Idiotic if True: How an Impact Burnout May Have Screwed over the Young Bucks

Were these guys wronged by the competition?

Cageside Seats has a pretty good summary of the scuttlebutt surrounding the Sin Cara hood and the two men who play it, especially the original. It's a good read, but in describing one of the reasons why Mistico has become persona non grata in WWE right now, they brought up this nugget on a recent controversy involving two decidedly non-Sin Cara related wrestlers:

The Young Bucks shouldn't have bothered turning up for their recent WWE tryout, their chances were shot as soon as Rob Van Dam gave them the rep of dodging veteran's handshakes. In a predictable development, RVD's good friends Booker T and Goldust made sure to concur with his assessment via Twitter that they were a couple of disrespectful young punks and thus the Bucks could kiss their WWE chances goodbye.

First, a disclaimer, I don't assume that this is 100% truth here. Dave Meltzer (the source for the Cageside article) may have an element of truth to that slant on how things happened. He may be talking cynically. I don't know.

That being said, if there is any element of truth to this... what the fuck, WWE? Really? Really? I purported not even to want to judge how the WWE backstage culture was, and if the Bucks did "wrong" Booker T, then it's one thing. It's a personal beef, and they handled it the way that they handle those kinds of things backstage. However, if what Meltzer is insinuating is true here, then it's a clear case of a guy who works for another company influencing policy. Regardless of who the guy is, that seems pretty fucked up to me. The guy basically is using his influence to make sure that two guys who might have a future in the industry can't get ahead. Isn't that kind of blackballing considered unethical at the very least?

Furthermore, let's look into the guy who's starting this bullshit. Rob Van Dam. Apparently, if the insinuation is true, he cares about respect and petty bullshit, which is fine and dandy if you're into having your ego stroked, but let's look at some of the things he doesn't care about. He doesn't care about showing respect, since he mouths off about Impact in the media if he's unhappy (and regardless of whether you agree with him or not, you take care of that shit in house). He doesn't care about following drug policy obviously. He also doesn't care about co-worker safety, since his well-documented sloppiness hasn't abated over the years. In fact, I'd say it's gotten worse since his most egregious offense against protecting his fellow workers happened within the last six months, i.e. his amateur dentistry on Abyss with his foot. So now, WWE HR policy is going to be directly impacted by a burnout working for the struggling competition? That is hilarious.

That also isn't to say that RVD and his cronies Booker and Goldust would be totally at fault here. If WWE really is going to not sign the Bucks due to that backstage fracas without further investigation, then what does that say about them? It's one thing to have a guy in the doghouse in Mistico because of behavior that's widely observed, but wouldn't you think it funny that the Bucks, who apparently shook hands with everyone else, had a problem with only two guys, guys who were friends of a habitual drug user with a massive ego? If the reports are true, then doesn't this make WWE look fucking stupid for siding with a guy who ultimately is part of the organization that's most competing with them, whether they know it or not?

But that's the kicker. I keep going back to the disclaimer. There's no way to gauge whether any of these reports that are based on non-primary sources and conjecture are 100% factual. While I have my reasons to believe Meltzer over anyone, including his colleague Bryan Alvarez, wouldn't have an axe to grind, it's entirely possible that he has a journalistic bias against the WWE. It's not that big a negative. It's human nature. There's entirely a chance that this whole post is bluster, and within six months, the Young Bucks will be in WWE, and who knows, maybe Mistico will be Sin Cara once more. That being said, there's too much smoke in the form of wrestler chatter about this kind of thing for there not to be fire. If it was just something internal, then yeah, maybe I wouldn't have wasted any more words on it than I did back when I reacted to it first. But the fact that someone working for Impact may have something to do with the Bucks not signing WWE contracts seems stupid at least, unethical at the midpoint and illegal tampering/collusion at the very worst. It's so mind-bogglingly awful that even the very specter of it doesn't pass the smell test.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Was Mistico a Mistake?

Was Mistico fated from start to fail?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

When Triple H signed Mistico to a contract, most people who knew who he was were excited. He was one of the biggest standout wrestlers South of the Border, worked an exciting style and seemed to be a perfect fit for a company that seemed to take to high flying wrestlers very well. The fans loved him as Sin Cara too. He sold merchandise and got wows from the live audiences for all his acrobatic moves. The botches didn't seem to matter too much either.

The untold story to most fans was that Mistico was a headcase. There was a steady stream of reports from dirtsheets and C&P sites that noted he had a huge ego and brought down the brunt of management and the locker room for everything from those aforementioned botches to claiming that his matches in Mexico were shoot fights. Granted, none of these reports came from primary sources, so it's unclear how much of them were true. Still, the steadiness of said stream was troubling at the very least. That being said, his problems reared a more public head when he was suspended for violating the Wellness Policy.

One would assume that he'd sit out his thirty days, come back and feud with Sheamus, the guy who put him out in storyline with a vicious powerbomb through a ladder at Money in the Bank. That wasn't the case, as again, nebulous reports without primary sources surfaced that Mistico would not be back. More gas was thrown on that fire when the Sin Cara character was brought back two weeks before Mistico's suspension was up, only with masked FCW wrestler Hunico in the rule. A fake/real Sin Cara angle was teased, but ultimately it was dropped when Mistico took over the role again on house shows.

