Instant Feedback: Bearded Giraffes

I didn't expect anything major to happen tonight, being that holiday RAWs rarely ever do anything. I was somewhat wrong, at least towards the beginning of the show, although the end reinforced the notion that nothing ever happens except for standard "faces win out" on these kinds of shows. I guess that's why I could palate John Cena standing tall over both Jack SWAGGAH and Alberto del Rio here. There would be plenty of time next week when more people presumably are watching to give del Rio some shine. Plus, the context surrounding the Swagger counter and tap was pretty good. In the main event, they managed to further one of my favorite stories, Dolph Ziggler and SWAGGAH's rivalry for the affections of Vickie Guerrero. del Rio, who was the other star of the show through his Sean O'Haire-esque backstage segments trying to rally troops to do his bidding for him, played into that as well, planting seeds into Ziggler's head about what Swagger's true intentions for Vickie were. Lost in the trailers for shitty movies and the Triple H/Kevin Nash/CM Punk top storyline spinning wheels, there's a really good midcard angle going on here.

That being said, when one top storyline is glossed over and the other gets the standard SuperCena Über Alles ending, it might seem like a terrible RAW. Let's look at the former now. The show started off with a lacking start, even though Punk did his best to save it. I thought he was much better actually wrestling, which people seem to discount because of the whole PIPEBOMB shtick. We know he's great on the mic, but when he gets people to care about a match with R-Truth that doesn't have a whole lot of context around it other than "Hey, he wrestled his tag partner last week", then that's mastery. I do like Punk's paranoia here concerning Trips' intentions towards Nash, but I think a lot of the peripheral stuff has come off pretty badly. One, the narrative still has Punk coming off as, well, a punk to some of the audience. Two, Trips putting his COO position on the line so soon into the narrative? Maybe I can dig it, but it feels too soon for me, even if I feel like the match itself isn't too soon. Third, if Nash is really gone (and with him getting in Funkhauser's limo in the second segment means he's not, more than likely), then it's been spinning wheels since his reintroduction at SummerSlam. Four, there is no four, only Zuul. Finally, the payoff that Nash was the one who sent the text was lame. Like, beyond lame. It pretty much insisted that he's a main player when he's not, and really, no one watching the show for the last three months buys that Trips, if he's a fair arbiter (and to their credit, he has been portrayed as such), is going to choose a guy who showed up, waltzed in and gave an ultimatum over the guy who has sold out a shit-ton of t-shirts and gotten Trips a lot of positive press, if we can blur the lines between kayfabe and "real" for a moment.

Also, I couldn't help but smile at the video package for Zack Ryder, and letting him get the win to a deafening pop was proof enough for me that the guy has arrived and that the fans do have a voice. When Michael Cole is ripping on a guy, you know they've arrived. Ryder's exuberance with Cena afterwards was really cool too, almost like it was as real as it was supposed to be part of the narrative. I really like a good success story. That being said, the pretense behind the match, that Lawler doesn't like David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty because they have "no charisma", is starting to grate on me. I think I see what all these people who think that "personality" is a funny thing to kayfabe feud over.

Also, the sooner they get Eve out of an active wrestler role, the better. Beth Phoenix may have flubbed the Glama-Slam, but she at least looks like a pro wrestler in there. Eve does not. I do find it funny though that they're using that Katie Raymond article as a talking point on TV. Again, K. Sawyer Paul is a guru at this kind of thing. Speaking of people who shouldn't be on camera? Jinder Mahal and Great Khali suck out loud in the ring. Not even Evan Bourne's masterful bumping could make them look good. Also, when Heath Slater and Randy Orton is a RAW match? Well, let's backtrack on that. It was a decent match. And I get the reasoning for it. However, it's something that might have been better suited for Superstars. Then again, what match would replace it? A Mark Henry squash? No better. Eh, I guess I can't complain, especially since Orton, I feel, has started becoming more comfortable wrestling as a good guy. I really like that he's actually setting up spots, especially his stump DDT, rather than, oops, guy's on the apron, let's drag him in and DDT him. Forcing the setup just looks cool.

But if we're going back to the wrestling, the main event tag match was as good a wrestling match as you'll get on a RAW main event. Just excellent pacing and storytelling all around. I liked the interplay between Ziggler and Swagger, the fact that Swagger got to attain beast mode early on, Sheamus taking out centuries of Irish frustration on the proxy for English oppression, Wade Barrett, and especially the spot where Christian's slap enraged Sheamus so much that it got both of them counted out. Really solid action for a show that was actually better than the impression I gave off on Twitter tonight. It was very much a holiday RAW, but it was a somewhat well-executed holiday RAW. It had its flaws, but I enjoyed it for the most part.

