Instant Feedback: Bearded Giraffes

I didn't expect anything major to happen tonight, being that holiday RAWs rarely ever do anything. I was somewhat wrong, at least towards the beginning of the show, although the end reinforced the notion that nothing ever happens except for standard "faces win out" on these kinds of shows. I guess that's why I could palate John Cena standing tall over both Jack SWAGGAH and Alberto del Rio here. There would be plenty of time next week when more people presumably are watching to give del Rio some shine. Plus, the context surrounding the Swagger counter and tap was pretty good. In the main event, they managed to further one of my favorite stories, Dolph Ziggler and SWAGGAH's rivalry for the affections of Vickie Guerrero. del Rio, who was the other star of the show through his Sean O'Haire-esque backstage segments trying to rally troops to do his bidding for him, played into that as well, planting seeds into Ziggler's head about what Swagger's true intentions for Vickie were. Lost in the trailers for shitty movies and the Triple H/Kevin Nash/CM Punk top storyline spinning wheels, there's a really good midcard angle going on here.

That being said, when one top storyline is glossed over and the other gets the standard SuperCena Über Alles ending, it might seem like a terrible RAW. Let's look at the former now. The show started off with a lacking start, even though Punk did his best to save it. I thought he was much better actually wrestling, which people seem to discount because of the whole PIPEBOMB shtick. We know he's great on the mic, but when he gets people to care about a match with R-Truth that doesn't have a whole lot of context around it other than "Hey, he wrestled his tag partner last week", then that's mastery. I do like Punk's paranoia here concerning Trips' intentions towards Nash, but I think a lot of the peripheral stuff has come off pretty badly. One, the narrative still has Punk coming off as, well, a punk to some of the audience. Two, Trips putting his COO position on the line so soon into the narrative? Maybe I can dig it, but it feels too soon for me, even if I feel like the match itself isn't too soon. Third, if Nash is really gone (and with him getting in Funkhauser's limo in the second segment means he's not, more than likely), then it's been spinning wheels since his reintroduction at SummerSlam. Four, there is no four, only Zuul. Finally, the payoff that Nash was the one who sent the text was lame. Like, beyond lame. It pretty much insisted that he's a main player when he's not, and really, no one watching the show for the last three months buys that Trips, if he's a fair arbiter (and to their credit, he has been portrayed as such), is going to choose a guy who showed up, waltzed in and gave an ultimatum over the guy who has sold out a shit-ton of t-shirts and gotten Trips a lot of positive press, if we can blur the lines between kayfabe and "real" for a moment.

Also, I couldn't help but smile at the video package for Zack Ryder, and letting him get the win to a deafening pop was proof enough for me that the guy has arrived and that the fans do have a voice. When Michael Cole is ripping on a guy, you know they've arrived. Ryder's exuberance with Cena afterwards was really cool too, almost like it was as real as it was supposed to be part of the narrative. I really like a good success story. That being said, the pretense behind the match, that Lawler doesn't like David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty because they have "no charisma", is starting to grate on me. I think I see what all these people who think that "personality" is a funny thing to kayfabe feud over.

Also, the sooner they get Eve out of an active wrestler role, the better. Beth Phoenix may have flubbed the Glama-Slam, but she at least looks like a pro wrestler in there. Eve does not. I do find it funny though that they're using that Katie Raymond article as a talking point on TV. Again, K. Sawyer Paul is a guru at this kind of thing. Speaking of people who shouldn't be on camera? Jinder Mahal and Great Khali suck out loud in the ring. Not even Evan Bourne's masterful bumping could make them look good. Also, when Heath Slater and Randy Orton is a RAW match? Well, let's backtrack on that. It was a decent match. And I get the reasoning for it. However, it's something that might have been better suited for Superstars. Then again, what match would replace it? A Mark Henry squash? No better. Eh, I guess I can't complain, especially since Orton, I feel, has started becoming more comfortable wrestling as a good guy. I really like that he's actually setting up spots, especially his stump DDT, rather than, oops, guy's on the apron, let's drag him in and DDT him. Forcing the setup just looks cool.

But if we're going back to the wrestling, the main event tag match was as good a wrestling match as you'll get on a RAW main event. Just excellent pacing and storytelling all around. I liked the interplay between Ziggler and Swagger, the fact that Swagger got to attain beast mode early on, Sheamus taking out centuries of Irish frustration on the proxy for English oppression, Wade Barrett, and especially the spot where Christian's slap enraged Sheamus so much that it got both of them counted out. Really solid action for a show that was actually better than the impression I gave off on Twitter tonight. It was very much a holiday RAW, but it was a somewhat well-executed holiday RAW. It had its flaws, but I enjoyed it for the most part.

Instant Feedback: Okay but Still Not Super

Smackdown was promised to be super tonight. It was live, it was co-branded, it had a loaded lineup. Other than two parts of the show, it was anything but super. That being said, at least the two parts that were really good were the two most important parts of the show. First, there was the contract signing between Triple H and CM Punk. IT was really, really good. Punk had his A-game back after being off the last two editions of RAW. Last night, he came off as a smarmy asshole who begged to get his comeuppance. Tonight, he acquitted himself better as the folk hero he needs to be to be a fan favorite. He was pitch perfect and with his speech about loving WWE and wanting drastic change, he totally rehabbed the damage on his cred when he went out and imitated Chris Jericho, circa 2000. Triple H was really good here too, a perfect counterbalance to Punk. He was sympathetic in his own right, and he had his own narrative. The more I think about it, the more I think the logical move here is going to an alliance between Punk and Trips, but since that is obvious, it's probably not happening.