Then, the biggest kicker, Mistico was apparently sent home last Tuesday, with Hunico being placed back in the Sin Cara mask (which, oddly enough, got off to an inauspicious restart when he had to redo a match with Heath Slater twice before it was fit to air). Honestly, I'm not sure what the deal is here. Again, the reports say that he was sent home because of a combination of ego, sloppiness and frustration with the man himself. I'm not going to rule out this being the beginning of that aforementioned dueling Sin Caras angle, but then again, who knows at this point. I'm not sure who's getting the right information, but as of right now, it does seem plausible that the Mistico experiment was poisoned from the start.

The premise behind bringing him up to America was simple. He'd be a guy who'd wow the Anglo audiences, while providing a hometown hero for Mexican fans, a base that is a major growth sector for WWE (growth sector... shit, I feel so dirty for typing that, my apologies). Honestly, the former didn't need to be filled by a Mexican at all. Evan Bourne, for example, is a guy who is massively over with crowds despite being limited to bumping his ass off for bigger guys and doing the Air Bourne for a huge crowd reaction. If they'd turned him loose earlier, maybe he's the guy who'd have made it possible for Rey Mysterio to get his surgery before it became necessary thanks to injuries exacerbated by holding out.

But then again, he didn't fill the other void. You could argue Alberto del Rio did, but at the same time, would Mexican crowds cheer for a rudo in a company of gringos if he was the only one? It's a very good possibility he could have. I mean, WWE may try to keep heels heel in their hometowns through dastardly actions, but money spent on merchandise and tickets is a neutral language. CM Punk proved that at Money in the Bank. Bret Hart proved it in Canada in 1996-97. My guess is the fact that del Rio was crowned Champion so close to their next big tour of Mexico leads me to believe that they didn't necessarily need to have Mistico to have a Mexican draw.

That being said, it'd be nice to be able to have one on the RAW tour and one on the Smackdown tour as well. Again, the WWE could really expand in Mexico, so I guess you can't blame them for wanting to have as many. But why Mistico? Why couldn't they have put Hunico in the Sin Cara mask all along? It would have cost them less from the get go, and he would have been well-adjusted from start having been "broken" by FCW so to speak. It's easy to say that in retrospect, but the truth is, the Sin Cara role was created for Mistico. It wouldn't have existed if the Mexican superstar wasn't signed up in the first place.

The truth is, I really can't blame WWE for trying to sign the guy in the first place. They hit a home run with Dos Caras, Jr. Maybe they thought they could do better by having an established name come in and do business for them. However, what worked for the middling-to-struggling Caras wasn't just his heritage. It was a year in FCW, vignettes heralding his arrival as Alberto del Rio and working a generally less risky style that made him a success.

It's easy to look at this whole ordeal in retrospect and say what a terrible idea it was, but the fact is that it wasn't so much a mistake as it was a gamble. Triple H, in his first move, swung for the fences and yeah, he may have apparently struck out (remember, no one knows Mistico's status now), he's thinking enough outside of the box that his father-in-law has built that he's going to bring in new and eclectic guys. You live, and you learn, but you won't know if Mistico will be the guy for you unless you sign him (and really, if you divorce his ego from his in-ring, he was looking to be really huge).

Going forward, Hunico being in the Sin Cara mask is probably the right call, as long as nights like last Tuesday are aberrations rather than the norm. That being said, even if it didn't turn out as planned for WWE, bringing in Mistico was the right call. Sometimes though, the right call can turn out bad.

Rey's Out, Give Hunico a Shot!

Hunico wants YOU to support his full-time move to the RAW roster
Photo Credit: FCW Wrestling.com

So, news came down today that Rey Mysterio's knee injury was a lot more serious than first suspected. He tweeted the news of his surgery, and reports are saying that it'll be 4-6 months before he comes back. It's a shame, given how much of a good verve he's had with both Miz and Alberto del Rio lately, but the man's health is paramount, so yeah, he needs to get on the shelf (and probably needed to do so BEFORE working at SummerSlam). That all being said, his absence leaves a huge hole on the RAW roster, both in fan reaction power and in match quality. While both John Cena and CM Punk bring home the bacon in terms of both of those things, well, having a main event with only two heroes, especially when one is tied up with Kevin Nash and Triple H, can be pretty stale.

The obvious answer would be to toss the ball to either John Morrison or Kofi Kingston (read, throw the ball to Kingston because he doesn't suck and his girlfriend isn't prone to allegedly get him in trouble all the time). I'd throw Evan Bourne into that equation because fuck you, Evan Bourne rules. Alex Riley's another option, if you're braindead and really haven't seen that outside of his first couple of weeks, he hasn't shown anything remotely close to a sign of him showing readiness for anything more than a Superstars main event (wow that was fucking wordy even by my standards). That being said, when one of those guys gets the call to be elevated, that leaves another spot open for a fresh face to come in...

Enter Hunico.

Who is Hunico? You've seen him the last two weeks, only not under his FCW-given name. He's been playing the role of Sin Cara for the last two weeks, and while Mistico will resume that role this week, the developmental luchador has turned some heads in a positive manner. While he wasn't as flashy as Mistico was in the Sin Cara role, let's face it, he looked a lot cleaner and didn't mess as much stuff up. That isn't to say he wasn't exciting either. In fact, I'm more impressed with what he's done because he was able to mix the excitement of being Sin Cara while actually looking able to be a WWE employee.