Wrestling Six Packs: WWE Tag Teams I Want to See

Is there a reunion in order?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So, WWE wants to build a tag team division, eh? It seems like they're heading in that direction, giving the Tag Team Championships to the team of Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston. Meanwhile, The Miz and R-Truth seem to have sprouted up an alliance. There are other teams they can put together to build a good division along with the Nexus, the Usos and any team that's incoming, whether it be Los Aviadores, the Rotundo Boys, the Kings of Wrestling or whoever is coming in as a team. Here are six teams I'd like to see, using the current roster.

1. Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins

Is it cheating to put these two together? Who cares? We're talking tag teams, so why not reunite the Edgeheads and start off ahead of the curve? Yeah, Ryder's kind of a good guy, and Hawkins, back when he was actually seen on TV last, was a heel, but hey, I'm sure Hawkins would get residual cheers just being associated with his broski.

2. Tyson Kidd and Skip Sheffield

They had a good idea by putting Kidd with a big dude as a "bodyguard", but the execution of it was terrible. Jackson Andrews? Really? Skip Sheffield, when he finally fully heals, is a hoss who is actually really good and won't end up getting shipped off within two weeks. Kidd playing cat and mouse, taunting the babyfaces only to have them run into the meaty hambone of a fist of Sheffield.

3. Drew McIntyre and Jack Swagger, f/ Vickie Guerrero

They're clearly building tension between Swagger and Dolph Ziggler after RAW, but why not build a stable? Let Ziggler run as a singles guy, and have Swagger team with McIntyre. Here you have a team where you have a guy in Swagger who is awesome at the nuts and bolts of wrestling in the ring and a guy in McIntyre who's a master at using the ring itself as a weapon. It's a dual threat villain tag team.

4. Ezekiel Jackson and Yoshi Tatsu

The tried and true good guy tag team formula rests with the Rock 'n Roll Express. You have a Ricky Morton taking massive amounts of damage and then he tags in Robert Gibson who cleans house. So yeah, it's obvious that you have Yoshi making hot tags to Big Zeke, and the Guyanese Goliath comes and bodyslams the shit out of the bad guys. Of course, Yoshi is no slack himself with his big kicks. I'd imagine their finisher to have Zeke putting the victim in the torture rack and Yoshi rocking his dome with a big kick.

5. William Regal and Dean Ambrose

Is this cheating if I use a guy from FCW? Again, it's my blog, so fuck you. Regal has been gushing about the former Jon Moxley in the FCW broadcast booth, so why not have him be the devious mentor for the diabolical mastermind in the bigs? I imagine the beatings would be a brutal combo of mental and physical, and it would be entertaining as fuck.

6. Ricardo Rodriguez and Primo Colon

Again, Rodriguez is in developmental, but he is in WWE's family. I'd rather stick another Mexican under Alberto del Rio, but who else is on the roster who'd fit? Unless you wanted to split Los Aviadores or turn Sin Cara heel. Neither one is as appealing to me, and Primo's a really, really good worker. Would it ruin part of del Rio's mystique if Rodriguez actually wrestled? Nah, I don't think so, especially since del Rio needs to evolve. Having Ricardo split off and do more than just announce for del Rio would be a start.

Future Endeavors 8/17 Power Poll: Quick Turnaround, This Time!

CHAMPION! ...baaaht, chu already knew that
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Khal Bro-go, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Alberto Del Rio (Last week: NR)
2. CM Punk (1)
3. Randy Orton (5)
4. John Cena (2)
5. Christian (3)
6. Cody Rhodes (NR)
7. Wade Barrett (NR)
8. Daniel Bryan (6)
9. Kevin Nash (NR)
10. Kelly Kelly (NR)

And now, my ballot!

1. Alberto del Rio - Who knew it'd take cashing in Money in the Bank, opening RAW with one of the swarthiest displays of cockery ever and having a legit Match of the Year candidate with Rey Mysterio to knock CM Punk from the top spot?

2. CM Punk - Any other week, "omg Kevin Nash? wtf, I thought he was dead lol" would have landed him at #1.

3. John Cena - He had a tremendous match at SummerSlam, got his foot on the ropes and then when TrollFace asked him "u mad?" he was all like "YEAH I REAL MAD!" In fact, he was way madder at Alberto del Rio for cashing in than the guy who ended up as his victim did.

