The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 14: Spencer Hall (EDSBS)

Photo Credit: Every Day
Should Be Saturday

Episode 14: Tiny Luchas: Songs from the Mexican Gift Shop

Spencer Hall, or Orson Swindle if you wiiiiill, is this week's guest on The Wrestling Podcast. He's the head guy at Every Day Should Be Saturday, so we'll talk a little college football. As is the custom, we talk about CM Punk as well, including describing him in ways that maybe others haven't thought about before. Also, why Sheamus' being an Irish stereotype is a good thing, why he hates John Cena and of course, some obligatory laughing at the expense of Darren Rovell.

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It's Physically Impossible for Me to Hate Triple H Anymore

Brought to you by The Game
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Okay, so by now, you know I have a source close to a wrestler whose former ring name rhymes with Clamerican Bragon who's kinda plugged into things backstage in WWE. For reasons that I don't want to get him or BD in trouble, I can't name names. Obviously. I'm putting this disclaimer here because I don't want to be just like all the other "dirtsheets" who quote nebulous sources within the company when they report on these kinds of things. This is as much of a primary source as you're going to get.

Yeah, so Daniel Bryan won Money in the Bank, leading into an epic angle for tonight and, along with Sin Cara getting drug-suspended, lending credence to the idea that WWE was going to start pushing guys based on their non-drug-use. That's not so much the case. Up until two hours before the event was slated to begin, Wade Barrett was slated to take the briefcase. At the last minute, as the writers and agents are wont to do, they changed their minds, deciding that RED BELLY was over enough to garner "legit" title shots in the coming months.

Jamie Noble spoke up when the finish was being decided and suggested Bryan. Vince McMahon, showing the side of him that keeps barking at Michael Cole to run down AmDrag for his dorkiness, basically asked why he would make the small, pale nerd a contender? He then went on to boast that he could make Heath Slater a star by doing the same thing.

Bryan then got a big vote of confidence from Triple H, who said "Then why not do it for Bryan?" Vince backed down, and Bryan won.

Aside from being a classic example of the lack of preparedness and utter chaos in booking meetings and such, this gives me a very warm, fuzzy feeling about the future of WWE, at least from the creative side, with Trips in charge. It doesn't particularly surprise me that he'd rush to Bryan's side though. For one, Bryan got his start with Shawn Michaels. Two, Trips has been in the ring for almost twenty years.

So yeah my fellow nerds, I think it's time to put aside our grudge for Triple H for burying our favorites earlier. I think he's gonna turn out good.

A Bait and Switch? Who Cares!

Was this a bait and switch? Yes. Is that a bad thing? No.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Let's get it out of the way, for the sake of argument. The ending of RAW Monday, with Vince McMahon telling Rey Mysterio to hit the showers because his match with The Miz for the Interim WWE Championship was postponed until the next week was a bait and switch. We, as viewers, were promised a one night tournament to completion. We didn't get it. This is definitely the kind of thing that ruined WCW, yes. However, there's a key different from the average ending to Nitro to what happened Monday. Well, there are several differences, actually.

The keyest difference between the powerful segment to end RAW and your average end to Nitro where the nWo would beat up on everyone and spraypaint shit and be dominant is exactly that. The WWE gave us something worthwhile, something that gave us a very important plot development. Given the choice between what we saw and what we were promised? Well, Mysterio and Miz would definitely have given us a good match, but then again, they can have that match next week too. It's not a crime to tip your hand and build towards a marquee match, even if it's on free TV (I'd say especially if it was on free TV). But the kind of TV that we got was once-in-a-lifetime, I think. I mean, how many times does Vince McMahon get fired from his own company with it having the kind of effect it had Monday?

That's why this bait and switch was a good idea, on several levels. It traded off something potentially good and gave us something really great. It gave that "something good" another week to simmer and get people excited for it. I mean, there was literally nothing wrong with what they did, and to me, pretending that there was is just that, pretending.

See, WWE, for all its faults in booking and execution, has done a great job in making sure they delivered what they promised for their main event. That's what made this change so powerful, because WWE doesn't do it all the time. And really, when WCW did their weekly shitting on the main event, was it ever powerful? Impactful? Maybe the first couple of times it was, but they kept running it into the ground.

Measuring what's good on a wrestling program by the tropes they use is shortsighted in my view. You need to judge on emotional impact, resonation. If you didn't like the last segment on RAW because you thought it schmaltzy or overacted, then fine, I cannot begrudge you your opinion. However, if it's because it was what WCW used to do, then I think you might have your criticisms misplaced.

The Doofus Son-in-Law Takes Over: Why I'm Looking Forward to Triple H's New Role

I LOVE YOU POP
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I know my street cred as a super-duper smark is going to take a hit on this, but when Triple H's music hit on Monday night, I got pretty excited. Yes, me, the man who has a tag that has existed since day one on here called "triple h sucks" was happy to see The Game come out to interplay with John Cena and Vince McMahon. If you want to stop reading, go ahead, I won't blame you. For the rest who are willing to see me change in a way, thank you for your continued patronage.

It's not that I was really happy to see Triple H in general. As an in-ring performer, I usually dread his appearances, leaving myself to be pleasantly surprised when he does good things. However, as a NPC or a behind-the-scenes guy, I am unusually and unexplainably optimistic about what he can mean for WWE.

