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| Via Julia Segel/Skull Swap |
I swear to God, I'll actually blog some coherent thoughts instead of Youtubes, pictures and links. But this was too damn good not to post.
Showing posts with label The Rock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Rock. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The Rock Gets Meme Treatment
I swear to God, I'll actually blog some coherent thoughts instead of Youtubes, pictures and links. But this was too damn good not to post.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Your Favorite Wrestlers Ever: Jarret Aubry
Now that my own favorites list is out of the way, I posed the question to some of my colleagues in the fan/writer community. Who are your favorite five wrestlers?
Next up is a guy that I've been acquainted with for the last 12 years. He's a good egg, which is Canadian for "a decent fellow". Jarret Aubry is his name, and he's the webmaster at A1-Wrestling, a fine message board, community and collection of Internet degenerates like myself. He also is one of the voices of the A1 Podcast, which is a great listen. Here are his favorite wrestlers.
5. AJ Styles - What's not to like about AJ Styles? A staple and cornerstone of TNA (now Impact) Wrestling in its infancy, Styles helped put the X-Division on the map with his speed, agility, and high-flying ability. One might argue that he isn't great on the mic, but he's shown on several occasions that when he delivers an intense and focused promo, you want to listen, and has been constantly improving on the mic over the years. I still mark out every time I see a Pele kick, and some of the high flying and more acrobatic moves he pulls off are so fun to watch, yet the guy can absolutely go on the mat as well; his series of matches with Christopher Daniels are stuffed with magic. While he's on the small side, Styles is the complete package in the ring and a guy I'd have no problem putting in the upper tier of any fed I'd be running.
4. Bret Hart - The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. A catch phrase that ended up not being too far from the truth. I always enjoyed watching Bret in the ring. His moniker of the "Excellence of Execution" was dead on; Hart moved around the ring and delivered his offense like a wrestling assassin. Measured, deliberate, and deadly, every move was calculated to deliver maximum impact and to set up, or get into position to set up the Sharpshooter. I really liked the way Hart sold as a face; he'd get beaten into within an inch of his life, and he'd really look like it. He really made you believe he was totally getting his ass kicked, and made you even feel for the guy. His ability in the ring is unquestioned, and has one of the best finishers of all time (even if he ripped it off of Sting).
3. "Macho Man" Randy Savage - Like I noted about Bret Hart above, I enjoyed Savage as a good guy. He was the best to me as the underdog fighting the greater odds or the bigger opponent, the guy that would do anything he had to in order to overcome those odds or get by the much bigger opponent. One of the first of his era to specialize coming off the top rope, Savage moved like a cat; the dude was just SO quick, so graceful in the ring. I always loved how he took a strike to the head (whether it was as simple as a punch to face, elbow to the head, or as nasty as a chair), he sold it like he'd been shot. Like Hart, he could make it look like he was getting beaten into within inches of a months-long hospital visit, and he really drew you into that and made you believe it. He brought us the awesome, graceful, yet devastating top rope elbow, and good guy or bad, his promos were *always* entertaining. One half of my favorite wrestling angle of all time, the Savage/Elizabeth/Hogan triangle. Definitely a one-of-a-kind.
1b. The Rock - Really, what has to be said about The Rock? The Rock has entertained and electrified like no other before him. His raw charisma, combined with that ability to draw in, use, and feed off the crowd is the stuff of legends. Rock has delivered more entertaining, hilarious, jaw-dropping, raucous, awesome promos than anyone else in the business, and as he would say, "without a shadow of a doubt", his in-ring work got better and better each and every time he stepped into the ring. His sharpshooter may have sucked, but near the end of his run, he was constantly adding more moves to his arsenal, constantly getting crisper, constantly improving, to the point that I believe if he'd hung around for another couple years in his prime, he would be one of the top candidates for greatest of all time. Yup, I said it.
1a. Hulk Hogan - Like The Rock, what do you say about Hulk Hogan that hasn't already been said? Put whatever backstage politics you believe aside, as a kid, Hogan was the first real star that I latched on to. To me as a kid, Hulk Hogan was a super hero come to life. He was this massive, muscular guy that wanted me to be the best I could be, that believed in me. He took on the biggest enemies, righted the biggest wrongs, and fought for the biggest causes. He was a super hero, but at the same time just a man, and that was endearing at that age. In-ring ability aside (as displayed in North America), Hogan is on a level with such a select few with the ability to work a crowd, and as such was always a great entertainer. Hogan was involved in most of the biggest moments in wrestling since his arrival; the first Wrestlemania, slamming Andre the Giant, really taking wrestling mainstream, the love triangle with Elizabeth and Randy Savage, which to me, was the greatest angle of all time. I really believed that stuff when I was kid. The training, the prayers, and the vitamins, and take 15 years of that and turn it all on its head when Hogan became Hollywood Hulk Hogan, turning heel and forming the nWo... it was shocking. So, for that era, those changing times, all those special moments, that nostalgia when it comes to pro wrestling, Hogan will always have a place in my wrestling heart.
Next up is a guy that I've been acquainted with for the last 12 years. He's a good egg, which is Canadian for "a decent fellow". Jarret Aubry is his name, and he's the webmaster at A1-Wrestling, a fine message board, community and collection of Internet degenerates like myself. He also is one of the voices of the A1 Podcast, which is a great listen. Here are his favorite wrestlers.
 |
| 1a vs. 1b Photo Credit: WWE.com |
4. Bret Hart - The best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. A catch phrase that ended up not being too far from the truth. I always enjoyed watching Bret in the ring. His moniker of the "Excellence of Execution" was dead on; Hart moved around the ring and delivered his offense like a wrestling assassin. Measured, deliberate, and deadly, every move was calculated to deliver maximum impact and to set up, or get into position to set up the Sharpshooter. I really liked the way Hart sold as a face; he'd get beaten into within an inch of his life, and he'd really look like it. He really made you believe he was totally getting his ass kicked, and made you even feel for the guy. His ability in the ring is unquestioned, and has one of the best finishers of all time (even if he ripped it off of Sting).
3. "Macho Man" Randy Savage - Like I noted about Bret Hart above, I enjoyed Savage as a good guy. He was the best to me as the underdog fighting the greater odds or the bigger opponent, the guy that would do anything he had to in order to overcome those odds or get by the much bigger opponent. One of the first of his era to specialize coming off the top rope, Savage moved like a cat; the dude was just SO quick, so graceful in the ring. I always loved how he took a strike to the head (whether it was as simple as a punch to face, elbow to the head, or as nasty as a chair), he sold it like he'd been shot. Like Hart, he could make it look like he was getting beaten into within inches of a months-long hospital visit, and he really drew you into that and made you believe it. He brought us the awesome, graceful, yet devastating top rope elbow, and good guy or bad, his promos were *always* entertaining. One half of my favorite wrestling angle of all time, the Savage/Elizabeth/Hogan triangle. Definitely a one-of-a-kind.
1b. The Rock - Really, what has to be said about The Rock? The Rock has entertained and electrified like no other before him. His raw charisma, combined with that ability to draw in, use, and feed off the crowd is the stuff of legends. Rock has delivered more entertaining, hilarious, jaw-dropping, raucous, awesome promos than anyone else in the business, and as he would say, "without a shadow of a doubt", his in-ring work got better and better each and every time he stepped into the ring. His sharpshooter may have sucked, but near the end of his run, he was constantly adding more moves to his arsenal, constantly getting crisper, constantly improving, to the point that I believe if he'd hung around for another couple years in his prime, he would be one of the top candidates for greatest of all time. Yup, I said it.
1a. Hulk Hogan - Like The Rock, what do you say about Hulk Hogan that hasn't already been said? Put whatever backstage politics you believe aside, as a kid, Hogan was the first real star that I latched on to. To me as a kid, Hulk Hogan was a super hero come to life. He was this massive, muscular guy that wanted me to be the best I could be, that believed in me. He took on the biggest enemies, righted the biggest wrongs, and fought for the biggest causes. He was a super hero, but at the same time just a man, and that was endearing at that age. In-ring ability aside (as displayed in North America), Hogan is on a level with such a select few with the ability to work a crowd, and as such was always a great entertainer. Hogan was involved in most of the biggest moments in wrestling since his arrival; the first Wrestlemania, slamming Andre the Giant, really taking wrestling mainstream, the love triangle with Elizabeth and Randy Savage, which to me, was the greatest angle of all time. I really believed that stuff when I was kid. The training, the prayers, and the vitamins, and take 15 years of that and turn it all on its head when Hogan became Hollywood Hulk Hogan, turning heel and forming the nWo... it was shocking. So, for that era, those changing times, all those special moments, that nostalgia when it comes to pro wrestling, Hogan will always have a place in my wrestling heart.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Your Favorite Wrestlers Ever: Butch Rosser
Now that my own favorites list is out of the way, I posed the question to some of my colleagues in the fan/writer community. Who are your favorite five wrestlers?
Today's entry comes to us all the way from Rey Mysterio country from one of the original TWB superfans, Butch Rosser. An old e-fedding buddy of mine, Butch currently spends his life DJing, watching wrestling and eating carne asada burritos just a scant few miles north of where those things would be wholly authentic. He also is the first entrant to be so damn verbose that I have to throw in a jump tag here, so yeah, if you're reading this from the main page, you'll find about 95% of what he wrote after the jump. It's all good though. Real, real good.
DISCLAIMER: This ensuing list is of my favorite five wrestlers. If you don't like it, by all means feel free to choke to death on a bagful of AIDS-infested hobo dicks. That is all.
--Management.
5. Chris Jericho - Growing up in God's country - known to the rest of you mere mortals as San Diego - I grew up watching lucha libre on Saturday nights, and on Sunday mornings when the commercials came on football games. Like Australian rules football, I didn't get all the cultural nuances but I loved the Big Giant Points I could pick up on in my prepubescent days. I loved the fact there were evil referees that for no good reason were held in just as high a regard as the good referees. I loved the masks. I loved the fact grandmas swung purses at the meanies.
And into this world stepped a blonde-haired man nicknamed Corazon de Leon.
Watching Chris Jericho in lucha libre was jarring. It was like if they recast that Pig World episode of the Twilight Zone with Maryse as the lead. But he had a lot of talent, that much was obvious, and the fact he was a bad guy who the fans quickly derided with Corazon de Pollo just got me even more interested.
