From the A1 Message Boards: What I'd Do with Unlimited Money and Wrestling Desires

My top guy

Newish A1 user Rick Rude (great tribute handle, by the way), posted a thread asking what you'd do with unlimited funds re: building a wrestling promotion. Here's his original post:

Imagine a scenario where you have acquired a stupendous amount of money. You are set for life, as well as your children and grandchildren if you have any. You have so much money, in fact, that it's basically impossible for you to ever not have money again, even if you wasted ludicrous amounts on bad investments. I don't care if you won three state lotteries, or were discovered to be a long lost Walton love child, the money is yours to do what you want.

You decide that you might as well be a money mark since you love wrestling so much.

The WWE, as a public company, is out of bounds. Everything else is in play. What would you buy, or would you start up something new? Who would you hire for creative and for on-air talent? What would be your marketing plan? Where would you perform? What about a TV deal? Would you look to take down the WWE empire, or would you prefer to remain low key and simply recoup expenses?

And here is my reply:

I'd head up the booking team, because it's my fed, my vision. My booking team would probably consist of any combination of Brandon Stroud of With Leather, the Fair to Flair crew, Bill Dempsey, David Shoemaker (the Masked Man), jerseyboy (commenter) and/or Linus (Ingoldsby, A1 poster and TWB reader - because I'd have to consider European sensibilities if I wanted to have a following across the pond). Why people I know/writers? Again, something different. It's my money, I'll succeed or fail with the people I want to succeed and fail with.

My vision would be to combine old-school ideas and concepts with modern sport sensibility, bound together with a healthy sense of humor. Like Jamey "FATSEXY" Litton, no one from "the office" would make an appearance in storyline unless it's to introduce a new commissioner (no GMs, commissioners, because again, I'm old school) or some shit like that. In ring, I'd promote a safer style based on mat wrestling and storytelling. Big finishers are meant to be taken once every couple of months, not once every couple of spots in a match. I'd draw people in with strong characters and emphasis on unscripted but "guided" promos.

At first, I'd probably run February through November with a two month offseason that'd coincide with the holiday season/football playoffs. Give people some time to catch up with what they might have missed in DVDs during the two months we'd be off.

As for talent, again, since I'd want for guys to draw people in on a basis of a combination of character and sound fundamentals rather than ZOMG WERKRATE, I pick up guys who can cut promos or act out as great characters. So guys like Davey Richards who just like to kill and get killed in the ring to have the awesomest match ever? Get lost. But a guy like Colt Cabana, who has killer personality and a sound grasp on how to work a mat-based style? Welcome aboard. In fact, he's probably my top face. Austin Aries would be my top heel. He has a rep of being a ZOMG WERKRATE guy too, but he also is a great character and has worked a "sports entertainment" style in some matches to great effect. From there, I build outwards and pick up some established guys (AJ Styles, Beer Money - provided they don't balks at the idea to leave Impact - Jay Lethal, Mike Knox, Chris Masters, Kazarian, El Generico, Kevin Steen) and some under the radar guys (Kenn Doane, Lucky Cannon, Eddie Kingston, the RockNES Monsters, RD Evans, Brodie Lee). Throw in a choice veteran, say, Steve Corino or Tommy Dreamer, and then start developing stories.

I'd start slow, 10-15 shows a year, and then try to grow with television and such. Don't go all in early, don't expect to succeed and build on stories, three acts of varying development. Always have something really good happening at a given show. That's what I'd do.

Furthermore, I'd also put on an honest-to-God joshi division, really push tag teams as serious business and probably have an appearance by a WrestleCrap hall of famer every year or so, just to remind myself not to take myself too seriously.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

I Want Seth Mates to Book the Punk/Trips Storyline

Under Mates' plan, we'd see a lot more Big Sexy
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Seth Mates is a former WWE Creative Team member. He took to Twitter to criticize the main angle with CM Punk, Triple H, Kevin Nash and such as "messy", saying simplicity is the key. He then went into how he'd book the whole thing. It's really quite brilliant. Here are the links to his Tweets, and here's the whole thing transcribed:

Here's a thought on where I'd go with the story, if these are the pieces in place. Reveal Nash as the Raw GM and bring in HBK for SmackDown. Keep Stephanie as HHH ally. Then [d]o a seg w/HHH, Nash, Michaels, Steph in ring. HHH cuts promo about Shane leaving WWE, Linda running for Senate (ha!), Vince pushed out, then HHH says "and now plan comes to fruition. After years, I have what I need - the company is mine. And Stephanie - you're fired! Story is, HHH/Michaels/Nash been collaborating for years to screw McMahons & steal [the] company, strategically getting rid of 1 McMahon at a time, [l]eading up to HHH firing his own wife and taking full control with each of his buddies running one of the shows. They mess with Punk b/c he represents everything they hate -- and he becomes the white knight and savior of company.