The other really good part to tonight's show was the main event. It started off slowly, and it was looking like it wouldn't be the best work between Christian and Randy Orton. However, in the last segment of the match, things really picked up. Christian's avoidance of Orton's signature moves was amazing. The best play came when he hopped on the second turnbuckle to go for his diving European uppercut. It looked like Orton would hit him with the RKO, but Christian stopped short and dodged it. That was fucking cool. This was clearly the least best of the matches between the two I've seen, and the narrative from the announcers about it being a scintillating rivalry was just annoying because it was anything but in retrospect. However, it was still good enough to put a positive spin on the show. Well the match plus Mark Henry splitting wigs afterwards. Dude is rough 'n tumble. I really hope they strap him, let him run to WrestleMania and have the story be the smallest but most skilled man on the roster, Daniel Bryan, be Smackdown's last hope. That won't happen, but hey, it's nice to dream.

Speaking of which, while the Bryan/Sin Cara match was one of Bryan's weakest of the year, it bears noting that with the kick to Bryan in the post match? I really think we're going to see a dueling Sin Cara feud. Could be good.

Other than that, there really was nothing to write home about. John Cena reared his ugly head tonight, not only trying to crack wise, but coming off as utterly unlikable. He suckerpunched Ricardo Rodriguez, and then when Wade Barrett called him on it, he claimed he still owed him payback. Really John? You don't call dropping a million chairs on the man payback enough? The writers and/or Cena really must not think all that highly of the fans for us to forget what happened at the end of the TLC PPV in December. Ugh. The match was a turd too. Too short and too one-sided. I'm not saying this as a pedantic smark who thinks that Wade Barrett should be booked to look STRONG ZOMG. I'm saying this from a standpoint that when I see a match billed as a "MAIN EVENT", I want to see more than just token resistance and squash-like results. Compare to the real main event. No one thought Christian was going over. No one except maybe the most deluded Christian fanboys. Okay, but I think they did a really good job of selling the fact that Christian might just win. Barrett and Cena? It was like the people who laid the match out knew that the crowd knew who was going to win and told them to phone it in because they had to get more plugs, recaps and trailers in.

Yep, when you have a co-branded show, you definitely need more trailers and plugs, right? I mean, it's not like there were guys like Cody Rhodes, the Awesome Truth, Justin Gabriel, Ezekiel Jackson and Vickie Guerrero's traveling dysfunctional circus who could have been there instead of the trailer for Trips' next shitty movie or a recap for the most one-sided main event feud in WWE history... oh wait, there was.

Smackdown was better than RAW was last night, but it still felt very warmed over, not befitting the Super Smackdown label. I felt like I was bored for half the show, but thankfully, the other half of it that was worth watching was at least good. All I have to say though is that the magic WWE had over the summer is disappearing rapidly. Hopefully, this is just a hiccup and when RAW rolls around Monday, we get back to the awesomeness that we've been treated to in July and most of August.

Future Endeavors 8/17 Power Poll: Quick Turnaround, This Time!

CHAMPION! ...baaaht, chu already knew that
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Khal Bro-go, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Alberto Del Rio (Last week: NR)
2. CM Punk (1)
3. Randy Orton (5)
4. John Cena (2)
5. Christian (3)
6. Cody Rhodes (NR)
7. Wade Barrett (NR)
8. Daniel Bryan (6)
9. Kevin Nash (NR)
10. Kelly Kelly (NR)

And now, my ballot!

1. Alberto del Rio - Who knew it'd take cashing in Money in the Bank, opening RAW with one of the swarthiest displays of cockery ever and having a legit Match of the Year candidate with Rey Mysterio to knock CM Punk from the top spot?

2. CM Punk - Any other week, "omg Kevin Nash? wtf, I thought he was dead lol" would have landed him at #1.

3. John Cena - He had a tremendous match at SummerSlam, got his foot on the ropes and then when TrollFace asked him "u mad?" he was all like "YEAH I REAL MAD!" In fact, he was way madder at Alberto del Rio for cashing in than the guy who ended up as his victim did.

4. Mark Henry - He won HOSS FIGHT 2K11, so he gets this spot. I'm pretty sure that what he did to Sheamus at the end of that match constituted a wig splitting, don't you think?

5. Jay Lethal - He caused an inception moment between me and Cameron Riley. Oh yeah, and won the ROH TV Title. But yeah, INCEPTION *BRAAAAAAAAHM*

6. Wade Barrett - RED BELLY got some of his mojo back with a win over Daniel Bryan in what was probably the finest match of his career. Yep, the funniest thing I have to say about this is the year-old meme that I created and am the only one to really use. THEY CAN'T ALL BE GOLD.

7. Kelly Kelly - She not only got through her match with Beth Phoenix without embarrassing herself or mortally wounding either herself or her opponent, but she actually looked good. Maybe next, she'll wrestle a 60 minute Iron Woman classic with Akira Hokuto at Differ Ariake? Okay, baby steps.

8. Jack Swagger - Deal with a sandbagging rookie and then afterwards, mack on some cougar action back stage? Pffft, NBD for the All-American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American.

9. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan Ranking ®

10. Nigel McGuinness - He came back to ROH after being used up and spit out by Impact. If he had decapitated broadcast partner Kevin Kelly and put his head on a pike afterwards? He'd have gotten #3 easy.