That was over 20 years ago. Watching him making WCW watchable in his brief moments when the spotlight wasn't on the nWo was always good (#4: ARMbar, the trip to Washington, the Ted Turner letter, #457: Canadian armbar, the slow-burning Malenko angle, #583: Mexican armbar, Ralphus, etc). Around this time, there was also a series of tubes that informed me that the people backstage writing the show weren't giving Jericho a fair shake. I thought that sucked. And as time passed, it became increasingly frustrating for me to watch Nitro at all. Like watching Brian Krakow virtually kill himself for Angela Jordan over and over again only to get run over by some pretty boy WHO COULDN'T EVEN FUCKING READ, Jericho's Sisyphusian efforts to make himself a commodity despite the tidal wave of idiocy he was swimming against only further put me in his corner.
And then his contract was up. And then he was off for the Promised Land.
I was one of those about to rock and WWE set the clock.
From praying to catch a moment on Thunder to smacktalking the Rock? What the fuck is Nitro? GO JERICHO GO!
In his first face run he helped elevate Stephanie to the highest realm of heeldom, paired with the Rock (how WWE never made those two a Lethal Weapon movie is some king-sized bullshit) for some of the most entertaining promos ever, and, oh, yeah, he and Lord Voldemort kicked out the mothereffin' jams over the IC belt before taking down the Two-Man Power Trip in what's probably the greatest tag match to never exist.
In the first heel run, despite being hHhampered (GOOD GOD AM I CLEVER OR WHAT) by some WCW backstageesque fuckery he still got to be a slimy, slimy undersized heel who still managed to escape with the belts. He & Shawn Michaels put on one of the best WrestleMania matches of all-time. He grew a manly, manly beard that would only be superceded by Odin, the Lord, Mike Knox, and Balkan women's privates in the seventies. The Christian angle began, but unlike the Stephanie Angle angle paid off logically and brought him back in the graces of the fans naturally and organically. Hell, he was so awesome he got to kiss Trish and I didn't even want to blow up his house. Even when he was feeling emotionally burnt out he managed to help introduce MITB to the WWE lexicon, put over Shelton for the IC belt, and Cena on his way out the door. When he made his '07 return, I knew I was psyched to see him again and he would be bringing something swank to the table.
And I was completely right.
Just not how I was expecting to be.
Outside of Punk v. the World lately I can't think of an angle I've enjoyed more in the past few years than Jericho/Michaels II. Watching Chris snap over time, then slowly stripping himself of all the familiarities that marked his first go-round he made himself stand out. (Unfortunately, he also set an archtype for WWE heels that's being followed to this day, but you don't blame Rakim for all these bullshit rappers on the radio.) Calculating, self-righteous, willing to employ any devious means at his disposal, the act of becoming the Bizzaro World Barney Stinson made Chris Jericho and I get a feeling when he's rememebered, this run is what he'll be remembered for above all. Why wouldn't it be? The epic series with Michaels. He took Hall of Famers and made them relevant for a whole new generation. He went on another run of epics with Rey Mysterio over the IC where that storyline in totality alone would make an awesome DVD. He was so secure in his spot that he put over Evan Bourne and JTG, knowing heat was a thing he could generate like Rachel Maddow at an Iow caucus. And in his (to date) last act with the company he again put over a younger talent by letting Randall K. Orton punt him upside the head.
Worked both sides of the fence. Excelled in either role, and redefined them. Put on good to classic matches. Made new stars up and down the pike. Put over the next class of wrestlers and ceded the spotlight. And overcame the bullshit on a multitude of occassions.
What else can you ask?
4. Ultimate Warrior - One of the first wrestlers I ever saw, he was the one who got my attention and kept it. The theme music that made you want to just start whaling on people, the coked-out run to the ring, the rope shaking, the bright colors. There are tons of reasons to denigrate his current mental state for the most part, and unlike the other 4 guys on my list he won't be known for his five-star classics. But as a kid growing up I loved the Warrior because he was visually interesting, strong in a way I could never be, and pretty much punched the bad guys in the face. Failing having ever been a big Hogan fan, there was really only one other way to go.
And now, a top 3 that is pretty much predictable and been pored over by better men than I in this space, so forgive any tingles of deja vu you may get.
3. Shawn Michaels - To paraphrase the first biography of Foley, it wasn't so much the actual things Shawn did as much as the way he did them - literally everything looked good. As much as I feel LT doesn't get enough credit for being the most dominant defensive force of the eighties while being cracked out of his gourd, Shawn doesn't get enough credit for his early run. Sure, he was a backstage king-sized asshole, but truth came to shove he went out and usually put on four or five star classics.
He turned Marty Jannetty into the Andrew Ridgeley of wrestling.
He & Scott Hall took the ladder match to prominence and in a small way set the standard for all air-traffic-control matches to follow.
The Monday Night RAW match with the late great Owen Hart offered a mere amuse bouche of breaking the fourth wall that Mssrs Brooks and Levesque are dining out at today.
Even when he was acting in his own selfish self-interests, he turned "losing my smile" into a meme in our circles.
The Bret fued led to perhaps the most controversial match of all-time, and again, started something often imitated and never fully duplicated.
Considering how limited he was in movements, the passing of the torch to Austin was nothing short of a modern miracle.
And when he came back - not uncoincidentally enough like the #5, and their two feuds were the flowers growing for the past few years in the WWE's post-Attitude pot of dirt - he was just as good, if not better than he was before. It's so weird watching his Summerslam 02 return with the benefit of hindsight knowing that he was going to be right back to bumping around like a pinball, putting over the nascent members of Evolution in order to Make Them Names and having a string of good matches with John Cena.
The last time I saw Shawn Michaels, he was selling a match I barely cared about and got invested in by the force of that sheer promo and mostly his involvement in it alone and did some awesome non-verbal work to do it, too.
The joke in the nineties used to go "If God was a wrestler, he'd be Shawn Michaels." It's a funny line, to be sure.
But some of that humor is based in complete accuracy.
2. The Rock - Unlike Morrissey, the pompadour almost ruined this man's career. Also unlike Morrissey, there was nothing quiet or subtle about the connection this man made to the audience. Once the full force of his charisma was unleashed almost as a reaction to the rise of #1 - relax, we're getting there - he seemed to be a catchphrase machine that served as an ATM for VKM. Even haranguing the audience there was something that just made the fanbase want to laugh and cheer for him.
Within months of the only good and shocking Montreal Redux he was back to being cheered. Mick Foley as both opponent and running buddy continued making him a high-level face even when they were rebuilding the wreckage of the tag divison, and then with ol'-what's-his-face out of the picture he was able to cement himself as the babyface with the conch during a long-running feud with Triple H at his heel best.
And really, the Hollywood Rock era led to not only maybe the best pre-tween-Punk Titantron of all-time, but a charming blend of egomania, comedy, cowardice and periodic ruthlessness not seen outside of Jeff Winger. Hell, he singlehandedly tried make Shane Helms' sorry ass a major face and even put him over. The concerts were criminally good, and it was small wonder he'd go on to perform excellently on SNL (last time I used the phrase YOU DON'T TALK TO NICK ATRELL THAT WAY! in normal conversation: five days ago) and a string of big box-office blockbusters.
With any luck, I'll be yelling at him to beat the Fruity Pebbles out of Cena at Wrestlemania 28 live in Miami.
1. Steve Austin - In one life, a pretty boy technical dick.
In another, far more profitable life, a beer-swilling foul-mouthed everyman.
All the big stuff is going to get got in a little bit, but I wanted to spend some time talking about the first life since it was my introduction to Austin. I was just beginning to smarten up when it came to wrestling, even though I had yet to find the IWC. A handful of bad guys got in my good graces, and it was something I always felt slightly off about it. Stunning Steve Austin helped break that wall down. Arrogance is unearned confidence. Walking around like you're fucking awesome when you are fucking awesome? Completely justified.
Great as he was on his own, his Hollywood Blonds run with Brian Pillman may have put together my favorite year a tag team's ever recorded and highlighted by an insane match against the Horsemen where it was like watching Doomsday fight Lex Luthor, a four-man Can You Top This? of slugging and cheating and everything that makes a man love the professional wrestling.
When in the influx of Hogan sent Austin out, he started showing the signs that would rise him to prominence in WWE in ECW. I hadn't seen any of Austin's ECW run until well after the fact, but you can see him starting to become Stone Cold. It's like listening to Sandanista one day and London Calling the next. And then he went to Stamford and became a big giant star!
Well, that took about a year and a half.
And another year and a half to get to the throne after that.
Make no mistake about it, in a world where sometimes the most minor lower-card event or match threatens to Change Everything Forever, the Austin 3:16 promo actually did. It forced the WWE to go towards a newer and edgier style. It birthed the Anti-Monitor of the cool heel, the ruthless face. It led to Bret Hart going from top babyface to evil scumbag to out of the company in about - you guessed it - a year and a half. It filtered down the card, where an increasingly bratty Michaels and his big-nosed walking fanny pack would turn their own backstage assholeitude into on-camera assholeitude, thus providing another trough for Vince to get his duckets. Some dick with a pompadour who was being shoved down our throats cut his hair, found his promo skills, and would go on to electrify the world for multiple decades. It'd lead to Mick Foley becoming a lovable schizo who seemed absolutely determined to find out the limits of the human body and generally (and thankfully not literally, though almost) killing himself for his amusement.
Hell, that promo was so awesome you probably forgot it also birthed the also famous "and that's the bottom line" tag, didn't you? Understandable.
And, oh, by the way, despite a shitton of crippling injuries, Austin merely modified his style to account for his wrecked body. No longer the workrate king he was once he pretty much through sheer force of will invented the WWE Main Event Style. Though my favorite matches of his were the two big ones against Bret (the definition of getting over in a loss at Survivor Series '96 and then in maaaaaaaaaybe my favorite WM match ever, the double-turn submission match at XIII) his series against Foley as well as the Rock once they feuded over the Winged Eagle are all good-to-great brawls that have nuclear heat.
And count me as another Internet Contrarian who loved the heel turn. Even if it didn't work because of, well, long-term logic (when your ruthless SOB decides to get paid for being a ruthless SOB...how do I put this...YOU STUPID OLD MAN YOU KNEW I WAS A SNAKE) Austin's character logic was faultless: post car-rundown he was no longer secure in himself enough that he could beat a man whom he'd defeated at two other WrestleManias especially on the heels of a pay-per-view loss weeks prior to another rival, so he decided to get the fullest insurance plan necessary in order to hold the thing he desired the most in the world that made him feel whole like his old pre-accident self even if it meant giving in to his most hated rival. But of course, it didn't work: even when Matt Hardy was being valiant and draping his body over Lita's in a vain attempt to save her every time Austin swung the chair my reaction was a hearty yell of GET 'EM, STEVE!
