Wrestling Six Packs: Folks Who Should Be Managers

Grating as an announcer, but great as a manager?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Delayed from last night because I was trying to concentrate on Smackdown. Anyway, WWE seems to be trying to bring back some old tropes. Tag teams are one thing, and managers are looking to be another one. Vickie Guerrero is courting Jack Swagger, and although it will come at the expense of her business relationship with Dolph Ziggler. Dreams of having a stable of wrestlers dashed, but at least WWE is acknowledging that the managerial itch is one that needs scratching. Here are six people who are ideal for being managers in WWE.

1. Michael Cole

This is the easiest thing to do in the whole company right now. Cole has the annoying bombast down, but it's not getting anyone over from the broadcast booth. The only thing he's doing is making people tune out. A change in role would do a world of change for Cole. As an announcer calling Daniel Bryan a NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDD, he's only reinforcing the narrative that Bryan is a nerd and really isn't worth anything. By calling him that as a manager for, say, Tyson Kidd? He's giving Bryan extra incentive to kick Kidd's ass and possibly get his hands on Cole as well. Simple things.

2. Matt Striker

He's another guy who was a misfit. As an announcer, all he did was bluster and pump out his pomposity. He never developed chemistry with any of his broadcast partners, and whether that manifested itself in snarky replies or dead air, it was bad. However, as a manager, it's that kind of bluster that can generate heat for his charges. Plus, as a former wrestler, he can take a bump and deliver a resolution in that regard.

3. Bob Backlund

I know what you're thinking. Backlund really wasn't known for his mic work as much as he was known for his acumen in the ring and his crazy, emotive action outside of it after he turned on Bret Hart in 1994. However, I think there's value in having him as a good guy manager in the vein of Jose Lothario for Shawn Michaels. Lothario didn't say anything, and really didn't need to. He was there to add gravitas to Michaels as a legitimate wrestler. Backlund, with his success in two different eras as a wrestler, could provide that kind of equity for someone who's clawing up the card and needs to "improve" in the ring.

4. Sunny

Cougar war! Sunny used to be a manager, and she has kept her looks over the years. Bringing her back as a counterweight to Vickie Guerrero would provide a great idea for an intermediary feud. Imagine the two in an arms race. Team Vickie vs. Team Sunny at Survivor Series. Competitions over which stable can accrue more gold. It virtually writes itself.

5. JBL

A Million Dollar Man for a new generation. They teased him being a financial manager with his Shawn Michaels-owes-him-money angle, but they ended it with the end of the angle. Again, he's a guy who can bump, and he has a LETHAL weapon in the Clothesline from Hell.

6. Mike Sanders

This one seems out of left field. Sanders? Where has he been? Didn't he leave WWE under dubious circumstances before? Well, none of that matters because when I see Sanders, I see a guy who could fit the Shane McMahon managerial archetype without bringing back Shane-O-Mac in an active role, the spry, bouncy manager who was always moving, always looking to cheat for his charges. Plus, he has the mic skills, which is a huge plus for a manager.

Wrestling Six Packs: WWE Tag Teams I Want to See

Is there a reunion in order?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So, WWE wants to build a tag team division, eh? It seems like they're heading in that direction, giving the Tag Team Championships to the team of Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston. Meanwhile, The Miz and R-Truth seem to have sprouted up an alliance. There are other teams they can put together to build a good division along with the Nexus, the Usos and any team that's incoming, whether it be Los Aviadores, the Rotundo Boys, the Kings of Wrestling or whoever is coming in as a team. Here are six teams I'd like to see, using the current roster.

1. Zack Ryder and Curt Hawkins

Is it cheating to put these two together? Who cares? We're talking tag teams, so why not reunite the Edgeheads and start off ahead of the curve? Yeah, Ryder's kind of a good guy, and Hawkins, back when he was actually seen on TV last, was a heel, but hey, I'm sure Hawkins would get residual cheers just being associated with his broski.

2. Tyson Kidd and Skip Sheffield

They had a good idea by putting Kidd with a big dude as a "bodyguard", but the execution of it was terrible. Jackson Andrews? Really? Skip Sheffield, when he finally fully heals, is a hoss who is actually really good and won't end up getting shipped off within two weeks. Kidd playing cat and mouse, taunting the babyfaces only to have them run into the meaty hambone of a fist of Sheffield.

3. Drew McIntyre and Jack Swagger, f/ Vickie Guerrero

They're clearly building tension between Swagger and Dolph Ziggler after RAW, but why not build a stable? Let Ziggler run as a singles guy, and have Swagger team with McIntyre. Here you have a team where you have a guy in Swagger who is awesome at the nuts and bolts of wrestling in the ring and a guy in McIntyre who's a master at using the ring itself as a weapon. It's a dual threat villain tag team.

4. Ezekiel Jackson and Yoshi Tatsu

The tried and true good guy tag team formula rests with the Rock 'n Roll Express. You have a Ricky Morton taking massive amounts of damage and then he tags in Robert Gibson who cleans house. So yeah, it's obvious that you have Yoshi making hot tags to Big Zeke, and the Guyanese Goliath comes and bodyslams the shit out of the bad guys. Of course, Yoshi is no slack himself with his big kicks. I'd imagine their finisher to have Zeke putting the victim in the torture rack and Yoshi rocking his dome with a big kick.

5. William Regal and Dean Ambrose

Is this cheating if I use a guy from FCW? Again, it's my blog, so fuck you. Regal has been gushing about the former Jon Moxley in the FCW broadcast booth, so why not have him be the devious mentor for the diabolical mastermind in the bigs? I imagine the beatings would be a brutal combo of mental and physical, and it would be entertaining as fuck.