4. Mark Henry - He won HOSS FIGHT 2K11, so he gets this spot. I'm pretty sure that what he did to Sheamus at the end of that match constituted a wig splitting, don't you think?

5. Jay Lethal - He caused an inception moment between me and Cameron Riley. Oh yeah, and won the ROH TV Title. But yeah, INCEPTION *BRAAAAAAAAHM*

6. Wade Barrett - RED BELLY got some of his mojo back with a win over Daniel Bryan in what was probably the finest match of his career. Yep, the funniest thing I have to say about this is the year-old meme that I created and am the only one to really use. THEY CAN'T ALL BE GOLD.

7. Kelly Kelly - She not only got through her match with Beth Phoenix without embarrassing herself or mortally wounding either herself or her opponent, but she actually looked good. Maybe next, she'll wrestle a 60 minute Iron Woman classic with Akira Hokuto at Differ Ariake? Okay, baby steps.

8. Jack Swagger - Deal with a sandbagging rookie and then afterwards, mack on some cougar action back stage? Pffft, NBD for the All-American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American.

9. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan Ranking ®

10. Nigel McGuinness - He came back to ROH after being used up and spit out by Impact. If he had decapitated broadcast partner Kevin Kelly and put his head on a pike afterwards? He'd have gotten #3 easy.

Sandbag Swagger? Pfft, NBD

Swagger going BEEF MOE
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you're reading this blog for something other than the first time, and you've been on the Internet reading message boards and interacting with "smart" fans, then I shouldn't need to tell you that in order for most wrestling moves to work, they take cooperation between the guy giving the move and the guy taking it. If you're reading for the first time, and this is your first time seeing such blasphemy openly saying that wrestling may not be on the up-and-up, hello, welcome to The Internet. I'm happy you chose my blog as your first foray into "advanced" Internet fandom, and I hope that you stay away from most other blogs or news/newz sites because they're exceedingly negative for the sake of being negative and suck. Stick with me and Fair to Flair and all our ancillary blogs, With Leather's Brandon Stroud, Grantland's David "Masked Man" Shoemaker, the Camel Clutch Blog and generally anyone who writes within the umbrella and is on my sidebar. So yeah, you may not know that moves take cooperation but they do. Get it. Got it? Good.

Anyway, what happens when someone taking the move just dead-weights a guy and doesn't cooperate? Or if they don't know how to take the move, or if there's a miscommunication or a mistake on taking it? Well, then you get an incident on RAW where Alex Riley sandbagged Jack Swagger during the execution of the SWAGGAH BOMB~! Swagger had trouble wrestling Riley up to the peak to bring the move to completion. It looked awkward as fuck for the first part of the move, but then a funny thing happened. Through last minute coordination from Riley or from sheer BEAST MODE-style strength from Swagger, the All-American American American American American American American American American American American got Riley up and delivered the signature gutwrench powerbomb to its full motion. In short, it made Swagger look like a complete badass.

I've made no bones about the introduction of "struggle" into move execution in the past. I love the scraps that Daniel Bryan would have with various opponents in trying to wrangle each other into their various submission holds. The Ikuto Hidaka/Chris Hero match from EVOLVE 2 was amazing because it had that rough edge to it. Both men didn't go in hitting their spots cleanly all the time; there was an illusion that yeah, maybe they really were fighting instead of just going through a choreographed routine. I don't pretend to say that the clean and crisp execution of a move is bad, because I like that too. I like all styles of wrestling, to tell you the truth. But there is something raw and visceral and satisfying when every once in awhile, you get guys giving in and saying "Fuck it, let's look like we're really scrapping."

That being said, what happened Monday was probably the furthest thing from a cooperative effort to look like the two guys were really beating the shit out of each other as possible. Riley fucked up, plain and simple. He sandbagged Swagger, and in turn, he fucked the sequence up. I don't know if it was intentional or whether Riley is still super, super green, but let's not rush to give him credit here. The guy we should be lauding though is Swagger. Whether it was sheer will, anger, frustration or adrenaline, he took Riley over and executed a move that would have looked awful if he didn't overcome the Varsity Villain's inertia.

There's taking lemons and turning them into lemonade, and then there's taking lemons, smashing them into curd and making them into delicious tarts. With the effort that Swagger put out Monday night, I'd say he deserves credit enough for the more laborious task. He made a bad situation into a visual spectacle. I'd say that earned him a round of applause, or at least it should have.