Why was that? I liked the Hardys back then; hell, I usually liked anybody Austin faced in '01 when they were up against Austin. But I always, always rooted for Austin, no matter how Corporate he got. It probably didn't help his opponents' matters in my biased eyes that betwixt he & Kurt Angle they were responsible for my nominees for the two funniest on-camera moments in the history of Stamford: the Hero/Jackass exchange being played by World Champion-level guys emulating Daffy Duck & Bugs Bunny despite being well in their thirties (assuming) and the cowboy hat/badge saga with Austin's one-off reference to the Treasure of Sierra Madre being such a perfect button it drew literal laughs from the audience in real time despite the fact he was being positioned as an overlord of evil scumbaggery who would tee off on his former best friends and the grandfather Best Announcer I Ever Got To See (sorry, Gordon).
And there's the fact that they were throwing the babyface kitchen sink at Austin that year, and stacking a heel turn on top of the one he'd just done some 12 weeks prior to the first one, and yet have you ever looked at that list Austin went in against? A bunch of talent that at the time they were trying to elevate in order to diffuse his loss from the babyface side: the Canadian Chrises both seperately and togther in some awesome live TV matches and surprisingly underwhelming PPV fights, the aforementioned Hardys and Lita, even Spike Dudley got a few TV shows worth of spotlight and established himself as a plucky undersized babyface willing to fight for his woman. In addition to them, Austin also had to fight off the Undertaker and Kane, and went into the summer and fall exchanging some awesome PPV main events against and with Angle and Rob Van Dam. And none of it mattered. Not even when he apparently sold us all down the river (again, to a different set of McMahon).
We just liked Austin too damn much.
He was back on the side of the angels by the end of the year, with no weird grace period in order to fully transition him. The moment he decided to Stun this instead of that everybody threw up a collective "About fucking time" and cheered their lungs out all over again.
And lest you think his connections to making WWE history ended back in the aughts, let me just remind you: somebody had to put Mr. C.M. Punk in that #1 contendership match before Money in the Bank. And who's shirt was being worn when the Promo Heard Round The World. Maybe those are little seeds that may grow into something come next April in Miami. They could be.
What?
You don't know.
So there's my fave 5. And ladies and gentlemen, your brush with greatness is over.
Today's entry comes to us all the way from Rey Mysterio country from one of the original TWB superfans, Butch Rosser. An old e-fedding buddy of mine, Butch currently spends his life DJing, watching wrestling and eating carne asada burritos just a scant few miles north of where those things would be wholly authentic. He also is the first entrant to be so damn verbose that I have to throw in a jump tag here, so yeah, if you're reading this from the main page, you'll find about 95% of what he wrote after the jump. It's all good though. Real, real good.
 |
| Two legends surrounding a dick Photo Credit: WWE.com |
--Management.
5. Chris Jericho - Growing up in God's country - known to the rest of you mere mortals as San Diego - I grew up watching lucha libre on Saturday nights, and on Sunday mornings when the commercials came on football games. Like Australian rules football, I didn't get all the cultural nuances but I loved the Big Giant Points I could pick up on in my prepubescent days. I loved the fact there were evil referees that for no good reason were held in just as high a regard as the good referees. I loved the masks. I loved the fact grandmas swung purses at the meanies.
And into this world stepped a blonde-haired man nicknamed Corazon de Leon.
Watching Chris Jericho in lucha libre was jarring. It was like if they recast that Pig World episode of the Twilight Zone with Maryse as the lead. But he had a lot of talent, that much was obvious, and the fact he was a bad guy who the fans quickly derided with Corazon de Pollo just got me even more interested.
That was over 20 years ago. Watching him making WCW watchable in his brief moments when the spotlight wasn't on the nWo was always good (#4: ARMbar, the trip to Washington, the Ted Turner letter, #457: Canadian armbar, the slow-burning Malenko angle, #583: Mexican armbar, Ralphus, etc). Around this time, there was also a series of tubes that informed me that the people backstage writing the show weren't giving Jericho a fair shake. I thought that sucked. And as time passed, it became increasingly frustrating for me to watch Nitro at all. Like watching Brian Krakow virtually kill himself for Angela Jordan over and over again only to get run over by some pretty boy WHO COULDN'T EVEN FUCKING READ, Jericho's Sisyphusian efforts to make himself a commodity despite the tidal wave of idiocy he was swimming against only further put me in his corner.
And then his contract was up. And then he was off for the Promised Land.
I was one of those about to rock and WWE set the clock.
From praying to catch a moment on Thunder to smacktalking the Rock? What the fuck is Nitro? GO JERICHO GO!
In his first face run he helped elevate Stephanie to the highest realm of heeldom, paired with the Rock (how WWE never made those two a Lethal Weapon movie is some king-sized bullshit) for some of the most entertaining promos ever, and, oh, yeah, he and Lord Voldemort kicked out the mothereffin' jams over the IC belt before taking down the Two-Man Power Trip in what's probably the greatest tag match to never exist.
In the first heel run, despite being hHhampered (GOOD GOD AM I CLEVER OR WHAT) by some WCW backstageesque fuckery he still got to be a slimy, slimy undersized heel who still managed to escape with the belts. He & Shawn Michaels put on one of the best WrestleMania matches of all-time. He grew a manly, manly beard that would only be superceded by Odin, the Lord, Mike Knox, and Balkan women's privates in the seventies. The Christian angle began, but unlike the Stephanie Angle angle paid off logically and brought him back in the graces of the fans naturally and organically. Hell, he was so awesome he got to kiss Trish and I didn't even want to blow up his house. Even when he was feeling emotionally burnt out he managed to help introduce MITB to the WWE lexicon, put over Shelton for the IC belt, and Cena on his way out the door. When he made his '07 return, I knew I was psyched to see him again and he would be bringing something swank to the table.
And I was completely right.
Just not how I was expecting to be.
Outside of Punk v. the World lately I can't think of an angle I've enjoyed more in the past few years than Jericho/Michaels II. Watching Chris snap over time, then slowly stripping himself of all the familiarities that marked his first go-round he made himself stand out. (Unfortunately, he also set an archtype for WWE heels that's being followed to this day, but you don't blame Rakim for all these bullshit rappers on the radio.) Calculating, self-righteous, willing to employ any devious means at his disposal, the act of becoming the Bizzaro World Barney Stinson made Chris Jericho and I get a feeling when he's rememebered, this run is what he'll be remembered for above all. Why wouldn't it be? The epic series with Michaels. He took Hall of Famers and made them relevant for a whole new generation. He went on another run of epics with Rey Mysterio over the IC where that storyline in totality alone would make an awesome DVD. He was so secure in his spot that he put over Evan Bourne and JTG, knowing heat was a thing he could generate like Rachel Maddow at an Iow caucus. And in his (to date) last act with the company he again put over a younger talent by letting Randall K. Orton punt him upside the head.
Worked both sides of the fence. Excelled in either role, and redefined them. Put on good to classic matches. Made new stars up and down the pike. Put over the next class of wrestlers and ceded the spotlight. And overcame the bullshit on a multitude of occassions.
What else can you ask?
4. Ultimate Warrior - One of the first wrestlers I ever saw, he was the one who got my attention and kept it. The theme music that made you want to just start whaling on people, the coked-out run to the ring, the rope shaking, the bright colors. There are tons of reasons to denigrate his current mental state for the most part, and unlike the other 4 guys on my list he won't be known for his five-star classics. But as a kid growing up I loved the Warrior because he was visually interesting, strong in a way I could never be, and pretty much punched the bad guys in the face. Failing having ever been a big Hogan fan, there was really only one other way to go.
And now, a top 3 that is pretty much predictable and been pored over by better men than I in this space, so forgive any tingles of deja vu you may get.
3. Shawn Michaels - To paraphrase the first biography of Foley, it wasn't so much the actual things Shawn did as much as the way he did them - literally everything looked good. As much as I feel LT doesn't get enough credit for being the most dominant defensive force of the eighties while being cracked out of his gourd, Shawn doesn't get enough credit for his early run. Sure, he was a backstage king-sized asshole, but truth came to shove he went out and usually put on four or five star classics.
He turned Marty Jannetty into the Andrew Ridgeley of wrestling.
He & Scott Hall took the ladder match to prominence and in a small way set the standard for all air-traffic-control matches to follow.
The Monday Night RAW match with the late great Owen Hart offered a mere amuse bouche of breaking the fourth wall that Mssrs Brooks and Levesque are dining out at today.
Even when he was acting in his own selfish self-interests, he turned "losing my smile" into a meme in our circles.
The Bret fued led to perhaps the most controversial match of all-time, and again, started something often imitated and never fully duplicated.
Considering how limited he was in movements, the passing of the torch to Austin was nothing short of a modern miracle.
And when he came back - not uncoincidentally enough like the #5, and their two feuds were the flowers growing for the past few years in the WWE's post-Attitude pot of dirt - he was just as good, if not better than he was before. It's so weird watching his Summerslam 02 return with the benefit of hindsight knowing that he was going to be right back to bumping around like a pinball, putting over the nascent members of Evolution in order to Make Them Names and having a string of good matches with John Cena.
The last time I saw Shawn Michaels, he was selling a match I barely cared about and got invested in by the force of that sheer promo and mostly his involvement in it alone and did some awesome non-verbal work to do it, too.
The joke in the nineties used to go "If God was a wrestler, he'd be Shawn Michaels." It's a funny line, to be sure.
But some of that humor is based in complete accuracy.
2. The Rock - Unlike Morrissey, the pompadour almost ruined this man's career. Also unlike Morrissey, there was nothing quiet or subtle about the connection this man made to the audience. Once the full force of his charisma was unleashed almost as a reaction to the rise of #1 - relax, we're getting there - he seemed to be a catchphrase machine that served as an ATM for VKM. Even haranguing the audience there was something that just made the fanbase want to laugh and cheer for him.
Within months of the only good and shocking Montreal Redux he was back to being cheered. Mick Foley as both opponent and running buddy continued making him a high-level face even when they were rebuilding the wreckage of the tag divison, and then with ol'-what's-his-face out of the picture he was able to cement himself as the babyface with the conch during a long-running feud with Triple H at his heel best.
