasts showed up. Again, I'm all for gender equity and women being treated as equals and such, but I'm a guy, and I like breasts. Don't kill me for this. Please. [With Leather]

- The Best and Worst of RAW, 8/8... you know the drill [With Leather]

- Razor's RAW Live Blog [Kick-Out!! Wrestling]

- More thoughts on RAW [Hitting the Mark]

- Lucha libre beer pong set? Lucha libre beer pong set. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

- Steve Austin fanning the flames of speculation on a possible match with CM Punk at WrestleMania [Cageside Seats]

- Melina butthurt over a line Beth Phoenix said in character Monday. In other news... water is wet, but not nearly as "wet" as other liquids. Sorry, had to work in SOME engineering/science humor here. [Diva Dirt]

- #IWantIrby [Wrestling Theory]

- Michelle Beadle is cute, loves sports and is a wrestling fan. Okay, why is it she's not getting more and more love from the wrestling nerd community? [I Want Wrestling]

- Lucha .gifs of amazement! [Luchablog]

Jamie Dobson Interviews:

- Dom "The Bomb" Vitelli

- Magical Jarek 1:20

- "The Joverine" Joey Knight

Non-Wrestling Links:

- Patton Oswalt's latest 5 second film. I love these. [5 Second Films]

- House of PUNTE's "Best of" podcast. A must listen for people who don't listen to it but want to get into it. [House of PUNTE]

- Rioting in London... I think the reaction of natives over there calling these rioters the pejorative term for the female genitalia is the appropriate response. I mean, really, you're against police brutality so you loot small businesses? [Uproxx]

- Ron Artest going to play in England. I'd make a joke about the riots, but it'd probably really bad that it'd come off as tasteless, so I'll pass. [The Smoking Section]

- A review of America's first pizzeria, Lombardi's in New York [Doughboys]

- The origin of General Tso's chicken. Stoners everywhere should try to read this origin of one of their staple foods until they get distracted by Nyan Cat in their other tab. [Mental Floss]

- What was omitted? The 78 comment follow-up where everyone flames everyone. [Imgur Gallery]

- This is my reason to wake up and look forward to Monday mornings. Drew Magary's weekly FJMing of Peter King is soul satisfying. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

- Best of the Conde Elevator Twitter account... yes, people are REALLY that self absorbed. [Buzz Feed]

- A sabermetric argument for why a guy like Ben Zobrist is more valuable to a team than Prince Fielder, even though the latter's counting/average stats are better. [Fan Graphs]

- An open letter to the makers of Cracker Jack [The Oatmeal]

- Texas A&M to stay where they are because buildings are heavy and hard to move, dammit [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- How to spot authentic Cohibas from fakes [30nothings]

- 16 drinks named for authors and books. Not included is the Alan Moore Watchmen shot, which oddly enough is just a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head. [Slosh Spot]

- More alcoholic goodness, only constructive! Why the beer can is making a comeback. [Philadelphia Craft Beer Examiner]

- Jason Momoa writes Conan the Barbarian fan fiction? Well, he's still Khal Drogo to me, so it's all good. [Film Drunk]

- Best fictional workplaces. Not listed: The Isengard Uruk-Hai foundry. [Pajiba]

- Gollum as a ring bearer. Best. Wedding. Ever. [Topless Robot]

- Nothing is written in stone, says the placard written in stone. [Skull Swap]

- Frances Bean Cobain all grow'd up. All of a sudden, Nevermind is only the second best thing Kurt Cobain ever produced. [Jezebel]

- Anne Hathaway as Selina Kyle for the first time. Nice. [Blast-o-Rama]

- Making it rain while driving is a bad idea. [Gawker]

- The JAWS/Peanuts mash-up you weren't expecting but will probably love anyway. [NYMag - Vulture]

- Ralph Wiggum .gifs for the whole family! [Mmmm... Simpsons]

- Dana White gives out bounties for guys who take out guys in speedos. Part of me finds this dumb because of all the dick-punching, but part of me wants Dana White to patrol the beaches to take out banana hammocks there too. [Cagewriter]

- Cliff Lee does it all. [The Fightins]

- Portal etiquette [Pants Are Overrated]

- Shipping cars in the King Solomon-approved way [Carpe Diem]