It's not like he was just some guy they just picked up and threw in the Cara mask either. He's been toiling in FCW for a bit now. He had a match with Seth "Tyler Black" Rollins that got a lot of pub recently, and he's been waiting for a shot to get a callup.

How do you bring him in? Well, you can do it one of two ways. The first way would be to debut him against the RAW job squad on RAW rather than on Superstars. Again, he's looking to be a long-term replacement for Rey Mysterio, a high profile spot as it is. There's a demand for masked luchadors who do cool high-flying stuff. So, you give him a debut match against Primo, work to the next week against Drew McIntyre and then maybe after that, who knows.

The second option would be to debut him in a tag team. As we've been seeing on RAW, the rumors of Triple H wanting to reestablish a tag division are beginning to come to fruition, and Hunico isn't just a singles wrestler down in Tampa. He's actually part of a regular tag team called Los Aviadores with another masked guy known as Epico. You want a real, homegrown tag team that'll bump like crazy for the incoming Kings of Wrestling or even for the underrated Nexus team? These guys are your tandem. It would give Hunico something to do to establish himself, and hey, maybe even Epico is good too, and you've got two future luchador stars, y'know, just in case Mistico flames out eventually.

Either way, the guy deserves a shot on the big stage with his own identity. It's hard to fill in for a guy like Mistico, and Hunico proved that he capable of impersonating someone as a stopgap. So, why not let him be himself and begin to craft his own legacy? I know my curiosity is piqued, and even if fans don't realize he was the replacement Sin Cara, I doubt they'd have a problem gravitating to someone exciting as a replacement for when Mysterio eventually has to retire.

John Cena, Imaginary Luchador: Why Bryan Alvarez Needs a Reality Check

Cena doing badly in CMLL wouldn't mean he's a bad worker
Photo Credit: WWE.com

As pointed out by my blogging peer Trey Irby on his Wrestling Theory blog, Bryan Alvarez has some pretty weird opinions about wrestling and what constitutes good wrestling. Here's the quote from Observer Radio, where he takes John Cena to task for being a bad worker, despite the fact that his colleague Dave Meltzer gave a match he was in five stars recently, an honor so rare that it's the first time it was given to a WWF/E match in almost 15 years:

Glad he did one thing well! It’s funny, because last night on this very show, we were talking about the idea of taking WWE main eventers and sending them to do a lucha style in CMLL and find out if they could ‘work.’ John Cena would be literally the worst luchadore of all time. And all those capos and whoever else who’s just horrendous workers down there, good god almighty, they’d work rings around Cena.

So, John Cena's not a good worker because if you put him in a lucha libre fed, he'd suck. There are so many fucking things wrong with that statement that it's not even funny. For one, of course Cena would falter if he went to CMLL or AAA, at least at first. It's a totally different style, based on things that are counter to what he is used to working for WWE. In case Alvarez didn't notice, the converse of that statement is being displayed right before his eyes, or at least it WAS until Sin Cara got suspended for a flunked drug test. The former Mistico was a standout down South of the Border until he came up here. His reckless style, a hit in a lucha libre promotion, made him stick out like a sore thumb in the highly American WWE, and not in a good way. The numerous botches and the sloppy execution of moves he did hit not only put him under a microscope from some of the more discerning wrestling fans, but from his bosses too. If Mistico can't get a handle on how to wrestle WWE style, which according to Alvarez is like totally not on the same level of sophistication as lucha libre, then why use Cena's theoretical lack of handling lucha libre against him, ESPECIALLY since it'd be hypothetical at best given that Cena ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE?

That would beg the issue of Alvarez's opinions that lucha libre is the superior style to the amalgam of styles that come together and meld to form the almost-as-nebulous-as-the-term-"The Internet" WWE style. I wouldn't begrudge him the opinion that lucha libre is the better style to watch. I mean, Chikara is my favorite fed of all-time, and they wrestle a hybrid puroresu-lucha libre style. I can attest to how fun lucha can be. That being said, if I were going to list my ten best matches from 2011 so far, it'd be a total mix of Chikara and WWE right about now, and not to be boastful or anything, but there would be a ton of people who would take that list and agree with it. Why? Because in my opinion, there's no real "style" that's better than another one. The only thing that is better is execution either way. There's bad lucha out there, and if you're going to tell me that the worst lucha is even better than the best John Cena has had to offer in his WWE career (a career that again, has garnered a five star match from Alvarez's colleague for Christ's sake), then I'm going to tell you that you're full of shit.

I expect this pedantic attitude from the smart-ass fans in New York or Chicago or even here in Philly who chant "You can't wrestle!" at Cena because he doesn't shove 2932374 moves into a 12 minute match, but I shouldn't expect it from one of the top two journalists reputedly in American wrestling, especially when both of them go off about psychology all the time. I mean, Cena has proven he can work a match where there's psych in play. Money in the Bank wasn't the first time, and I doubt it'll be the last either. Sure, there are times when he goes out, does the faux-Hulk Hogan take-a-beating-and-come-back-like-nothing-was-wrong routine, but how many times is that him making the call and not the agents in the back or the writers? It's how WWE operates at the main event when they've got a guy like Hogan or Cena or Undertaker (another five star match recipient) or Ultimate Warrior or even Shawn Michaels (the best worker ever according to some people) with his no-selling-tinged kip-ups.