And really, the Hollywood Rock era led to not only maybe the best pre-tween-Punk Titantron of all-time, but a charming blend of egomania, comedy, cowardice and periodic ruthlessness not seen outside of Jeff Winger. Hell, he singlehandedly tried make Shane Helms' sorry ass a major face and even put him over. The concerts were criminally good, and it was small wonder he'd go on to perform excellently on SNL (last time I used the phrase YOU DON'T TALK TO NICK ATRELL THAT WAY! in normal conversation: five days ago) and a string of big box-office blockbusters.
With any luck, I'll be yelling at him to beat the Fruity Pebbles out of Cena at Wrestlemania 28 live in Miami.
1. Steve Austin - In one life, a pretty boy technical dick.
In another, far more profitable life, a beer-swilling foul-mouthed everyman.
All the big stuff is going to get got in a little bit, but I wanted to spend some time talking about the first life since it was my introduction to Austin. I was just beginning to smarten up when it came to wrestling, even though I had yet to find the IWC. A handful of bad guys got in my good graces, and it was something I always felt slightly off about it. Stunning Steve Austin helped break that wall down. Arrogance is unearned confidence. Walking around like you're fucking awesome when you are fucking awesome? Completely justified.
Great as he was on his own, his Hollywood Blonds run with Brian Pillman may have put together my favorite year a tag team's ever recorded and highlighted by an insane match against the Horsemen where it was like watching Doomsday fight Lex Luthor, a four-man Can You Top This? of slugging and cheating and everything that makes a man love the professional wrestling.
When in the influx of Hogan sent Austin out, he started showing the signs that would rise him to prominence in WWE in ECW. I hadn't seen any of Austin's ECW run until well after the fact, but you can see him starting to become Stone Cold. It's like listening to Sandanista one day and London Calling the next. And then he went to Stamford and became a big giant star!
Well, that took about a year and a half.
And another year and a half to get to the throne after that.
Make no mistake about it, in a world where sometimes the most minor lower-card event or match threatens to Change Everything Forever, the Austin 3:16 promo actually did. It forced the WWE to go towards a newer and edgier style. It birthed the Anti-Monitor of the cool heel, the ruthless face. It led to Bret Hart going from top babyface to evil scumbag to out of the company in about - you guessed it - a year and a half. It filtered down the card, where an increasingly bratty Michaels and his big-nosed walking fanny pack would turn their own backstage assholeitude into on-camera assholeitude, thus providing another trough for Vince to get his duckets. Some dick with a pompadour who was being shoved down our throats cut his hair, found his promo skills, and would go on to electrify the world for multiple decades. It'd lead to Mick Foley becoming a lovable schizo who seemed absolutely determined to find out the limits of the human body and generally (and thankfully not literally, though almost) killing himself for his amusement.
Hell, that promo was so awesome you probably forgot it also birthed the also famous "and that's the bottom line" tag, didn't you? Understandable.
And, oh, by the way, despite a shitton of crippling injuries, Austin merely modified his style to account for his wrecked body. No longer the workrate king he was once he pretty much through sheer force of will invented the WWE Main Event Style. Though my favorite matches of his were the two big ones against Bret (the definition of getting over in a loss at Survivor Series '96 and then in maaaaaaaaaybe my favorite WM match ever, the double-turn submission match at XIII) his series against Foley as well as the Rock once they feuded over the Winged Eagle are all good-to-great brawls that have nuclear heat.
And count me as another Internet Contrarian who loved the heel turn. Even if it didn't work because of, well, long-term logic (when your ruthless SOB decides to get paid for being a ruthless SOB...how do I put this...YOU STUPID OLD MAN YOU KNEW I WAS A SNAKE) Austin's character logic was faultless: post car-rundown he was no longer secure in himself enough that he could beat a man whom he'd defeated at two other WrestleManias especially on the heels of a pay-per-view loss weeks prior to another rival, so he decided to get the fullest insurance plan necessary in order to hold the thing he desired the most in the world that made him feel whole like his old pre-accident self even if it meant giving in to his most hated rival. But of course, it didn't work: even when Matt Hardy was being valiant and draping his body over Lita's in a vain attempt to save her every time Austin swung the chair my reaction was a hearty yell of GET 'EM, STEVE!
Why was that? I liked the Hardys back then; hell, I usually liked anybody Austin faced in '01 when they were up against Austin. But I always, always rooted for Austin, no matter how Corporate he got. It probably didn't help his opponents' matters in my biased eyes that betwixt he & Kurt Angle they were responsible for my nominees for the two funniest on-camera moments in the history of Stamford: the Hero/Jackass exchange being played by World Champion-level guys emulating Daffy Duck & Bugs Bunny despite being well in their thirties (assuming) and the cowboy hat/badge saga with Austin's one-off reference to the Treasure of Sierra Madre being such a perfect button it drew literal laughs from the audience in real time despite the fact he was being positioned as an overlord of evil scumbaggery who would tee off on his former best friends and the grandfather Best Announcer I Ever Got To See (sorry, Gordon).
And there's the fact that they were throwing the babyface kitchen sink at Austin that year, and stacking a heel turn on top of the one he'd just done some 12 weeks prior to the first one, and yet have you ever looked at that list Austin went in against? A bunch of talent that at the time they were trying to elevate in order to diffuse his loss from the babyface side: the Canadian Chrises both seperately and togther in some awesome live TV matches and surprisingly underwhelming PPV fights, the aforementioned Hardys and Lita, even Spike Dudley got a few TV shows worth of spotlight and established himself as a plucky undersized babyface willing to fight for his woman. In addition to them, Austin also had to fight off the Undertaker and Kane, and went into the summer and fall exchanging some awesome PPV main events against and with Angle and Rob Van Dam. And none of it mattered. Not even when he apparently sold us all down the river (again, to a different set of McMahon).
We just liked Austin too damn much.
He was back on the side of the angels by the end of the year, with no weird grace period in order to fully transition him. The moment he decided to Stun this instead of that everybody threw up a collective "About fucking time" and cheered their lungs out all over again.
And lest you think his connections to making WWE history ended back in the aughts, let me just remind you: somebody had to put Mr. C.M. Punk in that #1 contendership match before Money in the Bank. And who's shirt was being worn when the Promo Heard Round The World. Maybe those are little seeds that may grow into something come next April in Miami. They could be.
What?
You don't know.
So there's my fave 5. And ladies and gentlemen, your brush with greatness is over.
Unfairly Unforgiven: Historical Perspective and Triple H in the Fall of 2000
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| Did we play The Game wrong too early? Photo Credit: WWE.com |
When that didn't happen at SummerSlam nor at Unforgiven, boy, was the reaction screaming bloody murder. It didn't matter that Angle would win the WWF Championship at No Mercy, the damage was done in that The Rock had to do what Triple H didn't do... put Angle over. At the time, many among us accused Triple H of being a political machinist, someone who was paranoid about his spot and thus screwed Angle out of elevation. In retrospect though, was that fair?
To begin to examine that is to look at the context. The most important part of this background information has nothing to do with the players or the storyline in question, but with the people criticizing it. Internet fans by and large seem to be a fickle bunch. Stereotypically, they're always looking for the next big thing, and if/when that person breaks through, the backlash almost immediately begins. As someone who used to get caught up in that frenzy a lot more than I do now (and I'm not going to sit here and say that I don't lose perspective every once in awhile), it seems a little shortsighted. Yes, pro wrestling companies need to be proactive in building new stars, but when you have a guy who just hit the main event, when is it that he has to start making new wrestlers stars, and how often does he need to do it?
That brings us to "Public Enemy #1", Triple H.
By the time SummerSlam had rolled around, it was a year or so since his official elevation so to speak. However, you could argue that he really wasn't cemented as a main eventer until the Royal Rumble and No Way Out, when he and Mick Foley (as Cactus Jack) tore the house down in two consecutive title matches, the latter being a Hell in a Cell. There's no doubt that he was entrenched as a main eventer by SummerSlam, but at the same time, he really was only cemented for eight months as a top guy. For Trips to start hearing the catcalls that he was a diabolical scoundrel after less than a year of really coming into his own as a main eventer in retrospect, when guys like Steve Austin and the Undertaker, just to name two, had years on top before the bloom came off their rose and they were called upon to put people over (and even then, you could argue that Austin never really did that anyway) in order to let them join the main event pantheon, seemed really premature.
I think the perfect example here is Bret Hart. While he went into WrestleMania IX as the WWF Champion, I think we can all agree he really wasn't "made" until a year later, when he finally felled the sumo warrior Yokozuna and got his first real (and one could argue only) WrestleMania moment. He was on top really for two years, I'd say, before he was called to the carpet to put over Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania XII. In that time of course, he didn't win every match, but at the same time, the people he put over in high profile matches at the time - Bob Backlund and Jerry Lawler - were established in their own ways. I'm sure if the Internet were around as prominently in 1995 as it is today, there'd have been people moaning that Hart didn't put over Jean-Pierre Lafitte or his brother Owen.
However, when he put Michaels over at WrestleMania XII, it ostensibly made him. The same could be said for his role in playing the foil for Steve Austin the next year. Even though Hart won that "I Quit" match, Austin came out of it looking like a million bucks, and Hart changed roles in order to further enhance the budding star of the man who'd become Stone Cold.
Of course, knowing what know now, it did take Triple H a lot longer to put someone not on his level over in a meaningful way (Chris Benoit at WrestleMania XX and then Batista the next year). And yeah, Trips did weasel his way out of putting over a lot of guys who could have used the bump, from Kane all the way up to Goldberg (whom you could argue didn't need the bump to be considered a main eventer, but at the same time, the iron was hot at SummerSlam in 2003). But that's where the question comes in... how long should a guy be continually put over before he starts returning the favor?
Whether you think it should have been Kane at the end of that horrible Katie Vick angle, Rob Van Dam, Booker T after the horrible racism angle or anyone else in the stretch between his comeback in 2002 until WM XX, can we all agree that maybe our angry mob was unjustified in 2000?
Then again, the reason why I rejected Triple H, at least at first, wasn't because of any political machinations. Seriously, I didn't really become "aware" of the backstage stuff until around early 2000, and by that time, I was already sick of Triple H. When he turned heel, he turned boring to me. The 20 minute promos to start RAW grated on me. He didn't have good matches with anyone not named The Rock, Undertaker or Mick Foley. So yeah, the political stuff was a great cover for the wholly subjective reasoning that we just didn't like the guy.