- Things are so bad in Somalia that even the Prime Minister has to work two jobs! [NYMag - Daily Intel]

- Haha, they're making a Gen. Patton cologne. [Holy Taco]

- What if the NBA went tits up? [Deadspin]

- The Canadian Stampede was a rodeo before it was a WWF PPV, and it's still a big Calgary tradition today. [Grantland]

- If Ocarina of Time were a children's book... [Unreality Mag]

- Zune HD review [Aggressive Art]

- Barney Frank ripped one on the air. It's funny because he's old. [Warming Glow]

- Rex Grossman says the Redskins will win the NFC East. In other news... y'know what, I'm not going to tempt fate here, because the last thing I need are mouthy Skins fans throwing this back in my face in December if Grossman turns out to be right. [The 700 Level]

- Movie cliches, in graph form! [Graph Jam]

- The password? brettfavreBOOMtinactin [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

- Five more secrets that only two living people know [Cracked]

- I want to go to The Sharper Image with Ruben Amaro [I Want to Go to the Zoo with Roy Halladay]

- Looking at the most infamous trade in hockey history 23 years later [Puck Daddy]

- Star Wars porn parody... I dunno, I think I'd rather see the one that they were going to do in Zack and Miri Make a Porno than this one. [Gamma Squad]

- Your guide to fantasy football wide receivers, as compared to hot sitcom daughters from the '80s. Not compared to: Kimmy Gibler [With Leather]

- Why you shouldn't get your opinion from pundits [Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]

Instant Feedback: Triple H Is Solar Powered

Any momentum that was lost last week from the main angle was regained. Why did we have any doubt? Did we think the soul-sucking WWE machine could take CM Punk and rob him of his ability to entrance crowds? Turns out the answer to that is now. Punk, who got loud reactions from an iffy crowd all night, a crowd that faded in and out all night long, showed that he can curry interest for a wrestling match by opening his mouth, not by holding a belt up to new theme music.

And let's not take credit away from Cena. He went meta at one point, mentioning workrate in his nerdy voice, and that was great from a different standpoint, but the rest of his delivery showed him at his best. He needs to be the strong, moral, lawful good voice that counterbalances the Punk who's chaotic good persona draws in the male fans who like people who like to watch the world burn. The WWE could really be onto something if they cultivate a split fanbase and start exploring the fact that different wrestlers appeal to different demographics.

They'd also be wise to have Triple H play as much of a background role as possible. Of course, his forced star turn tonight couldn't come at a worse time in terms of selfish reasons, as I'm planning a bunch of entries that look to reconcile my past as a wrestling fan re: Trips, and if I end up coming to a conclusion that forgives him and he ends up fucking up SummerSlam? Yeah, I don't even want to imagine that. Triple H as a forefront character for this angle is bad. As someone in the background, he works, especially if he lets Funkhauser, err, I mean Super Dave Osbourne, err, I mean John Laryngitis... err, Laurinitis become the real lightning rod proxy. It also helps that Mr. Ace has a puro education, because I doubt that flash kick from Punk was the last bump he'll be taking.

Of course, the perfect contract signing wasn't the only thing going on here. A lot of stuff happened on RAW tonight, including two potential SummerSlam matches being taken off the card. The first saw Miz continue Rey Mysterio's injury angle with a STELLAR beatdown. Again, he shows why he's the best at the Pearl Harbor, bar none. Obviously, since Rey will be back next week for his rematch, it lends credence to the report that his injury is just a "tweak". The other match taken off the books potentially has been R-Truth/John Morrison. Some have been speculating that it's a warning shot to go along with Melina's firing. It makes sense to me, but again, no primary source, no reporting as fact. That being said, with those two matches being moved off the card ostensibly, is it too much to ask to see Miz and Truf win the Tag Pennies and become JeriShow 2K11 at SummerSlam? Please?

This was a banner night for promos. Alberto del Rio's spot before his match with Punk was pretty good. Truf was hilarious as always. Punk's line of "Triple H needing the spotlight so much that he's solar powered" was GOLD, JERRY, GOLD. Of course, the wrestling was good for the most part too. Cena/Swagger was good. Kofi/Truth was deceptively excellent. After a week where they may have taken off, RAW bounced back with a strong show, one that gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, they won't fuck up SummerSlam.