Instant Feedback: OMG Kevin Nash WTF I Thought He Was Dead LOL

After Kevin Nash cost CM Punk the Undisputed WWE Championship last night, I know I was looking forward to the promo confrontation tonight. It had to happen. Nash was one of the savviest talkers in this sort of environment, and Punk, well, Punk's been proving it every week save one for the last two months. So yeah, I was a bit disappointed with the way Nash didn't show up. Punk ran circles around him, which is okay given that Punk makes everything alright, y'know?

That being said, I liked the way the segment played out. While Nash's delivery was rusty and his "shooty" material felt the most Russo-ish of the insider stuff, I thought nearly everything else surrounding it was interesting. Johnny Ace and Nash as cohorts was a wrinkle that I saw coming, but still welcomed. Stephanie's continued existence is troubling a bit, since I'm still unsure whether she can keep her raging ego in check, but it makes sense.

However, the undisputed star of this show was Alberto del Rio. His promo at the beginning (after shooing Triple H from the ring after a record low seven minutes of promo time) was amazing. People like to knock him for being one-dimensional or "comedic" or whatever, but he's a swarthy, cocky dickhead who just fulfilled his destiny. That gave his promo so much weight, and it was mollified by his awesome facial expressions and body language. One-dimensional? If he's like this in August 2012 or '13, maybe, but right now, he's still technically in his rookie year. It's his first act, and what a first act it's been.

His match with Rey Mysterio was great too. Man, those two don't have bad matches with each other. They really played up Mysterio's title history, and it really put an air of uncertainty on the match. Mysterio took a big bump across the guardrail, and then del Rio said "Heeeeeyy, I can do better!" and leaped out of the ring on a spill of his own. The finish was utter brilliance too. Mysterio landed a 619, making everyone think he was going to win, and then the counter to the Tadpole Splash (lol, love that call) was just the best way to end the match. Seriously, anyone who says WWE doesn't give you wrestling is full of shit.

The post-match stuff worked for me too. John Cena, although many could say that he was hypocritically (although could that be the point?), spat fire, and it was intense and effective.

Of course, RAW wasn't all peaches and cream. Specifically, the Riley/Swagger match segment was dreadful. Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler bickering didn't click for me (although I appreciated where it was going). Dumping on JR was lame. The match sucked, and yeah, Riley clearly sandbagged Swagger at the end. Credit to Swagger for handling it like a pro and still coming out looking all beast mode, but still, Riley is either a dick (not likely) or just showing how green he is still (more likely). I will say this; the finish of that match made me appreciate that they're maybe going for a Swagger/Ziggler feud in the near future with Swagger moving in on Vickie in the next segment.

All in all, a solid if unspectacular show. They still kept me interested, and the main event was boss though, so yeah, it was more win than loss for me.

WWE Celebrating the 4th of July... in the Southern Hemisphere?

I could get used to seeing this every Fourth of July or on a date somewhere near there
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Eighteen years ago yesterday, the then-WWF held one of the most iconic events in the fed's history. Yokozuna held an open challenge to any American to see if they could bodyslam his 500+ lbs. frame on the USS Intrepid, docked in New York City. It was a foreigner looking to shame Americans on a national landmark, no less. While competitor after competitor failed, the final one, Lex Luger, manned up for the Red, White and Blue and slammed that smug sumo right on his ass. It was a special event for a special holiday, and even though Luger never materialized as the megastar Vince McMahon hoped he'd be after that, it still resonates through WWE's history as something special for a company that purports to love America.

In the grand tradition of that event, WWE spent Independence Day yesterday either doing house shows in or being en route to house shows in the Southern Hemisphere... wait, what? Yes, RAW was on tour in Australia, while Smackdown was gearing up to make South Africa their home for the next week. For a company that very much considers itself part of the heritage of this nation (and for better or worse, they definitely are), for them to tape a show to air on the 4th of July a week before and be out of the country on that date is a little disappointing. Granted, I don't think they should be called to the carpet and have Toby Keith feebly attempt to write a scathing song about their lack of patriotism, but I think on any working holiday they have, they should spend it in the States.

I don't know what the reasoning for their touring schedule was. Maybe it was coincidence. Maybe these were the only times that were convenient for them to visit Australia and South Africa. WWE is a global company, and I'm glad that they travel to all corners of the world. The more I have in common with people around the world, the easier it is for me to gain an audience on here or to talk about if/when I travel abroad. Yeah, I'm selfish. Deal with it.

The thing is, the WWE prides itself on being part of the American fabric. They proved it last night, with Sgt. Slaughter and Jack SWAGGAH~! fighting over the right to say the Pledge of Allegiance, or with their emphasis on honoring the military each year. It's baffling why they wouldn't want to celebrate the Fourth with their native fans.