For one, maybe it means he can no longer do any harm as a worker. That may be a disingenuous feeling, since Trips really as been on his best behavior for the second half of the last decade. I mean, he was the one who tapped out to He Who Shall Not Be Named at WrestleMania XX. He's done his fair share of atonement and putting guys over. Sure, he's also gone over guys who might have needed it, but let's be real - he cooled off his FEED EVERYONE TO ME kick substantially. That being said, it's hard to completely shake the feeling that he was coming to feast on the star du jour. As a wrestler, there's always that feeling that he can't shake the hunger for personal gain.

But as an executive? As a guy who has sat back for the better part of the last year and saw how the business unfolded and how it should unfold? I feel a bit easier about it. I mean, he'll wrestle on special occasions. Vince was never a regular wrestler, but he was never afraid to mix it up in the ring when he needed to. Triple H has an infinitely greater amount of that credibility. Since his matches would be against guys that would stand to make him more money as the head honcho in WWE (when he ascends to that position in real life), I feel like he'd do the right thing more often than not, and that he'd make the proceedings look super good in the process.

Plus, he'd be someone new in the authority role. It might force him to change up his delivery on serious stuff too. I don't know. What I do know is that I'm almost paradoxically excited for his return as an authority figure (well, his potential return... he may not even be full-time, y'know?). It could be good.

And no, you don't have to slap the sense back into me. Maybe this is growing up?

Instant Feedback: Dixie Carter Is Calling Vince McMahon's Cell AS WE SPEAK

So, when everyone was wondering where CM Punk would be tonight, he took in his hometown Cubs beating my Philadelphia Phillies at Wrigley Field. In the mean time, WWE put out a deliciously understated, nuanced show full of wrestling with a surreal ending. Coming off the most emotionally charged, action-packed PPV event in the company's history perhaps, well, it caught me a little off-guard. That being said, I dug RAW tonight.

For one, there was some good wrestling. Ziggler/Mysterio was a really, really good match, but is anyone surprised? They're two of the best workers in the world. Hell, I love tournaments on the whole, so even with some of the matches being duds, I liked the stories involved. Miz being portrayed as an underdog to me was the ballsiest one of those stories, and they're treading a fine line, but hey, it could be something interesting.

Then again, not everything worked. The Divas being cattle-chuted out just to stand around while Beth Phoenix did moves to Rosa Mendes was lame. And the tournament final being switched to next week felt like somewhat of a bait and switch to me. Then again, they have another week to build, and hey, the segment that followed was what made the show so damn intriguing. Yeah, we didn't get Punk. We got John Cena dodge firing, but it was through Triple H firing Vince McMahon. Yes, Vince McMahon got fired.

I can see where the show would have taken some off guard, but I thought it was decent. I'm intrigued to see where all this goes, but we got wrestling and story advancement tonight. That's a pretty good recipe for RAW, right?

Future Endeavors 7/17 Power Poll: It's All About Destination X and RAW's Final Segment

The Most Intriguing Storyline in Wrestling, Well-Represented in This Week's Power Poll
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bro-ry McIlroy, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. CM Punk (Last Week: 2)
2. John Cena (1)
3. Austin Aries (NR)
4. Brian Kendrick (NR)
5. Mark Henry (7)
6. Randy Orton (3)
7. Alberto Del Rio (4)
8. Sheamus (5)
9. Christian (6)
10. Vince McMahon (NR)

And now, my ballot!

1. CM Punk - I don't feel like I need to explain this. If you need an explanation though, I'd like to congratulate you for waking up from your coma. Get well soon, and if you've been in there for seven years or longer, well, the Red Sox have won the World Series... twice. I know, shocking, right?

2. Austin Aries - I'd say I wouldn't need to explain this either, but I know that Impact is the red-headed stepchild of the wrestling world. Well no, that's not right, because that'd imply that the company didn't deserve the beating it takes on a sometimes-daily basis. Be that as it may though, A Double capped off an amazing month-long run with the Impact contract, and hopefully it means he'll get to be the star he deserves to be. That is until they pull the rug out from the X-Division again, but hey, it's good to hope, I suppose.

3. Brian Kendrick - OUR LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER! ABYSS IS NO LONGER X-DIVISION CHAMPION! HOORAY!

4. AJ Styles - He won in the Destination X main event over his Fortune compadre, Christopher Daniels. I like AJ, I really do. In a perfect world, he'd have Sting-level fame, and I'm talking Sting in 1997, not Sting-doing-a-bad-hybrid-Heath Ledger-Jack Nicholson-impersonation in 2011.

5. Mark Henry - For the kicking of asses and the splitting of wigs, specifically the Big Show's, his own and Drew McIntyre's. Poor Drew though. He didn't even get the benefit of the giant air mattress for his fall.

6. Vince McMahon - I'd be lying if I said I didn't rank him this high because he said "LET'S HEAR IT FOR VINCE MCMAHON" again. So I won't.

7. John Cena - I docked him like two or three slots on the ballot this week because of his corny jokes to start the closing segment, but hey, he was still good mostly.

8. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan ranking.

9. El Generico - Steel cage win over Roderick Strong! OLE! -- EG WEB TRANSLATE

10. Jack Evans - He converted me from hater to admirer last Thursday by working a match and not thoroughly pissing me off during it. Good improvement!