Yeah, that may be fantasy booking, but it's good fantasy booking from a guy who used to be in the business. This wouldn't be the only satisfying conclusion to the story, but I think it'd be the best way to set up a complex authority figure structure. Granted, it would very much depend on the authority figures wrestling, and HBK could balk at that. That being said, he could easily be replaced by Sean Waltman, who proved at King of Trios he could still go.

I could also see where this is problematic as well, but it has promise. I really like the way he thinks, at least regarding this angle.

Some Real Fantasy Booking with CM Punk!

Punk, the conquering hero of SEVERAL realms!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So, CM Punk may be unemployed right now, but he's still defending the WWE Championship. Monday, he announced an impromptu title defense against a very formidable Japanese challenger:

On my couch. About to put the title on the line against Piston Honda.

Okay, Hiroshi Tanahashi or any other New Japan star it wasn't but hey, that Honda Rush has taken out many an unwitting fighter. Just ask Little Mac. Anyway, we haven't gotten any spoilers on whether that match was a success for Punk or not (WHERE ARE THE DIRTSHEET REPORTERS WHEN YOU FUCKING NEED THEM), but I can only assume it was a success since he was seen with the title later that evening at Wrigley Field.

This begs the question, what other places will Punk show up to defend the title? We all thought that it would be ROH or NJPW or some other indie or foreign fed, but now, with this first title defense out of the way, it's time to start lining up some of his next defenses. Unless he shows up next week to interrupt the Miz/Rey match, then I'm guessing he's out for awhile, and while he deserves a vacation, I'm not so sure he can stay still for that long of a time. So, in the spirit of that first defense, here's some fantasy booking in the truest sense of the word fantasy...

- First defense, Punk vs. Mario in a Mushroom Kingdom Madness match, which is like a Falls Count Anywhere match using warp pipes to go to the different areas. It's set up in a tag match between Punk and Mario against Bowser and Jimmy Jacobs, when Punk turns on the Italian plumber, disagreeing with his use of performance enhancing fungi. The match of course ends with Punk winning, hitting a Go to Sleep on Mario after distracting him by laying down some warp pipe on Peach.

- CM Punk vs. Tyrion Lannister. Not in a wrestling match, but in a contest to see who can slap the shit out of Joffrey the most.



That will never, ever get old.

- Harry Potter vs. Lord Voldemort. What does this have to do with Punk? Well, Harry's Petronus is Punk. The most powerful one there is, I might add.

- Punk vs. Chuck Norris in a battle to claim the outlandish meme. Punk quits, because he doesn't want to be associated with the lameness.

- Punk travels to the void to do battle with Randy Savage in a match that would make the Internet explode. Savage would obviously have the match won with the flying elbow, but as a courtesy to Punk, he gets himself disqualified because he has no need for mortal Championship belts in the afterlife. Plus, he prevented the fucking Rapture. That's all the recognition the Macho Man needs.

- Punk joins the cast of Next Food Network Star midseason. He wins the whole competition with his GTS Pizza, then has a three way with Rachael Ray and Giada de Laurentiis, using EVOO as the lubricant. Highest ratings in network history. Guy Fieri's head explodes, causing @DangerGuerrero to celebrate like the Rebel Alliance just blew up the Death Star outside of Endor.

- Punk visits the LOST island and wrestles the Smoke Monster to a time limit draw. Even fantasy characters from totally fictional TV shows have their political chicanery.

Yeah, so that's a lot of fantasy booking for one night. The possibilities are endless, almost infinite. There's just so much Punk can do before ending his vacation and coming back to claim his rightful throne as King BAMF of WWE.

NOTE: I was not on drugs during this post. I SWEAR.