So, we now flash back to SummerSlam 2000, which for me is when the Triple H backlash kicked into high gear, ESPECIALLY since his relationship with Stephanie was being reported as more real than they were letting on on screen. Especially given that Angle at the time was a rookie himself, would you really blame WWF for putting a commodity they were trying to build at the time at risk for the benefit of a guy who wasn't even a year into his tenure on the main roster? Looking back at it, I'm not really sure I can.
If anything, I'd blame the braintrust in 2000 for booking the wrong angle. Yes, the love triangle was a good build, but they didn't pay it off correctly for various reasons. They would have been better served focusing Angle directly on The Rock, especially since the endgame was going to be Angle upending Rocky for the title anyway. Then, maybe you have Triple H continue his feud with Undertaker or Kane. Maybe he tangles with Rikishi or some other act that didn't have a whole lot of upward mobility. I don't know.
But what I do know is that a lot of the rage directed at Triple H at that time period might not have been justified. Granted, I'm still not happy at the way he refused to share the spotlight in 2002-04, and maybe he spent too much time as a Hulk Hogan when he was meant to be a Bret Hart all along. However, maybe we all got off on the wrong foot when it came to judging him outside the confines of whether we liked him or not.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Your Favorite Wrestlers Ever: Trey Irby
Now that my own favorites list is out of the way, I posed the question to some of my colleagues in the fan/writer community. Who are your favorite five wrestlers?
This special weekend entry comes to us from Trey Irby of the Wrestling Theory blog. He's on the younger side, his point of view comes from a later time. However, he's a really good writer and has great perspective. Here's his list.
1. Steve Austin - But of course, Austin is the touchstone. I don't want to discuss his personal life (though, ironically, his ex-wife Debra, of marrying Mongo and unfortunate abuse fame, lives currently in my hometown of Tuscaloosa). And honestly, I don't think I turned on him the way I turned on so many others simply because the situation being so long after my pure adoration went away but being so long before I realized the horrors of domestic violence. In a weird way, Stone Cold was like the redneck dad of the south. While I felt my dad and I were such polar opposites (me as overweight nerd vs. him as drug-addled biker), I still wanted adoration. Stone Cold was Dad as a character, but one who didn't take shit and kicked ass. I never got that sense of relating to my dad, but if I had, I would have wanted him to be Austin and to stop every threat that was in my way. But maybe it was kind of perverse to think of him in a domestic fantasy situation knowing what we've known about him for years. Still, Austin bloomed my love of wrestling, his promos were as emotionally responsive as could be, and he really holds that favoritism in my mind.
2. CM Punk - I don't care if this is early. If Rock got me to listen to his words, CM Punk got me to buy into them in a literal and figurative way. Money in the Bank 2011 was my first social pay-per-view experience (as well as the first purchased one I've ever seen live) and I felt that I had to give money to that effort. Punk's words are things I'm sure will get decried as "taking the words from the internet fans' mouths" but I wouldn't listen to Joe Q. Fan tell me that WWE has problems. Hell, I get tired of it when "journalists" in the business use their platform to compare EVERY SINGLE RAW to an event from the past that proved WWE "don't know what they're doing." But CM Punk saying those words changes things. Punk evokes a personality that we all want to be, and yet one that's shockingly normal. Whenever Punk sounds jaded, he admits that he is jaded then makes an aside that completely slays you. Punk picks at the things that every wrestler alive perceive as normal but he realizes the mainstream would find completely odd. And as he said, he's been the best total package in the business for years, and one that I totally believe in. I'll even buy that shirt when money comes in.
3. The Rock - If you smell and whatnot. The Rock was such a cool character that it's perfectly fine that his entire schtick was dick and vagina and ass jokes. That's the beauty of the Rock character, he always brought some sense of brilliant captivation. I remember showing his comeback promo to class (while doing a presentation on pro wrestling, go figure) and in the midst of the catchphrases (which EVERYONE IN THE CLASSROOM WAS COMPLETELY FAMILIAR WITH), Rock spoke in this eulogizing style. His brow-beating of John Cena almost became religious, and later even invoked religion as its target interest. Whether Rock intended it or not, he was playing up traditional metaphor to such a captivating extent that it was hard to not feel excited. Then Rock never showed up except via satellite and that was that, but Rock instantly proved time
and time again that it really is the promo that is as much the heart, soul, and interpretation of the business as the bumps themselves.
4. Chris Jericho - I don't remember if I watched the Jericho debut on WWF television when it first happened or not, since my wrestling memory is oddly like the memory of a concussed man. I just don't seem to have it, excepting Wrestlemania 2000, which might not be the best thing to remember. But man, doesn't it seem like something that would? I loved Jericho in WCW, even though I have no recollection of anyone in the cruiserweight division not named Guerrero and Malenko and probably just wanted to watch Goldberg (an honest number 6 on my list for kid me alone). And when he came to WWF, I sort of followed. Obviously, Jericho's second book gives a story about why it wasn't smooth sailing during his first stint and some of his best promo work kind of has to be forced through the non-PC nostalgia filter. But that second stint, god. Jericho really took his concept of an Anton Chigurh monotone bad guy and made it brilliant, as well executed as it could be. The Jericho/Michaels story was the saving grace of an era that kind of rushed through story to story, with a coup de grace being one of my personal favorite
matches at No Mercy 2008. And for that alone, it got me loving Jericho.
5. Chris Benoit - This is going to be controversial especially after posting a work about how I wouldn't pay tribute to Benoit. But truth is, in a kind of sad way, Chris Benoit got me back into wrestling. I barely watched the programming despite wasting away my sad high school years on the internet, discovering concepts like satire, oh, and porn. And it was somewhere around the infamous 2007 Draft Raw where Benoit went to ECW (after losing to Bobby Lashley in a great TV match) and I was excited. I knew that some good wrestling was to come on ECW and I always wanted to see where he went from there. Then we know what happened, and I realize how much taint could be over his matches. But I've looked back and I maybe just don't have the part in me to realize what is cringeworthy, but there's still a sense of extremely solid work to what he did. I was never a big "technical wrestling" guy, but Benoit always had this way of using the style he was given to tell a great, physical battle. A shame he never was able to fight off the mental battle.
This special weekend entry comes to us from Trey Irby of the Wrestling Theory blog. He's on the younger side, his point of view comes from a later time. However, he's a really good writer and has great perspective. Here's his list.
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| Trey's #1 and #3 Photo Credit: WWE.com |
2. CM Punk - I don't care if this is early. If Rock got me to listen to his words, CM Punk got me to buy into them in a literal and figurative way. Money in the Bank 2011 was my first social pay-per-view experience (as well as the first purchased one I've ever seen live) and I felt that I had to give money to that effort. Punk's words are things I'm sure will get decried as "taking the words from the internet fans' mouths" but I wouldn't listen to Joe Q. Fan tell me that WWE has problems. Hell, I get tired of it when "journalists" in the business use their platform to compare EVERY SINGLE RAW to an event from the past that proved WWE "don't know what they're doing." But CM Punk saying those words changes things. Punk evokes a personality that we all want to be, and yet one that's shockingly normal. Whenever Punk sounds jaded, he admits that he is jaded then makes an aside that completely slays you. Punk picks at the things that every wrestler alive perceive as normal but he realizes the mainstream would find completely odd. And as he said, he's been the best total package in the business for years, and one that I totally believe in. I'll even buy that shirt when money comes in.
3. The Rock - If you smell and whatnot. The Rock was such a cool character that it's perfectly fine that his entire schtick was dick and vagina and ass jokes. That's the beauty of the Rock character, he always brought some sense of brilliant captivation. I remember showing his comeback promo to class (while doing a presentation on pro wrestling, go figure) and in the midst of the catchphrases (which EVERYONE IN THE CLASSROOM WAS COMPLETELY FAMILIAR WITH), Rock spoke in this eulogizing style. His brow-beating of John Cena almost became religious, and later even invoked religion as its target interest. Whether Rock intended it or not, he was playing up traditional metaphor to such a captivating extent that it was hard to not feel excited. Then Rock never showed up except via satellite and that was that, but Rock instantly proved time
and time again that it really is the promo that is as much the heart, soul, and interpretation of the business as the bumps themselves.
4. Chris Jericho - I don't remember if I watched the Jericho debut on WWF television when it first happened or not, since my wrestling memory is oddly like the memory of a concussed man. I just don't seem to have it, excepting Wrestlemania 2000, which might not be the best thing to remember. But man, doesn't it seem like something that would? I loved Jericho in WCW, even though I have no recollection of anyone in the cruiserweight division not named Guerrero and Malenko and probably just wanted to watch Goldberg (an honest number 6 on my list for kid me alone). And when he came to WWF, I sort of followed. Obviously, Jericho's second book gives a story about why it wasn't smooth sailing during his first stint and some of his best promo work kind of has to be forced through the non-PC nostalgia filter. But that second stint, god. Jericho really took his concept of an Anton Chigurh monotone bad guy and made it brilliant, as well executed as it could be. The Jericho/Michaels story was the saving grace of an era that kind of rushed through story to story, with a coup de grace being one of my personal favorite
matches at No Mercy 2008. And for that alone, it got me loving Jericho.
5. Chris Benoit - This is going to be controversial especially after posting a work about how I wouldn't pay tribute to Benoit. But truth is, in a kind of sad way, Chris Benoit got me back into wrestling. I barely watched the programming despite wasting away my sad high school years on the internet, discovering concepts like satire, oh, and porn. And it was somewhere around the infamous 2007 Draft Raw where Benoit went to ECW (after losing to Bobby Lashley in a great TV match) and I was excited. I knew that some good wrestling was to come on ECW and I always wanted to see where he went from there. Then we know what happened, and I realize how much taint could be over his matches. But I've looked back and I maybe just don't have the part in me to realize what is cringeworthy, but there's still a sense of extremely solid work to what he did. I was never a big "technical wrestling" guy, but Benoit always had this way of using the style he was given to tell a great, physical battle. A shame he never was able to fight off the mental battle.
Friday, August 5, 2011
Your Favorite Wrestlers: UConn Gary
Now that my own favorites list is out of the way, I posed the question to some of my colleagues in the fan/writer community. Who are your favorite five wrestlers?
Today's list comes from TWB superfan and Twitter user UConn Gary, a reader of the blog and also a fan of With Leather, as I've seen him comment there. It's a really good list too, in ascending order.