Follow Friday: 'Rasslin' Rousers of Rabble

You could call this week's Follow Friday a guide to the best 'rasslin'-themed trolls out there. These guys know how to push buttons, but they're hilarious doing it.

First up, it's probably the best and one of the originals, Typical ROH Fan, found @typicalROHfan (duh). He's the stereotype of every bad Internet wrestling fan out there, trashing WWE (except CM Punk and Daniel Bryan), pumping up ROH and mocking certain people for their Twitter misappropriations. He has his moments of lucidity, during which he is unusually prescient and knowledgeable.

Via the FakeSirCole Twitter

Second is the Fake Sir Michael Cole, found @FakeSirCole. The Fake Cole is definitely playing up the Cole character all the way to eleven. He does it well too. He's also on Tumblr and Facebook.

Finally, the newest Twitter sensation is Dearest Vince, found @DearestVince, obviously. This was created in response to the #DearVince hashtag created as a way to tell Vince McMahon what we as wrestling fans want (itself a reply to Vince's in character rant of not caring what the fans want on Monday with CM Punk). Well, a clever troll definitely took advantage of that and started replying to people who used the hashtag, including me (who used the hashtag as a troll myself). One of the best new accounts to come down the pike in a long time. Very sharp.

I Want Ice Cream

Stolen from: @typicalROHfan, who stole it from someone's Tumblr

I really don't think I need to explain why this is fucking awesome.

Deja Vu Booking: One of WWE's BIGGEST Weaknesses

The first of two handicap matches... ugh
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Monday on RAW, the first match of the evening was a handicap match, John Cena against the Tag Team Champions, Michael McGillcutty and David Otunga. Okay, all well and good, a handicap match against the henchmen of his rival for Money in the Bank. Yeah, seeing the Champ go all SUPERCENA on the Tag Champs was irritating, but hey, that was last we'd see of those kinds of shenanigans tonight, right?

Yeah, then Big Show came out and wrestled Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler. Yeah. I have to wonder if these script writers even realize that they're doing what they're doing. If it were the first time something like this happened, I'd be more than willing to give them a temporary pass, but it happens so much in WWE, whether on a single show with a booking device or with a storyline on either brand. I mean just a couple of weeks ago, they finished two matches via castigo excesivo, aka, disqualification via the five count. It's just lazy.

Honestly, it's embarrassing. Even on strong shows, they can't escape these kinds of repetitive mistakes, and this lends more credence to a rushed atmosphere than any dirtsheet snippet or Cageside Seats expose ever could. I mean, where's the care? Where's the nuance? Where's the oversight? Corporately, WWE professes to be entertainment, and their competition to be scripted TV. Well, if scripted TV shows trotted out lazy scripts like WWE does, they'd get lambasted by critics and have fans turn out.

The WWE needs to start practicing what it preaches, and maybe the head producers/executives like Vince McMahon should ease up on the writers if this is the case. OR maybe the writers should get better. I don't know. But when you get gaffes such as these, it really makes for groan-inducing watching.

Instant Feedback: PUNK HARDER AGAIN

If tonight was any indication, the WWE is going to miss CM Punk if he's really leaving. While all this pomp and build makes me believe that they're not going to be letting him walk, well, tonight he proved that when he's on, he can take wrestling to another level. Even though it was a little crass, he was right when he said the only times wrestling gets front page pub is when he talks or a wrestler dies. That's publicity you can't buy. And really, this is only half of what Punk can do. He wrestles just as well as he talks, and he'll prove that at Money in the Bank, because Cena can too.

Speaking of Cena, outside of the beginning of his spiel after interrupting the contract negotiations, where Bad Goofy Cena reared his ugly head again, he was on point when he was serious. Hell, both bookend segments were outstanding. Vince McMahon acquitted himself well too, but he almost always does. He even broke out the "LET'S HEAR IT FOR VINCE MCMAHON" schtick again. Love that. Although one last note, is it a sad commentary on the city of Boston that it was Punk calling Cena the Yankees that made him snap? I'm from Philly, and we take sports very seriously, but even I think that's an almost sad breaking point.

Anyway, the rest of the show was just there, but it didn't really have to be anything but just there. The Money in the Bank prep was hit or miss. I will say that R-Truth talking about being afraid of spiders and the grits hitting the fan was again surreally entertaining. Christ, he should just do stand-up. He'd be like Tracy Morgan, only less controversial. Other than that, it felt warmed over. Miz was okay in his promo. Swagger was good. Bourne was actually decent on the mic, and then Kofi comes out and cuts the most generic promo I've ever heard. I mean, he's got good delivery... but who's writing this bullshit for him? Then after Truth's manic awesomeness, we get Alex Riley clearing the ring in the most nonsensical fashion ever... like, wouldn't he want to come out before SWAGGAH BOMBU? I don't know. The match was okay though.

Also, the Bella Twins should probably stay away from weight-based insults altogether. Calling Kharma fat is the wrong message. Calling Kelly Kelly overly skinny? Uh, have these twins looked in the mirror lately? Nattie, Beth Phoenix, Eve and Melina all have great body types. The Bellas are just as bad as K2. Maybe they should eat something more than bean sprouts and their fingers. And if you want to get a good reaction over the number of handicap matches on the show, just ask Razor. He'll give you the what for.