The fact is if you take a guy from one environment and drop him in another, he'll do one of two things. He'll either change to adapt, or he'll force everyone to adapt around him. The former takes time in a lot of cases and the latter is fucking ignorant and ends up bringing the product down. Don't believe me? Ask any fan of WCW to compare the promotion before and after Hogan got there. If Cena went to CMLL or AAA and then started having bad matches right away? It doesn't make him a bad worker, it makes him human. It's the same with Sin Cara. The difference between the two is that in this magical fantasy world, where Cena leaves his godfather position in WWE to go to Mexico, where WWE is killing the crap out of traditional lucha feds, by the way, he would more than likely work on getting better, and within a couple of months, would be one of the best rudo bullies down there with maybe a high flying move or two to his repertoire. Sin Cara? Well, if the dirtsheets, like the one written by Meltzer and the other one written by Alvarez, are to be believed, he's on a fast track out of WWE not because of his working ability, but because of his bad attitude.

So in that regard, I think I'd love to see Cena go to Mexico for a year sabbatical or something. I mean, the WWE would be a bit fresher without him, even though I'd miss him in my own perverse way, but I think it'd be fucking hilarious to see him shut Alvarez up and prove to him that maybe, just maybe, he should stop being a pedantic smark and start doing his job, being a good wrestling journalist who sees things for what they are, not for what he wants them to be.

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 12: Tom Kingsmill

Photo Credit: WWE.com

Episode 12: I Am Not a Fashion Nugget

Vol. 12 of The Wrestling Podcast details one of the liveliest weeks in wrestling history with good friend Tom Kingsmill. We talk about CM Punk, obviously. From his escaping with the title at Money in the Bank through his ComiCon confrontation with Triple H, he’s certainly been the talk of the wrestling community. Also on the docket are Daniel Bryan, Sin Cara and what match we’d book Punk for at WrestleMania. Listen!

Click here for direct link/download

Sin Cara Suspended for Wellness

On the shelf...
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Via WWE.com

When it rains, it pours it seems. Although the blame this clearly rests on his own shoulders, it seems another mishap has befallen Sin Cara in his WWE career, as he flunked a Wellness test. He's gone for 30 days, which it seems is the reason why he got stretchered out of the Allstate Arena last night. The offending substance was not disclosed, but here's where I remind you that steroids and HGH aren't the only things the WWE bans over.

Anyway, I think a 30 day vacation will do the former Mistico good. If you believe the dirtsheets (and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't), the front office is kinda ticked at him for being so damn botchy and not picking up the WWE style fast enough, as if the WWE style is something concrete. That is unless you want to argue to me that Sheamus and Rey Mysterio work exactly the same. He needs to sit back, watch some tapes and then hit the gym and run through spots with anyone who's willing so that when he comes back, he doesn't embarrass the people he's supposed to impress, if that's the case.

But that's enough speculation. The fact is he flunked a drug test, so he's on the sidelines. Hopefully, this is the last roadblock for him, because I'm all about the dude being exciting and bringing lucha libre to a wider audience.

Wrestling Oddsmakers: Smackdown's Money in the Bank Match

Your next Smackdown briefcase holder?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

See the RAW odds here

Okay, so I'm a bit late on handicapping the Smackdown MitB match. The field was announced a couple of weeks ago and reinforced with an opening promo on this week's show. Here are the competitors:

• Cody Rhodes
• Daniel Bryan
• Heath Slater
• Justin Gabriel
• Kane
• Sheamus
• Sin Cara
• Wade Barrett

As with the RAW match, I'm going to handicap the odds for each guy to win this match. This one might be a little tougher to forecast, even though they're strongly, STRONGLY hinting at one among the field taking it.

Heath Slater
Odds: 300 to 1


Yeah, Slater's most likely there to make someone look good, like this:

That is to say, he won't be holding the briefcase.

Justin Gabriel
Odds: 250 to 1

I'd venture to guess that he has similar odds to his tag partner, but I think his might be better. Let's not kid ourselves. He's got a flair in the ring that can make crowds love him and cheer for him. All it'd take is one big spot off a ladder and he'd go from lukewarm heel to budding good guy in a matter of minutes. Now, that isn't to say that I think he's going to win, just that he has a slightly better shot than his partner.

Sin Cara
Odds: 75 to 1

There's a lot riding on Cara right now, as he's Trips' first big signing and the heir apparent to Rey Mysterio as the key to the Mexican audience. That being said, with the visible problems he's having adapting to the WWE style, I doubt they'll give him the ball this early. Like Gabriel, he'll provide some fireworks. He'll probably get a good tease to win too, but I doubt he gets the briefcase this early in his WWE career.

Daniel Bryan
Odds: 60 to 1

Don't get me wrong, I'll be rooting hard for the American Dragon to get the briefcase. Him being in a World Championship match anywhere, any time would be just surreal as it would be markout-inducing. I also think he'll get to World Title level one day. I think they have some faith in him, or else he wouldn't be on the show each week in a meaningful program. That being said, I think we have to be real here. His time, whether as a built up contender or as a flash title grabber, isn't now.

Kane
Odds: 15 to 1

Kane won last year in a match where I'd probably have given him similar odds. His cash-in was a cool moment too. I think he's in the same spot now, although maybe I'd give him worse odds since he doesn't have Undertaker coming back soon to necessitate that he has a title (even though Taker has been above titles for a long time, but hey, whatever). I'd like to say they won't briefcase him two years in a row, but then again, there are so very few reliable hands on the Smackdown side and if they go Alberto del Rio on RAW, they may want to counter that newness with a guy who's been there before.

