This Week in DVR: So Much Stroke *Gag*

Christian, Master of All He Surveys
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I watched what I couldn't watch live on my DVR and on the Internet this week. Here's what stood out:

Matches:

Cutler Bros. (Dustin and Brandon) vs. the RockNES Monsters (Johnny Goodtime and Johnny Yuma), best 2 out of 3 falls, on NWA Hollywood - I thought that the match ending in a no-contest was a bit weak. That being said, I still thought it was entertaining, especially the brawl post match that went out onto LaBrea Boulevard. Good tag work, and the second fall was a really good display of face in peril by Goodtime.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd on Superstars - Really cool match. I like that Superstars has become the exposition area for Kidd, because he's a promising worker and gets better each week. This week, we had a clinic in working over the leg, and Tatsu again got the win with an out-of-nowhere kick. I like the flash finishes, although call me crazy, but they're running this Kidd-needs-a-manager angle and they don't even have the managers trying to interfere in the matches? Eh, either way, this was a really good match.

Daniel Bryan and Sin Cara vs. Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes on Smackdown - As groan-inducing as the genesis of this match was, the action itself was really good. Sin Cara's offensive maneuvering was kept to a minimum, with what he did do looking impressive. Bryan, obviously, carried the match for his team from an offensive standpoint. I continue to be impressed with how well Cara is picking up the selling side of the WWE game. Both heels were pretty good in their roles. The finish was really nice. I love how they're putting over the LeBell lock as a move that could be hit anywhere. I thought they were going to have Bryan get the win with the guillotine choke, but I liked the segue into the LeBell Lock anyway.

Shows:

NWA Hollywood - The wrestling on the show was a bit disappointing outside of the main event. That being said, it was still a fun show, especially the antics of Disco Machine. I loved his spot where he went for the test of strength with Todd Chandler and ended up turning it into a disco-dancing spot. Where has he been all my life? Not a whole lot in the way of angle advancement here either, but that's okay, since next week we'll be starting the Be the Star Tournament.

Superstars - I thought it was funny that they turned the Mark Henry rib into an angle with Johnny Curtis refusing to come out. Might as well make lemonade out of lemons, especially since it was a dick move to fuck with Henry and that crowd with the original rib anyway. Other than that and the main event, I thought Superstars was off this week. Not even Chris Masters could make JTG look good, and really, any multi-Divas match that DOESN'T include Nattie, AJ or Beth Phoenix takes a miracle to be good.

Impact - Why does everything have to be so shooty? Why do there have to be legal storylines? Why is nearly every tag team broken up within minutes of forming? Why is the main heat mechanism for the Knockouts involve them calling each other bitches and sluts and whores? I don't know why I bother anymore. Seriously, when the World Champion is talking about keeping his belt, not to be the best in his company, but to keep his "stroke" against the two NPC authority figures, you know the "wrestling matters" tagline is a lie.

Smackdown - The show was a bit flat this week, which is especially surprising because it was wrestling heavy. Whenever any WWE show has a lot of long matches, it's usually good. I thought the only real standout match was the tag match. The main event was good but it went on too long and really didn't grab me until the very end when Christian got involved. Then there's this Jinder Mahal business... eh, he's okay, but right now, the character side of him is definitely stronger. I really am not feeling the Corre breakup either.

That being said, the main event angle with Christian and Randy Orton is really strong. This is the best feud in WWE right now, and the best main event feud they've had since before John Cena got "fired" after Survivor Series. It's so simple, but it works. Christian really does bring out the best in everyone, because even Orton was cutting some lively promos for the first time in awhile. The only thing I'm not feeling is that I don't want to boo Christian. I don't want to boo Orton either, well, I don't want to boo him for anything that I didn't already want to boo him for. The real heel here is Teddy Long. Christian is absolutely right. But hey, I'm not the guy they want to boo Captain Charisma, so as long as the story's good, and it has been so far, I'm alright.