6. Ricardo Rodriguez and Primo Colon

Again, Rodriguez is in developmental, but he is in WWE's family. I'd rather stick another Mexican under Alberto del Rio, but who else is on the roster who'd fit? Unless you wanted to split Los Aviadores or turn Sin Cara heel. Neither one is as appealing to me, and Primo's a really, really good worker. Would it ruin part of del Rio's mystique if Rodriguez actually wrestled? Nah, I don't think so, especially since del Rio needs to evolve. Having Ricardo split off and do more than just announce for del Rio would be a start.

Wrestling Six Packs: The Top Tag Teams in Wrestling Today

Roode and Storm, the cream of the tag team crop
Photo Credit: ImpactWrestling.com

I was going to do a SummerSlam topic, but the well's dry on that end. Meanwhile, on the A1 Podcast last week, the crew was discussing their favorite tag teams on the heels of the A1 Tag Cup, a tournament where the best tag teams in history competed in a poll-based scrum. Right now, the Finals pit the Steiner Brothers against the Miracle Violence Connection of Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy and "Dr. Death" Steve Williams. But anyway, while tag wrestling seems like a lost art today, there are still more than a few teams that uphold its tradition. Here are the best active teams in my estimation.

1. Beer Money, Inc. (Bobby Roode and James Storm)

How is Impact going to have the best tag team in wrestling? It's crazy, and yet they have these two that they probably don't even deserve. Ah well, but it's amazing how well these two guys work together as a team, both in the ring and as characters. For two castoffs from other teams/stables, they hit the jackpot.

2. The Kings of Wrestling (Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero)

A case where two best friends get together and perform excellently is a case where everyone wins. You wouldn't think that Claudio and Hero go together, but they have amazing rapport, able to annoy crowds and frustrate opponents. If the rumors are true, they'll be headed to WWE, which is good or bad news depending on whether you want them to stick as a team. Then again, you never know, maybe they'll be to the tag division what Kharma was going to mean to the Divas before she became with child.

3. The Briscoe Brothers (Jay and Mark)

The Briscoes are a team that you'd think should have gotten a shot, but then again, look at them. They have half a set of teeth between them and are about as refined as crude oil. So they'd be perfect fits for the wrestling industry, right? Haha, yeah. I have my suspicions as to why they've never gotten or taken contracts, but I think the brothers from Slower Lower are very much made for the indies and vice versa. Their timing is impeccable, but c'mon, they're brothers. You expect that.

4. The RockNES Monsters (Johnny Yuma and Johnny Goodtime)

A new team from Southern California, the Monsters have grown on me very quickly. Goodtime is definitely better at this point than Yuma, but they compliment each other so well that it works. They get to have better showcase matches in PWG, but NWA Hollywood is where you get to see their chops in a weekly sort of serial.

5. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey)

The Usos aren't here to be a token WWE tag team. WWE hates tag teams, we know, but in spite of that, the Un-Samoans who turned out to start acting like Samoans have turned out to be a fine tag team. Their matches have improved exponentially, and they actually show some panache when they're allowed to be more than just guys who have matches.

6. The Canadian Ninjas (Portia Perez and Nicole Matthews)

How could I forget perhaps my favorite part of SHIMMER, the deviously evil sirens from the North. Their harassment of Allison Danger last year was the best part of the DVDs I ordered and they definitely have spread their treachery across the land, mostly Perez. As a team, they have really good chemistry, even if Matthews is still learning and growing.

Wrestling Six Packs: Moves That Should Be Brought Back

Pictured: A move that should come back
Photo Credit: WrestleHistory.com

People are always trying to innovate moves, and I have no problem with that. There is nothing wrong with expanding the lexicon of moves. However, sometimes, using a move that's been abandoned over the years can be a welcome sight. Sure, they may be simplistic, but sometimes, I don't want to see a five rotation corkscrew springboard inverted reverse Death Valley driver bomb. Sometimes, I just wanna see a trapezius nerve hold. Here are six moves or holds that I want to see come back into the rotation.

1. AXE BOMBAAAAAAAAAHHH~!

I actually wrote about this at length on my birthday last year:

It may not look different than a regular lariat. Yeah, JBL and Stan Hansen and Kenta Kobashi and others may have better-looking clotheslines/lariats. Okay, but were they fucking called the AXE BOMBAH~!? NO THEY WEREN'T YOU JERKS. And the last time I checked, it's my birthday, not yours. Seriously, the WWE is in the habit of bringing back old moves and even old move names. Hell, they've even taken to incorrectly calling Tyler Reks' move the Burning Hammer (2035 Kenta Kobashi rolls over in his grave in the future every time that name is mentioned on WWE TV), so why not give someone a stiff lariat as a finisher and let Matt Striker or CM Punk scream "AAAXE BOMBAAAAH~!" every time the wrestler hits it? Is it that hard to do?

Is it pedantic? Mabye. Do I care? No.

2. Cranial Crush

So many moves target the head, so why not have a submission move that actually applies pressure to it rather than going for some kind of headlock or move that focuses more on contorting the neck? I always liked the visual, and in the age where guys learn to work rather than just plod around, especially the big guys, having psychology behind it would be awesome. I mean, having a guy work a match towards putting the other guy's head in a vise? I'd enjoy that very much.

3. Abdominal Stretch with Top Rope Grab for LEVERAGE

I love dastardly heel tactics. Today, they're still prevalent, but they're more overt, less subtle. I love the heel style from the '80s, where they'd do the sneakier stuff behind the ref's back like grab the ropes, pull the tights, questionably position their arms in headlocks and all that stuff. The best is the extended sequence where the heel has the face in an abdominal stretch and then grabs the rope for leverage. These were great because they turned restholds into amusing little spots in the match where you get cat and mouse between the heel and the ref. I miss that.

