Instant Feedback: Bearded Giraffes

I didn't expect anything major to happen tonight, being that holiday RAWs rarely ever do anything. I was somewhat wrong, at least towards the beginning of the show, although the end reinforced the notion that nothing ever happens except for standard "faces win out" on these kinds of shows. I guess that's why I could palate John Cena standing tall over both Jack SWAGGAH and Alberto del Rio here. There would be plenty of time next week when more people presumably are watching to give del Rio some shine. Plus, the context surrounding the Swagger counter and tap was pretty good. In the main event, they managed to further one of my favorite stories, Dolph Ziggler and SWAGGAH's rivalry for the affections of Vickie Guerrero. del Rio, who was the other star of the show through his Sean O'Haire-esque backstage segments trying to rally troops to do his bidding for him, played into that as well, planting seeds into Ziggler's head about what Swagger's true intentions for Vickie were. Lost in the trailers for shitty movies and the Triple H/Kevin Nash/CM Punk top storyline spinning wheels, there's a really good midcard angle going on here.

That being said, when one top storyline is glossed over and the other gets the standard SuperCena Über Alles ending, it might seem like a terrible RAW. Let's look at the former now. The show started off with a lacking start, even though Punk did his best to save it. I thought he was much better actually wrestling, which people seem to discount because of the whole PIPEBOMB shtick. We know he's great on the mic, but when he gets people to care about a match with R-Truth that doesn't have a whole lot of context around it other than "Hey, he wrestled his tag partner last week", then that's mastery. I do like Punk's paranoia here concerning Trips' intentions towards Nash, but I think a lot of the peripheral stuff has come off pretty badly. One, the narrative still has Punk coming off as, well, a punk to some of the audience. Two, Trips putting his COO position on the line so soon into the narrative? Maybe I can dig it, but it feels too soon for me, even if I feel like the match itself isn't too soon. Third, if Nash is really gone (and with him getting in Funkhauser's limo in the second segment means he's not, more than likely), then it's been spinning wheels since his reintroduction at SummerSlam. Four, there is no four, only Zuul. Finally, the payoff that Nash was the one who sent the text was lame. Like, beyond lame. It pretty much insisted that he's a main player when he's not, and really, no one watching the show for the last three months buys that Trips, if he's a fair arbiter (and to their credit, he has been portrayed as such), is going to choose a guy who showed up, waltzed in and gave an ultimatum over the guy who has sold out a shit-ton of t-shirts and gotten Trips a lot of positive press, if we can blur the lines between kayfabe and "real" for a moment.

Also, I couldn't help but smile at the video package for Zack Ryder, and letting him get the win to a deafening pop was proof enough for me that the guy has arrived and that the fans do have a voice. When Michael Cole is ripping on a guy, you know they've arrived. Ryder's exuberance with Cena afterwards was really cool too, almost like it was as real as it was supposed to be part of the narrative. I really like a good success story. That being said, the pretense behind the match, that Lawler doesn't like David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty because they have "no charisma", is starting to grate on me. I think I see what all these people who think that "personality" is a funny thing to kayfabe feud over.

Also, the sooner they get Eve out of an active wrestler role, the better. Beth Phoenix may have flubbed the Glama-Slam, but she at least looks like a pro wrestler in there. Eve does not. I do find it funny though that they're using that Katie Raymond article as a talking point on TV. Again, K. Sawyer Paul is a guru at this kind of thing. Speaking of people who shouldn't be on camera? Jinder Mahal and Great Khali suck out loud in the ring. Not even Evan Bourne's masterful bumping could make them look good. Also, when Heath Slater and Randy Orton is a RAW match? Well, let's backtrack on that. It was a decent match. And I get the reasoning for it. However, it's something that might have been better suited for Superstars. Then again, what match would replace it? A Mark Henry squash? No better. Eh, I guess I can't complain, especially since Orton, I feel, has started becoming more comfortable wrestling as a good guy. I really like that he's actually setting up spots, especially his stump DDT, rather than, oops, guy's on the apron, let's drag him in and DDT him. Forcing the setup just looks cool.

But if we're going back to the wrestling, the main event tag match was as good a wrestling match as you'll get on a RAW main event. Just excellent pacing and storytelling all around. I liked the interplay between Ziggler and Swagger, the fact that Swagger got to attain beast mode early on, Sheamus taking out centuries of Irish frustration on the proxy for English oppression, Wade Barrett, and especially the spot where Christian's slap enraged Sheamus so much that it got both of them counted out. Really solid action for a show that was actually better than the impression I gave off on Twitter tonight. It was very much a holiday RAW, but it was a somewhat well-executed holiday RAW. It had its flaws, but I enjoyed it for the most part.

Future Endeavors 9/1 Power Poll: The Game Is King

Green Ant and Tadasuke tangling from King of Trios '10. They tangled again last week and both got rankings.

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Sergei Bo-Bro-vsky PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Triple H (Last Week: NR)
2. CM Punk (4)
3. Randy Orton (3)
4. John Cena (5)
5. Mark Henry (2)
6. Shemus (NR)
7. The Ghan-Am Connection (Kofi Kingston/Evan Bourne) (6)
8. Kevin Nash (9)
9. Sin Cara (NR)
10. The Awesome Truth (The Miz/R-Truth) (10)

NOTE: I refuse to use the name Air Boom. Brandon Stroud (who got the name actually from Dave Shoemaker and someone named @sweatingmullets... don't ask) had it right the first time.