Oh, and in case you're wondering where NXT went, I'm done with that shit. It's not worth watching at all to me. Follow folks on Twitter like @ThingsColeSays for your NXT fix, as they have WAY more patience with that show than I do. They do God's work here, people.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs: Characters in Need of a Reboot

Goofy is good with Drew
Photo Credit: WWE.com

In honor of the features reboot this week, here are six wrestlers whose characters could use reboots. These are otherwise upstanding wrestlers who may feel stale, lost in the shuffle or at the natural end of the current character they have, and they range across the spectrum of feds. Here goes:

1. Drew McIntyre

Ah yes, Drew McIntyre, he's the man who won our hearts over this past year with his amazing in-ring acumen, yes. However, his character still remains as dull as dishwater. He needs a jolt, but what can he do? If only there was some video footage of him showing off some kind of natural charisma... oh wait, there totally is! Talk about a total miscast. I would keep the name "The Chosen One", only instead of making it as some pompous, hand-picked scion of Vince McMahon, he's the "The Chosen One... for Hire". Yep, as an eccentric hitman type, McIntyre takes on jobs for really anyone who has a problem, which obviously will be mostly for heels, but with really quirky demands and an outrageous personality. Think of him as a goofy badass, like Kurt Angle before he decided he was going to be ZOMG SERIOUS MMA AMATEUR WRESTLER WITH HIP HOP THEME SONG AND SUCH. I think if anyone pulls that archetype off, it could be McIntyre.

2. STIGMA

His partnership with Vin Gerard is over, and there's really no way he can continue on as STIGMA. The logical stepping point would be a retread back to the days of Shayne Storm, but I think it's clear that Mike Quackenbush won't be so forgiving. I'd play him off as some sort of ronin-type character, a tecnico-by-design, but a guy who doesn't really align himself with anyone. Kinda like Eddie Kingston for that short period between when he ditched the Roughnecks and joined the Chikara resistance against the BDK. He goes around atoning for his betrayal of the tecnicos by doing good deeds and random acts of penance but without really asking for or receiving any benefits. It would eventually lead to his reunion with Quack, but I'd like to see the story unfold that way.

3. Ted DiBiase

The obvious call would be him going face, whether as just a "regular" character or as a self-made man, a totally opposite to what his father was all about, much like Cody Rhodes is almost nothing like his blue-collar father was like now. I say there's still heel ground for him to stomp on. I say keep using his "richness" as a character point, but instead of a whiny trust-fund baby, he'd now be a "facilitator". Think of him as a weapons-dealer, or a crime boss. If a guy needs a sneak attack without being culpable, DiBiase's his man. If someone needs a tag partner, DiBiase gets him that tag partner. Good quality, high-grade weapons? The ability to frame someone for an attack? The possibilities are endless here. He could even work with McIntyre as his personal "independent contractor" for some hits, which would lead into a feud or angle between the two later on down the line.

4. Jack Swagger

I feel like the All-American American stuff has run its course. I love seeing him do the push-ups, and I think that'd remain an awesome part of his in-ring repertoire as a taunt, but I think Swagger's character needs to "grow up" a bit. I always liked how fearsome and stoic he looks in a suit, just towering over people and giving that steely gaze that says "I'm gonna fuck you up" without actually saying it. Therefore, I'd propose he becomes the anonymous RAW GM's hired muscle. We're already seeing the GM lose a bit of control over his program, so I think he should start enforcing his law with Swagger acting as his consigliere, or his enforcer if you will. It would be great as a sort of allegory for a totalitarian police state, and it could actually be a spark for heat between Cole and the GM, as of course, Cole doesn't like Swagger anymore.

5. Samoa Joe
6. Alex Shelley

I'm bunching these guys together because they tie into a similar, conjoined idea. Comic books have proven to be a great trove of source material for pro wrestling angles. Chikara has proven that time and time again. I propose the idea of making both these guys guerrilla warriors, Joe because fuck, his character needs it, and Shelley because his partner's hurt and it fits the narrative in Impact Wrestling. They'd be two differing guerrillas though. Joe would become Impact's Joker, a guy who causes chaos just to, as Alfred so eloquently described in The Dark Knight, "watch the world burn". Shelley, conversely, would be a freedom fighter, like V in V for Vendetta. His attacks would be strategic against Bischoff, Immortal, Hogan.