I also want to say that I'm not mad at how things are. I mean, we got a really good show last night, and hey, when you boil it all down a date is a date, I guess. That people in other countries get to enjoy WWE is the important thing. At the same time though, I look back at that date on the Intrepid and think, wow, that was a great way to tie into the spirit of the holiday without looking too obsequious or patronizing to the country and the sense of patriotism we feel on that day. I knwo they won't deliver on that moment every year, but if they try (but not too hard), then maybe they have some kind of tradition that keeps going every year.

I dunno, I guess I have more pride in being an American than I thought. It's great that we share one of our longstanding producers of entertainment with the rest of the world. It really is. However, I can't help but feel a bit wistful when we don't get to have just one day for this country. Maybe it'd be a bit better if a top-line indie fed stepped up to fill that tradition, but either way, pro wrestling is something that we Americans do a certain way, and that tradition has become as American as baseball. I think WWE should step up and take that mantel for themselves.

Instant Feedback: John Cena, a Real American Hero

Usually, whenever they tape two RAWs at the same time, the second show is flat, the crowd sucks and nothing really ever happens. Reading some of the spoilers for this show, my hopes weren't high. But that's the thing about spoilers; usually, they only tell part of the story. Verily, tonight's RAW was awesome from top to bottom. How fitting that in this year of upside-down and inside-out that the show that was taped after one two-hour show was among the best of the year, eh?

A lot of that comes from John Cena. He is counted on as WWE's workhorse and their top star, but sometimes, he can come off as trite or insincere. When he does, it makes for bad television. Tonight, he sounded sincere. His promo to kick the show off was about as good as I remember him being. When he's out there, standing up for Hustle, Loyalty and Respect, he is a tremendous, must-see character. Him standing up for his rival, for free speech and for the integrity of the match was riveting and the perfect way to kick off RAW. Even more stunning was his faceoff with Vince McMahon at the end of the show. Let's not get it twisted. McMahon was good in that segment, but Cena carried it. So much forceful emotion... when he feels genuine, I see why he's the top guy in WWE. IT didn't matter to me that they teased another firing, even if they teased and followed through with it to rushed results (even if I thought the story they told with him and Nexus/Wade Barrett was good in theory). The tension of the segment would have sold me on the PPV if I wasn't already sold on it before any match was announced.

And the bookends weren't the only things that sold this show on me. The wrestling was good, even if it wasn't spectacular. The segment with Evan Bourne, Sgt. Slaughter and Jack SWAGGAH~! was epic, especially with Swagger bringing up Sarge's early '90s defection to Iraq. R-Truth on the phone with Flo and plugging the wrong insurance company was epic. Alex Riley winning with a backslide and then Miz doing everything but teabagging him was fitting. Hell, even the Divas got time and had a decent match, which for them was akin to Savage/Steamboat from WM III.

And hey... ZACK RYDER SIGHTING! Here's hoping he and Curt Hawkins, or Chris Masters, or even his father get a shot at the Tag Pennies and more exposure on my RAW program.

For whatever reason, RAW clicked tonight, all 125 minutes of it. Looks like summer is heating up for WWE.

Wrestling Oddsmakers: RAW's Money in the Bank Match

Will del Rio accessorize his cars with a briefcase?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's that time of the year again, wrestling fans! Money in the Bank is a scant two-and-a-half weeks away, and the lineup for the RAW match was announced this past Monday. Here it is, as follows:

• Alberto del Rio
• Alex Riley
• Evan Bourne
• Jack SWAGGAH~!
• Kofi Kingston
• The Miz
• R-Truth
• Rey Mysterio

That's a very interesting lineup, one that will provide some MitB experience, some fresh faces, a gallery of guys who, with the exception of Miz and maybe Mysterio, would feel fresh in the title scene and with Bourne, Kingston and Rey, guys who know how to bring fireworks to a match like this. While I have little doubt this match will deliver, I'm not sure who's going to win. There are a few good choices, but rather than just singling those guys out, why not give odds for everyone, starting with the longest shot and going down to the favorite? Here goes:

Alex Riley
Odds: 500-1

I think WWE likes A-Ry. I really do. He wouldn't be getting this full-faith push if they didn't. I like him too. I think he's got great character chops and if he gets a polish on his ring work, he'll be a good fit for the main event. However, I'll be utterly shocked if he walks away with the briefcase here. It's too soon, and I think they realize it too. Yeah, they're giving him a lot of heat in his feud with Miz, but at the same time, that kind of thing can be a red herring. I mean, look at Kofi after his feud where we all thought he was "made" against Randy Orton. Again, Riley's awesome right now, and he'll get his time in the sun. That time just isn't now.