Is the Thrill Gone?

Not the best show, but I'm not jumping yet
Photo Credit: WWE.com

They couldn't keep up that pace forever, right? Right? Well, if you ask some people, the string of epic RAW endings ended last week with Punk's allegedly premature return to action. I will still say that it was a right call (admitting that there were several potential right calls in that scenario), but a lot of it was very much dependent on how they followed up this week. In my eyes, they really didn't follow up that well at all.

The angle has been predicated on being cutting edge, or at least on the pretense of such an ideal. We had Punk venting about perceived wrongs, showing up and cuckolding Triple H at ComiCon, showing up at AAW, pulling a Chuck Taylor in Jimmy Kimmel, bolting out the genpop exit at Money in the Bank with the title... and we're reduced to dueling themes and holding up titles in the overrun? Yeah, you'll have to forgive me if I'm not enthralled with that cheese when in the last month, we've gotten nothing but A-list material.

That being said, it is the first time they've faltered on a consensus scale. The rational explanation is that it's impossible to keep up a string of excellence at a 100% clip. This is true. We were meant to get a lull in the action sooner or later. However, time and time again, wrestling fans, especially ones who reside on the Internet, myself included, have a tendency to overreact at times.

Then again, can you blame us? Asking fans of WWE (and even moreso, Impact) to trust the company on a new direction or an exciting storyline is like asking Charlie Brown to keep trying to kick the football even though every time, Lucy pulls it away. The question might then shift to why do we keep trying to kick the ball when we know the result, but hey, no one ever said that wrestling fans were the most rational bunch when it comes to how they allocate their time.

So here we are, back on the ledge. Personally, I've trained myself to be less cynical (and on the flip side, more set up to be disappointed), and yet I can't help but think that they took the thrill out of CM Punk last night. Is it an overreaction? Probably, but that's what we do. We overreact. That being said, they have two more weeks to try and get the thrill back, and given that the angle still contains Punk, they have a damn good chance to do it. Here's the thing about Punk; he's one of the rare talents who overcomes bad circumstance like Michael Jordan made fools look silly on the court in the early '90s. So right there, this angle has something going for it that the Nexus angle, or several other false start angles in the past didn't have going for them.

So yeah, maybe in this one instance, we shouldn't be so quick to jump off the ledge. The thrill may seem like it's gone now, but at the same time, you can never tell when Punk's got the power to turn a microphone into a pipe bomb. Granted, it's looking more and more like Triple H won't be as giving with him as Vince McMahon was with Steve Austin, but you know what? Punk can overcome that. Why? Because he's awesome, that's why.

And as long as CM Punk remains awesome, I'm not sure the thrill will ever go away from professional wrestling as long as he's there.

The Best Moves Ever: Slingshot Sitdown Powerbomb

You ever see something and go "DAMN, that's one of the best things I've ever seen" right away? I had one of those moments Monday night. During the EXCELLENT Miz/Mysterio match, there was one spot that jumped out at me right away as one of the top moves I've ever seen. A slingshot sitdown powerbomb, executed perfectly, bumped perfectly... just AAAAAAWESOME.

Strike While the Iron Is Hot, Dammit: Why Punk Coming Back Last Night Was Good

Pictured: The Right Call
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The end to last night's RAW was pretty epic from where I stood. CM Punk, coming out to ruin John Cena's party after winning the WWE Championship from Rey Mysterio in a hastily-announced match (one that quite frankly Mysterio in character should have bitched about like Christian did, although his circumstance was worse), "Cult of Personality" blaring, fans chanting for him once they knew who it was coming out from the Gorilla position. To me, it signaled that the WWE has a burgeoning megastar on their hands, one who could at the very worst help Cena, Mysterio and Randy Orton populate the top of the card as heroes and at best could be their biggest star since The Rock or Steve Austin. The segment itself took a lot of criticism though, but not for execution.

It seems there are a lot of people out there who didn't like the timing of it, that Punk should have been stowed away from view for much longer than the one week he was away. Some of them no doubt were the ones who said RAW sucked last week because there was no Punk, but I do take comfort in seeing that most people criticizing this were different from that crowd. It gives credence to my view that Internet wrestling fans don't share a hive mind and actually have their own individual thoughts and feelings. Still though, I can't help but disagree with that crowd. Why?