Having It Both Ways: Ways Cena Can Lose the Title and Not Get Fired

Can their clash at Money in the Bank end with Punk victorious and Cena still employed?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The nadir for some of RAW on Monday was the end, where Vince McMahon laid down the stipulation for John Cena to be allowed to face CM Punk at Money in the Bank. If Cena allowed Punk to walk out of WWE with the Spinner Belt, he'd be fired. If it sounds familiar, well yeah, Cena had his job at stake in the Survivor Series main event, where if Wade Barrett didn't win the WWE Championship, he'd get shitcanned. Despite the fact that Randy Orton retained the title, Cena did not miss a single minute of run time. While I didn't have a problem with it at the time, in retrospect, it totally contributed to the total rushed feeling of the end of that angle.

So yeah, I can see where some skepticism would come in as to whether this is going to end up alright. I was caught up in the moment, so it didn't bother me then. It doesn't bother me now and won't bother me in the payoff unless it involves SuperCena decimating Punk. As with any intriguing scenario though, there are several great possibilities, and fantasy bookers everywhere have come up with scenarios. Two of my favorite have come from commenter Lucius/Havok816 of A1-Wrestling and Razor of Kick-Out!! However, both would involve Cena being gone from camera for a period of time. While I think Cena being out for a month or so wouldn't hurt, well, they were reluctant to do it in December, the deadest of the dead times for the company. Why would they do it in the build to SummerSlam?

However, there are ways that Cena can come out of this without his title but still with his job. I've got a bunch of scenarios that would fit the bill...

1. The Money in the Bank Winner Cashes in on CM Punk

This is the most obvious one, and it's the least creative one. Still, depending on who wins the briefcase, they could do worse than to crown a new Champion this way. I'm still not convinced that Cena/Rock SHOULD be for the title (it really doesn't need it), so Cena winning it back might not be a foregone conclusion.

2. CM Punk swerves the shit out of everyone, pulls out his extension and signs it of his own free will, preferably on top of the Spinner Belt

This would jibe with his tweets that mimicked his LiveJournal post, which ended in him signing his WWE developmental deal on top of the ROH World Championship. This is also my personal choice for an outcome, because it would mean a return match at SummerSlam most likely (Punk and Cena have PHENOMENAL chemistry in this blogger's view) and it would mean Punk's staying and is Champion. I don't feel like this needs more explanation.

3. Cena gets Punk to sign an extension as a way to keep his job

Here's the scenario. Punk wins the title, gets up holding the belt like the cat who ate the canary. He's strutting around, absorbing the adulation of his hometown crowd, ready to ride off into the sunset with his prize, going to the highest bidder. That is, until Cena, defeated, weary, broken, drags his body to the corner and calls for a microphone. He makes an impassioned plea for his job, letting Punk know that he did him a solid by putting his job on the line. Punk, being a man of honor and realizing that Cena did stand up for him after he basically ran The former Champ down for being an ass-kisser, returns the favor by signing an extension, sparing Cena's job. From there, he either turns face, or he continues the feud with Cena by kicking him in the face. Either one would do for me, as I don't care how Punk is presented, as long as he's there, y'know?

4. Punk and/or Cena somehow incapacitate Mr. McMahon before he can officially fire Cena

This one's multi-faceted. Basically, the end result is that McMahon gets put back into his coma due to a brutal beating before he can officially fire Cena. It might seem cheap in terms of semantics or whatnot, but it's also something WWE has pulled in the past. This would be the best option for them to keep Cena and still let Punk walk (triggering the story that Razor talked about on Episode 61 of Kick-Out!! Radio where they'd be without the WWE Championship for a month or more). The most intriguing iteration of this would be Punk and Cena teaming up. It would no doubt be the completion of Punk's major star turn, as he'd be aligned with Cena taking out the dastardly curmudgeon, Vince McMahon. A lot of things have changed in wrestling since 1997, but Vince McMahon's potential to be a proper villainous foil for ANYONE is one thing that's stayed the same.

5. Punk reveals himself the GM, re-hires Cena and holds the belt hostage for as long as he's on vacation

The more I think about it, the more I think this could be the best option. The scuttlebutt is that Punk definitely is leaving. I'm hesitant to believe it, because for one, the WWE could be working everyone though a GLAAD release and two, it's hard to believe that the career arc for Punk would be as such for a guy who's leaving, from him winning matches in the last two months to the big promo moment to the whole story devoted to him. That being said, if he does leave, allowing him to remain in the minds of the WWE fans as a remote GM voice wouldn't be the worst idea. Plus, it would allow for a lot of freedom to act within the time Punk's away as well as a ready-made story for his return.