All these guys are on my list for the work they did in WWF/E. I was never into Indy wrestling, and I didn't really watch WCW during the Monday Night Wars. My top five wrestlers of all time will probably not be smark approved. I'm a child of the '80s and '90s, and the 1-2-3 Kid beating Razor Ramon had a bigger effect on me than most things. Then again so did Henry Rowengartner. 1-2-3 Kid gets an honorable mention on my list, as does Sunny, who helped me through puberty. To the top 5...
5. Randy “Macho Man” Savage – Since I was never really big into Hulk Hogan, I naturally gravitated towards the Macho Man. Maybe it was my love for Slim Jims, or because his voice was easy to ape, but Randy Savage was one of the most entertaining guys in the WWF pre-Attitude Era for my money. The moment that most sticks out in my mind with Savage was his feud with Jake Roberts when he was bitten by Damien. Scary stuff for an 8-year-old. His wrestling ability wasn't what attracted me to the Macho Man as a young child, but watching some of his matches again show how great a worker he truly was. I was only three for his nearly flawless Wrestlemania III match with Ricky Steamboat but any time I re-watch it, I'm amazed at how brilliantly it was worked.
4. Mr. Perfect – It was all about the entrance and the sport vignettes - both awesome and obviously perfect. He's probably the first heel that I started cheering for. His commentary was amazing, his management of Ric Flair was a fitting use of him while injured, and his in ring skills were second to none. He should have been WWF Champion, and if not for the Million Dollar Man, he'd be able to lay claim to best heel never to wear the gold. The match with Bret Hart for the Intercontinental Championship was my favorite Mr. Perfect moment.
3. Chris Jericho – We might be sensing a trend here. Cocky heels are my favorite. That's why I've been so enamored with C.M. Punk and The Miz lately. Jericho, for me, redefined the “cool heel”. I didn't really know him from WCW, but watching some of his work on YouTube after the fact (The Man of 1004 Holds, anything with Ralphus) impressed me even more. His WWF introduction countdown and first promo versus The Rock was great, but the recent feud with Shawn Michaels was my favorite Jericho work of all time.
2. Owen Hart – Owen was one of my favorites from the time I first saw him teaming with Koko B. Ware in High Energy. From there, Owen evolved into one of the best underdog heels ever feuding with his brother. His character resonated with me, probably because I never really liked Bret either! He could easily be the greatest tag-team wrestler of all time. His work with Koko, Yoko, the Anvil, British Bulldog and Double J were all outstanding. His tragic death really shook me. I was in my parents basement (har, har) listening to the Pay-Per-View on a scrambled channel. It felt like someone I knew had died that day, maybe hearing the events happen live, then seeing the tribute show the next day on Raw had something to do with it, but a celebrity's death hasn't touched me in that way before or since. RIP Owen.
1. The Rock – I was firmly in The Rocks camp in the late 90s and early 00s. I stopped watching WWF/E around 2001 and didn't get back into until 2006ish, so I missed the drama of The Rock leaving for Hollywood, so I don't have the bitter taste in my mouth that many other wrestling fans have with him. I never really liked Steve Austin (another trend, I always shied away from the WWF/E's top draw) and since he and The Rock feuded for quite a while, I was always pulling form the Brahma Bull. Some of my favorite Rock moments are his work with Mick Foley, as a foe and as teammate. I liked the Rock in the Nation of Domination and in the Corporation. I followed the Rock where ever he went, I had the t-shirt (only wrestling t-shirt I ever owned) read his biography in one night the day it came out, and spouted out his catchphrases at the TV with great vigor. I was upset (still am) that I can't raise an eyebrow, and would mark out anytime his music hit. My favorite moment of The Rock was his I Quit Match with Mankind at the 1999 Royal Rumble, poor Mick must still be feeling some of those chair shots.
Today's list comes from TWB superfan and Twitter user UConn Gary, a reader of the blog and also a fan of With Leather, as I've seen him comment there. It's a really good list too, in ascending order.
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| The Great #1 Photo Credit: WWE.com |
5. Randy “Macho Man” Savage – Since I was never really big into Hulk Hogan, I naturally gravitated towards the Macho Man. Maybe it was my love for Slim Jims, or because his voice was easy to ape, but Randy Savage was one of the most entertaining guys in the WWF pre-Attitude Era for my money. The moment that most sticks out in my mind with Savage was his feud with Jake Roberts when he was bitten by Damien. Scary stuff for an 8-year-old. His wrestling ability wasn't what attracted me to the Macho Man as a young child, but watching some of his matches again show how great a worker he truly was. I was only three for his nearly flawless Wrestlemania III match with Ricky Steamboat but any time I re-watch it, I'm amazed at how brilliantly it was worked.
4. Mr. Perfect – It was all about the entrance and the sport vignettes - both awesome and obviously perfect. He's probably the first heel that I started cheering for. His commentary was amazing, his management of Ric Flair was a fitting use of him while injured, and his in ring skills were second to none. He should have been WWF Champion, and if not for the Million Dollar Man, he'd be able to lay claim to best heel never to wear the gold. The match with Bret Hart for the Intercontinental Championship was my favorite Mr. Perfect moment.
3. Chris Jericho – We might be sensing a trend here. Cocky heels are my favorite. That's why I've been so enamored with C.M. Punk and The Miz lately. Jericho, for me, redefined the “cool heel”. I didn't really know him from WCW, but watching some of his work on YouTube after the fact (The Man of 1004 Holds, anything with Ralphus) impressed me even more. His WWF introduction countdown and first promo versus The Rock was great, but the recent feud with Shawn Michaels was my favorite Jericho work of all time.
2. Owen Hart – Owen was one of my favorites from the time I first saw him teaming with Koko B. Ware in High Energy. From there, Owen evolved into one of the best underdog heels ever feuding with his brother. His character resonated with me, probably because I never really liked Bret either! He could easily be the greatest tag-team wrestler of all time. His work with Koko, Yoko, the Anvil, British Bulldog and Double J were all outstanding. His tragic death really shook me. I was in my parents basement (har, har) listening to the Pay-Per-View on a scrambled channel. It felt like someone I knew had died that day, maybe hearing the events happen live, then seeing the tribute show the next day on Raw had something to do with it, but a celebrity's death hasn't touched me in that way before or since. RIP Owen.
1. The Rock – I was firmly in The Rocks camp in the late 90s and early 00s. I stopped watching WWF/E around 2001 and didn't get back into until 2006ish, so I missed the drama of The Rock leaving for Hollywood, so I don't have the bitter taste in my mouth that many other wrestling fans have with him. I never really liked Steve Austin (another trend, I always shied away from the WWF/E's top draw) and since he and The Rock feuded for quite a while, I was always pulling form the Brahma Bull. Some of my favorite Rock moments are his work with Mick Foley, as a foe and as teammate. I liked the Rock in the Nation of Domination and in the Corporation. I followed the Rock where ever he went, I had the t-shirt (only wrestling t-shirt I ever owned) read his biography in one night the day it came out, and spouted out his catchphrases at the TV with great vigor. I was upset (still am) that I can't raise an eyebrow, and would mark out anytime his music hit. My favorite moment of The Rock was his I Quit Match with Mankind at the 1999 Royal Rumble, poor Mick must still be feeling some of those chair shots.
The One Where Jason Doesn't Know I'm Quoting Zack Ryder
Wrestlespective Radio: SummerSlam 2001's Main Event
Jason Mann and I discuss SummerSlam 2001's final match in his series of podcasts dedicated to the main events of each of WWE's summer classic events. The match is The Rock vs. Booker T for the WCW World Championship... yep, the WCW World Championship. Wrestling sure was wacky in 2001. Anyway, we go over Booker T's wild eyes and facial expressions, the efficacy of Shane McMahon as a manager, the Invasion and a whole bunch of other things. Come for the match discussion, stay for Jason awkwardly not knowing that I'm trying to riff off the end of Zack Ryder's Z! True Long Island Stories with my outro. Good times!
Jason Mann and I discuss SummerSlam 2001's final match in his series of podcasts dedicated to the main events of each of WWE's summer classic events. The match is The Rock vs. Booker T for the WCW World Championship... yep, the WCW World Championship. Wrestling sure was wacky in 2001. Anyway, we go over Booker T's wild eyes and facial expressions, the efficacy of Shane McMahon as a manager, the Invasion and a whole bunch of other things. Come for the match discussion, stay for Jason awkwardly not knowing that I'm trying to riff off the end of Zack Ryder's Z! True Long Island Stories with my outro. Good times!
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Your Favorite Wrestlers Ever: Don Owens
Now that my own favorites list is out of the way, I posed the question to some of my colleagues in the fan/writer community. Who are your favorite five wrestlers?
Today's list comes from Don Owens of the Future Endeavors podcast. He's a fun guy, and I enjoy him both on Twitter and when he guests on Jason Mann's podcast after WWE PPVs. Here is his list, back do descending order:
1. Shawn Michaels - THE Greatest of All Time! There is no doubt that HBK is #1. This is the man that has blown away audiences for decades. His list of accolades is long - the 1st Grand Slam Champion, Tag Titles, IC Title, European Title, World Title, WWE Title, 1st Hell In A Cell Match, Elimination Chamber match, 2 Royal Rumble wins, revolutionized the ladder match, best Iron man match, best WrestleMania match. The list goes on and on. No one made their oponent look as good as Shawn Michaels did. The greatest to ever do it, NO DOUBT!
2. Triple H - The King Of Kings is easily one of the greatest of all time, a true student of the game. I was a major fan of his since the day I saw his debut on WWF Superstars and saw him hit the move known as the pedigree for the 1st time. I said, "That Hunter Hearst Helmsley is gonna be a big star!" and boy was I correct.
His transition into Triple H was amazing - so many good feuds and another Grand Slam Champion. Triple H has done it all. He was a part of D-Generation X, then lead the group when HBK retired, went on to form and lead Evolution. He was the 1st WWE World Heavyweight Champion. As with HBK, Triple H could make a match work with anyone, a true in ring general. In the last year he has become more of an office hand backstage, but when the time calls for it as we saw at Wrestlemania 27 with his amazing match with Undertaker, he can still hang with the best of them.
3. Kevin Nash (Diesel) - My favorite big man ever. The day Diesel made his debut as HBK's bodyguard I knew I saw a star in the making. Seeing in that 1st year in the WWF, Diesel won the Intercontinental Championship, Tag Titles and the WWF Championship in a record 8 seconds from Bob Backlund to become a Triple Crown winner, and he went on to be WWE champ for almost a full year. Big Daddy Cool was the Man! He dominated in Rumbles, had a great feud with HBK, had the best WrestleMania match with the Undertaker (at the time) and had the match of his carreer with HBK in his last WWF match before going to WCW at In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies. Diesel went to WCW and went by his real name, Kevin Nash. He was the single reason why I started watching WCW, and then we saw the birth of the nWo, one of the greatest factions and most influental groups in all of sports entertainment. Nash went on to win more titles and had a great run in WCW.