Surely, you all know about Seth Rollins, aka Tyler Black. Before he was scooped up by WWE, he was probably the most popular guy in ROH for three years running. His big moment, winning the ROH World Championship, though felt flat, almost anti-climactic. Why? Because he'd spent three years futilely chasing the title, losing at every turn he could have. The iron was hot for him to win in 2008 and 2009. So why wait to strap him until the 2010 Anniversary Show, after he'd already gone to a crowd-deflating time limit draw with Austin Aries at Final Battle 2009 three months prior?

Conversely, look at Kevin Steen. A little over a month ago, he made giant waves getting himself "kicked out" of a ROH show in New York as part of an ongoing angle. This has made him the hottest property in the indies ongoing, and if it weren't for Punk, he'd be the hottest thing in wrestling I'd imagine, at least in my scope, which admittedly is a bit skewed. Regardless, Steen has worked indie crowds into a fever pitch, becoming one of the most in-demand wrestlers for any fed to bring in. So what does PWG do? They put the World Championship on him. They struck when the iron was hot, and now, people are talking about them. Well, they'd be talking about them even more if Punk hadn't shown up in AAW on the same night.

But that's the thing. Punk gets people talking, like Black did in ROH and like Steen is doing now in every promotion but ROH (although under the guise of a ROH angle, if that makes sense). Why wouldn't you want the spotlight to be on him in front of fans that want to see him and want to cheer for him? You could argue that he "hasn't been away" enough, but I argue that every second between his disastrous feud with the Undertaker in late 2009 and his epic promo on 6/27 this year was him being "away" from the limelight. He's been building up this furor among his most ardent supporters, all while just haphazardly being there for the rest of the fans, being a dickish heel (enhancing guys like Big Show, Mysterio and Orton along the way), but also showing flashes of awesomeness like his role as an announcer or his Slammy acceptance speech. When he "returned" so to speak, that was the first catharsis. The second one was winning the title. The third was his return and his promise to continue being the voice of the voiceless that essentially made him a good guy.

This isn't the case of someone who has been overexposed needing to go away to freshen up like Cena at the end of last year (although before they haphazardly sprinted to the finish between his first night "gone" and TLC, I really didn't have a problem with him not missing any time then either in terms of how the story could have been told). This is a guy who just, as many people are saying now, had his "Austin 3:16" moment. He doesn't need to be kept away to be built up more. He needs to be paying off on that buzz before he gets too cold.

Black is the ultimate cautionary tale here. Hell, ROH itself is the cautionary fed. Everyone seems to love ROH, but there's a reason why they don't have widespread TV or big mainstream appeal, and it's not because of the style of wrestling. I seriously do think that more wrestling can get over if presented right. However, in the last few years, it hasn't been presented right. The only feud that they've really hit on all cylinders for was El Generico vs. Kevin Steen. Why? Because it was tense all the way through, and it ended at the right time with Generico giving Steen his comeuppance. Otherwise, they waited too long to put the title on Black. They waited six months too long to put the title on Davey Richards. The fact that they put the title on Jerry Lynn at all (instead of Black or even Roderick Strong, another guy that could be argued was kept too long from the title depending on how you view their fanbase) should tell you that ROH's booking model isn't exactly the best one to emulate.

And believe me, Punk does not deserve the same fate as Black. He needs to have the crowd feeding off him, wanting him to be there and anticipating his matches at SummerSlam rather than at Hell in a Cell, whatever they're replacing Bragging Rights with or at Wrestling Match: The PPV Event. As it stood last night, a SummerSlam main event of Cena and Alberto del Rio or even Mysterio would have been nice, but not something that would be must-see for a lot of fans out there. Now that Punk's involved to continue the story with Cena he began in the build to Money in the Bank? Yeah, you get a lot more people excited.

That's why Punk is back, and more importantly, why he needs to be back. Then again, maybe I'm not the best example since I wanted him to sign his contract extension on top of the Spinner Belt. And yeah, I loved the viral stuff they were starting to do and may even continue to do. Again, we don't exactly know what the circumstances of Punk being there last night were, and for all we know, he might have been "crashing the party" (that video on WWE.com where he says "I'm baaaack!" notwithstanding… then again, if it doesn't happen on camera, does it happen?). But yeah, this is certainly the right call. Again, following up on that is key, but I have a strange feeling that everything's gonna be alright.