Daniel Bryan, Hot Commodity: Why Wade Barrett Needed the Win at SummerSlam

Pictured: The Right Call
Photo Credit: WWE.com

There's an overwhelming paranoia among some wrestling fans on the Internet that any time one of their favorites gets to WWE, they're always fighting an uphill battle with management to get quality screen time, booking support and a chance to make a meaningful connection with the genpop fans. This can lead to a hypersensitivity towards wins and losses where every time a cult favorite loses a match, he's "buried". This is nothing new, and it's been happening for years. These overreactions are a big reason why we can't have nice things.

So, it should go without saying that there was an undercurrent of people who were pissed off that Daniel Bryan, maybe the patron saint, or at the very least co-patron saint with CM Punk, of Internet darlings, lost to Wade Barrett. Here's the thing though. Bryan didn't need to win that match. Barrett though? You bet your sweet ass he did.

Let's take a look at both guys over the last couple of months, or at least for Barrett, the last six months. Bryan recently has been involved in a hot free TV feud with Cody Rhodes where he won a bunch of matches, won the Smackdown Money in the Bank match and then announced he'd cash it in at WrestleMania, thus ensuring himself one of the three or four biggest matches on the card. Barrett, meanwhile, has lost his stable twice, lost his Championship belt with little fanfare to a guy who's not over with the crowd and who's really lost his way since being arguably the biggest villain in WWE.

Common sense is that if you were going to put both of those guys in a big match, then Barrett should have been the one to win. Granted, if you also wanted to argue that both guys needed protection, and thus shouldn't have been programmed against each other, then yeah, I'd see where you were coming from. That being said, we were already through the looking glass on this one when the match was booked. Really, it was a damn good match, and only the most intensively-focused on wins and losses will see Bryan as losing anything because of it.

The new hotness among some fans is that Barrett should be next in line for a shot at Randy Orton. With Mark Henry's feud with Sheamus looking to me like it still has a lot of legs on it, that wouldn't be the worst stopgap program for Night of Champions (especially if the endgame for Hell in a Cell is a final Orton/Christian match). That being said, I think there's a lot of ground left to explore between the American Dragon and the former Nexus overlord. I would love to see these two continue their series of matches, because they had good chemistry with each other Sunday, because they have history that ostensibly reaches back more than a year, and because Barrett could learn a thing or two by wrestling Bryan. Maybe that's the direction they're going, maybe it isn't, but whatever the situation is, Barrett winning that match was the right call.

Big Sexy Destiny: WWE SummerSlam 2011 Review

I did not see this one coming in the least, did you?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Personally, if you laid out all the finishes to SummerSlam that I thought would happen, I didn't think in a million years that Kevin Nash, acting apparently independently of Triple H, laying out CM Punk after he had questionably defeated John Cena to unify the titles to set up Alberto del Rio cashing in his Money in the Bank contract, would be the end game. Given all the agita that some folks on the Internet were giving themselves over this, the fact that Triple H's biggest impact in this match was him putting over the importance of having a title, i.e. putting Cena and Punk over his own supposed MO, should be the biggest relief in the world to those who thought he'd end up jizzing all over the ring, and I'm left feeling much easier about things going forward. With all that being said, SummerSlam was a damn fine PPV, and a fitting follow up to the white hot Money in the Bank.

Let's start from the top, after LEGENDARY guitarist Adam Jones played the National Anthem, we were treated to a surprise match. Miz came out, doing his best dime store Rock impression. I like Miz a lot, but c'mon son, you're better than that. That elicited R-Truth, which then elicited Alberto del Rio, and boom, there was team #1 for the six man tag. The faces, John Morrison, Kofi Kingston and Rey Mysterio came out with no real promos or frills. That's how I'd describe this match, at least for the first part of it. There was good tag team work from both squads, which leads me to believe that there's good potential for a tag division if WWE would get their heads out of their asses to build one and not wait for the Kings of Wrestling to magically save them. Oh well.

Anyway, there was a really good bit of cohesive spot-fu here by Kingston and Morrison against their heel counterparts, mainly Miz. The Awesome One tried a hair pull takedown on that hippie Morrison, but JoMo countered with a mock Pele kick. At another point, Miz and Kingston were tangled together, with the former going for his Skull Crushing Finale and the latter segueing into the SOS for a two count. The end sequence probably had the biggest firework display from Kingston of them all. Mysterio went for a double 619 attempt on Miz and Truth, but Miz slipped away, leaving Truth to take the brunt of the kicks. Thinking he was home free, Miz turned around only to see Kingston leaping at him from the top rope to the outside of the ring with a splash. When I tell you that Kofi got mad air on this splash, the guy got MAD FUCKING AIR. Rey finished off Truth in the ring with what friend of TWB and fellow PPV-watcher Jesse Draham termed the "tadpole splash", and the PPV got started off with a high note.

Between matches, we got our first Punk sighting of the night, sarcastically acquiescing to John "Funkhauser" Laurinitis' request for an apology, and encountering Stephanie McMahon for the first time since he called her idiotic in Vegas. She wished him luck, although Punk was skeptical. Afterwards, she offered her hand, but Punk "knew where it's been" and refused. Awesome segment. Seriously, there is no better all-around performer in all of wrestling right now than Punk. Steph was tolerable here too. I'd say if she didn't shriek and took more of a neutral character like her husband is right now, then I wouldn't mind her back on WWE TV on an occasional basis. Yes, I just wrote that. No, I don't know why you're all coming at me with pitchforks and torches. Was it something I said?

The second match of the evening was HOSS FIGHT 2K11, aka Mark Henry vs. Sheamus, and it was probably my second favorite match on the card. When you get two big guys in the ring like that, the tendency is for slow, plodding and boring. I think with Sheamus in there, you get a new breed of big guy. He's so much crisper, so much stiffer-looking and has an agility that most guys his size don't possess. Henry's got athletic qualities too, even if they're more understated.