Those are my five best options. Truthfully, my gut feeling, the one I've had all along actually, is that Punk is going to leave for a few months to a half-year and that we should be preparing for life without the best total performer in the business. And again, as long as he's not SuperCena'd into oblivion, I'm fine with it. However, it would be nice to have him sticking around, especially if he were the Champion.

One Last Dream Match: John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio

Cena's last dream match is against... Rey?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

If you don't know, I tend to live-Tweet RAW every Monday. I'm not the only one. There's a live cast of Twitter-characters on display, from guys talking about the show for realsies like Sugar Dunkerton to the outright trolls like Typical ROH Fan. OF course, my Fair to Flair cohorts tweet RAW from time to time, the most active being Razor of Kick-Out!! Blog. Last night, during the show, Razor had this observation during the three-way for a replacement Number One Contender among R-Truth, Alberto del Rio and Rey Mysterio:

I have a feeling this match is just a distraction, but the idea of John Cena vs. Rey Mysterio is very intriguing to me.

It's intriguing to me. As we'd find out later that night, the last time the two had faced off one-on-one was in 2003, before Cena turned face. The closest we've gotten since both guys hit the main event was last year at Viewer's Choice, when Rey was up for vote to face Cena in the main event. We all know how that turned out; CM Punk won the vote and he and his Straight Edge Society were offered up to slaughter for the Nexus' epic debut.

It's almost inarguable that these two guys are the biggest draws in WWE right now. Randy Orton may be anchoring Smackdown, but I still feel like he's a work in progress. Besides, we've seen Orton/Mysterio and Orton/Cena a whole lot. But Cena/Mysterio would be pretty magical, or at the very least fresh. I'd even say this is one of three dream matches left in WWE. One is Cena/Rock, and we're getting that at WrestleMania next year. The other is Cena/Undertaker, a match we'll probably never get because it's a WrestleMania-main event-caliber match, and next year will more than likely be Taker's last run.

The thing is, the window for Rey/Cena is closing as well. Rey is also not a spring chicken. Although he's not reached his 40th birthday yet, his knees are notoriously in bad shape to the point where if he retired next year, next month or next week, it wouldn't be surprising. They can't pull the trigger on it now because I feel like it's a WrestleMania main event, or at the very least something to headline SummerSlam. Cena's got a dream match in his sights, so he needs to stay occupied with temporary hurdles, be they del Rio, The Miz, Punk, Truth or even a returning Batista or Chris Jericho.

But if they do tangle? It would definitely be an intriguing match. Both guys are solid workers, although in different ways. Mysterio, although limited by his bad knees, is still a high-flyer and a hard bumper. Cena is a powerhouse whose big moves pop crowds. There's one more very interesting dynamic that would come into play here. Cena rarely ever works against guys who are smaller than, say, The Miz. WWE doesn't grow heels as small as Rey, and usually, if you're that small, you're typecast into a scrappy underdog role₁. I'd be very keen on seeing how Cena plays the big bully role.

An even more intriguing scenario would be heel Rey taking on Cena. It might seem incomprehensible now, but one of the more popular fantasy booking has Rey turning heel after growing jealous of Sin Cara. Everyone would assume that if this wasn't a face/face match that Cena would be the heel, but unless someone comes along who usurps Cena in popularity, I don't see him ever changing alignments. Rey though? I feel like he gets taken for granted more than Cena does. That's a situation that's so new to me that I can barely begin to process it.

Still, it goes to prove that there are many different possibilities for this dream match if it ever happens. I hope it does, because it could be a really cool thing to watch. Even for a jaded fan trying to reclaim his past innocence (futilely maybe), it would be a dream match come true.

1 - It's a big reason why I think Austin Aries remains unsigned by WWE, not just because of his size, but because of a combination of his size and his natural heel proclivities.

Kings Reign Supreme: What I Hope for a Possible WWE Arrival for Claudio and Hero

Kings Reign Supreme!

If you believe the scuttlebutt, Claudio Castagnoli and Chris Hero, collectively known as The Kings of Wrestling, have an offer on the table for a WWE contract. The no-brainer answer would be to take it, but stranger things have happened. Hopefully, they will sign, because as much as I like watching them in the indies, I would rather see them every week on WWE TV and as a fan of theirs, I want to see them get paid as much money as they can get.