Instant Feedback: Like Mussolini, and Kennedy

I'm getting the feeling that I got back in 1998, like RAW was going to be an event. Only I'm not. You see, would we have gotten three PPV quality matches on the show in 1998? Miz/Rey, Dolph/Bourne and Rey/Cena were all fucking amazing matches. del Rio/Kofi wasn't bad, although Kofi was a bit sloppy. Still, regardless of the execution, the intent was there to have a show jam packed with great wrestling. In that regard, there were no qualms, and it was way better than what we'd get in the Attitude Era.

That being said, there's a buzz around the show like there was back in that era. They seem to be hitting on all cylinders again with the strong character work and hooks that leave people astounded. I mean, there have been great shows in the last couple of years, but only one moment before 6/27 has left me with the feeling I've been having regularly in the last month. That was the Nexus' debut. Since then, you have CM Punk, John Cena, Vince McMahon, Triple H, Jim Ross, Michael Cole, R-Truth and now Zack Ryder giving me these moments. It's great.

The Triple H state of the WWE address was as well-done as anything he's done in the last three years. I know some people can't palate his comedy, but that's when I really get him best. He's naturally funny to me, and his interplay with Truth was outstanding. I think it helped that Truth is just the funniest guy out there right now. And hey, how about the Ryder cameo? It's almost like everything about this show was geared towards sending some section of the fans home happy.

That includes the end. Is the WWE running a bit too fast with Punk's return? Maybe they are, but conversely, Punk's iron is hot right now. I can understand wanting to capitalize on having the hottest property in pro wrestling on my program, whether he's been away for too long or not long enough. And to me, it doesn't matter when or where he comes back, it matters the execution. Tonight, it was executed perfectly. Cena winning the paper title, "Cult of Personality" blaring over the speakers, Punk coming out with a new Titantron, wearing his eBay hot property tee? Christ, I got goosebumps.

So yeah, if this is a taste of how things are going to run with Trips in charge, then I'm all aboard. IF we can get to a return of buzzworthy wrestling without the impetus of another company pushing them, then fuck, I love it. Tonight was a special show, another in a line of three or four in the last month.

Instant Feedback: Dixie Carter Is Calling Vince McMahon's Cell AS WE SPEAK

So, when everyone was wondering where CM Punk would be tonight, he took in his hometown Cubs beating my Philadelphia Phillies at Wrigley Field. In the mean time, WWE put out a deliciously understated, nuanced show full of wrestling with a surreal ending. Coming off the most emotionally charged, action-packed PPV event in the company's history perhaps, well, it caught me a little off-guard. That being said, I dug RAW tonight.

For one, there was some good wrestling. Ziggler/Mysterio was a really, really good match, but is anyone surprised? They're two of the best workers in the world. Hell, I love tournaments on the whole, so even with some of the matches being duds, I liked the stories involved. Miz being portrayed as an underdog to me was the ballsiest one of those stories, and they're treading a fine line, but hey, it could be something interesting.

Then again, not everything worked. The Divas being cattle-chuted out just to stand around while Beth Phoenix did moves to Rosa Mendes was lame. And the tournament final being switched to next week felt like somewhat of a bait and switch to me. Then again, they have another week to build, and hey, the segment that followed was what made the show so damn intriguing. Yeah, we didn't get Punk. We got John Cena dodge firing, but it was through Triple H firing Vince McMahon. Yes, Vince McMahon got fired.

I can see where the show would have taken some off guard, but I thought it was decent. I'm intrigued to see where all this goes, but we got wrestling and story advancement tonight. That's a pretty good recipe for RAW, right?

R-Truth Is the New Tracy Morgan

My funny bone done gets okeydoked by Truf every Monday
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Tracy Morgan's career is over. Well, okay, maybe it's not over, but after he went on stage and proclaimed that if his son were gay, he'd stab him as part of his act, it's going to take some rehab for him to get back in the swing of things. What does this have to do with pro wrestling? Well, Morgan's style of humor was always saying crazy shit that may or may not have made sense. That remind you of anyone currently on the RAW roster?