Cody Rhodes
Odds: 10 to 1

In about a year, Cody Rhodes has gone from Dashing to dynamite. Extending that to two years, he went from job absorber to having his own job absorber. Amazing journey for the younger son of Big Dust. While Wrestling Theory may argue he doesn't need and shouldn't get the shot, there's no doubt that he's on the cusp. The dark horse candidate of the eight.

Sheamus
Odds: 2 to 1

I'd put him in the favorite's spot, but they're telegraphing him to win. That usually means that he's being set up for the fall. The Celtic Warrior, who has been on fire in the last couple of weeks, has been to the top of the mountain before and would be a safe enough pick to win. Plus, he's got heat with both guys in the Smackdown main event. However, with Orton almost proclaiming him to win as a foregone conclusion, something tells me they might go in a different direction...

Wade Barrett
Odds: Even money

...and give RED BELLY the briefcase. They got really close to putting him through to the upper echelon last year by having him work with both Orton and John Cena. They're high on him, but this high? Well, if you look at the trends of who have won briefcases, things bode well for the former leader of Nexus. CM Punk's second briefcase came off him losing the Intercontinental Championship to JBL. Jack Swagger won his out of nowhere, being in a throwaway program around Royal Rumble with Santino before fading into the Superstar Zone between that time and WrestleMania. The Miz and Kane were both in the middle of big pushes, so they provide some sort of counterbalance to the trend. Either way, Barrett, coming off losing everything, now has a fresh start. Sheamus has heat with Christian and Orton and doesn't need the briefcase. Barrett? Right now, he needs an angle to cling to. That's why I feel like he's the favorite to win.

One Last Dream Match: John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

Cena's last dream match is against... Rey?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you don't know, I tend to live-Tweet RAW every Monday. I'm not the only one. There's a live cast of Twitter-characters on display, from guys talking about the show for realsies like Sugar Dunkerton to the outright trolls like Typical ROH Fan. OF course, my Fair to Flair cohorts tweet RAW from time to time, the most active being Razor of Kick-Out!! Blog. Last night, during the show, Razor had this observation during the three-way for a replacement Number One Contender among R-Truth, Alberto del Rio and Rey Mysterio:

I have a feeling this match is just a distraction, but the idea of John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio is very intriguing to me.

It's intriguing to me. As we'd find out later that night, the last time the two had faced off one-on-one was in 2003, before Cena turned face. The closest we've gotten since both guys hit the main event was last year at Viewer's Choice, when Rey was up for vote to face Cena in the main event. We all know how that turned out; CM Punk won the vote and he and his Straight Edge Society were offered up to slaughter for the Nexus' epic debut.

It's almost inarguable that these two guys are the biggest draws in WWE right now. Randy Orton may be anchoring Smackdown, but I still feel like he's a work in progress. Besides, we've seen Orton/Mysterio and Orton/Cena a whole lot. But Cena/Mysterio would be pretty magical, or at the very least fresh. I'd even say this is one of three dream matches left in WWE. One is Cena/Rock, and we're getting that at WrestleMania next year. The other is Cena/Undertaker, a match we'll probably never get because it's a WrestleMania-main event-caliber match, and next year will more than likely be Taker's last run.

The thing is, the window for Rey/Cena is closing as well. Rey is also not a spring chicken. Although he's not reached his 40th birthday yet, his knees are notoriously in bad shape to the point where if he retired next year, next month or next week, it wouldn't be surprising. They can't pull the trigger on it now because I feel like it's a WrestleMania main event, or at the very least something to headline SummerSlam. Cena's got a dream match in his sights, so he needs to stay occupied with temporary hurdles, be they del Rio, The Miz, Punk, Truth or even a returning Batista or Chris Jericho.

But if they do tangle? It would definitely be an intriguing match. Both guys are solid workers, although in different ways. Mysterio, although limited by his bad knees, is still a high-flyer and a hard bumper. Cena is a powerhouse whose big moves pop crowds. There's one more very interesting dynamic that would come into play here. Cena rarely ever works against guys who are smaller than, say, The Miz. WWE doesn't grow heels as small as Rey, and usually, if you're that small, you're typecast into a scrappy underdog role₁. I'd be very keen on seeing how Cena plays the big bully role.

An even more intriguing scenario would be heel Rey taking on Cena. It might seem incomprehensible now, but one of the more popular fantasy booking has Rey turning heel after growing jealous of Sin Cara. Everyone would assume that if this wasn't a face/face match that Cena would be the heel, but unless someone comes along who usurps Cena in popularity, I don't see him ever changing alignments. Rey though? I feel like he gets taken for granted more than Cena does. That's a situation that's so new to me that I can barely begin to process it.

Still, it goes to prove that there are many different possibilities for this dream match if it ever happens. I hope it does, because it could be a really cool thing to watch. Even for a jaded fan trying to reclaim his past innocence (futilely maybe), it would be a dream match come true.

1 - It's a big reason why I think Austin Aries remains unsigned by WWE, not just because of his size, but because of a combination of his size and his natural heel proclivities.