The attacks would start out anonymously by both, with one person being blamed for all of them. Then, over the next weeks, there'd be anonymous claimings of responsibility, investigations and what not. Joe as an agent of chaos could spawn a story of "who would stop him?", while Shelley would then be positioned as one of the top stars in Impact in his quest to topple the corrupt regime. They could intersect, with Shelley getting pissed that Joe's chaos is just that, and it's ruining his purpose. There is so much potential with this dynamic it's not even funny...

...then again, it's still TNA at heart, so this would be the pipeyest of pipe dreams. Still, I think it would work.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

The One Where TH and Jason Mann Lament the Slow Death of the Abdominal Stretch

Via Wrestlespective Radio

The latest edition of Wrestlespective Radio has dropped, and surprise surprise, it features me! Yep, Jason Mann and I talk about the main event to SummerSlam 1988, the Mega Bucks team of Andre the Giant and Ted DiBiase (seconded by Virgil and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan) taking on the Mega Powers of Hulk Hogan and yes, "Macho Man" Randy Savage (seconded by Miss Elizabeth). We break the match down, as well as veer off into side discussions like why heels don't do subtle illegal submissions anymore and how much Ted DiBiase, Jr. works like his father. It's good listen, so listen!

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Legacy: The Feud

Yes, please.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

When Legacy broke up, I was convinced that Cody Rhodes would be a bit player in the WWE until he left for acting or something like that and that Ted DiBiase would be the next big thing. I was initially wrong about both. Rhodes has shocked and amazed me, and he's turned into one of the brightest prospects in WWE. DiBiase, conversely, has disappointed since his split from Rhodes and Randy Orton. You could argue that he didn't get much help from Creative, but at the same time, more than a few people have noticed a lack of spark from El Hijo del Hombre del Millones de Dólares.

While some have completely soured on Ted Jr., I certainly have not. I still see something in him that projects as a good hand in the future. I mean, he never really was a bad worker. Even in his doldrums, he was having good matches with guys such as Goldust and Daniel Bryan. Yeah, yeah, I know, a sack full of wet dog shit could have good matches with those two, but again, it didn't seem to me like DiBiase was being carried. It was in his character and promo delivery that didn't connect with people. After seeing him put in some good work on the stick between his debut and the Legacy stable's demise, I was disappointed and a bit surprised at the malaise shown by DiBiase. A change of scenery could do him well, I thought.

Well, he got the nominal change in scenery by moving to the Blue Brand, and right out of the gate, they paired him with his former tag partner Rhodes. The way things have been going the last few weeks, it looks as if DiBiase may get a face turn out of it as well. Talk about a makeover.

If he does go face, what better opponent could he have in a feud than his former partner? Rhodes has evolved so much in the last year that now he's a Charizard and knows Flamethrower he's become one of the best, if not the best, promo in the WWE. Of all potential feuds that sit in front of me right now as a viewer of Smackdown, that's the most tantalizing. Not only would it be a chance for Teddy Jr. to be reinvigorated as a character, but I think there's a good story there. You've got the dynamic between a tag team that split up to differing results. You've got daddy issues going on (Cody's complicit acceptance of his father's dastardly deeds as opposed to Ted's refusal to accept help from his father). Orton could get woven into the fray, especially if there are plans to inject Ted as a cog in a future Orton/Rhodes WHC feud.

Given that Smackdown also seems to have a better (slightly better albeit) track record of developing sub-main event feuds, I have high hopes for this. They have big plans for Cody Rhodes it seems, and I do think that they want to salvage DiBiase. It's not really all that out of the ordinary to think this feud could deliver if it happens.