That being said, there's always that tricky question of "usage" that makes people take up the insane thought that they'd be "better off staying in ROH". Granted, there's almost nothing that would make me think staying in the indies is a better idea than going to WWE. However, I am a bit skeptical as to whether they'll get a good shake in terms of exposure. They could end up like CM Punk, exceed expectation and rule ass, they could be like Daniel Bryan (and admittedly, I don't think we've scratched the surface as to what we'll see from the former American Dragon) and get TV time but not get to the main event, or they could end up like Colt Cabana and be out of the company within a year. If they end up like Bryan, and again, Bryan's story in WWE is only beginning, then it's all good. However, there's one superstar whose career trajectory... well whose PROJECTED trajectory was exciting, fresh and totally game-changing for an entire division.

Yes, if the Kings make it to WWE, I would love to see them take on the Kharma role for the tag division.

Before she stepped away from WWE due to her pregnancy, Kharma was set to turn the Divas division on its head. She wasn't presented as your normal model-turned-wrestler who had silicone implants, and because of that, she got a genuine reaction. All signs pointed to a more "serious" women's wrestling division, one where Kharma would destroy the chaff and set up for a hero, be it Nattie Neidhart, Beth Phoenix or Kelly Kelly, to take her down and maybe establish that the Divas were deserving of more attention than, as Razor and I talked about last night, which of the males they were dating.

Of course, there's no stigma attached to the tag team division in terms of sexism, but it seriously is lacking of teams that could be considered legitimately over as a tandem. I mean, the only two that I think come close are Kane and Big Show and the former Champions of Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater. The former are a mongrel team of two fan-favorites-because-they've-been-around-since-the-dawn-of-time, and the latter got their overness more because of the groups they were associated with rather than a build as a team. Even then, with the dissolution of Corre, they even seem floundering. And at this point, neither team has the titles. In what may be the lulziest Tag Team Champion tandem in WWE history, Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga hold the Tag Pennies right now. Even though the Divas division had and still has its own problems, at least they have attention paid to them.

That's where the Kings should come in. Let them debut and destroy the Usos, Slater and Gabriel and then earn a title shot, where they win. Build them up as an unstoppable force whose teamwork is unmatched. Let them defeat Show and Kane, maybe not in short order, but convincingly enough. Give them mic time so they can develop their characters as more than just a win streak. Let them become the tag division so that when you build up a new set of challengers to them, be they an existing team like the Usos (who have potential but haven't had great opportunities to develop heat) or Slater and Gabriel, or another new team, either of guys who are on the roster or of a new team from FCW that's built up. That way, when the Kings lose the titles, it's a big deal. When they lose, they don't lose their heat because Hero and Claudio have been developing their characters through feuds and promos. It's all a matter of smart booking and attention.

Of course, this may very well be a pipe dream. Given that the failed TV writers have shown no desire to build a midcard or a tag division past a token "feud" that involves either bullshit parity decisions from week to week or a series of matches where it's a series of clean victories by one party while the crowd is expected to care when the result is never in question and there's no other factors making the losing party seeming like he's still got a story to tell. That being said, if they can try to revolutionize the Divas, why not tags?

That is, of course, if the Kings sign with WWE. There's still a chance that they might opt to stay with ROH, or that the scuttlebutt is just something that was sensationalized through being passed down the grapevine. Still, there's no doubt that Claudio and Hero deserve a chance to be in the top company in their field. Hopefully, the people potentially signing them know what they're getting.

Because it has the chance to be special.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

The Start of Something Grand?

Steve Austin and CM Punk have teased a rivalry over Twitter for a little over half-a-year now. It was getting to the point where I didn't think we'd see anything come to fruition on camera, but last night, we got the above-embedded teaser. It's classic, starting with Austin's "What's up, Punk?" intro, almost like he meant to mimic that great leporine performer, Bugs Bunny. What followed was probably the best thing to happen on RAW last night.

I have to wonder though, am I getting my hopes up artificially? This isn't really beckoning to the question of whether Punk sticks around or not₁, but any kind of build really is just blue-balls if there's no match here. Punk can go, Lord knows Punk can go with the best of them. But Austin? Even if he's healed enough from the injuries that put him out of wrestling in the first place, does he have the desire? Or is he just content to deliver stunners, drink beers and pop in every once in awhile to remind us why we love him in the first place?

I don't know, but hey, it's fun to dream, right?

1 - Still waiting for a primary source on that one.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!