But then again, the sandwich portion of RAW could have been 90 minutes of monkeys on tricycles trying to fling poop at Santino and Hornswoggle and it wouldn't have mattered. Punk, McMahon and to a lesser extent Cena made this show. Is wrestling back? I'm not qualified to make that statement, because I'll probably continue to watch even if it turtles into further cultural obscurity. That, and if Punk leaves after Sunday, it's all for naught. However, RAW for the last three weeks has felt special, a certain kind of specialness it's lacked for a long time. Vince, Cena and ESPECIALLY Punk are the reasons why.

Expectation vs. Execution: Why Being Spoiled Isn't a Big Deal for Me

So no, I don't think it's unreasonable for fans of Christian's to be so upset over this. A lot of fans, and I mean A LOT of fans, were ecstatic about the new World Heavyweight Champion, and now? Well, that goodwill was either pissed down the drain or it was AT BEST a lateral movement onto Orton.

--Me, 5/11/11

Spoiler alert: I AIN'T CARE BOUT SPOILERS
Photo Credit: WWE.com

That was part of my reaction to the news that Christian had lost his newly-won World Heavyweight Championship to Randy Orton. I was pissed. I wasn't the only one either. The Internet had a collective apoplexy over the decision to re-strap the Viper upon his immediate arrival to Smackdown. Then, the match happened, and you know what? It was one of the best WWE matches, free TV or not, of the year to date. I can't speak for everyone else, but if I watched it live, or if I was kept free of the spoiler, I don't think I would have reacted to it as harshly. Yeah, I would have been disappointed at the result, but at the same time, I can never feel bad after watching great wrestling. What followed has been one of the best angles/feuds in WWE all year long.

It's with that in mind that I went into RAW Monday knowing what would happen between John Cena and Vince McMahon. I read the spoilers. I knew going in that yes, they'd be putting Cena's job on the line a mere eight months after they had used it to no avail the first time. I didn't care though, because I've been pleasantly surprised at the execution of several questionable spoilers over the last couple of years. I think it speaks to the fact that I've evolved as a fan. I also think that a lot of fans have evolved, at least the ones that have stuck around.

I don't think I'm alone in the thought that plot twists are the most important thing. Yeah, I get that surprise is important, although I often wonder the wisdom of swerving on a taped show. That being said, I also think that if you don't want to be spoiled, you should be shielded from spoilers. People who post spoilers on Twitter without any kind of warnings? Yeah, they're fucking cocks. However, it doesn't bother me personally if I've been spoiled anymore because I've become more and more enjoyed by how a thing plays out rather than ZOMG plot development that I didn't see coming.

That's why I really enjoyed the McMahon/Cena confrontation at the end of RAW despite disapproving of them going for the whole "ZOMG FIRED" angle again. The execution was great. Yeah, the direction where they may be going could be bad, but at the same time, why let that get in the way of the performance on screen?

I'm not telling you how to watch wrestling. I'm really not. If spoilers ruin your enjoyment, they ruin your enjoyment, and that's why I try not to post them in public. However, I couldn't care any less than I do know if I know the entire program or not. Just give me a good performance, okay?

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 10: Justin Henry

Photo Credit:
Justin Henry's Twitter

Episode 10: Tyler Black Sabbath

Tenth episode! Justin Henry and I talk about, of course, CM Punk, as well as Destination X, Eddie Guerrero exploitation, Mark Henry, why Jerry Lawler might not be at fault for his cracks about Vickie Guerrero and a few other things. We also delve into his gig writing at WrestleCrap. Give it a listen.

Direct link for straight download

Future Endeavors 7/7 Power Poll: Cena Is Beloved by the Net, Down Is Now Up

Was I the only guy to vote for McMahon?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bilbro Baggins, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. John Cena (Last Week: 8)
2. CM Punk (1)
3. Randy Orton (4)
4. Alberto Del Rio (7)
5. Sheamus (NR)
6. Christian (9)
7. Mark Henry (2)
8. R-Truth (5)
9. Alex Riley (NR)
10. Zack Ryder (NR)

And now, my ballot:

1. John Cena
2. Vince McMahon - I'm not sure that final segment works the way it does if one of these two guys is missing. They totally made up for Punk not being on the telecast "live", and it was great TV, especially from Cena.

3. Daniel Bryan - Guys, I think they really believe in Daniel Bryan. The next person who says they don't emphasize him despite the fact he's in a prominent feud is getting my e-foot up their cyber-ass.

4. Sheamus - He ruined a contract signing and turned it into a fellabration by putting his real boot up the corporeal asses of both Randy Orton and Christian. This gets four thumbs up from Wrestling Fan Goro.

5. Alex Riley - BACKSLIDE~!

6. Christian - I'd say being the first guy to beat Sin Cara is worthy of getting on my ballot.

7. The Miz - He basically teabagged Riley after their match was over. Is there anyone better in WWE at doing the post-match beatdown than Miz right now?

8. Alberto del Rio - He got a big win on RAW that meant nothing in the long run. But hey, a clean win over Rey Mysterio with the cross armbreaker is no joke.

9. R-Truth - He saved 15% on his car insurance by switching to Geico despite the fact he was talking to Flo the whole time. That's impressive!