But man, I hope it does happen.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

This Week in DVR, Part 1: A Rare RAW Appearance

A Legacy Reunion!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

NOTE Due to time constraints and such, I'm splitting this in half. RAW, Smackdown and Impact will come in this report, and the Internet shows of NWA Hollywood, NXT and Superstars will come tomorrow.

I watched what I missed while on vacation on DVR. Here's what stood out:

Matches

CM Punk vs. Kofi Kingston on RAW - I can't be the only one who thinks that Kingston is improving each week, right? Then again, he was in there with one of the three best workers in the WWE, so yeah. Nice little match. I disagree with the booking, but hey, maybe I should resign myself to the fact that the WWE doesn't care about its secondary titles.

Alberto del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio on RAW - This shouldn't be surprising. Mysterio and ADR could probably turn out a watchable match in their sleep at this point. The finish was a bit disappointing, but it had to set up a PPV match between R-Truth and Rey Mysterio without hurting the Golden One, so yeah, it worked.

John Cena vs. Jack Swagger on RAW - Say what you want about SuperCena, and many of you already do ad nauseam, but the guy still knows how to work a great main event match. This was a good example of that fact. Yeah, it might not have fit with Swagger quitting on Cole earlier in the night, but yeah, at least the action was good.

Christian vs. Sheamus on Smackdown - Christian doesn't wrestle bad matches. Ever. So when he's in there with a good worker, one against whom he's worked before? Yeah, it's the kind of mojo that makes a Smackdown curtain jerking match feel like a real, main event battle. I think what stood out for me here were the near falls and kick outs, which came right at the last possible second and gave the match a real big time feel. I also liked Sheamus tossing Christian into the ring while Captain Charisma was on the apron towards the beginning of the match. Good stuff.

Daniel Bryan vs. Chavo Guerrero on Smackdown - Great little designed sprint that put over Chavo's jealousy and bravado. I liked both Bryan's resolve and Chavo's arrogance, especially at the end with the deliberate execution of the Tres Amigos and the frogsplash, coupled with the shock at Bryan kicking out. It did its job.

Shows

Monday Night RAW - Eh, this was an above-average go-home effort for Over the Edge. Nothing really offensive, but at the same time, it didn't wow me either. I'm not a huge fan of contract signings, but the wrestling was decent at least.

Impact - I'm so sick of the worked shoot angles. Seriously, Ric Flair coming out and calling out Bobby Roode because he injured him at Lockdown? Really guys, we're pulling out vague references to real life injuries for shit that happened in a worked match in a worked environment in a heated feud? Oh yeah, and wrestling really matters when Matt Hardy is able to beat the Young Bucks (not using their slave names here out of protest) by himself as a vehicle to get a feud between the X-Division and Eric Bischoff over, a feud that I'll be SHOCKED if it has a meaningful payoff? Yeah guys, wrestling really matters. I'm so over this show. I will say this, the Anderson-as-Sting ruse to close the show was pretty nice.

Smackdown - This was a really good show, a much better build towards the PPV than RAW was. I really liked the interplay between Christian and Randy Orton, even if Orton was a big jerk. /kayfabe The whole main angle, with Mark Henry and Sheamus involved, was very well-done. I have to say, I was a HUGE fan of the PiP promo by Sheamus before his match with Christian. Holy shit, it was random, but it was welcome, and I hope they do more of that on the show.

I also really, really dug the interplay with Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase. I'm hoping that there's a good story embedded there, because I really think that there's a complete package with Ted Jr. A proper feud between the two former Legacy minions could be really hot, and I think on Smackdown, with the more old-school approach, it could be done well. Hell, I even dug the Khali stuff. I mean, it's not even Khali who makes any segment he's in work, it's that he's such a great blank canvas. They made him interesting as a cog in the Cena/Nexus feud, and I really like how Jinder Mahal is playing off him to make the segment work. Now, of course I don't want to see him wrestle, but hey, if all he does is chop guys in the dome and do the Punjabi Plunge while Mahal does the heavy lifting, I can deal with it.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!