Future Endeavors 7/2 Power Poll: And That's a Shoot... OR IS IT ZOMG

Hi Colt Cabana!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bro Vaughn, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. CM Punk (Last Week: 1)
2. Mark Henry (NR)
3. Davey Richards (NR)
4. Randy Orton (2)
5. R-Truth (9)
6. Rey Mysterio (5)
7. Alberto Del Rio (8)
8. John Cena (3)
9. Christian (4)
10. Sin Cara (NR)

And now, my ballot.

1. CM Punk - If you don't know why, you may be brain-damaged.

2. Mark Henry - Someone got they ass whipped Monday (Big Show and Kane) and somebody got they wig split (the cage) at the hands of the World's Strongest Man. Any other week, and I'm voting him #1. MARK HENRY SOLIDARITY FOREVER, BITCHES.

3. Shiima Xion/Zema Ion - What a week for the indie rising star. He won his Impact Destination X tournament match and then on Sunday, cashed in his Todd Pettingil Invitational title shot on Johnny Gargano to become the new AIW Absolute Champion.

4. Davey Richards - For winning the ROH World Championship and having a match that some say you'd have to be soulless not to enjoy.

5. Green Ant - The resilient rookie of the Colony is heating up. I'm pretty sure making Claudio Castagnoli tap out to win the Battle of the Kings of Trios for his squad is a pretty huge deal.

6. Rachel Summerlyn - Gotta give some love to the ACW American Joshi Queen of Queens. Plus, I figure if I didn't rank her, both John Hyperion AND Brandon Stroud might disavow knowing me.

7. Mercedes Martinez - 30 months with the WSU Title? That's impressive.

8. El Generico - OLE! New ROH Television Champion! Very excite! - EG Web Translate

9. Sin Cara - Fireworks on two shows during the voting period.

10. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan ranking.

Viewer's Choice: Either Go Full on or Don't Do It at All

Power to the people my  hairy white ass
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Last year, I was convinced most of the selections for the Viewer's Choice RAW were rigged, or if they weren't rigged, the choices were contrived in such a way that there was only one choice that could win. Then, for the main event, the dream match scenario of John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio came up, and the WWE Universe fanbase proved me wrong and voted for CM Punk. The resulting match produced one of the most surreal moments in 2010, as the Nexus debuted and not only laid waste to Cena but to the heel Punk and his Straight Edge Society henchmen. It was there that I was convinced that the voting, at least last year, was legit, because there was no way that they didn't want Rey, their other cash cow babyface, to be the other beatdown victim from the new marauding stable of rookie malcontents. Of course, I still maintain Punk was the better option all along because it reinforced that the Nexus really wasn't going to take shit from anyone, bad guy or good. It also provided delicious irony for later in the year when Punk assumed control of the group from Wade Barrett, but that's fodder for a whole other blog post.

So, I thought we'd see more of the same last night, right? Gimme choices, followed by maybe a poll where Zack Ryder was involved in and won despite being the guy who was clearly sent in as "fodder". Yeah, then Mason Ryan was selected as an opponent for Evan Bourne over Sin Cara. I wanted to see that match just for the lulz, but at the same time, I knew there was no way that the fans would have turned down the opportunity to see Bourne and nee-Mistico make the 4th of July come early, especially for a musclehead who is still learning how to work.

Well, turns out I was right. WWE posted a press release on their website saying that voting was "inaccurate" and that choices weren't reflective of what the fans wanted. On one hand, it'd be stupid to think that a staged performance would leave the show up to chance. On the other hand, when you promise "Power to the People" and don't deliver, it's just another bait and switch. For those who were born yesterday, bait and switch tactics are bad form.

Honestly, if they wanted Mason Ryan to obliterate Evan Bourne, then there was no need to get the fans' hopes up to do it. Yeah, they're probably going to have a make-good match on Smackdown between the two high-flyers, but it's not the same at all. You don't need to be a psychologist to figure out that people like to have a say in things, whether they deserve to or not. Why else do 50+ million vote in American Idol each year? Hell, why do you think people risk their lives for democracy? When you transparently act as if that choice doesn't matter, and then later on in the week blatantly tell them that it didn't, then you make for a lot of angry people. Angry people aren't great customers.

Granted, I doubt the WWE is going to lose a lot of business over this, but it's the general principle. If they keep doing things like this, or like advertising a dark match main event and giving them Mark Henry standing in the ring looking all pissed off looking for Sin Cara, then they risk alienating some fans. If I were them, I'm not sure I'd be in the business of intentionally alienating anyone. Sure, no decision they make is going to be 100% popular, but fucking with people is never a good idea.

So, here's what they should do next year. If they do Viewer's Choice again, then actually have contingencies for every option the fans may choose. If not, and if they have a specific booking plan in place, then don't fucking do Viewer's Choice. It's as simple as that. I don't want to hear 3 hours of John Lennon singing "power to the people" and feel like it's a lie. Throw me a bone or don't tease it. It's as simple as that.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

This Week in DVR: So Much Stroke *Gag*

Christian, Master of All He Surveys
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I watched what I couldn't watch live on my DVR and on the Internet this week. Here's what stood out:

Matches:

Cutler Bros. (Dustin and Brandon) vs. the RockNES Monsters (Johnny Goodtime and Johnny Yuma), best 2 out of 3 falls, on NWA Hollywood - I thought that the match ending in a no-contest was a bit weak. That being said, I still thought it was entertaining, especially the brawl post match that went out onto LaBrea Boulevard. Good tag work, and the second fall was a really good display of face in peril by Goodtime.