10. Zack Ryder - Yeah, I voted for him just for coming out and fist-pumping for a minute. So what, want to fight about it?

Having It Both Ways: Ways Cena Can Lose the Title and Not Get Fired

Can their clash at Money in the Bank end with Punk victorious and Cena still employed?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The nadir for some of RAW on Monday was the end, where Vince McMahon laid down the stipulation for John Cena to be allowed to face CM Punk at Money in the Bank. If Cena allowed Punk to walk out of WWE with the Spinner Belt, he'd be fired. If it sounds familiar, well yeah, Cena had his job at stake in the Survivor Series main event, where if Wade Barrett didn't win the WWE Championship, he'd get shitcanned. Despite the fact that Randy Orton retained the title, Cena did not miss a single minute of run time. While I didn't have a problem with it at the time, in retrospect, it totally contributed to the total rushed feeling of the end of that angle.

So yeah, I can see where some skepticism would come in as to whether this is going to end up alright. I was caught up in the moment, so it didn't bother me then. It doesn't bother me now and won't bother me in the payoff unless it involves SuperCena decimating Punk. As with any intriguing scenario though, there are several great possibilities, and fantasy bookers everywhere have come up with scenarios. Two of my favorite have come from commenter Lucius/Havok816 of A1-Wrestling and Razor of Kick-Out!! However, both would involve Cena being gone from camera for a period of time. While I think Cena being out for a month or so wouldn't hurt, well, they were reluctant to do it in December, the deadest of the dead times for the company. Why would they do it in the build to SummerSlam?

However, there are ways that Cena can come out of this without his title but still with his job. I've got a bunch of scenarios that would fit the bill...

1. The Money in the Bank Winner Cashes in on CM Punk

This is the most obvious one, and it's the least creative one. Still, depending on who wins the briefcase, they could do worse than to crown a new Champion this way. I'm still not convinced that Cena/Rock SHOULD be for the title (it really doesn't need it), so Cena winning it back might not be a foregone conclusion.

2. CM Punk swerves the shit out of everyone, pulls out his extension and signs it of his own free will, preferably on top of the Spinner Belt

This would jibe with his tweets that mimicked his LiveJournal post, which ended in him signing his WWE developmental deal on top of the ROH World Championship. This is also my personal choice for an outcome, because it would mean a return match at SummerSlam most likely (Punk and Cena have PHENOMENAL chemistry in this blogger's view) and it would mean Punk's staying and is Champion. I don't feel like this needs more explanation.

3. Cena gets Punk to sign an extension as a way to keep his job

Here's the scenario. Punk wins the title, gets up holding the belt like the cat who ate the canary. He's strutting around, absorbing the adulation of his hometown crowd, ready to ride off into the sunset with his prize, going to the highest bidder. That is, until Cena, defeated, weary, broken, drags his body to the corner and calls for a microphone. He makes an impassioned plea for his job, letting Punk know that he did him a solid by putting his job on the line. Punk, being a man of honor and realizing that Cena did stand up for him after he basically ran The former Champ down for being an ass-kisser, returns the favor by signing an extension, sparing Cena's job. From there, he either turns face, or he continues the feud with Cena by kicking him in the face. Either one would do for me, as I don't care how Punk is presented, as long as he's there, y'know?

4. Punk and/or Cena somehow incapacitate Mr. McMahon before he can officially fire Cena

This one's multi-faceted. Basically, the end result is that McMahon gets put back into his coma due to a brutal beating before he can officially fire Cena. It might seem cheap in terms of semantics or whatnot, but it's also something WWE has pulled in the past. This would be the best option for them to keep Cena and still let Punk walk (triggering the story that Razor talked about on Episode 61 of Kick-Out!! Radio where they'd be without the WWE Championship for a month or more). The most intriguing iteration of this would be Punk and Cena teaming up. It would no doubt be the completion of Punk's major star turn, as he'd be aligned with Cena taking out the dastardly curmudgeon, Vince McMahon. A lot of things have changed in wrestling since 1997, but Vince McMahon's potential to be a proper villainous foil for ANYONE is one thing that's stayed the same.

5. Punk reveals himself the GM, re-hires Cena and holds the belt hostage for as long as he's on vacation

The more I think about it, the more I think this could be the best option. The scuttlebutt is that Punk definitely is leaving. I'm hesitant to believe it, because for one, the WWE could be working everyone though a GLAAD release and two, it's hard to believe that the career arc for Punk would be as such for a guy who's leaving, from him winning matches in the last two months to the big promo moment to the whole story devoted to him. That being said, if he does leave, allowing him to remain in the minds of the WWE fans as a remote GM voice wouldn't be the worst idea. Plus, it would allow for a lot of freedom to act within the time Punk's away as well as a ready-made story for his return.

Those are my five best options. Truthfully, my gut feeling, the one I've had all along actually, is that Punk is going to leave for a few months to a half-year and that we should be preparing for life without the best total performer in the business. And again, as long as he's not SuperCena'd into oblivion, I'm fine with it. However, it would be nice to have him sticking around, especially if he were the Champion.

Double Tape RAWs and You

A big reason why last night's RAW worked
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I wasn't looking forward to RAW this week. I really wasn't. Usually, when they tape two episodes, the crowd dies for the second one (if it was even alive for the first two hours of taping anyway), the wrestlers look tired and the show is chock full of filler that makes it drag. So imagine my surprise when it was 11:05 PM, EDT last night and I sat in amazement of the full telecast. It wasn't just that the episode was good, but it was maybe the best one all year.