4. Banzai Drop

I also love traditional fat guy moves. Too bad there aren't a whole lot of fat guys left in WWE nowadays, and the ones in the indies traditionally "work" rather than do the fat guy thing. So you get no one really working the "I'm gonna squish you" angle all that much, except for Mark Henry. His shtick is already defined though, and it doesn't include the Banzai Drop. Yeah, Tursas used it Saturday (missing both times he tried), but I want someone using it regularly. I mean, there's no more effective visual of a fat guy just destroying someone than by sitting on them, right? Am I crazy?

5. Stump Puller

Another thing I love is the arcane submission hold. I'm not sure it gets more arcane than this one. Not only is this sort of a convention-defying submission, if it were applied low enough, it could double as a Roman helmet to the victim's head. If you don't know what it is... well, let's just say it's par for the course for how twisted wrestlers can be.

6. Bridging Perfect Plex

John Cena does a half-assed version of this, but he lets go of the leg hook mid-height and doesn't bridge. Tyson Kidd does the neckbreaker variant on this. Most indie guys go FISHAHHHMAN BUSTAAAAH style. But who does a regular, fisherman suplex with a bridge for a pin? If anyone does it, I'm unaware of them. Seriously, this was a great finishing move because it looked like a tight hold that was hard to get out of.

Wrestling Six Packs: Best WWE Theme Songs Right Now

Punk just doesn't have bad theme songs
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So, CM Punk just debuted a new theme song, presumably, that is. I love "Cult of Personality", and I think it fits him as a theme song, although I wouldn't put it in the top 6 of theme songs in WWE right now. Which ones would I? I THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK. NOTE: Of course, number one would have been Edge, but he retired, so he's disqualified.


1. Alberto del Rio



I don't know what it is about the mariachi theme, but it's so well done. Maybe it's that I don't expose myself to a lot of mariachi/Mexican brass. Maybe it's because it fits del Rio so much. Maybe I'm just a sucker for a good horn section. I don't know. But this is my favorite theme in WWE right now.

2. CM Punk/Killswitch Engage



Let's get it out of the way right now. "Cult of Personality" is the better song, no matter what my Twitter followers may say. However, I think this song fits Punk better. I don't know, it might be my Pavlovian reflexes kicking in, just hearing that opening riff and thinking, damn, Punk's gonna come out and yell "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME", but yeah, "Cult" is going to take a little getting used to after hearing this one a million times and then some.

3. Beth Phoenix



Even if all the other Divas theme songs weren't utter rubbish, making this sound like the song Tenacious D wrote "Tribute" about, I'd still love this song. It has that really cool Mellotron-sounding keyboard intro that gives Phoenix that special aura that she has as the presently undisputed War Queen of the Divas (until Kharma gets back, that is). Then the guitar riff that comes up afterwards is just bad ass.

4. Sheamus



Is this song on here because it's become a meme? (Shameful thing lobster head, too many limes)... maybe. Despite it being a transparent attempt at marrying nü-metal with Irish conceits, I dig it, even if I wasn't shouting TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES at it.

5. Daniel Bryan



You don't mess with the classics. Bryan's theme song makes him the heir to Ric Flair (Also Sprach Zarathrusta) and Randy Savage (Pomp and Circumstance), and yet it gives him a different feeling than both of them. Ride of the Valkyries portends a storm coming, a wild, turbulent ride where you, the opponent, are in for hell. That, in a nutshell, explains the offensive attack of Bryan, whose rough and tumble dive-to-the-outside trappings coming into the pain brought by his submission array. Wow, I just totally got all philosophical about a theme song.

6. Mark Henry



I just love a song that promises the splitting of wigs. I don't feel like I need to defend this choice.

Wrestling Six Packs: Women Who Can Make Intergender Wrestling Work (Aside from Kharma and Beth)

Ever since Chyna pretended he was a woman and wrestled against the men in the then-WWF, there has been controversy and fascination surrounding the idea of intergender wrestling. In WWE, the idea has been teased briefly of equal time fighting between the genders at the Royal Rumble in 2010, when Beth Phoenix eliminated Great Khali with a kiss and then ate a GTS from CM Punk (and now the two are dating... how's that for interesting?). There are also Sara del Rey, Madison Eagles, Manami Toyota and Daizee Haze mixing it up with the men in Chikara, which is a great spectacle, but easier to imagine because the men in the fed aren't as big as they are in WWE.

Obviously, Phoenix and Kharma are the two examples who can credibly hang with the big boys in WWE. If she wasn't a threat to kill legit kill someone at her stage in training, Lindsay Heyward (aka Isis the Amazon aka Aloisia) would too. But what about some offbeat choices? I got six whom I'd think work well with the men in WWE.

1. ODB

I've accused ODB of not being the gender she says she is in jest in the past, but problems I have with her aside, really, is there anyone who thinks she wouldn't fit in a men's division? Seriously, broad shoulders and man-hands aside, she's a woman who looks like if she got into a fight with her baby's daddy, she'd be the favorite to win. I mean, she'd take a pull from her flask and start comin' at you like a spider monkey, a la the children of Ricky Bobby.

War Manami!

2. Manami Toyota

This is a bit of a cheat, since the legendary joshi star actually has competed against men who've legitimately competed in WWE. And of course, she looked damn good doing it. I fell in love with Manami Toyota, the worker, King of Trios weekend, as she was one of the stars of the event. Imagine what she could do against Tyson Kidd, Daniel Bryan or even Rey Mysterio? It'd be magic, and I'm not sure anyone would really complain unless they really had a problem with men and women going up against each other.