Yep, R-Truth has basically become the new Tracy Morgan on RAW, and thank for that, because if he didn't find that niche, I'd probably have to fight the urge to blow my brains out every time he came on screen. This past week on RAW may have been the funniest promo Truf has ever cut, and that's saying something given that he's labeled everyone in the world a "Jimmy" of some sort, little, big or even señor for the Spanish-speaking ones. In an aside, the only way that I think this character arc can really end is by having him be cornered and swarmed by a bunch of people wearing "Jimmy" tee-shirts. Almost like his worst nightmares coming true.

Anyway, this past week, he came out talking starting to talk about something called agraphobia or acrophobia or something (both are legit phobias, look 'em up) and then finished with something about spiders in a briefcase or some shit like that. I didn't try to understand it, but it was fuckin' funny. I think a lot of it has to do with his delivery too. I don't know if he's just that good an actor, or if he really is crazy, but it just comes off as so unhinged that it adds to the comedic value, kinda like how Tracy Morgan's delivery is. Now, if only Truf will stay away from making overtly homophobic remarks as part of his promos, then he'll be in better shape than Morgan ever was. Then again, he works for WWE, so that's not out of the question...

Instant Feedback: PUNK HARDER AGAIN

If tonight was any indication, the WWE is going to miss CM Punk if he's really leaving. While all this pomp and build makes me believe that they're not going to be letting him walk, well, tonight he proved that when he's on, he can take wrestling to another level. Even though it was a little crass, he was right when he said the only times wrestling gets front page pub is when he talks or a wrestler dies. That's publicity you can't buy. And really, this is only half of what Punk can do. He wrestles just as well as he talks, and he'll prove that at Money in the Bank, because Cena can too.

Speaking of Cena, outside of the beginning of his spiel after interrupting the contract negotiations, where Bad Goofy Cena reared his ugly head again, he was on point when he was serious. Hell, both bookend segments were outstanding. Vince McMahon acquitted himself well too, but he almost always does. He even broke out the "LET'S HEAR IT FOR VINCE MCMAHON" schtick again. Love that. Although one last note, is it a sad commentary on the city of Boston that it was Punk calling Cena the Yankees that made him snap? I'm from Philly, and we take sports very seriously, but even I think that's an almost sad breaking point.

Anyway, the rest of the show was just there, but it didn't really have to be anything but just there. The Money in the Bank prep was hit or miss. I will say that R-Truth talking about being afraid of spiders and the grits hitting the fan was again surreally entertaining. Christ, he should just do stand-up. He'd be like Tracy Morgan, only less controversial. Other than that, it felt warmed over. Miz was okay in his promo. Swagger was good. Bourne was actually decent on the mic, and then Kofi comes out and cuts the most generic promo I've ever heard. I mean, he's got good delivery... but who's writing this bullshit for him? Then after Truth's manic awesomeness, we get Alex Riley clearing the ring in the most nonsensical fashion ever... like, wouldn't he want to come out before SWAGGAH BOMBU? I don't know. The match was okay though.

Also, the Bella Twins should probably stay away from weight-based insults altogether. Calling Kharma fat is the wrong message. Calling Kelly Kelly overly skinny? Uh, have these twins looked in the mirror lately? Nattie, Beth Phoenix, Eve and Melina all have great body types. The Bellas are just as bad as K2. Maybe they should eat something more than bean sprouts and their fingers. And if you want to get a good reaction over the number of handicap matches on the show, just ask Razor. He'll give you the what for.

But then again, the sandwich portion of RAW could have been 90 minutes of monkeys on tricycles trying to fling poop at Santino and Hornswoggle and it wouldn't have mattered. Punk, McMahon and to a lesser extent Cena made this show. Is wrestling back? I'm not qualified to make that statement, because I'll probably continue to watch even if it turtles into further cultural obscurity. That, and if Punk leaves after Sunday, it's all for naught. However, RAW for the last three weeks has felt special, a certain kind of specialness it's lacked for a long time. Vince, Cena and ESPECIALLY Punk are the reasons why.

Suddenly... Zack Ryder!