After the company went out of business Nash did some movies and returned to wrestling and the WWE with Hulk Hogan and Scott Hall to debut the WWE version of the nWo. After some ups and downs in WWE, Nash left again and had a good run in TNA. At the 2011 Royal Rumble, Diesel returned and a surprise entrant. One of the greatest moments for me as a wrestling fan. Kevin "Diesel" Nash is now back as part of the WWE Family. What his future hold no one knows, But for me, he will go down as one of the best.
4. The Rock - Not much to say here for the Most Electrying Man in Sports, wait I mean ALL of Entertainment. Rock is easily the most entertaining man ever on the mic, and that definately translated into the ring. A superstar who has done it all, left WWE to become a true Hollywood actor and successfully made the transition better then anyone that tried before him. Rock's charisma made him a huge bankable star, and just when we thought we would never see him back in a WWE ring, 7 years later, he returned! He electrified audiences again like he never left, instantly he went from Dwayne back to The Rock. He went on to host WrestleMania 27, and will lace up the boots once again to take on John Cena at WrestleMania 28. FINALLY!!!! The Rock is back and is no doubt in my top 5 of all time.
5. Rob Van Dam - I have lost a lot of respect for RVD since he joined TNA, but I cant let that take away my love for him the rest of his career. RVD amazed me in ECW and instantly became one of my favorites to watch. The guy I always hoped would make it to WWE one day. Then that day finally happened. He came over after the buy out of WCW and was a part of The Alliance. His first ppv match in WWE against Jeff Hardy for the Hardcore Championship at the Invasion PPV was a classic. I was hooked and wanted more. For years I got to witness amazing matches with RVD and many other great opponents. He had great runs as Tag and IC Champion, but one belt always eluded him, the WWE title. At WrestleMania, RVD won the MITB briefcase and cashed in against John Cena at One Night Stand to become WWE Champion finally! Not only was he the WWE Champion, he was also awarded the ECW Championship for relaunch of that brand. RVD had made history. Unfortunately some bad things happened shortly after his win that led to him losing the WWE and ECW Titles back-to-back in the same week. RVD retired soon later after being frustrated with the direction of the new ECW. He made a couple surprise appearances that made me totally mark out for a full-time return. Unfortunately that never happened in WWE as he decided to join TNA. Although I'm not happy with him there, I am proud that he became TNA World Champion and had a great run. He definately deserves it. The Whole F'n Show!
Today's list comes from Don Owens of the Future Endeavors podcast. He's a fun guy, and I enjoy him both on Twitter and when he guests on Jason Mann's podcast after WWE PPVs. Here is his list, back do descending order:
1. Shawn Michaels - THE Greatest of All Time! There is no doubt that HBK is #1. This is the man that has blown away audiences for decades. His list of accolades is long - the 1st Grand Slam Champion, Tag Titles, IC Title, European Title, World Title, WWE Title, 1st Hell In A Cell Match, Elimination Chamber match, 2 Royal Rumble wins, revolutionized the ladder match, best Iron man match, best WrestleMania match. The list goes on and on. No one made their oponent look as good as Shawn Michaels did. The greatest to ever do it, NO DOUBT!
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| Don's top two Photo Credit: WWE.com |
2. Triple H - The King Of Kings is easily one of the greatest of all time, a true student of the game. I was a major fan of his since the day I saw his debut on WWF Superstars and saw him hit the move known as the pedigree for the 1st time. I said, "That Hunter Hearst Helmsley is gonna be a big star!" and boy was I correct.
His transition into Triple H was amazing - so many good feuds and another Grand Slam Champion. Triple H has done it all. He was a part of D-Generation X, then lead the group when HBK retired, went on to form and lead Evolution. He was the 1st WWE World Heavyweight Champion. As with HBK, Triple H could make a match work with anyone, a true in ring general. In the last year he has become more of an office hand backstage, but when the time calls for it as we saw at Wrestlemania 27 with his amazing match with Undertaker, he can still hang with the best of them.
3. Kevin Nash (Diesel) - My favorite big man ever. The day Diesel made his debut as HBK's bodyguard I knew I saw a star in the making. Seeing in that 1st year in the WWF, Diesel won the Intercontinental Championship, Tag Titles and the WWF Championship in a record 8 seconds from Bob Backlund to become a Triple Crown winner, and he went on to be WWE champ for almost a full year. Big Daddy Cool was the Man! He dominated in Rumbles, had a great feud with HBK, had the best WrestleMania match with the Undertaker (at the time) and had the match of his carreer with HBK in his last WWF match before going to WCW at In Your House: Good Friends, Better Enemies. Diesel went to WCW and went by his real name, Kevin Nash. He was the single reason why I started watching WCW, and then we saw the birth of the nWo, one of the greatest factions and most influental groups in all of sports entertainment. Nash went on to win more titles and had a great run in WCW.
After the company went out of business Nash did some movies and returned to wrestling and the WWE with Hulk Hogan and Scott Hall to debut the WWE version of the nWo. After some ups and downs in WWE, Nash left again and had a good run in TNA. At the 2011 Royal Rumble, Diesel returned and a surprise entrant. One of the greatest moments for me as a wrestling fan. Kevin "Diesel" Nash is now back as part of the WWE Family. What his future hold no one knows, But for me, he will go down as one of the best.
4. The Rock - Not much to say here for the Most Electrying Man in Sports, wait I mean ALL of Entertainment. Rock is easily the most entertaining man ever on the mic, and that definately translated into the ring. A superstar who has done it all, left WWE to become a true Hollywood actor and successfully made the transition better then anyone that tried before him. Rock's charisma made him a huge bankable star, and just when we thought we would never see him back in a WWE ring, 7 years later, he returned! He electrified audiences again like he never left, instantly he went from Dwayne back to The Rock. He went on to host WrestleMania 27, and will lace up the boots once again to take on John Cena at WrestleMania 28. FINALLY!!!! The Rock is back and is no doubt in my top 5 of all time.
5. Rob Van Dam - I have lost a lot of respect for RVD since he joined TNA, but I cant let that take away my love for him the rest of his career. RVD amazed me in ECW and instantly became one of my favorites to watch. The guy I always hoped would make it to WWE one day. Then that day finally happened. He came over after the buy out of WCW and was a part of The Alliance. His first ppv match in WWE against Jeff Hardy for the Hardcore Championship at the Invasion PPV was a classic. I was hooked and wanted more. For years I got to witness amazing matches with RVD and many other great opponents. He had great runs as Tag and IC Champion, but one belt always eluded him, the WWE title. At WrestleMania, RVD won the MITB briefcase and cashed in against John Cena at One Night Stand to become WWE Champion finally! Not only was he the WWE Champion, he was also awarded the ECW Championship for relaunch of that brand. RVD had made history. Unfortunately some bad things happened shortly after his win that led to him losing the WWE and ECW Titles back-to-back in the same week. RVD retired soon later after being frustrated with the direction of the new ECW. He made a couple surprise appearances that made me totally mark out for a full-time return. Unfortunately that never happened in WWE as he decided to join TNA. Although I'm not happy with him there, I am proud that he became TNA World Champion and had a great run. He definately deserves it. The Whole F'n Show!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
My Favorite Wrestlers Ever: #3
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| Photo Credit: WWE.com |
The Rock
Three Favorite Matches: vs. Steve Austin at WrestleMania X-7, vs. Chris Jericho at
Three Favorite Moments: Verbally sparring with Chris Jericho upon the latter's debut, This Is Your Life with Mick Foley, The promo post Royal Rumble 2000 where he mocked Big Show for the first time
The Rock spent an entire career proving people wrong. People thought he couldn't succeed after tanking as the "blue chipper". They were wrong. People said he couldn't wrestle. By 2000, he'd improved to the point where he was arguably the best worker in the company. People thought he'd never be a movie star. Well, to our chagrin, he became one. People never thought he'd come back. Well, he did. Sure, his definition of "never leaving" again may be different than some fans', but for me, I don't care if he appears once a year or once a show.
I've always been entranced by Rocky though, so maybe I'm biased. No shit I'm biased, but if being a fan of the most naturally charismatic man ever to step into a wrestling ring is wrong, then I don't ever wanna be right. Seriously, I always wondered back in the day when I'd go into those AOL chat rooms (I was in high school/college, shut up) and people would be bashing Rocky and pumping up guys like, ugh, Triple H. I mean, what, don't you like witty guys who say funny shit? Oh that's right, he couldn't "work" because he only did like three moves. Wrestling hipsterdom, smh. And I bet half of those people who hated on Rock were excited as shit to see him back this year. Maybe more or less, I don't know.
But what I do know is that the guy was seriously, and still is actually, a dynamo with a microphone in his hand. We already knew that though. That's like watching Aaron Rodgers play football and remark that he's really good at throwing the ball. Well no shit. What really sealed the deal for me was his mastery at actually wrestling. There was a time when he was middle of the pack at best, although his "terribleness" at wrestling was vastly overstated by smark-ass teenagers who think that throwing moves is the only way to have a good match. Go back and look at some of his classic matches against Steve Austin or Triple H or Mick Foley or later on, when he really came into his own against guys like Kurt Angle and Brock Lesnar. He held his own end of the bargain easily.
I think the fact that he was so easily imitable for me, and yet hard to imitate at the same time, made him one of my favorites. It's paradoxical to say something like that. I guess what I mean to say is that I always liked trying to imitate Rocky, but I could never really get him down right. I guess that's his allure... we all wanted to be like him, but there is only one Great One, only one Rock.
And I for one can't wait to see him back in a WWE ring, April 1, 2012.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
The Rock Replies to Cena's Incendiary House Show Promo from Australia
So, if you haven't heard about or even seen the video of the promo John Cena cut at the house show in Australia running down The Rock, well, yeah, he cut a promo on The Rock at a house show in Australia. Apparently, Rock caught wind of it, and he was pissed. Here's his reply:
To me, all of this plays out as some high-budget e-fed match where one guy promos and the other guy replies. I mean, if you listen to Rocky's promo, he even has pertinent footage of Cena's rant spliced in. It's amazing. Any way, I thought Rocky's delivery here was spot on, but I thought he also came off as puerile and glib in some spots. It was mostly good though. Then again, I like most Rock promos.