That's why this match worked. Sheamus clubbed hard with his strikes, and Henry moved around the ring, acquitting himself just fine. There was one point in the match where Sheamus was resting over the second rope in the classic 619 position, and Henry charged in like a locomotive at full steam, leaping in a Big Bossman-style hip attack, only he went through the ropes and to the floor. Christ, it was a mean looking attack. Sheamus looked the part of a mold-breaking wrestler, showing his strength at one point breaking out of a Canadian backbreaker by Henry by ripping his arms apart, and then his agility at another, flying from the top with a big shoulderblock. The finish of the match is what made it for me though. It was a countout, but it was such a well-done count out and one that made so much sense that I feel like it was the only right way to go. The two were brawling around on the outside when Henry scooped up Sheamus, slammed him against the ringpost and then barreled through the guardrail, busting a giant hole through it, leaving Sheamus in the wreckage. Henry struggled back to the ring, but Sheamus couldn't answer the bell and was counted out. See, that's the kind of countout finish I can dig. The visual of the rail breaking open was way cool, and it would make sense that an impact that broke steel, padding and other hard materials would take Sheamus out for at least 10 seconds.

While I was left with a positive imprint of the PPV to this point and for the most part thereafter, SummerSlam was not without its glaring flaws, and they all seemed to be compressed within the 20 or so minutes between HOSS FIGHT and the Divas Championship match. The sequence went as such where there was a commercial for a fucking movie, Cee-Lo Green performing and then ANOTHER commercial, this time for Slim Jim. First off, I pay $44.99 plus taxes and fees so that I get wrestling, resolution, banter and the occasional WWE hype piece. The reason for the payment is so that I, and everyone else, aren't bogged the fuck down by idiotic commercials made by terrible companies with terrible ad departments (for the most part). If you're going to have advertisements during PPV, then for Christ's sake, don't charge $45-$55+ per buy.

Secondly, and I'm going to try and be as fair to this as possible because he wasn't terrible, but I think Cee-Lo's performance here is the big reason why televised wrestling and live music don't mix. Again, he wasn't bad, and I realize that the wrestlers all marked out like schoolchildren to have him there. Punk, William Regal and several other wrestlers Tweeted things about how awesome it was to have him there. In theory, the live crowd probably should have dug him too. However, there are a lot of things that work for a live crowd that don't play off well for the audience at home. Dance-offs on RAW fall in this category. Talent shows are another. Singers performing stand-alone at a wrestling event? They definitely fall into this category.

The strange thing was though, the live crowd didn't even eat this up. Even during its deadest during the matches, they were still able to generate some buzz for each match. Aside from the random lip-syncing girl in the crowd they panned to, no one really seemed to be into Cee-Lo. It's a shame, because he's a higher caliber performer than, say, the Chris Warren band or even Kid Rock (whom I think with his last album or two has turned into an alright singer, but he definitely appeals to a wrestling crowd more than Cee-Lo). And I kinda dug him. But at the same time, it didn't feel right to me, and I'm not sure I was the only one who felt this way.

The Divas Championship, as I mentioned before, was next, but a funny thing happened. It wasn't a murderific squishy-squash, but it wasn't terrible either. Either Kelly Kelly got better by osmosis of being in there with Beth Phoenix, or maybe Kelly just needed more of a stage and a better opponent than, say, Brie Bella, to ply her wares. I don't know, but this was actually bordering on a good match. A lot of it had to do with Phoenix openly mocking Kelly's moves, especially the stink face, which I thought was a great bit of dickery. A lot of it had to with Kelly's bumping, it being really the only thing she does well. I thought the flash pin coming out of the way-too-long setup for the Glama-Slam was a really good finish too. I don't think this was meant to be the finish to the feud, and with it starting a couple of weeks prior, I didn't think it should have been either.

Back to the back, Stephanie was shown coming out of Cena's locker room to throw in a bit more drama. Then, another commercial. ANOTHER FUCKING COMMERCIAL GAWD ASDFKASfda;sdfh... this time, that godawful Twix spot with the two cops singing the theme song from Mannequin. At this point, I thought we'd see a commercial for Suits or In Plain Sight or whatever other formula drama USA Network was coming out with next.

Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett would be the next match, and it was a fine match indeed. Then again, it's Daniel Bryan. He could have wrestled Moppy to an adequate at least match, and Wade Barrett is hardly Moppy. I don't know if I was the only one who picked up on this or not, but towards the beginning of the match, it felt like both guys were channeling the World of Sport and Johnny Saint with the escapes and the grappling sequences. As someone whose memory is still fresh with Chikarasaurus Rex and the wonderment of Saint, Johnny Kidd, Colt Cabana and Mike Quackenbush, I thought that was a great little sequence, almost an Easter egg for folks like me who are familiar with the style.

It was clear that Barrett, who still needs some seasoning to me, had a great rapport with Bryan last night, but again, it's Bryan. Still, some guys look better in there with the erstwhile Best in the World, and this has been the best Barrett has looked ever in a WWE ring. It was the little things, really, like his almost seamless reaction to Bryan's matrix-in-the-corner escape into a waiting Black Hole Slam, or the fact that Bryan had to resort to crawling between Barrett's legs to escape him. I really liked his slingshot backbreaker too. It was innovative offense without really needing to make things complex. Obviously, Bryan brought his A-game too, but does he ever not come ready to dazzle? I loved the sequence out of the first Wasteland attempt where Bryan went from the guillotine choke into the LeBell Lock, into the KICKS~! after the rope break. Seriously, watching Bryan wrestle is the major perk of being a fan right here and right now.