WWWYKI or lolwut?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Hey guys, Zack Ryder finally made an appearance on RAW this week. If you blinked though, you may have missed it. AT the end of the Tag Team Championship match, Ryder's music hit, he came out and... well in a minute they had cut to something else. It was great to see Ryder, and even better to hear the crowd pop for his music, but it was surreal just to see him standing there.

Of course, there were two extreme reactions to this, and for a moment I fell into one of them. The camp I was in was that this was the start of a program with the Tag Champs and Ryder is going to team with Chris Masters or Curt Hawkins or EVEN JOHN CENA AND IT'S THE REIGN OF RYDER AND THE TAG DIVISION AND THE KINGS OF WRESTLING AND then my brain broke. The other reaction was one of dismay over his featuring for a moment, that it wasn't any better than him not being on RAW at all or just slapping hands with John Cena or whatever. Us Internets are a pretty reactionary lot, aren't we?

When I calmed down and stopped acting like a child who had crystal meth accidentally laced into his Pixie Stix, I realized that the answer was most likely somewhere in between. His placement in the show was curious, and hey, if you're going to stick Ryder anywhere, it should be against the Tag Champs, right? Unless his Internet Championship is going to become a real thing, which I kinda hope it doesn't. Save it for the house shows and let him put some big boy pants for when he starts working on RAW, whether it's in a Santino comedy role or in a seriously-pushed role. Either one's fine for me.

I just don't know what's funnier though, that WWE thought that sending him out to wave to the audience for a minute was worthy of putting on the main show, or that such a short segment caused that much of a reaction amongst fans. Even though I kinda flipped out when I saw it, I think we need to step back off the ledge with Ryder, at least for now. He's on TV, which is a start, but I think we have to let them start building him up. If it's after Money in the Bank and he's not on the program or just making non-sequitur cameos, then maybe we start complaining about the yo-yo treatment.

Your Midweek Links: I'm the Only One Who Liked RAW Apparently

Punk still creating conversation
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week.

Self-Shilling:

- Episode 9 of The Wrestling Podcast! Razor and I talk about CM Punk, why he hates Randy Orton and what a better wrestling journalism actually means. [Wrestle-phenia]

- My Camel Clutch Blog piece from last week is all about diffusing the trolls who say I'm biased against Impact. Well, I kinda am biased against it, but because I'm biased against shitty, shitty wrestling. [I Want (Good) Wrestling]

- And my BRAND SPANKIN' NEW CCB Column discusses John Cena and why he should stop being such a damn smartass, dammit. [Hustle, Loyalty and Respect, not Cheap Rocky Imitations, Please, John Cena]

- I give the FJM treatment to a dumb letter writer to the Philadelphia Daily News on my Tumblr Page [AMURKA! (FJMing a Letter to a Newspaper)]

Wrestling Links:

- Justin Henry on CM Punk making pro wrestling fun again. [Wrestling News Source]

- Honestly, how many among the wrestling blogosphere need to stand up and say the fat-shaming of Vickie Guerrero is wrong before WWE does something about it? My guess is it'll never be enough... [Camel Clutch Blog]

- Flashing back to Hardcore Heaven '99 and the Dudley Boyz raising hell. [South Atlanta Wrestling]

- Mitch's RAW Review, in handy Woo!/Boo! format [Fair to Flair]

- B-Stroud's Best and Worst of RAW... with those last two takes on RAW, am I the only person in the world who COMPLETELY enjoyed Monday's show? [With Leather]

- Bill Baconhill's new blog! [The Goozle]

- Trey Irby doesn't wanna hear the words "slut, whore" or the like again. He should probably not watch Impact then. [Wrestling Theory]

- KSP encouraging you to follow @BobbyHeenandSaid on Twitter. You should too. I don't feel like I need to explain this. [Footnotes of Wrestling]

- A Dirty Dirty interview with Kikutaro, the consensus best comedic wrestler around in Japan right now [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

- Just because, the Kenny Omega-Is-The-Champion-of-the-Anywhere-Match video again [PizzaBodySlam Tumblr]

- Chyna will do a YouShoot. Thankfully for us, that's not a pornographic thing. [Diva Dirt]

- S. Bruce takes time off from digging up dirt about the major companies to tell us why shoot angles don't always work. [Cageside Seats]