I have to give a lot of credit to that Las Vegas crowd. While Sin City is known for a lot of things, hot wrestling crowds aren't one of them. Furthermore, asking them to sit through another two hours of taping after experiencing the epic CM Punk rant live? I can see why a crowd might be burnt out after that, but to their credit, they reacted to things and kept the background noise going. The most telling thing was their reactions to Zack Ryder's theme music coming on. He got an audible, organic pop when his music cued up. For a guy who gets no TV time, that's a pretty amazing reaction for a nearly-spent crowd.

I think a lot of credit has to go to John Cena and Vince McMahon as well. Cena came out after the Punk promo to open up the second episode of RAW and delivered a forcefully genuine plea to Vince about letting a guy speak his mind. It was a total HLR Cena move, and as a guy who's more a fan of lawful good Marine Cena than I am of snarky wannabe Cena, I appreciated it. The closing segment was just as good. Say what you want about them potentially rehashing the Survivor Series angle from last year where Cena might get fired, but I thought that the execution of the segment, from beginning to end, was tremendous. Vince was at his Mr. McMahon best, and Cena did some of the best promo work he's done since that back and forth with Batista last year leading up to WrestleMania.

That begs the question why these double tape RAWs can't always be like this. Maybe there's a hot story needed. Maybe the crowd has to be right. For that last point, it severely limits the choice of crowd to the Pacific Time Zone, seeing as you wouldn't be getting out of the arena on the East Coast until 2 AM at the earliest. Vegas proved to be a great crowd for this. We know Sacramento would be an awesome crowd as well. What other crowds would do the trick? Maybe Seattle/Vancouver? Portland? Not many California crowds fit the bill. Or hey, maybe they could do Honolulu, especially if the next jumping off point for the RAW roster is Australia. Either way, if they could find the right formula, it might make double tape RAWs in the future more feasible and then make them a bit more common to give guys a night off here or there.

Regardless, last night's show worked. It might be the exception, but it's a welcome one.

Instant Feedback: John Cena, a Real American Hero

Usually, whenever they tape two RAWs at the same time, the second show is flat, the crowd sucks and nothing really ever happens. Reading some of the spoilers for this show, my hopes weren't high. But that's the thing about spoilers; usually, they only tell part of the story. Verily, tonight's RAW was awesome from top to bottom. How fitting that in this year of upside-down and inside-out that the show that was taped after one two-hour show was among the best of the year, eh?

A lot of that comes from John Cena. He is counted on as WWE's workhorse and their top star, but sometimes, he can come off as trite or insincere. When he does, it makes for bad television. Tonight, he sounded sincere. His promo to kick the show off was about as good as I remember him being. When he's out there, standing up for Hustle, Loyalty and Respect, he is a tremendous, must-see character. Him standing up for his rival, for free speech and for the integrity of the match was riveting and the perfect way to kick off RAW. Even more stunning was his faceoff with Vince McMahon at the end of the show. Let's not get it twisted. McMahon was good in that segment, but Cena carried it. So much forceful emotion... when he feels genuine, I see why he's the top guy in WWE. IT didn't matter to me that they teased another firing, even if they teased and followed through with it to rushed results (even if I thought the story they told with him and Nexus/Wade Barrett was good in theory). The tension of the segment would have sold me on the PPV if I wasn't already sold on it before any match was announced.

And the bookends weren't the only things that sold this show on me. The wrestling was good, even if it wasn't spectacular. The segment with Evan Bourne, Sgt. Slaughter and Jack SWAGGAH~! was epic, especially with Swagger bringing up Sarge's early '90s defection to Iraq. R-Truth on the phone with Flo and plugging the wrong insurance company was epic. Alex Riley winning with a backslide and then Miz doing everything but teabagging him was fitting. Hell, even the Divas got time and had a decent match, which for them was akin to Savage/Steamboat from WM III.

And hey... ZACK RYDER SIGHTING! Here's hoping he and Curt Hawkins, or Chris Masters, or even his father get a shot at the Tag Pennies and more exposure on my RAW program.

For whatever reason, RAW clicked tonight, all 125 minutes of it. Looks like summer is heating up for WWE.

Zack Ryder Vs. Convention... Convention Wins

Woo woo woo... where was he?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Vince McMahon is a Luddite, if you believe Bryan Alvarez, that is. While I've had some well-documented issues with Alvarez recently, I understand it's pretty difficult trying to break news in the wrestling industry. When he says that Vince McMahon "hates the Internet" according to a source within the company, I take him at face value. Why?

Because there's no other reason than that for Zack Ryder not appearing on RAW.


We all know the following Ryder has amassed amongst the Internet. We all want him to have a bigger role. That want has spread, at least in his home area of Long Island. While he hasn't latched on in other areas, he was popular on the Island. He got several chants. And what did he get? A broken promise to appear on RAW. Another rib. Great job. The last rib that McMahon pulled off pissed off only one wrestler and paying customers. It was a stupid gambit, and now, he went and pissed off his employees too. Dolph Ziggler came with the boldest of the backlash:

You didnt rib 'the kid' tonight, you ribbed the fans, Long Island & the boys in the back! AND kicked him in the nuts! #RyderOrRiot

Seriously, more than just Ryder are presumably pissed at this.