I thought the finish was really well done too. You had Barrett in the corner, ready to take a Frankensteiner from the top, and then he just shoved Bryan onto the ropes. Crotching Bryan would have been good, but they went the extra mile by having Barrett clothesline Bryan off the ropes before going into Wasteland. Really slick match. I want to see more of this, and if Barrett is going to be in the main event without needing Money in the Bank, then he really should work more with Bryan so he can get a bit of a shine on him. They got del Rio acclimatized to WWE by having him work with Mysterio, so why not let it work with another guy they have big plans for?

The World Heavyweight Championship NO HOLDS BARRED match was next on the docket, and Christian had some words for Randy Orton. He brought out his insurance policy, Edge, who got a pretty decent pop. There was a love-in at first, but then Edge started berating Christian for his whiny behavior as of late. Anticipating the swerve with promo swerve... it was so meta. A lot of people thought this was the match of the night, and I'm not going to sit here and say that it wasn't a good garbage brawl. It was. I enjoyed a lot of it, but at the same time, parts felt needlessly excessive, and I didn't feel like Orton took enough big bumps to really put the match in doubt. I mean, three tables were broken. All three of them had Christian going through them. Yeah, Orton took a few Kendo stick shots, but at the same time, he dished out a bunch of them too. The Con-Chair-To was foiled. Christian took the stump DDT on the trashcan, the flip onto the steel steps on the outside and the big finish with the RKO on the steps. Orton really came out of the match unscathed.

Now, I'm not one to harp on a guy looking stronger than the other guy because that's pedantic and I fucking hate when people judge their enjoyment of a match based on parity. That being said, the story didn't draw me in nearly as much as it might have if Orton's health and well-being was put into jeopardy more than just taking a random Kendo shot or the Killswitch. People complain about John Cena being SUPERCENA, but Orton as the destroyer of worlds doesn't draw me in all that much. Remember when I talked about vulnerability being key for a good performer? Orton didn't put that vibe out for me, and he really hasn't for a good long time now. So yeah, he'll have good matches, even great ones, but it's times like these where he really hampers himself with the lack of big spots he takes. The no-DQ match was a perfect place for Orton to show that he could really generate something more than a pop for his RKO. He didn't. That's why this, for me, was maybe my fourth favorite match on the card rather than my favorite.

And now, after a shot with Stephanie giving Trips a good luck smooch, it was time for the main event. This is the match that is going to be dissected the most by everyone who watched and even those who didn't care to tune in at all. Cena and Punk had a very, very tough act to follow, but I thought that if any two guys in WWE right now were up to the task whose names weren't Bryan, it was these two. I thought Cena's entrance was really cool in turning to the camera and waxing about how this was the arena where it all got started for him. I thought it was really cool. The crowd, which was on the quiet side most of the night (although they were hot for certain guys, more on that later), came alive for this match, going into the "LET'S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS" routine every chance they could. It was so weird, there were barely any "CM PUNK!" chants, although he got a lot of the positive cheers for things he did. It was almost like this match was a referendum on Cena more than anything else. Something to chew on.

Anyway, the match at the beginning felt like it was your standard feeling-out process. Lots of headlocks and whips, strikes and rope-runs. Actually, I felt like most of the story revolved around how evenly matched the two were, even as they went deeper into the match. Case in point, Cena went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, and Punk, like he did at Money in the Bank, went to kick Cena in the head. Cena, knowing that the counter was coming, blocked it and segued into the STF. That was brilliant storytelling. That was brilliant wrestling. That set off a stretch where guys were countering and countering and countering some more with some damn good submission wrestling from both men until Punk, while in the Crippler Crossface (!), gained the ropes.

The moment of the match for me came when Punk hit his plancha to the outside. This was the only spot in the match where Triple H stood out to me, and it was for the right reasons. Punk nailed Cena with his suicide dive, and then there was a double countout tease, mainly because Punk hit his face flush against the rail. Trips got to 9, and then said "fuck it". He decided he wasn't going to let the match end on a BS double countout, so he fetched both Cena and Punk. This interjection was positive because it ensured we were going to get a true winner. Trips got involved, yeah, but it was in a way that put the other guys over, put the match over. I dug it a lot.

From there, we went into a prolonged sequence of finishers and big spots. Punk and Cena traded strikes in BOO!/YAY! crowd reaction format. Punk got a majority of the YAY! cheers. There were a bunch of AA teases, a few GTS teases. Each guy kicked out of each other's finisher. At one point, Cena slickly countered Punk's springboard dive into a STF, something that I didn't think could be humanly possible. Punk elicited a "Randy Savage!" chant with a flying elbow from the top. Then, Punk just started laying into Cena, getting a buisaku knee to the gut, a few more kicks and a second GTS for the pin. Cena got his foot on the ropes, yes, which I thought at the time would be the source of controversy going forward, but Trips shrugged it off. Punk won, and all was right with the world. Hell, he even refused to shake Triple H's hand. SummerSlam would end with a happy ending...

...but then Kevin Nash came out of the crowd and all hell broke loose. A clothesline and a Jackknife powerbomb later, and Alberto del Rio comes in to cash his briefcase with a glimmering warlock and the 1-2-3.