Yoshi Tatsu vs. Tyson Kidd on Superstars - Really cool match. I like that Superstars has become the exposition area for Kidd, because he's a promising worker and gets better each week. This week, we had a clinic in working over the leg, and Tatsu again got the win with an out-of-nowhere kick. I like the flash finishes, although call me crazy, but they're running this Kidd-needs-a-manager angle and they don't even have the managers trying to interfere in the matches? Eh, either way, this was a really good match.

Daniel Bryan and Sin Cara vs. Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes on Smackdown - As groan-inducing as the genesis of this match was, the action itself was really good. Sin Cara's offensive maneuvering was kept to a minimum, with what he did do looking impressive. Bryan, obviously, carried the match for his team from an offensive standpoint. I continue to be impressed with how well Cara is picking up the selling side of the WWE game. Both heels were pretty good in their roles. The finish was really nice. I love how they're putting over the LeBell lock as a move that could be hit anywhere. I thought they were going to have Bryan get the win with the guillotine choke, but I liked the segue into the LeBell Lock anyway.

Shows:

NWA Hollywood - The wrestling on the show was a bit disappointing outside of the main event. That being said, it was still a fun show, especially the antics of Disco Machine. I loved his spot where he went for the test of strength with Todd Chandler and ended up turning it into a disco-dancing spot. Where has he been all my life? Not a whole lot in the way of angle advancement here either, but that's okay, since next week we'll be starting the Be the Star Tournament.

Superstars - I thought it was funny that they turned the Mark Henry rib into an angle with Johnny Curtis refusing to come out. Might as well make lemonade out of lemons, especially since it was a dick move to fuck with Henry and that crowd with the original rib anyway. Other than that and the main event, I thought Superstars was off this week. Not even Chris Masters could make JTG look good, and really, any multi-Divas match that DOESN'T include Nattie, AJ or Beth Phoenix takes a miracle to be good.

Impact - Why does everything have to be so shooty? Why do there have to be legal storylines? Why is nearly every tag team broken up within minutes of forming? Why is the main heat mechanism for the Knockouts involve them calling each other bitches and sluts and whores? I don't know why I bother anymore. Seriously, when the World Champion is talking about keeping his belt, not to be the best in his company, but to keep his "stroke" against the two NPC authority figures, you know the "wrestling matters" tagline is a lie.

Smackdown - The show was a bit flat this week, which is especially surprising because it was wrestling heavy. Whenever any WWE show has a lot of long matches, it's usually good. I thought the only real standout match was the tag match. The main event was good but it went on too long and really didn't grab me until the very end when Christian got involved. Then there's this Jinder Mahal business... eh, he's okay, but right now, the character side of him is definitely stronger. I really am not feeling the Corre breakup either.

That being said, the main event angle with Christian and Randy Orton is really strong. This is the best feud in WWE right now, and the best main event feud they've had since before John Cena got "fired" after Survivor Series. It's so simple, but it works. Christian really does bring out the best in everyone, because even Orton was cutting some lively promos for the first time in awhile. The only thing I'm not feeling is that I don't want to boo Christian. I don't want to boo Orton either, well, I don't want to boo him for anything that I didn't already want to boo him for. The real heel here is Teddy Long. Christian is absolutely right. But hey, I'm not the guy they want to boo Captain Charisma, so as long as the story's good, and it has been so far, I'm alright.

Oh, and in case you're wondering where NXT went, I'm done with that shit. It's not worth watching at all to me. Follow folks on Twitter like @ThingsColeSays for your NXT fix, as they have WAY more patience with that show than I do. They do God's work here, people.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Future Endeavors 6/11 Power Poll: Tough Enough to the Top

TE winner and top of the power poll
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bro Rocca, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Andy Leavine (Last week: NR)
2. R-Truth (1)
3. Christian (5)
4. Randy Orton (3)
5. Alex Riley (2)
6. John Cena (NR)
7. Booker T (NR)
8. The Miz (NR)
9. Daniel Bryan (6)
10. Sin Cara (8)

And now, my ballot:

1. Andy Leavine - I know I didn't watch Tough Enough, but hey, this is as good a consolation prize for him getting slapped and Stunnered in his first action as an official WWE wrestler.

2. Christian - He finally turned heel, keeping Sheamus from winning the World Championship and walloping Randy Orton with it after the match. Big waves for a guy who's been the focus of Smackdown for the better part of two months now.

3. YAMATO - He made it out of the weekend as the Open the Freedom Gate Champion, which given how infrequent title switches happen in DGUSA may not be impressive, but then again, he did defeat the English Jumping Bean PAC.

4. R-Truth - Despite the inappropriate wardrobe choice, he was again on fire Monday. My favorite was when he accused Obama of wanting to throw him off a boat. Must be stumping for Republican support.

5. Booker T - NOSTALGIA!

6. Alex Riley - Three weeks, and his push isn't derailed. They just might be serious about him.

7. John Cena - Stock John Ce... wait, wrong wrestler for a stock ranking. Okay.

8. The Miz - Yes, I did vote for all the members in the main event tag match on RAW. Why do you ask?

9. Johnny Gargano - He traded wins with Austin Aries, getting the win in the stable war over him. Also, he's the whole shebang.