3. LuFisto

She's probably the smallest woman on this list, and who knows if she'll even wrestle against other women anymore. There's something about her, that she's just this little ball of frenetic energy and she'd work well as a hardcore pinball, someone who was hard to catch but certainly hit really, really hard when she did come close. Well, that is if it were maybe five or so years ago when hardcore wasn't pushed out as non-PG. Still, there was a time and place where LuFisto would have been perfect going against the men.

4. Nattie Neidhart

Not everyone who'd fit into this mold has to come from outside the company. While Nattie is more the size of the typical WWE Diva, she has something that no other woman in the world has, and that's a Hart Dungeon education. Who said that the only ones of the Hart family bloodline who could tango had to be men? There's only so much she can do in the Divas division before she gets stale (and not of her own doing).

5. Madison Eagles

She's tall and lanky and with a little bit of muscle, she'd look imposing enough to take on the male of the species. I think what would set her apart would be the MMA training she's received, which would add a little bit of street cred to her offense. Plus, I think the fact that she's an Aussie would up the toughness. I mean, the houseflies down there can maim you, just as my blogging bloke from Down Under Cameron Riley would attest to. I'm pretty sure your average Aussie lass is as tough as the average American prizefighter (which can only explain why there's been so few Aussie men coming up to the States to wrestle... their toughness would make it very hard for them to restrain themselves while working their moves).

6. Cheerleader Melissa

I saw Melissa in person as Raisha Saeed at Chikarasaurus Rex last year. She tagged with Kharma (then as Awesome Kong) against Sara del Rey and Daizee Haze. She definitely had some good size on her compared to the ladies of the Bruderschaft. She could be the elusive woman who'd combine super sexiness with the physical credibility without having to look slightly muscular to achieve this. So she'd be like Beth Phoenix without the bulky shoulders and arms, or like Chyna without the penis. Score!

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Wrestling Six Packs: Wrestlers I Want to See Win the 12 Large Summit

Jigsaw is TH-approved to win the 12 Large Summit
Photo Credit: Random Chikara Fan

The 12 Large Summit, the FIRST 12-person round-robin wrestling tournament being held this year with the purpose of crowning Chikara's first ever Campeone del Mundo, is in full swing. As with most things Chikara, I'm following this with baited breath. I also have an opinion on whom I want to see win. Of course, making this the subject of a six pack might seem a bit silly since I'd be naming half the participants in the tourney. Also, I'd be happy with anyone winning the tournament who's entered. Except Vin Gerard, because he's stinky and mean looking. But anyway yeah, I guess you could call this a power ranking of the people I want to see win. It's in order, unlike some other six packs. So without further ado...

1. Jigsaw

Jigsaw's my top pick that I want to see win. Why? Well, I feel like he's one of the best workers that Chikara has to offer, one of its most indelible characters, a guy who's become an ambassador for the fed. Maybe it's because I own his mask. Maybe it's because he reposted my Chikara year end review on his Facebook fan page. Maybe it's because he was such a cool dude towards me during King of Trios weekend. Maybe it's all of the above plus the fact that the guy doesn't have bad matches. But I feel like for whatever reason, he'd be the perfect first representative.

2. Sara del Rey

I'm a paradoxical wrestling fan. I like old school stuff, but I also love when feds push the envelope. Chikara having a female winning a title among men would be progressive as fuck, and the "onward and upward"-type fan in me would love to see that. Plus, I have an unabashed crush on SDR. Call me a hopeless romantic, I guess.

3. UltraMantis Black

Mantis is arguably my favorite wrestler in the field, so why is he only three on my list? Well, the thing is I'm not sure the belt is right for Mantis. He's not a guy who needs to be Campeone de Parejas or King of Trios Champion or Cibernetico winner to be worthy of my eternal adoration. Despite being one of Chikara's longest-reigning roster members and most regularly appearing ones, he feels very much like a special attraction. Still, I'd be losing my shit with everyone else if he were the one who ended up holding the title at the end.

4. Icarus

For the lulz, obviously. Can you imagine the epic storm of shit talking emanating from the Winged Warrior if he won? It would be so troll-tastic, especially if he retweeted all the hate messages he got. Plus, his matches would become like a million times more entertaining with the swagger he'd exhibit. Christ, now I almost want Icarus to shoot up to #1 on the list because of the comedic potential.

5. Ophidian

I've always been a huge Portal fan, but I think I have Ophidian here because I'd love to see him win for Amasis. For those who don't know, he took the Funky Pharaoh's spot when he was (unbeknownst to everyone else at the time) permanently shelved. It would be pretty awesome to see him take the title home for his fallen brother.

6. Eddie Kingston

Okay, now we've come to the guy who is probably the hands-down favorite to win. I admit, I wouldn't be opposed to seeing the War King win the title. I mean, he's earned it. He's been the anchor to the biggest storyline of the last two-plus years. When he hasn't been fighting Claudio Castagnoli or the BDK, he's been representing Chikara against the various guest stars they've had come in, from Austin Aries to Colt Cabana and everyone else whom he wrestled in between. It might be predictable, but who said predictable was bad in and of itself?

Wrestling Six Packs: Patriotic Gimmicks

HOOOOOO
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Yesterday was Independence Day, in case this is the first time you've read this blog all day and live, say, in Kazakhstan or some other country where July 4th is just another day. But yeah, in America, it's a big deal. Since pro wrestling has become ingrained in American culture, of course several gimmicks within the artform have certain patriotic tinges. Here are six of my favorites.

1. "Hacksaw" Jim Duggan

HOOOOOOOOOO! Ol' Hacksaw may be the most iconic embodiment of the Red, White and Blue. I've written about him at length before, so here's what I wrote in honor of his Hall of Fame induction:

Duggan was always a sentimental favorite of mine. Back when I first really got into wrestling, he was my second favorite guy behind Hulk Hogan, a guy whom today would probably have gotten a title run or two because of how over he was. Of course, Duggan was a hero of a long gone era, back when it was cool to be a patriot. Even for how jingoistic wrestling crowds still are and how well foreign heels still can get over, the all-American face has disappeared. Even if his gimmick was cheap and he acted like a borderline mental patient, Duggan's affable spirit and gung-ho, take no prisoners approach in the ring endeared him to several of the WWF's devoted fans, myself included.