This is the point of contention where most people will bicker as to the worth of this event. Personally, I loved it, and I'll tell you why. One, Nash's involvement, and then Triple H's bewilderment over it, gives the ending so much doubt and so many directions where they can go. Nash and Trips have a long history, and not just in character either. In fact, I'm not sure how far back their in-ring characters go. This was very much a wink-nudge moment that this top story has been built upon ever since Punk sat Indian style on top of the stage in Las Vegas and "spoke his mind". Secondly, it preserves both Punk and Cena as three-dimensional, rootable characters and gives an external villain for either of them to chase. Thirdly, it allowed for Triple H to have a moment at the end of the event without overshadowing anything. Fourth, it was genuinely shocking and at the same time, it still felt fresh.

All in all, I thought this show was a GREAT SUCCESS. It had its problems - the commercials and having Stephanie McMahon there almost superfluously being the worst - and it didn't really have that special atmosphere that Money in the Bank did (but then again, that's a minor quibble since MitB '11 is in at least the top five if not top three WWE shows since 1996). That being said, there really were not patently offensively bad matches, there were some great moments, and I thought the end, though admittedly polarizing, was memorable and sets up so many great options for storytelling going forward. Yeah, maybe Punk winning should have gotten more breathing room, but then again, he got his super happy ending in Chicago. I don't want to see CM Punk's super hot resolutions lose their specialness right away, y'know? That's why I'm more than okay with SummerSlam and its end. This caps off what has been an amazing summer for the Worldwide Leader in Sports Entertainment, and I'll be awaiting RAW tonight with baited bated breath.

Colt Cabana Works Smackdown Dark Match

BOOM BOOM!

Via @ukandrew on Twitter

Colt Cabana has worked in a dark match before tonight's NXT/Smackdown tapings. He wrestled against Wade Barrett, which Barrett won. He was announced as Colt Cabana, and there was an audible chant for him after the match was over.

I honestly don't want to read too much into this at all. I don't want to get my hopes up. Conversely, COLT CABANA WORKED A MATCH AT A REAL LIVE WWE EVENT AS COLT CABANA! Holy shit, this is exciting, even if we don't know what exactly is going to come from it. Hopefully, something comes out of this, because Colt on a WWE TV show would be a win, especially if the winds of change really are blowing.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

This Week in DVR: I'm a Good Guy Now, Fella

It's a fellabration!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I watched what I couldn't watch live on my DVR and the Internet this week. Here's what stood out:

Matches

Colt Cabana vs. Joey Ryan on NWA Hollywood - Solid main event with a lot of good storytelling vis a vis Adam Pearce as the guest ref. I thought some of the TV editing cut off a good bit of this, going to commercial when Cabana was shoving Pearce. There was one flubbed spot on Cabana doing the Asai moonsault (which I can't criticize too badly because it was COLT CABANA DOING AN ASAI MOONSAULT), but the action was really good throughout. Some great brawling, and nice showboating tactics from Ryan. The DQ finish left me a little flat, but it was still a decent match.

Heath Slater vs. Trent Baretta on Superstars - Wow, who knew Heath Slater could work? Maybe he didn't get as much of a stage to shine as well as he did in this match, or maybe he did some overtime in FCW, learning from guys like William Regal and Big Dust. Either way, wow, what a match. Slater brought it on offense, which is good, because it's the first time I've been impressed with him when he was bringing the heat, and the first time I've been impressed with him overall since WrestleMania:

That will never get old. Ever. I think where I started to feel this match most was when Baretta ran to the corner and anticipated Slater coming in behind him. He did a leapfrog, but Slater just sidestepped him and kicked him in the gut. Really clever spot. I like his spinebuster too. Baretta was a great opponent for him too, because the former Dudebuster bumps well and has such reckless abandon. He's a great nouveau-style jobber. Solid finish with a good sequence in the corner going to Baretta whiffing on a corkscrew and Slater dropping him with an inverted DDT. Really good stuff.

Chris Masters and Santino Marella vs. Michael McGillicutty and David Otunga, non-title, on Superstars - No, it's not a typo. Otunga has made the honor roll. I think that's a credit to WWE that they've found a role where they can hide his deficiencies well and put him with a guy who can carry the load, even if McGillicutty is a little green himself. Of course, playing off two of the best workers in the company will do a lot to help that along as well. Masters didn't spend a lot of time in the match, but that's okay, because how about Santino? The more I see him, the more impressed I get with him as a total package guy in the ring. He just plays the crowd so well, and his expressions and bantering in the ring is second to none. He even has some cool moves, like that spinning fireman's carry takeover he did earlier in the match. I thought it was good tag fare.

Shows

NWA Hollywood - Okay show this week. The undercard stuff was underwhelming but alright, excepting the blindfold match. I really don't think it's possible to do a good blindfold match, to be honest. The main event stuff was well done, and this Erik Watts guy has a real good look. Very imposing. The injury angle with Cabana getting spike piledriven was okay, and I'm guessing they'll push him and Pearce as two guys with neck injuries going forward.

Superstars - Another really good show this week... baaaaaht, chu already knew that. It looked like they went with all extended length matches, which is good, because it lends itself to some good action. I thought that the first two matches were really good, and the main event between Jack Swagger and Alex Riley was just okay though. Riley is still really green, although he has some promise. When he learns how to work some basic psych into his matches, he'll be a lot better, but I pray to God that he ditches that awful "grenade" spot. Let's just forget for a second that Chuck Taylor's introduction of imaginary grenades into wrestling matches is so sublime that it renders anything else, imitation or not, just the very definition of moot. The gesticulations involved with Riley's grenade are just too drawn out and bad. And this is coming from someone who grins and bears it every time Cena goes into a Five Knuckle Shuffle. That grenade makes the FKS look like the People's Elbow and the People's Elbow look like a tombstone piledriver.