10. Evan Bourne - DIRECT BENEFICIARY OF NOSTALGIA!

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Future Endeavors 6/5 Power Poll: The Truth Has Set Us Free

Truf giving those Cena plants fans the what for
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Khal Brogo, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. R-Truth (Last Week: 4)
2. Alex Riley (3)
3. Randy Orton (1)
4. Sheamus (8)
5. Christian (2)
6. Daniel Bryan (NR)
7. CM Punk (7)
8. Sin Cara (9)
9. Ezekiel Jackson (10)
10. Evan Bourne (NR)

And now, my ballot!

1. R-Truth - Little Jimmy got chided. Big Jimmy got a face full of soda. And John Cena got trolled hardcore into a WWE Championship match at Capitol Punishment... of course, if Truth apologizes. I'm sure he'll find a way around it. I'm finally on the Truf-Train now, mainly because he was so awesome on RAW last week.

2. Claudio Castagnoli - Two successful PWG title defenses last weekend get the Very European superstar here. His first title defense even came against his oldest friend and rival Chris Hero despite the fact that the top rope on the ring broke a third of the way into the match. That takes steely resolve.

3. Alex Riley - Another week, another step forward for Miz's former lackey. If WWE's not careful, they may have a budding superstar on their hands.

4. Alex Shelley - He was the bringer of fanservice last weekend, promising both a MCMG/American Wolves match and putting his name on the bottom line for a Generation Next reunion against the Young Bucks and a hired hand of their choice. Oh yeah, he also wrestled in two tremendous matches.

5. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bry... wait, what do you mean he won a match against Cody Rhodes last week on Smackdown? YAY!

6. Evan Bourne - SURPRISE win against Jack SWAGGAH~! on RAW and because, according to reader Dorian, I have a mancrush on him. Well, I will neither confirm nor deny that.

7. CM Punk - I think if you get a clean win over Rey Mysterio, you get a spot on this list. I love the Tajiri Kick as a new alternate finisher as well.

8. The Young Bucks - Survived the weekend as PWG Tag Champions, including against the reformed team of Austin Aries and Roderick Strong.

9. Akira Tozawa - Ended his whirlwind run in PWG for the time being with three standout performances, including an emotional, action-packed affair against Chris Hero. Tozawa is the man, folks.

10. Sheamus - For earning a title shot, fella.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

More on the Mark Henry Rib

Somebody done got they ass ribbed
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Okay, so by now, you know I have a source close to a wrestler whose former ring name rhymes with Clamerican Bragon who's kinda plugged into things backstage in WWE. For reasons that I don't want to get him or BD in trouble, I can't name names. Obviously. I'm putting this disclaimer here because I don't want to be just like all the other "dirtsheets" who quote nebulous sources within the company when they report on these kinds of things. This is as much of a primary source as you're going to get.

Okay, so apparently, there are some details surrounding the Mark Henry rib. First and foremost, the rib came straight from the top of the company, Vince McMahon himself. Henry was told he'd be facing Sin Cara in the dark match main event. Henry went to go over spots with Cara, only to be foiled because the former Mistico doesn't speak English. At this point, Henry still didn't know it was a rib, and he went out to the ring while his music played on loop for 10 minutes. All the other wrestlers and agents were in on it, so they were crowded around the monitors to see what was going on.

Anyway, Henry waited out there for a good 40 minutes before saying "fuck this" and leaving the ring area. He went to the back and just started throwing a temper tantrum in the Gorilla position (for those who don't know, the Gorilla position is the antechamber between the mystical area known as "The Back" and the main arena, named as such because that's where Gorilla Monsoon used to hang out later in his career). He was overheard as saying "FUCK THIS PLACE, I QUIT". In the funniest development, he kept his tantrum going in the locker room, yelling at various guys while he was naked. I guess whether I could have kept a straight face with a naked Henry yelling at me would be directly proportional to how afraid I was of him.

I thought this story was pretty funny, especially Henry's reaction to it. I still think it was unprofessional to do, not because it was a rib on Henry, per se (ribs are pretty common in wrestling, just ask anyone who knew Owen Hart), but again, because it was toying with the crowd. You don't do that kind of false advertising, especially if they're accustomed to getting a dark match main event. However, I do admit that if I were in the locker room, I'd probably have been laughing my ass off at this too. Then again, if I were a pro wrestler or worked for WWE, I'd probably not be writing this blog. OR WOULD I?

Anyway, I also want to issue a formal retraction and apology to Michael PS Hayes. I doubt he reads this, but at the same time, I feel bad for insinuating a racially motivated mean-spirited prank when it was just a rib that came down from Vince himself. Mea culpa.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

WWE Raids Mexico Again

Via the LuchaBlog

Averno, one of the hottest rudos in CMLL, signed with WWE, following in the footsteps of Mistico (Sin Cara) and Dos Caras, Jr. (Alberto del Rio). He apparently signed in secret and CMLL upper management doesn't know yet, which is lulz-inducing if you ask me. News like that makes TNA's management decisions look continuous and coordinated. Anyway, according to LuchaBlog, he'll be coming in unmasked, and also as a hand-picked opponent for Sin Cara. The WWE is reportedly unhappy with their investment and want more "agreeable" opponents for him. Cara, as Mistico, and Averno have a pretty intense history as in-ring rivals in Mexico.

Anyway, this is big news as the WWE continues to look south for talent. Of course, they'd be well-served to look in the American indies for seasoned talent too, but let's not get too ahead of ourselves here.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!