Evan Bourne
Odds: 250-1

This match is why Bourne is on the roster and probably will remain on the roster. He'll always get prominently featured in it, thanks mostly to the urging of his friends in WWE like John Cena and Randy Orton, but once it's over, management goes back to having him bump for big guys and do his Air Bourne on Superstars. It's a shame, because much like Mysterio, Bourne is fucking exciting to watch, man. While I'll be rooting my hardest for him to win this match, I think those cries will end up being in vain.

Kofi Kingston
Odds: 75-1

If this Money in the Bank were held in December of 2009, then I'd be all-in on Kofi winning. But much like I mentioned before, he's lost his mojo and hasn't really gotten it back, unless being in a perpetual feud with Dolph Ziggler that seems to be personal hell of one Brandon Stroud counts as mojo (hint: it doesn't). Then again, what other face on the RAW side than Cena and Mysterio get the kind of pops that Kofi even still gets? Not John Morrison, he's hurt anyway. I mean, I don't see him winning, but at the same time, I thought that Swagger didn't have a chance in hell in the last WM MitB match, did I?

Jack Swagger
Odds: 40-1

Speaking of SWAGGAH BOMBU~!, this is his first MitB match since that aforementioned briefcase snagging at WrestleMania XXVI. That led to him not being in Smackdown's match last year because he was trying to regain the World Championship from Rey Mysterio. I'm hesitant to say he has a great shot because he's been jobbing to Bourne a lot lately, but then again, they seem to like to break guys down before giving them the briefcase, don't they? Plus, he still has that broken association with Michael Cole going for him, which would segue nice into an angle. He's middling at best, but I give him a better than 50-1 chance because hey, I've been burned once before.

R-Truth
Odds: 25-1

You would think that Truth would be a favorite for this match, given that he's fresh off a WWE Championship opportunity, right? Well no, I'm not sure if that's the case, given that WWE and I seem to be on a similar wavelength as to how to keep Truf fresh and interesting. Sure, Money in the Bank would be a great way to circumvent a conspiracy theory against him, but at the same time, why not have circumstance "screw" Truth here like it did at Capitol Punishment, when he done got got by Little Jimmy? At the same time though, he is a prior contender with a beef with Cena, so he's still more viable than the bottom half of the odds sheet.

Rey Mysterio
Odds: 10-1

Mysterio is always hurt, begging for vacation or if you believe the nebulous sources within WWE, is ready to either retire or take a break. So why give him these kinds of odds? Well, he's probably the most over guy in the match, face or heel, for one. Two, him winning gives them the option of realistically having a cash-in be predetermined because hey, he's an honorable face... stop snickering! Faces still act honor... okay, you win. Still, any match where he's in, he's gotta be a favorite to win.

The Miz
Odds: 5-1

It would be old hat, but in a way, it's a propos, right? Miz has the preeminent experience given his big win last year with a better field (or at least one that had Orton in it), plus WWE is known to do a repeat result. They did it with CM Punk directly, and with Edge, I'm sure they were wishing they'd have had him win two briefcases in a row in the MitB match rather than having to beat Mr. Glass Kennedy for his second one. Also, it sets up an intriguing story where Miz is the first to fail at cashing in, be it clean or through A-Ry-generated shenanigans.

Alberto del Rio
Odds: Even Money

It's his DESTINY. Well, we all thought it was his destiny after winning the Royal Rumble, but he was struck by a Smooth Criminal Rated R Superstar in what turned out to be his last match ever. Such is life. However, you don't get to win the Royal Rumble and not be high on their list, so an ADR title reign is inevitable, right? Plus, he's got Cena at SummerSlam, or at least that's the plan according to an interview he did. There are many different ways this could be set up, but I'm thinking a rematch clause after del Rio takes out Cena, who would have just taken out CM Punk, at that very show, would be the most logical one...

...baaaaht... chu already knew that. *wink*

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

I Want Jack Swagger vs. Dolph Ziggler

Good partner for Swagger, but better adversary?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Steve Austin was all over RAW Monday, and while his interaction with CM Punk got all the headlines and teased everyone's sense of inner markdom, arguably his most important segment came when Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero came into his office begging for a United States Championship shot. Austin granted it to him conditionally, as long as Guerrero wouldn't accompany him to the ring for his shot. He accepted. I didn't take it for a face turn, but it was a pretty telling tease, at least at the time.