Again, it goes without saying that Alvarez could be getting worked here. The circumstantial evidence is there, but again, it's circumstantial, and it would be inadmissible in court if this were a trial by law. Still, it's baffling why Vince would refuse to put a star over who made himself. I mean, isn't this the mantra from every single "old-time" star? Didn't Warrior spend a good sidebar on his Randy Savage tribute talking about how in the old days, guys made their own way? Didn't Steve Austin spend a good amount of Tough Enough telling guys that they wouldn't have their hands held? Brandon Stroud actually had a rant from his latest Best and Worst of RAW column about that:

Raw on Long Island comes and goes for the second time without an appearance from Zack Ryder, more or less proving that WWE doesn’t give a ripe shit how hard you work to get yourself over, and all that stuff Austin says on Tough Enough about making your own chances is a horse’s anus. Hey Austin, you know how you keep telling people how when you first got to WWE you were the Ringmaster and how terrible that was? Guess what? You spent the five f**king years before that on television having awesome matches with Brian Pillman and Ricky Steamboat and Dustin Rhodes and being part of the Dangerous Alliance, which is unarguably the best thing in the history of wrestling. You were a multiple-time champion, and you got fired just in time to show up in ECW during that one time period when getting fired and showing up in ECW was the coolest thing you could do. Then they made you King of the Ring and put you in a feud with Bret Hart.

How many of those things happened to Big Andy? How many of them happened to Matt Cross? F**king none of them. Andy got put on a wrestling reality show. Matt Cross spent five years wrestling Josh f**king Abercrombie. You didn’t make your chances, Austin, WCW and the WWF did. You just happened to be extremely talented at pro wrestling. Funny how that turned out, right?

Yep. Co-sign all of that.

This isn't some pedantic plea to get a guy more airtime. Not at all. Ryder is legitimately talented and has legitimately connected with a significant portion of the fanbase. This isn't 1998 anymore. It's 2011. The Internet matters, or else the WWE wouldn't mandate its wrestlers, announcers and air personnel be on Twitter or create a bunch of Facebook like pages or pimp the Internet achievements in their bullshit fluff "Did You Know" segments. Now, are the stereotypical "Internet" fans a majority group now? No, but there's gotta be a higher percentage of the audience that is plugged in the way we've always been in the last ten years. Ryder has become an especial star in this era of Internet. Sixteen of seventeen of his Z! True Long Island Story videos have garnered over 100K views. He has 37K+ subscribers. He has 123K+ followers on Twitter. As a reference, he's only 20K behind the current United States Champion. He has more than the challenger to that US Championship. More than the guy challenging for the WWE Championship. More than Rey Mysterio, i.e., arguably the company's second biggest draw.

Despite that success with the new media, Ryder remains ignored. Why? Whether it's because Vince hates the Internet like Alvarez's nebulous source says or because he didn't get over because of the Vince hype machine or because Vince just doesn't understand the new media, I'm not sure. I'm not sure I care either. It's bad not to even explore whether Ryder can make some kind of dent. No matter what the reason is.

Admittedly, I did come off nonchalant about the whole thing after the show. I didn't need Ryder to enjoy the show, as it was a good RAW. Plus, he probably got more of a chance to shine, albeit on a smaller stage, in a more meaningful way. That being said, this was something that meant a lot to Ryder. It meant a lot to his colleagues. It meant a lot to his fans. And yeah, if he did appear on RAW, I probably would have marked out too. No, scratch that. I know I would have marked out.

So yeah, here we sit, for whatever reason, Vince McMahon wants to continue to ignore a guy who has made himself. So when Ezekiel Jackson, he of almost no heat, wins the Intercontinental Championship on Sunday to absolutely no crowd reaction (and I like Big Zeke, but let's not sugarcoat this, the crowd is dead for him), and he wonders why, well, I hope he at least starts to get it.

I doubt it though.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

A Stunning Entry into WWE: Was It a Good Idea to Lay Out the Winner of Tough Enough?

Not the best debut for Mr. Leavine, is it?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Andy Leavine won WWE Tough Enough. I'm not going to pretend I was emotionally invested in him or the show because I watched maybe fifteen minutes of it total before the end last night, both scheduled and the part where it spilled over into the intro of the actual RAW telecast. I have to admit, the guy's got a good look and seems WAY better suited for immediate success than Maven, the winner of the first season of the first incarnation of the show.

However, his entry into WWE after winning the competition was inauspicious to say the least. He was greeted first by a slap from Vince McMahon that segued into the worst sell-job off a Stone Cold Stunner that I have ever seen in my life. I chalk it up to jitters and greenness, but it wasn't the sell-job that had most people up in arms. It was the act of the stunner itself that made folks upset. Why lay out a guy in his first real act as a WWE superstar? Wasn't the whole point to create a new, hot act through 10 weeks of personal investment? To squelch it there just seemed pointless to some, not as much to me, but to those who watched the show, yeah, I can see where they might be angry.