And here's what I wrote about him last Fourth of July:

Was Duggan the best technical wrestler? Hell no. Was he the most handsome wrestler? No, he was as homely as a mule. However, he was resilient. He was tough. He never said die. He embodied America better than anyone else did. A blue-collar, flag-waving hero for all the kids to look up to. He made it proud to be an American. He fought Nikolai Volkoff and Iron Sheik. His flag waving made Communists everywhere shit their pants. When Ronald Reagan told Gorbechev to "tear down that wall", you know why Gorby complied? Reagan had Duggan standing right behind him. Jim Duggan's "HOOOOOOOOO!" haunted Fidel Castro's nightmares until the day his brain finally gave out. Any time China starts shit, Duggan heads over there with his 2x4 and reminds them why they'll never stand a chance, even though they outnumber us 4 to 1. So, let's hear it for America, July 4th and Hacksaw Jim Duggan, tough guy.

In short, fuck you, Hacksaw's the man.

2. The Great American Bash

The name of the event always conjured up images of summer. Cookouts, fireworks, the American flag. There's just such a tradition behind the name, even if the event had become "just another PPV" in its later years. I think there's a lot of potential for a special event here. I know the logistics of having PPV outdoors can be rough, but a cookout-themed event? Yeah, I'd go in a heartbeat.

3. The Lex Express

I extolled the virtues of the event that launched this bus-tour around the country earlier on today, so why wouldn't I list this? While Luger didn't exactly pan out for WWE as a top guy, I loved the Lex Express as a kid. So cheesy, but so fun at the same time. Plus, it's inspired the Flex Express today, so it gets a lot of replay value as well.

4. Kurt Angle

Angle made the American hero character archetype and flipped it on its head, playing up his persona so geekily that he got boos instead of the cheers that his forebears would have garnered. In the early days, Angle's character was so fresh and goofy that he was truly an innovator. It didn't hurt that his comedic delivery was on point.

5. Steve Austin

When you think Stone Cold, you generally don't imagine the Stars 'n Stripes. In fact, he generally embodies nihilism, selfishness and rampant recklessness. But for a hot second, he was the leader of an unlikely group of invaders into Canada to battle the Hart Foundation. Yes, Canadian Stampede, generally regarded as the best In Your House and one of the greatest overall PPVs ever, featured a 10-man main event that saw Austin defend America's honor, along with Goldust, Ken Shamrock and the Road Warriors, in the heart of Hart country, Calgary, Alberta, Canada. He wasn't singing Lee Greenwood or draped in Old Glory, but on that day, Austin was a de facto patriot.

6. Tribute to the Troops

In a serious note, one of the best things WWE does each year is the Tribute to the Troops. It can be hip to forget the military or to bash them for the sins of the political fat cats who send them to war for their own personal gain, but the WWE never forgets these brave men and women. They actually are treated well all year long, gaining free entry into WWE events, but the best is when the company brings the action to them. It's a total fanservice show, but for these fans who may not be there to enjoy the show next year, well, it's well-deserved.

Wrestling Six Packs: Odd Nostalgia Acts I'd Like to See

Last night, Diamond Dallas Page made a cameo appearance, chewing scenery with Booker T and Shawn Michaels and participating in the figurative disemboweling of Drew McIntyre. WWE has brought back a cavalcade of olden stars in recent times, everyone from George "The Animal" Steele to Lita. But one of the things that nearly every fan loves is seeing people from their past show up. There are still so many guys who'd be awesome in cameo appearances. Here are six I'd love to see.

1. Bob Backlund

In my formative years as a wrestling fan, Bob Backlund was one of the first characters I loved due to what would I'd later term as "the lulz". He was absurd and very easily imitable, but among the field of wrestling trashmen and junk pitchers and dentists, he was a character who was fun. Evil and crazy, but fun. His Presidential campaign was a nice diversion for after he left the main event scene. With that being said, I can't be the only person who'd have thought that seeing him at Capitol Punishment instead of the Obama impersonator would have been a million times better, right?

2. The Bushwhackers

C'mon now, you wouldn't mark for Luke and Butch licking heads and giving noogies on WWE TV? I think they should be in the Royal Rumble every year, getting thrown out within like 3 seconds. It should be tradition, especially now that the Rumble's a straight 40 guys. And don't tell me the kids wouldn't understand them. What's there to grasp about them? They grunt, lick heads and act silly for the kids. Nostalgia for the adults, eccentricity for the kids.

The Genius!

3. The Genius

Yeah, it might be a bit trite in the wake of his brother's death, but really, Lanny Poffo coming back as the bombastically academic Genius would rule all kinds of ass. I think I'd be all about him trading witticisms with Santino. The interplay would be absolutely gut-busting.

4. The Blue World Order

Of course I'm all about getting some old ECW love up in here. The problem with that is that the old guard is either employed by TNA or they're decrepit. I mean have you seen Raven lately? The bWo, in addition to being one of my favorite acts by far of the late '90s, has the luxury of having its members somewhat well put together. Stevie Richards is in amazing shape. Blue Meanie is a pretty decent indie movie star. Nova... well I don't know about Nova. Why would they come back? I don't know, but I'd love to see them take over an episode of RAW to hawk another ECW DVD or something of that ilk.