The big news though is that he's returning in the fall, or at least he wants to. Maybe he wrestles at Survivor Series? Maybe he just comes back and cuts more promos? Maybe he just throws Rock Bottoms around? Who knows. But when he comes back, it'll be good.
To me, all of this plays out as some high-budget e-fed match where one guy promos and the other guy replies. I mean, if you listen to Rocky's promo, he even has pertinent footage of Cena's rant spliced in. It's amazing. Any way, I thought Rocky's delivery here was spot on, but I thought he also came off as puerile and glib in some spots. It was mostly good though. Then again, I like most Rock promos.
The big news though is that he's returning in the fall, or at least he wants to. Maybe he wrestles at Survivor Series? Maybe he just comes back and cuts more promos? Maybe he just throws Rock Bottoms around? Who knows. But when he comes back, it'll be good.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
One Last Dream Match: John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio
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| Cena's last dream match is against... Rey? Photo Credit: WWE.com |
I have a feeling this match is just a distraction, but the idea of John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio is very intriguing to me.It's intriguing to me. As we'd find out later that night, the last time the two had faced off one-on-one was in 2003, before Cena turned face. The closest we've gotten since both guys hit the main event was last year at Viewer's Choice, when Rey was up for vote to face Cena in the main event. We all know how that turned out; CM Punk won the vote and he and his Straight Edge Society were offered up to slaughter for the Nexus' epic debut.
It's almost inarguable that these two guys are the biggest draws in WWE right now. Randy Orton may be anchoring Smackdown, but I still feel like he's a work in progress. Besides, we've seen Orton/Mysterio and Orton/Cena a whole lot. But Cena/Mysterio would be pretty magical, or at the very least fresh. I'd even say this is one of three dream matches left in WWE. One is Cena/Rock, and we're getting that at WrestleMania next year. The other is Cena/Undertaker, a match we'll probably never get because it's a WrestleMania-main event-caliber match, and next year will more than likely be Taker's last run.
The thing is, the window for Rey/Cena is closing as well. Rey is also not a spring chicken. Although he's not reached his 40th birthday yet, his knees are notoriously in bad shape to the point where if he retired next year, next month or next week, it wouldn't be surprising. They can't pull the trigger on it now because I feel like it's a WrestleMania main event, or at the very least something to headline SummerSlam. Cena's got a dream match in his sights, so he needs to stay occupied with temporary hurdles, be they del Rio, The Miz, Punk, Truth or even a returning Batista or Chris Jericho.
But if they do tangle? It would definitely be an intriguing match. Both guys are solid workers, although in different ways. Mysterio, although limited by his bad knees, is still a high-flyer and a hard bumper. Cena is a powerhouse whose big moves pop crowds. There's one more very interesting dynamic that would come into play here. Cena rarely ever works against guys who are smaller than, say, The Miz. WWE doesn't grow heels as small as Rey, and usually, if you're that small, you're typecast into a scrappy underdog role1. I'd be very keen on seeing how Cena plays the big bully role.
An even more intriguing scenario would be heel Rey taking on Cena. It might seem incomprehensible now, but one of the more popular fantasy booking has Rey turning heel after growing jealous of Sin Cara. Everyone would assume that if this wasn't a face/face match that Cena would be the heel, but unless someone comes along who usurps Cena in popularity, I don't see him ever changing alignments. Rey though? I feel like he gets taken for granted more than Cena does. That's a situation that's so new to me that I can barely begin to process it.
Still, it goes to prove that there are many different possibilities for this dream match if it ever happens. I hope it does, because it could be a really cool thing to watch. Even for a jaded fan trying to reclaim his past innocence (futilely maybe), it would be a dream match come true.
1 - It's a big reason why I think Austin Aries remains unsigned by WWE, not just because of his size, but because of a combination of his size and his natural heel proclivities.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Wade Keller Misses the Point of Twitter
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| Oh teh noes, Rock wuz insensitive! Photo Credit: WWE.com |
Wade Keller posted this news item on The Rock tweeting to CM Punk in response to his rant at the end of RAW. I think it's worth a FJM, hopefully, you will too.
"The Rock" Dwayne Johnson fired back at C.M. Punk's digs at him during Raw on Monday:
That would make sense, since Punk mentioned Rock in his promo and WWE wrestlers have used Twitter as a way of furthering angles.
"C.M. Punk: It's simple business - The Rock is in the main event at WrestleMania cause it draws more money in one night (than) you will in (a) lifetime."
It was a great tweet, although Rocky left himself wide open. At least that's what I thought when I read it. But not Wade...
Keller's Analysis: Whether Rock's ego was ruffled by Punk's harmless in-character heel comments or not, this doesn't make Rock look good.
Wait, what?
Why does a star of his level in movies and wrestling feel the need to fire back in a way that makes him seem thin-skinned?
Apparently, Keller missed the entire part of the Rock/Cena feud where they were sniping back and forth between accounts, and still are.
If he's just playing into a potential future storyline, it does make him sound a little petty to be saying he'll draw more in one night than Punk will in his entire lifetime.
Or he's just playing into a potential future storyline.
That's pretty harsh. If he's truly upset, get over it. Punk was a heel.
And Rock is a face replying to a heel.
Even though a certain portion of the fan base loved what Punk had to say, Rock shouldn't be cementing that he's one of the "ass-kissers."
Yeah, how dare he play into Punk's content!
A better Tweet from Rock, a more dignified response, would have been: "Punk showed me something Monday. He talks a big game. The Rock likes that. Maybe some day he'll be a big enough star to main event WrestleMania against The Great One. I think fans might like to see that. It's not about kissing ass backstage, it's about kicking ass inside the ring. The Rock is sure he can kick Punk's from one end of that ring to the other."
Did Wade Keller just fantasy book a Tweet? Yeah, he just fantasy booked Twitter.1
Seriously, this if this is what passes for news reporting nowadays, I quit. Seriously, Twitter has been used to build angles, especially between Rocky and Cena. Keller doesn't get the point. Then again, I'm not all that surprised.
1 - Props to my blogging Brohei Baba, PizzaBodySlam, for that line from his Tumblr
Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!
Friday, June 24, 2011
The People's Log Flume
Dwayne Johnson on WhoSay
So, The Rock recently visited Disney and went on Splash Mountain. You know those pictures that they take of you going down roller coasters and log flumes and such? Yeah, the above is Rocky's picture. It's pretty much the most epic amusement park ride picture in the history of the medium.
You jabronis might get sick of the People's Champion from time to time, but fuck man, I can never get sick of The Rock being The Rock.
Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
The Inevitable Christian Heel Turn: DO NOT WANT
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| This feud was great the way it was Photo Credit: WWE.com |
One of the most refreshing things about watching Smackdown the last few weeks has been the main event scene. The main feud between Christian and Randy Orton has been different from most WWE main event tilts in that both guys remain babyfaces and have remained on the "good" side of the ledger at least through Over the Limit. I like it, and I hoped that it would've signaled somewhat of a paradigm shift in the Blue Brand's booking. However, there have been warning signs, classic WWF/E/pro wrestling logic warning signs that point to Christian not staying a "good guy" for much longer.
Even if the narrative from Michael Cole can be discounted because he was an überheel up until his apology and subsequent feud ending (we hope) with Jerry Lawler last night, usually, when an announcer plays up that someone is a loser or lost their best chance at something like a World Championship, it signals that the target is about to do something drastic about it. Couple that with Christian not blaming Orton for how he capitalized on getting his Championship opportunity or nor Teddy Long for making the match because it was his job, I'm beginning to sense that Christian's going to start blaming, yep, you guessed it, the fans for his failings, much like R-Truth and CM Punk and nearly every heel in WWE since Chris Jericho v. 2.0 started doing in 2008.
I don't need to tell you that I think it's a terrible idea if that's the road they're taking. It's not because Christian would make a terrible heel. Far from it, he was one of the best things about early Aughts WWE when he split from Edge and first developed the Captain Charisma character as a dickish and sarcastic villain. He's the rare guy who's supremely adroit playing either side of the alignment column. It has more to do with keeping things fresh, something the WWE has struggled mightily with. It's like there's a formula they use for every feud, and if they don't follow it to a tee, they panic and feel like Linus from Peanuts if his security blanket is somehow stripped from him.
A perfect recent example of this inability to break from the paradigm was in their handling of the issue between The Rock and John Cena. Up to and through WrestleMania, it was handled perfectly (if you discount their bungling of Miz's involvement, but that's a whole other blog). The Rock played to the fans that would cheer for him, and so did John Cena. Neither guy went full heel, but they didn't exactly go buddy-buddy with each other either. Then, the night after WrestleMania happened, and they botched the dynamic by trying to have Cena and Rock play up the mutual respect angle. It killed the crowd and ruined the unique vibe they had, and most importantly, it proved that the WWE was afraid to do anything that deviated from their SOP.
To me, if they turn Christian, it'll be the same deal. Both Orton and Christian have loud fanbases who cheer for them, even when they're pitted against each other. Orton's reactions are markedly louder, but let's not pretend that Christian only gets cheers from some nerdy subset that resides in the collective basement of a nebulous mother figure. This "Internet" crowd is larger than it was in 1999 and it's way vocal too. Catering to the fanbase means more than just catering to one specific group anymore. With the right creative direction, you can engage several different subsets of fans with a single feud and still have both competitors be over as babyfaces rather than having one be a stone cold face and the other be standard heel.
I think all the fans spoke out resoundingly before Christian and Orton were even thought about being paired together anyway. We want to cheer Christian. We want him as a feel-good story, not as some carbon copy of Chris Jericho. Furthermore, there's probably a whole ton of us out there that likes a good face/face feud to be sprinkled in with the good vs. evil dynamic we get all the time. Orton will have plenty of opportunities to go all SCRKO on guys like Mark Henry, Sheamus, Wade Barrett and the like. Plenty. It wouldn't hurt them to show a little depth of character once in awhile, especially when that depth of character was greatly appreciated in the last three weeks between Extreme Rules and Over the Limit.
The point is, Christian doesn't need to be a heel to be a compelling character, and the WWE needs to realize that as a top face, he works. Smackdown and the WWE in general is sorely lacking for compelling top stories, and turning Christian would only reinforce that notion, as he'd just become another RKO victim waiting to happen rather than an option for a viable, second-from-top feud that could keep interest and turn into what would certainly be a slam-bang PPV sub-main event.
Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!
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