Maybe it's because I didn't watch the show and thus didn't really have much of an attachment to him. I don't know. Maybe it's because I also think that there's almost no way for someone to get completely derailed nowadays, or even ever. Heat is very much elastic. Look at Dolph Ziggler. Earlier this year, his push was bungled about as hardcore as you can fuck someone's momentum up. He's still over. He still can garner heat, although Vickie Guerrero does have a lot to do with that. Then again, Vickie didn't quite get that horrible Enri... what the fuck was his name again? The guy who was on the roster for a hot second before getting future endeavored last year? So forgettable.

This feels to me like one of those situations where the WWE really did something dumb, but where Andy may end up being fine because hey, he does have the talent enough that four WWE/WCW alumni saw it. Then again, I just don't see what the hell their philosophy in making guys "pay dues" is anymore. It's like, they're afraid of creating a Brock Lesnar, but like AnonymousJX pointed out, there are those who've been snakebitten by WWE's asinine "building" practices like Ki who point out that they don't want world-humbled indie wrestlers either and look for ego. It's like they're looking for the guy who's egotistical, but not too egotistical, almost as if they're trying to break people. Well, the breaking process doesn't really lend itself to getting guys over like the tried-and-true process of a slow build through the card does.

Yeah, I know that TE doesn't exactly seem like the kind of slow build vehicle I'm talking about, but then again, who said anything about the winner going right from the training dojo to main events? This is where the lack of a defined midcard and tag division hurts them the most.

So yeah, maybe my glibness over how Andy Leavine was treated is a bit wrong here. I want to think he'll be fine, but then again, their track record, both with TE in the past and NXT, seems to indicate that he might be in trouble. This points to a fatal flaw in how WWE treats true rookies, and that things like the Nexus angle, which we can all agree was executed well from debut until at least SummerSlam, are the exception and not the rule.

Hopefully, eating a stunner doesn't mean that Andy is the latter and not the former. If that's the case, and I'm USA Network, then I'd be pissed.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

More on the Mark Henry Rib

Somebody done got they ass ribbed
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Okay, so by now, you know I have a source close to a wrestler whose former ring name rhymes with Clamerican Bragon who's kinda plugged into things backstage in WWE. For reasons that I don't want to get him or BD in trouble, I can't name names. Obviously. I'm putting this disclaimer here because I don't want to be just like all the other "dirtsheets" who quote nebulous sources within the company when they report on these kinds of things. This is as much of a primary source as you're going to get.

Okay, so apparently, there are some details surrounding the Mark Henry rib. First and foremost, the rib came straight from the top of the company, Vince McMahon himself. Henry was told he'd be facing Sin Cara in the dark match main event. Henry went to go over spots with Cara, only to be foiled because the former Mistico doesn't speak English. At this point, Henry still didn't know it was a rib, and he went out to the ring while his music played on loop for 10 minutes. All the other wrestlers and agents were in on it, so they were crowded around the monitors to see what was going on.

Anyway, Henry waited out there for a good 40 minutes before saying "fuck this" and leaving the ring area. He went to the back and just started throwing a temper tantrum in the Gorilla position (for those who don't know, the Gorilla position is the antechamber between the mystical area known as "The Back" and the main arena, named as such because that's where Gorilla Monsoon used to hang out later in his career). He was overheard as saying "FUCK THIS PLACE, I QUIT". In the funniest development, he kept his tantrum going in the locker room, yelling at various guys while he was naked. I guess whether I could have kept a straight face with a naked Henry yelling at me would be directly proportional to how afraid I was of him.

I thought this story was pretty funny, especially Henry's reaction to it. I still think it was unprofessional to do, not because it was a rib on Henry, per se (ribs are pretty common in wrestling, just ask anyone who knew Owen Hart), but again, because it was toying with the crowd. You don't do that kind of false advertising, especially if they're accustomed to getting a dark match main event. However, I do admit that if I were in the locker room, I'd probably have been laughing my ass off at this too. Then again, if I were a pro wrestler or worked for WWE, I'd probably not be writing this blog. OR WOULD I?

Anyway, I also want to issue a formal retraction and apology to Michael PS Hayes. I doubt he reads this, but at the same time, I feel bad for insinuating a racially motivated mean-spirited prank when it was just a rib that came down from Vince himself. Mea culpa.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!

Goodbye, Randy

As I close Macho Week, I'm still floored by the fact that Randy Savage is gone, especially floored that we never got the closure that other WWF/E legends got, some several times over to diminishing impact each time. I guess that's why this video is so a propos. It showed so much hope and promise that hey, maybe Macho was only going to be gone from the WWF for a couple of years and then come back. It was the nature of the business, right? Here we are 17 years later, and we'll never get that. Is it selfish of us to feel bad about it? Probably, given that a mother lost her son, a wife her husband and a brother his own brother. Still, it's natural.

Vince McMahon is an enigmatic figure that the best of psychologists and psychiatrists might have trouble cracking. For all his neuroses and quirks (and that's putting it mildly), at one time, he let his human side come through and let the world know, though his heartfelt-sounding words, that maybe the tyrant was a man after all. By all accounts, he considered Randy Savage a son at one time. Whatever happened to make that feeling go away may be something we'll never know, but there are at least vestiges there, as noted by his obituary for Savage in TIME Magazine. Here is the goodbye that McMahon gave to Savage the week after his final on-air appearance. Little did we know it'd be his final goodbye from WWF/E forever.



Rest in peace, Macho Man. You were, and forever will be, unforgettable. DIG IT.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!