5. Perry Saturn

He has a crazy face tattoo and spent years in hiding, but isn't that the kind of return that would be the most shocking? I mean, no one knew where Lita was when she came back, so when she showed up next to Pee Wee Herman, well, yeah, it was a poignant moment. Saturn would be the same thing. Plus, MOPPY!

6. Todd Pettengil

Seriously, no one would make me lose my shit if he showed up backstage at RAW more than Pettingil. I don't feel like I need to explain this.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs: Best Indie Gimmicks

Peck and Veronica, Chikara's new power couple

There are two kinds of characters: regular people and gimmicks. Some gimmicks are bad or okay, but they get over because the guy playing it is an awesome performer. Some gimmicks are awesome in and of themselves, and get over with talented wrestlers or middling guys alike. This six pack chronicles the awesome gimmicks that you find in indie wrestling. Why? Because there are some awesome gimmicks in indie wrestling, that's why.

1. Archibald Peck

There's a certain amount of silliness needed to do a good gimmick. I mean, when wrestling's good, a part of it has to make people laugh, right? Well, even with the inherent goofiness involved, usually, the guy playing the character wants his gimmick to be somewhat cool, right? Yeah, not Archibald Peck. There's probably nothing dorkier than being in a high school band, and that's what makes this gimmick work so well. He's intentionally nerding it up and he and his lovely Veronica put their all into it. It doesn't help that the guy behind the character is supremely talented. BE that as it may, every time you see him come out with his band hat, twirling his baton, marching emphatically to a brass-n-drum version of "Any Way You Want It", you can't help but smile, even if you're supposed to boo the guy out of the building.

2. Cedric the Hitman

From the super silly to the super serious, Cedric the Hitman is actually a brilliant, brilliant gimmick that I'm surprised hasn't been tried yet in the bigger feds. Basically, he's hired muscle. You pay him and he takes out the target. In NWA Hollywood, where he resides, he's most recently been used by Austin Aries to continually harass Scorpio Sky, and he became a really big part of that angle while it was ongoing.

3. LuFisto

What does being a "Super Hardcore Anime" entail? Well, it's probably the most abstract gimmick listed here, but it's an incredibly fun part of any SHIMMER show that I watch on DVD. Basically, she's supposed to be the living embodiment of an anime character, and she has a figurine that she talks to and gets advice from. It's so weird and manic that it works, and it makes her the highlight of any show she's on.

4. Grizzly Redwood

He's a lumberjack and he's okay, he sleeps all night and he works all day. Haha, cheesy Monty Python reference aside, the short-guy lumberjack is a great gimmick. I think a lumberjack character would work for a guy of any size; refer back to the ROH Video Wire segment where he was training Delirious as an example. I just think that a 5'4" guy who's supposed to be a stout feller of trees is such an epic visual. Plus I really like flapjacks. Hell, if I had to do it all over again, I'd probably name this blog "I Want to Go to IHOP with Grizzly Redwood" instead of The Wrestling Blog. But that'd be gimmick infringement.

5. Matt Classic

There are old school characters, REALLY old school characters and then there's Matt Classic. A character purported to be such a veteran that he was in a fed with Abraham Lincoln, the good friend of Colt Cabana pops up from time to time to do calisthenics, make daring leaps from the first rope and purvey old school wrestling holds like the drop suplex and the claw. He's also super surly, and if you can, seek out footage from the tag gauntlet from night 3 of King of Trios this year, especially his interactions with Sara del Rey and Daizee Haze. It's wonderfully chauvinistic, but eminently amusing.

6. The Throwbacks

The last spot has to be a shout to my boys, the original playas from Chikara-land. The ABA baller and the turn-of-the-century batsman would have been great gimmicks on their own. Pairing them together is genius, I think. Both characters have a wealth of material to draw from, and all of it is potentially crowd pleasing. Both Dasher Hatfield and Sugar Dunkerton have found guises worthy of making a career out of.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs: Favorite Announce Teams

All hail the great and devious lord of Chikara's
Commentation Station!

Announcing is such a tricky beast. You can have great announcers, but what good are they if their partner's a dud, or if they're miscast? That's why you can't really look at single announcers as much as teams. Here are six of my favorite announce pairings or trios in wrestling today.

1. Bryce Remsburg and UltraMantis Black

Of course Bryce was going to be here. Hell, I love nearly everyone that has ever gone into the Commentation Station, and Bryce's exuberance is a huge reason. For whatever reason, I think he pairs best with Mantis. The Great and Devious One's macabre and methodical tone plays as a perfect canvas for Bryce marking out like a less smarky Joey Styles. It's just a perfect teaming.

2. Excalibur and Chris Hero

In addition to being a world-class wrestler, Hero takes to PWG's announce table whenever he can. The results are pretty epic. Excalibur, when left to work freely behind the table for the Guerrilla, is just a treat to listen to. He's a trove of wrestling trivia and move knowledge, and the excited calls and cursing don't hurt for me at least. He's there with a bunch of different partners, but for some reason, he and Hero gel the best. I think that it's a combination of Hero's natural charisma and knowledge as well as the chemistry and friendship that's easily sensed between the two. One of the reasons why PWG stands out above the fray.

3. Scott Stanford and Josh Mathews

I don't know what it is about Scott Stanford that makes me like him so much. Maybe it's his cheesy, over the top delivery, his palling around with Zack Ryder, his nicknaming, the seeming non-sequiturs... he's such a throwback, kinda like a Vince McMahon, only a little more knowledgeable about how to call an actual match. Mathews serves as a good foil for him just because of how understated he is. He seems the most comfortable with Stanford. Matt Striker was too pompous. Michael Cole and he had too much of an inside relationship that got old more quickly than I thought (without some mediator in between, as we'll see later in the list). But with Stanford? Yeah, it's a shame no one watches Superstars, because they're missing out.