Impact - The show was mostly based on "Joker" Sting, Immortal and Kurt Angle as characters, centered around obtaining "stroke" and using the Network to engage in a power struggle. So therefore, I didn't much care for this week's Impact. About the only thing that was really enjoyable to me was the promo segment with Alex Shelley, Brian Kendrick and Austin Aries, but you probably already knew that.

Smackdown - Decent show with underwhelming wrestling. Triple H's segment to start was okay, not as good as Monday's. I liked seeing more Zack Ryder, but I hope this doesn't mean he's not wrestling anymore. The out-of-ring segments were stronger than the matches on the whole, especially the ones involving Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett and the confrontation between Mark Henry and Sheamus. I like that Sheamus is going face too. People have been sporadically cheering him for a year or so, and I really look forward to a series of slugfests between those two big hosses.

It's Physically Impossible for Me to Hate Triple H Anymore

Brought to you by The Game
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Okay, so by now, you know I have a source close to a wrestler whose former ring name rhymes with Clamerican Bragon who's kinda plugged into things backstage in WWE. For reasons that I don't want to get him or BD in trouble, I can't name names. Obviously. I'm putting this disclaimer here because I don't want to be just like all the other "dirtsheets" who quote nebulous sources within the company when they report on these kinds of things. This is as much of a primary source as you're going to get.

Yeah, so Daniel Bryan won Money in the Bank, leading into an epic angle for tonight and, along with Sin Cara getting drug-suspended, lending credence to the idea that WWE was going to start pushing guys based on their non-drug-use. That's not so much the case. Up until two hours before the event was slated to begin, Wade Barrett was slated to take the briefcase. At the last minute, as the writers and agents are wont to do, they changed their minds, deciding that RED BELLY was over enough to garner "legit" title shots in the coming months.

Jamie Noble spoke up when the finish was being decided and suggested Bryan. Vince McMahon, showing the side of him that keeps barking at Michael Cole to run down AmDrag for his dorkiness, basically asked why he would make the small, pale nerd a contender? He then went on to boast that he could make Heath Slater a star by doing the same thing.

Bryan then got a big vote of confidence from Triple H, who said "Then why not do it for Bryan?" Vince backed down, and Bryan won.

Aside from being a classic example of the lack of preparedness and utter chaos in booking meetings and such, this gives me a very warm, fuzzy feeling about the future of WWE, at least from the creative side, with Trips in charge. It doesn't particularly surprise me that he'd rush to Bryan's side though. For one, Bryan got his start with Shawn Michaels. Two, Trips has been in the ring for almost twenty years.

So yeah my fellow nerds, I think it's time to put aside our grudge for Triple H for burying our favorites earlier. I think he's gonna turn out good.

Wrestling Oddsmakers: Smackdown's Money in the Bank Match

Your next Smackdown briefcase holder?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

See the RAW odds here

Okay, so I'm a bit late on handicapping the Smackdown MitB match. The field was announced a couple of weeks ago and reinforced with an opening promo on this week's show. Here are the competitors:

• Cody Rhodes
• Daniel Bryan
• Heath Slater
• Justin Gabriel
• Kane
• Sheamus
• Sin Cara
• Wade Barrett

As with the RAW match, I'm going to handicap the odds for each guy to win this match. This one might be a little tougher to forecast, even though they're strongly, STRONGLY hinting at one among the field taking it.

Heath Slater
Odds: 300 to 1


Yeah, Slater's most likely there to make someone look good, like this:

That is to say, he won't be holding the briefcase.

Justin Gabriel
Odds: 250 to 1

I'd venture to guess that he has similar odds to his tag partner, but I think his might be better. Let's not kid ourselves. He's got a flair in the ring that can make crowds love him and cheer for him. All it'd take is one big spot off a ladder and he'd go from lukewarm heel to budding good guy in a matter of minutes. Now, that isn't to say that I think he's going to win, just that he has a slightly better shot than his partner.

Sin Cara
Odds: 75 to 1

There's a lot riding on Cara right now, as he's Trips' first big signing and the heir apparent to Rey Mysterio as the key to the Mexican audience. That being said, with the visible problems he's having adapting to the WWE style, I doubt they'll give him the ball this early. Like Gabriel, he'll provide some fireworks. He'll probably get a good tease to win too, but I doubt he gets the briefcase this early in his WWE career.

Daniel Bryan
Odds: 60 to 1

Don't get me wrong, I'll be rooting hard for the American Dragon to get the briefcase. Him being in a World Championship match anywhere, any time would be just surreal as it would be markout-inducing. I also think he'll get to World Title level one day. I think they have some faith in him, or else he wouldn't be on the show each week in a meaningful program. That being said, I think we have to be real here. His time, whether as a built up contender or as a flash title grabber, isn't now.

Kane
Odds: 15 to 1

Kane won last year in a match where I'd probably have given him similar odds. His cash-in was a cool moment too. I think he's in the same spot now, although maybe I'd give him worse odds since he doesn't have Undertaker coming back soon to necessitate that he has a title (even though Taker has been above titles for a long time, but hey, whatever). I'd like to say they won't briefcase him two years in a row, but then again, there are so very few reliable hands on the Smackdown side and if they go Alberto del Rio on RAW, they may want to counter that newness with a guy who's been there before.