Then, in the next segment, Ziggler came out for a match, followed immediately by Jack Swagger. Not really realizing that it could have been a tag match, I got really excited, thinking they really were turning Ziggler and we were getting a match between two of the best workers in WWE today. Well, it was a tag match, and it was good, so my excitement wasn't dampened for nothing. However, watching Ziggler take Kofi down during the match with an amateur-style double-arm takeover, it did nothing to sate my thirst for a match between the two blond-haired midcard heel standouts.

We all know Swagger's amateur background. It's part of his character. We're reminded of Ziggler's time at Kent State from time to time, but it's not obnoxiously pointed out. However, that background is there. I think for that reason, the two would mesh well. Then again, I'm a mark for chain wrestling, so maybe my view is skewed. But you know what? Chain wrestling, amateur stuff and the catch-as-catch-can style is pretty neat to watch. And it's my blog.

Even after that process is over, both guys are more than capable of bringing it in the ring. Again, they're two of the best workers in the company. I'm hoping they follow through on a face turn at Capitol Punishment just so I can see this series. Call me a dork, but hey, I know what I like.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Booker T and the Case of Unmitigated Nostalgia

Spinaroonis in stereo
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So, Booker T got back into a WWE ring for the first time since the Royal Rumble and the first time in a singles match in what, five years? He defeated Jack Swagger after the All-American American American American American American American American American American got himself intentionally counted out, but the result of the match really was immaterial to me. The fact that he wrestled again is what counts here. Well, that and that he and Evan Bourne did a Spinarooni in the middle of the ring after the match. That was pretty cool.

I guess I'm just glad to see Book back in WWE. OF all the guys that went to TNA, Booker to me seemed like the guy who fit in the least. I don't care if you think he's annoying on commentary on Smackdown, I love it. And I loved seeing him in the ring Monday. SUCKA!

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs: Characters in Need of a Reboot

Goofy is good with Drew
Photo Credit: WWE.com

In honor of the features reboot this week, here are six wrestlers whose characters could use reboots. These are otherwise upstanding wrestlers who may feel stale, lost in the shuffle or at the natural end of the current character they have, and they range across the spectrum of feds. Here goes:

1. Drew McIntyre

Ah yes, Drew McIntyre, he's the man who won our hearts over this past year with his amazing in-ring acumen, yes. However, his character still remains as dull as dishwater. He needs a jolt, but what can he do? If only there was some video footage of him showing off some kind of natural charisma... oh wait, there totally is! Talk about a total miscast. I would keep the name "The Chosen One", only instead of making it as some pompous, hand-picked scion of Vince McMahon, he's the "The Chosen One... for Hire". Yep, as an eccentric hitman type, McIntyre takes on jobs for really anyone who has a problem, which obviously will be mostly for heels, but with really quirky demands and an outrageous personality. Think of him as a goofy badass, like Kurt Angle before he decided he was going to be ZOMG SERIOUS MMA AMATEUR WRESTLER WITH HIP HOP THEME SONG AND SUCH. I think if anyone pulls that archetype off, it could be McIntyre.

2. STIGMA

His partnership with Vin Gerard is over, and there's really no way he can continue on as STIGMA. The logical stepping point would be a retread back to the days of Shayne Storm, but I think it's clear that Mike Quackenbush won't be so forgiving. I'd play him off as some sort of ronin-type character, a tecnico-by-design, but a guy who doesn't really align himself with anyone. Kinda like Eddie Kingston for that short period between when he ditched the Roughnecks and joined the Chikara resistance against the BDK. He goes around atoning for his betrayal of the tecnicos by doing good deeds and random acts of penance but without really asking for or receiving any benefits. It would eventually lead to his reunion with Quack, but I'd like to see the story unfold that way.

3. Ted DiBiase

The obvious call would be him going face, whether as just a "regular" character or as a self-made man, a totally opposite to what his father was all about, much like Cody Rhodes is almost nothing like his blue-collar father was like now. I say there's still heel ground for him to stomp on. I say keep using his "richness" as a character point, but instead of a whiny trust-fund baby, he'd now be a "facilitator". Think of him as a weapons-dealer, or a crime boss. If a guy needs a sneak attack without being culpable, DiBiase's his man. If someone needs a tag partner, DiBiase gets him that tag partner. Good quality, high-grade weapons? The ability to frame someone for an attack? The possibilities are endless here. He could even work with McIntyre as his personal "independent contractor" for some hits, which would lead into a feud or angle between the two later on down the line.