4. Lenny Leonard and Leonard F. Chikarason

There's nothing really flashy about this team, but then again, they call matches for EVOLVE... that's the meat 'n potatoes fed. Wins matter. The action matters. They're pitch perfect for the fed, and they're both really informative, both with the history and with the actual action. I really dig it.

5. Josh Mathews, Booker T and Michael Cole

Booker T makes this broadcast team. He absolutely does. I've noted before that he's an anomaly in that he's a true neutral voice. I also love his banter with Michael Cole, with Cole needling him and Booker playing it off pitch-perfectly. His bewilderment at certain happenings is just priceless too. Booker is just like Dusty Rhodes as an announcer. He really shouldn't be all that good, but he just fits and is memorable for what some might term "all the wrong reasons". But if liking Booker is wrong? I don't wanna be right.

6. Bryce Remsburg and Mike Quackenbush

And we come full circle with another Commentation Station pairing. While Mantis' theatrical style plays foil to Bryce in one way, Quack is similarly a counterweight in a totally different style. He's authoritative, cerebral, calling matches like us nerds would write announcers in our random e-feds. Like Excalibur, he knows all the moves, all the history. And he's got such an announcer's voice too. It pairs brilliantly as the straight man to Bryce's super-fan.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs: Characters in Need of a Reboot

Goofy is good with Drew
Photo Credit: WWE.com

In honor of the features reboot this week, here are six wrestlers whose characters could use reboots. These are otherwise upstanding wrestlers who may feel stale, lost in the shuffle or at the natural end of the current character they have, and they range across the spectrum of feds. Here goes:

1. Drew McIntyre

Ah yes, Drew McIntyre, he's the man who won our hearts over this past year with his amazing in-ring acumen, yes. However, his character still remains as dull as dishwater. He needs a jolt, but what can he do? If only there was some video footage of him showing off some kind of natural charisma... oh wait, there totally is! Talk about a total miscast. I would keep the name "The Chosen One", only instead of making it as some pompous, hand-picked scion of Vince McMahon, he's the "The Chosen One... for Hire". Yep, as an eccentric hitman type, McIntyre takes on jobs for really anyone who has a problem, which obviously will be mostly for heels, but with really quirky demands and an outrageous personality. Think of him as a goofy badass, like Kurt Angle before he decided he was going to be ZOMG SERIOUS MMA AMATEUR WRESTLER WITH HIP HOP THEME SONG AND SUCH. I think if anyone pulls that archetype off, it could be McIntyre.

2. STIGMA

His partnership with Vin Gerard is over, and there's really no way he can continue on as STIGMA. The logical stepping point would be a retread back to the days of Shayne Storm, but I think it's clear that Mike Quackenbush won't be so forgiving. I'd play him off as some sort of ronin-type character, a tecnico-by-design, but a guy who doesn't really align himself with anyone. Kinda like Eddie Kingston for that short period between when he ditched the Roughnecks and joined the Chikara resistance against the BDK. He goes around atoning for his betrayal of the tecnicos by doing good deeds and random acts of penance but without really asking for or receiving any benefits. It would eventually lead to his reunion with Quack, but I'd like to see the story unfold that way.

3. Ted DiBiase

The obvious call would be him going face, whether as just a "regular" character or as a self-made man, a totally opposite to what his father was all about, much like Cody Rhodes is almost nothing like his blue-collar father was like now. I say there's still heel ground for him to stomp on. I say keep using his "richness" as a character point, but instead of a whiny trust-fund baby, he'd now be a "facilitator". Think of him as a weapons-dealer, or a crime boss. If a guy needs a sneak attack without being culpable, DiBiase's his man. If someone needs a tag partner, DiBiase gets him that tag partner. Good quality, high-grade weapons? The ability to frame someone for an attack? The possibilities are endless here. He could even work with McIntyre as his personal "independent contractor" for some hits, which would lead into a feud or angle between the two later on down the line.

4. Jack Swagger

I feel like the All-American American stuff has run its course. I love seeing him do the push-ups, and I think that'd remain an awesome part of his in-ring repertoire as a taunt, but I think Swagger's character needs to "grow up" a bit. I always liked how fearsome and stoic he looks in a suit, just towering over people and giving that steely gaze that says "I'm gonna fuck you up" without actually saying it. Therefore, I'd propose he becomes the anonymous RAW GM's hired muscle. We're already seeing the GM lose a bit of control over his program, so I think he should start enforcing his law with Swagger acting as his consigliere, or his enforcer if you will. It would be great as a sort of allegory for a totalitarian police state, and it could actually be a spark for heat between Cole and the GM, as of course, Cole doesn't like Swagger anymore.

5. Samoa Joe
6. Alex Shelley

I'm bunching these guys together because they tie into a similar, conjoined idea. Comic books have proven to be a great trove of source material for pro wrestling angles. Chikara has proven that time and time again. I propose the idea of making both these guys guerrilla warriors, Joe because fuck, his character needs it, and Shelley because his partner's hurt and it fits the narrative in Impact Wrestling. They'd be two differing guerrillas though. Joe would become Impact's Joker, a guy who causes chaos just to, as Alfred so eloquently described in The Dark Knight, "watch the world burn". Shelley, conversely, would be a freedom fighter, like V in V for Vendetta. His attacks would be strategic against Bischoff, Immortal, Hogan.

The attacks would start out anonymously by both, with one person being blamed for all of them. Then, over the next weeks, there'd be anonymous claimings of responsibility, investigations and what not. Joe as an agent of chaos could spawn a story of "who would stop him?", while Shelley would then be positioned as one of the top stars in Impact in his quest to topple the corrupt regime. They could intersect, with Shelley getting pissed that Joe's chaos is just that, and it's ruining his purpose. There is so much potential with this dynamic it's not even funny...