Cody Rhodes
Odds: 10 to 1

In about a year, Cody Rhodes has gone from Dashing to dynamite. Extending that to two years, he went from job absorber to having his own job absorber. Amazing journey for the younger son of Big Dust. While Wrestling Theory may argue he doesn't need and shouldn't get the shot, there's no doubt that he's on the cusp. The dark horse candidate of the eight.

Sheamus
Odds: 2 to 1

I'd put him in the favorite's spot, but they're telegraphing him to win. That usually means that he's being set up for the fall. The Celtic Warrior, who has been on fire in the last couple of weeks, has been to the top of the mountain before and would be a safe enough pick to win. Plus, he's got heat with both guys in the Smackdown main event. However, with Orton almost proclaiming him to win as a foregone conclusion, something tells me they might go in a different direction...

Wade Barrett
Odds: Even money

...and give RED BELLY the briefcase. They got really close to putting him through to the upper echelon last year by having him work with both Orton and John Cena. They're high on him, but this high? Well, if you look at the trends of who have won briefcases, things bode well for the former leader of Nexus. CM Punk's second briefcase came off him losing the Intercontinental Championship to JBL. Jack Swagger won his out of nowhere, being in a throwaway program around Royal Rumble with Santino before fading into the Superstar Zone between that time and WrestleMania. The Miz and Kane were both in the middle of big pushes, so they provide some sort of counterbalance to the trend. Either way, Barrett, coming off losing everything, now has a fresh start. Sheamus has heat with Christian and Orton and doesn't need the briefcase. Barrett? Right now, he needs an angle to cling to. That's why I feel like he's the favorite to win.

Kevin Kelly Tries to Go America All Over Everybody's Asses, Fails

Sheamus and Santino prove Kelly wrong
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Former WWE commentator and current ROH/Lucha Libre USA announcer Kevin Kelly raised some eyebrows about the viability of foreign-born/-billed wrestlers as draws in WWE. I guess he has a bug up his ass about Sheamus or Wade Barrett getting main event pushes, or maybe he's just xenophobic. I'm not going to FJM him, because K. Sawyer Paul did it first and probably did it better than I could. Damn these snazzy bloggers with their quick triggers on doing FJM to shitty journalism/opinion writing! I will, however, take another angle with Kelly. He claims that foreign stars will never be big in WWE or in any sport in America:

Hulk Hogan, Rock and Stone Cold are household names. Macho Man is too. John Cena is close but the WWE is not what it was a few years ago and as a result, Cena is not a true household name with the American casual fan. Kids, yes but not adults. Bret Hart is close too but he was on top when the business was in the toilet. Not his fault but while Bret is super-over with hardcore fans, the business climate from his time at the top knocks him down a peg.

Emphasis there is mine. Let's forget for a second that Andre the Giant was perhaps the greatest draw in the regional era of wrestling. Let's forget that Bruno Sammartino, Antonino Rocca, Eduoard Carpentier, Ivan Koloff, Nikita Koloff, the Great Muta, Davey Boy Smith and even Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio (who, even though were born in America, have strong Mexican roots and could almost be considered "foreign" if you stretch the definition enough) all were super over and either drew money here or helped other guys draw money despite either being born in another country or billed from another land. No, Kelly's argument is flawed right from get-go one.

It really doesn't matter what the fuck Americans think about these foreign guys to an extent.

Kelly mentions the WWE's global initiative in the first paragraph, and then ignores that it exists when he rails against the WWE pushing them dirty foreigners here in the States. That's a dangerously ignorant thing to do, especially given how popular the WWE is in other countries (and conversely, how unpopular MMA and UFC are in some of those other countries... given how much UFC cuts into the WWE's PPV market and other demographics here, that's not trivial). If you're a company trying to make inroads into Ireland, wouldn't you want U2 on your side? Yeah? Okay, so then why is the WWE stupid for pushing Sheamus when they're trying to struggle for a market share in Ireland? Same with Wade Barrett in Britain or Alberto del Rio, Rey Mysterio and now Sin Cara in Mexico or even Great Khali in India.

The truth is, the world is turning into a global marketplace. Local business is being drowned out by Internet commerce and the wide reach of companies trying to use new media, new technology and the burgeoning global infrastructure to capture more and more viewers in places they have never reached before. Couple that with human nature of wanting to identify with people who looked, spoke, acted and had the same culture as they do, and it's a no-brainer to try and tap into each lucrative market.

The WWE has been trying, and succeeding, at cultivating a truly international product, for longer than they've had Sheamus, Barrett and the like on their roster. Kelly denigrates Bret Hart's impact on the business in that blockquoted snippet. While it was true that Hart was on top during a downturn in American business, he was super popular to foreign audiences. You could argue that the international money that Hart brought in helped keep the then-WWF with the resources and revenue that kept them in the same ballpark as WCW was with their Turner-backing.

Hell, and if they get over with American audiences too, which if Kelly would take his head out of his xenophobic ass, he'd notice that they are, then it's gravy. Hell, look at the guys who get the loudest face reactions at any WWE show. John Cena is American, Rey Mysterio is a stylized Mexican and Santino Marella is billed from Calabria, Italy. Three superstars, three countries.

If Kevin Kelly has an axe to grind with WWE, he might as well go about doing so with a better argument, because this one is not rooted in fact or honesty. If he wants to spout that kind of jingoism, let him go on Fox News. It's not needed nor is it welcome in a place where we as wrestling fans not only embrace guys like Sheamus, Barrett, Mysterio and the like, but know full well that their place in the business side of things is very important as well, even if in a wholly hypothetical situation, my fellow Americans spend zero percent of their ticket to see anyone not billed as 100% American, something which has been proven to be patently false.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!