4. Jack Swagger

I feel like the All-American American stuff has run its course. I love seeing him do the push-ups, and I think that'd remain an awesome part of his in-ring repertoire as a taunt, but I think Swagger's character needs to "grow up" a bit. I always liked how fearsome and stoic he looks in a suit, just towering over people and giving that steely gaze that says "I'm gonna fuck you up" without actually saying it. Therefore, I'd propose he becomes the anonymous RAW GM's hired muscle. We're already seeing the GM lose a bit of control over his program, so I think he should start enforcing his law with Swagger acting as his consigliere, or his enforcer if you will. It would be great as a sort of allegory for a totalitarian police state, and it could actually be a spark for heat between Cole and the GM, as of course, Cole doesn't like Swagger anymore.

5. Samoa Joe
6. Alex Shelley

I'm bunching these guys together because they tie into a similar, conjoined idea. Comic books have proven to be a great trove of source material for pro wrestling angles. Chikara has proven that time and time again. I propose the idea of making both these guys guerrilla warriors, Joe because fuck, his character needs it, and Shelley because his partner's hurt and it fits the narrative in Impact Wrestling. They'd be two differing guerrillas though. Joe would become Impact's Joker, a guy who causes chaos just to, as Alfred so eloquently described in The Dark Knight, "watch the world burn". Shelley, conversely, would be a freedom fighter, like V in V for Vendetta. His attacks would be strategic against Bischoff, Immortal, Hogan.

The attacks would start out anonymously by both, with one person being blamed for all of them. Then, over the next weeks, there'd be anonymous claimings of responsibility, investigations and what not. Joe as an agent of chaos could spawn a story of "who would stop him?", while Shelley would then be positioned as one of the top stars in Impact in his quest to topple the corrupt regime. They could intersect, with Shelley getting pissed that Joe's chaos is just that, and it's ruining his purpose. There is so much potential with this dynamic it's not even funny...

...then again, it's still TNA at heart, so this would be the pipeyest of pipe dreams. Still, I think it would work.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Instant Feedback: Memorable Memorial Day

If you excuse the technical difficulties and the uncharacteristic clunkiness of the Ziggler/Kofi match, this might have been a pitch-perfect RAW. Just amazing how much of what they did right. I mean, I'm buying more and more of R-Truth as a clinically insane guy one felony away from Arkham Asylum each week, and John Cena this week was a perfect canvas to play off of. Seriously, the main event and overrun were amazing television. Imagine that, Cena gets outsmarted and bothered, and it's great TV. Hmm....

The thing with RAW is that whenever the wrestling is good, the show tends to be better. Let's ignore the US non-title match to start; again, everyone has an off-night, even Dolph Ziggler. The Divas are a non-starter anymore, so I won't even bitch about them here (Although I will later in the week). They gave us a good bit of good wrestling this week. Punk vs. Rey? Awesome. Bourne vs. Swagger? Awesome x 2. Cena vs. Truf? Okay although with a VERY clever finish.

But it wasn't just the wrestling that was good this week. They continued building Alex Riley to the point where I think they may have a burgeoning star on their hands with him. I mean, they are playing the right strings with him, very reminiscent of the Flair/Perfect/Heenan turn saga in 1992. They're actually building an honest-to-God wrestling feud sub-the main event with Evan Bourne and Jack Swagger. They had a match with a clean finish last week, extracurriculars afterwards and then a clean, traded upset win this week? And then the finish to the main event, with Truf doing perhaps the best thing he's ever done and ever will do in WWE, throwing the soda into the face of the fan he was taunting at the top of the show? Holy shit, so good.

But the capper was Kharma's segment. First off, warmest congratulations to Kia Stevens, the person, for her pregnancy. As an expecting father, it's the best feeling in the world to be bringing life into the world. Second, it was amazing they let Kharma, the character, go out there and cut a heartfelt promo. Did it ruin Kharma's mystique? Yeah, it might have. Would it have been better to have her cold-cock Michael Cole or do something else that would have elicited a suspension? Maybe. Were the obviously baiting bully comments by the Bellas over the top? Given that they were the heels in the situation, no. Was it stupid for Lawler to come to Kharma's defense when he was doing the same thing to Vickie Guerrero even earlier in the show? Definitely.

That being said, I thought the segment worked and it was way better than I had expected it to be. It also gives them an earnest babyface that connected with the crowd to bring back in the future. Just the cap on a RAW that was unusually awesome tonight.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!