...then again, it's still TNA at heart, so this would be the pipeyest of pipe dreams. Still, I think it would work.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs: Best Entrances Currently/From the Last Year

Triple H with his Viking retainers behind him
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Entrances are standard for every wrestler, but some are more memorable than others. Here are six for current wrestlers or one-off entrances from the last year that are pretty impactful. Note, The Undertaker is not listed here because there's only so many times I can see him hobble to the ring with the lights out. It was impressive in 1996. It was nostalgic in 2005. Now? It's tired to me.

1. Triple H from WrestleMania XXVII

My issues with Triple H are well-documented, but even I can't hate on his big entrance at WrestleMania this past year. Just the visual of all the Viking soldiers coming out, huddling their shields in defensive formation, and then Trips in his destroyer get up... yeah it was pretty awesome to look at.

2. Eddie Kingston

As ostentatious and gaudy as Trips' entrance was is how stark and simple Kingston's is. But it fits him to a tee. Every time I hear the opening flourish going into the gunshot, I get goosebumps. Then you get the War King coming out with his bandana over his face to the hip-hop tinged version of Ennio Morricone's "The Ecstasy of Gold", and it just works.

3. Cody Rhodes

As great and fitting as his "Dashing" entrance was, coming out to the bold but cheesy '80s arena rock and looking into the digital mirror, I think his "GROTESQUE" entrance is better. It's just his character drawn out and put on display, from the hood-up jacket, the newspaper headline Titantron and the guys following him with paper bags to the sour demeanor on his face. Just perfection for his embittered, almost Phantom of the Opera-like character.

4. Alberto del Rio

They captured the opulence of del Rio's character in his approach to the ring. The fine cars, the bombastic pyro, the regal-sounding mariachi music. Plus, it's his mannerisms that make the entrance pop. He's got the scarf around his neck and he's celebrating himself, like, "Hey, look at me! Look at how suave I am!", delicately treading the line, staying on the side opposite of self-parody.

5. Archibald Peck

If you haven't seen Archie's entrance yet, well, you will. Basically, he comes out to a marching band rendition of a Journey song (I forget which one at the moment) and marches to the ring with his valet, Vanessa, in full geeked-out splendor. He gets so into it that you can't help but cheer the guy for it, no matter how dickish he acts after his entrance. It's so gaudy, it's so corny, but it's so awesome.

6. The Miz at WrestleMania XXVII

Was the inflatable AWESOME cheesy? Sure, but who said that wrestling and cheesy didn't go together? That, coupled with the video package set to "Hate Me Now" before and Miz rushing out with the WWE Championship, steely in gaze, with Alex Riley giving him the pep talk of a lifetime on his way out to closing his first of what will most likely be many WrestleManias, was sadly one of the best parts of a disappointing main event.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Wrestling Six Packs, Macho Week: Macho Man's Greatest Rivals

Two natural rivals going at it.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Randy Savage had an epic career. I think that's pretty much academic. However, in wrestling, you don't have a great career solo. You need to have guys to play your foil, or guys you play foil to. Savage had some great feuds, and here are six of his best rivals.

1. Jerry "The King" Lawler

When Savage left his father's ICW and went to work in Memphis, you could argue he really came of age. It's natural, as Lawler's run in Memphis may have been the most important singular draw to one region, and working with him would be seasoning enough for anyone. It was here that Macho got prepared for the big time. This list really isn't in any order, but you could make the argument that Lawler may have been Savage's most important rival.

2. Ric Flair

...then again, when you feud with perhaps the most decorated and important wrestler of all-time over the WWF World Championship at WrestleMania, that counts for a lot more than going at it in a regional promotion. The first clash between Macho and Naitch was so heated, so edgy for the time. Flair claimed to have racy pictures of Elizabeth, something actually right out of the Memphis playbook actually. The interplay between the two felt so natural, so right. It was an iron they'd strike several more times in WCW, and even though they really didn't go up against each other at all until the '90s, it felt like they were rivals throughout eternity.

3. Hulk Hogan

Yes, the feud was one-sided for the most part. Yes, Savage was always portrayed as Hogan's bitch. However, Hogan and Savage were both inexorably linked if only for the Mega Powers angle and the watershed WrestleMania V match. It was a feud that lasted both in and out of character for a long time, eliciting the infamous Be a Man rap album from Macho that was somewhat of a nadir for him, but hey, no one's perfect.

4. George "The Animal" Steele

ON the total opposite end of the "importance" scale is Steele, who was more of an ancillary feud, an annoyance than a legitimate feud. I mean, he was a big doddering, slobbery beast, and he basically lusted after Liz like King Kong did after Fay Wray. But in a way, he was the perfect foil for Savage and Liz as a couple. What better way to accentuate the fact that Macho really didn't deserve Liz than having this slovenly old man, a slovenly old man who was a super fan favorite, creeping after her?

5. Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

This is a no-brainer. I think Bill Simmons hit the nail on the head in his excellent Savage tribute column today. Wrestling's peak kinda began with Savage crushing Steamboat across the larynx, and their match at WrestleMania III was THE first ever WM marquee match. Seriously, Shawn Michaels as Mr. WrestleMania? Austin and Hart? Taker and Trips this past year? Hart vs. Hart? It was a tradition begotten with this match. It arguably made the Intercontinental Championship, and thus it's a rivalry that belongs on this list.

6. Diamond Dallas Page

This was his signature WCW-only feud, but man, what an intense and critically acclaimed one it was. These two went at it, and it really did a lot to make DDP, much in the way that feuds with Steamer and Hogan made Savage in the '80s. You really got the feeling that both guys were looking to kill each other. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that they were both probably somewhat legitimately crazy, but hey, that always adds to a great feud.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!