- Listen to this, and if you don't bust your gut laughing then, I don't know what to tell you. [Kick-Out!! Blog]

- Kelly Kelly doesn't deserve to be called a slut, but for crying out loud, fire away at her for not knowing the history of the fucking company she works for. Also, the same applies to Kofi Kingston, although I don't think he was ever called a slut. [Wrestlespective]

Jamie Dobson Interviews:

No new interviews posted this week

Non-Wrestling Links:

- I get name-dropped on the House of PUNTE! But more importantly, Larry Brown and Brandon Stroud are guests and it's the return of SHAKEY! [House of PUNTE, Episode 81]

- Nerdy pick-up lines! [Topless Robot]

- GAY BACON STRIPS [Epic Meal Time]

- 8 lines that would have made Star Wars an infinitely more boring movie [Dorkly]

- First Tupac's murderer comes clean, now someone confesses to being an accessory to Biggie's murder? I'd make a joke about Big Pun and a cheeseburger, but I don't need the hip hop community coming after me. [The Smoking Section]

- Clever girl. [Buzz Feed]

- Alexander Ovechkin Geography FAIL [Up Next in Sports]

- They Might Be Giants covering Chumbawumba? They Might Be Giants covering Chumbawumba. [AV Club]

- Seven bits of good news that defy the old journalistic maxim of "if it bleeds, it leads" (and therefore you probably don't know about them) [Cracked]

- Ewan MacGregor and Chris O'Dowd playing lightsaber baseball. Yep. [Jezebel]

- I want this shirt [The Daily What]

- Becky Conner be trollin' Rex Ryan HARDCORE [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

- Oh man, I wanna go to Meatland. [Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal]

- Book covers made from video games... kinda cool, kinda creepy [Unreality Mag]

- The most anticipated films of 2013. Joke's on them, cuz we'll all be dead! HAHAHA [Pajiba]

- Russia, Ukraine and South Korea don't want Captain America to go America all over their box offices, apparently. [Film Drunk]

- Drew Magary's back from vacation, answering questions about cosplay, bequeathments and other stuff as only he can. [Deadspin]

- Phillies Tazer kid gets Web Redemption on Tosh.0 [The 700 Level]

- Explosions in the Sky make their first music video ever. [Blast-o-Rama]

- The Birmingham dog and the guy who made 'em best. [Grantland]

- NAWWWW, it's a cute puppy! And it has an opinion on the designated hitter! [With Leather]

- Just in case you weren't sick enough of the Casey Anthony trial on Facebook and Twitter yesterday, here are celebrities reacting to it. [Hollywood Reporter]

- Moral of the story? Don't offer $125M as a gag bet. [Crashburn Alley]

- Jon Hamm is a very emotive human being. Just another reason why he's like way better than you or I could possibly ever hope to be. [Uproxx]

- Don't worry about the NBA Lockout [Quickish]

- Turns out I'm not the only one sad to see Mike Richards head to LA [Flyers Goal Scored By]

- Zesty interceptions are the best ones, plus other awesome lists [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

- New He-Man movie coming out? Surely, it can't be any worse than the late '80s movie.... wait, don't call you Shirley? Wrong movie. [Gamma Squad]

- Classic Marilyn Monroe picture. In an unrelated note, if I had a time machine, I'd try to go back and woo MM. Of course, I could do a bunch of other good shit, but I'm selfish. Plus, Marilyn was fucking hot, amirite guise? [Skull Swap]

- RIAA going after radio stations now. [The Onion]

- A ginger with a mullet. Your argument... well, you know. [Next Round]

- The Big 10: Three yards, a cloud of dust and now cookies. [Dr. Saturday]

- NHL Free Agency Report Cards [Puck Daddy]

- Peter King's on vacation, so Bill Simmons gets the FJM treatment this week. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

- 10 Disgusting Eating Competitions. Not listed: The Sardinian Maggot Cheese Eat-Off. [Sports Pickle]

- Shane Victorino gets murdered by the Rogers Centre field. This should amuse Mets fans, but then they have to go back facing the reality that they're fans of the Mets after their moment of schadenfreude fleets. [The Fightins]

- The 10 best corgi blogs on the 'Net. TRY TO DENY THEIR CUTENESS. [Warming Glow]