And now, my ballot:

1. Tadasuke - For winning the Young Lions Cup and continuing to piss off the small, lonely people who have nothing better to do than populate Internet message boards and complain about wrestling in all its forms.

2. Mark Henry - Mark Henry, splitter of wigs, destroyer of worlds. My dream WrestleMania match is now Mark Henry vs. Galactus, which I'm sure Henry would win via World's Strongest Slam and the Death from Above Splash. BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING AWESOME THAT'S WHY SHUT UP.

3. CM Punk - Okay, so he did his best work of the week AFTER the ballot deadline. BFD. He should get ranked in perpetuity.

4. The Miz - Why just Miz and not Miz and R-Truth? Well, to be fair, Truth only came out to get mollywopped by CM Punk post-match.

5. Green Ant - Four wins in five matches, plus he got himself an article written about him by me. What do you mean circular logic?

6. Icarus - How could I vote for Icarus over Randy Orton? Because I can.

7. Sheamus - Fella.

8. John Cena - Y'know what I'd like to see? Cena vs. Icarus. Why? Fuck you, that's why.

9. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan ranking.

10. Drew McIntyre - Yeah, he lost his Superstars match against Bryan, but it was good. Plus, I feel bad for poor Drew. His improvement is inversely proportional to his push.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

From the A1 Message Boards: Me and Jerseyboy on the Money in the Bank Buyrate

Don't worry 'bout Punk
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Normally, I hate talking about things like buyrates and ratings. Like Jason Mann said, they're boring. However, sometimes, you get dragged into conversations with people who take those sorts of things seriously. In addition to my post on why I don't think they need to be taken seriously at Fair to Flair, I got into it a little bit at A1-Wrestling with the people reacting to ratings and getting a bit in a tizzy because ratings haven't shot up.

I posted the now-determined-to-be incorrect buyrate for Money in the Bank, which was actually really good, before I was corrected by poster and sometimes TWB commenter KoppoKick bringing up Meltzer's analysis of the sheets bringing the number down a bit. The correct number, 185K as compared to the erroneous number of 276K, was still pretty good, at least I thought. Here's the passage of three posts over there that I think dictates why, regardless of how "good" or "not good" the numbers are, why, again, we shouldn't really worry about the business side when it comes to what they're going to do on the side we SHOULD care about, i.e. the shows themselves. Two of my posts will sandwich one by poster and regular TWB commenter Jerseyboy, with whom I may disagree from time to time. Despite that, he really is smart when it comes to this kind of thing, and I'm glad he reads and comments.

Yes, this will be directly C&Ped from the A1 board, but I think it's worth sharing. At least I hope you think it's worth sharing.

Me:

[Referring to the discrepancy between the originally reported 276K and the real 185K] It just goes to show that wrestling journalism has a long way to go, and wrestling fans such as myself have a long way to go before trusting any of these sites. My bad.

That being said, 185K is still a good number.

Jerseyboy:

I agree. To me, it meant that Punk/Cena had some juice.

The big thing that people need to keep in mind is that if there's going to be business turnaround with Punk as the centerpiece, it isn't going to happen overnight. Again, the things to look at over the next 3-6 months aren't the TV ratings so much, but to see if there's a bump in PPV buyrates and house show attendance and merchandise sales. If Punk means something, that's where the initial bump's [sic] going to come from.

Of course, the WWE might look at ratings and a less than expected PPV number and decide Punk needs to be shunted back down the card. But I'm thinking at this point that they're pretty much out of options and will go all the way with him.

Because if you move Punk back to the mid-card, who do you move up in his place? Exactly.

Me again:

Yeah, I think you're right in that they won't move him back down for whatever reason. They're already seeing the initial bumps in merch. MitB was slightly up, from this time last year, which is still up. Ratings are ratings, but in the last two months, they've been mostly stable. Plus, as Triple H gets more influence, I think the decision making might turn more rational over the long term. I think Punk will be fine.

Normally, I don't care about this kind of thing, but I posted the number just to try and allay concerns (before I found out that I had bitten on a bad one, again, my fault there) that something that we found good was going to continue to pay dividends and that really, we should probably stop worrying about the business end of things. 10 million people watch the Jersey Shore. Is that a measurement of how enjoyable that program is going to be to you? Hardly. Therefore, why should it matter how many people consume wrestling if what the company is producing is good? And unlike Fatty, there really isn't a consensus on this angle being good or bad (although most people I interact with have loved the last two months with hiccups here and there).

If WWE was proving to be reactionary, then they wouldn't have put Punk over Cena at MitB, they wouldn't have put him over Cena again at SummerSlam, and they wouldn't have programmed him against someone who is so obviously hateable and polarizing the other way that everyone, not just the "Attitude Era holdovers", men and anti-Cena crowd, would cheer him. Say what you want about Nash and Punk being programmed against him, but again, the logic there isn't to bury Punk or put him out of mind. It's to get everyone to cheer the man, and it's a prelude into a potential feud with the boss. Whether you think Nash should have been the segue into that or whether you think that a boss/employee feud in 2011 is a good idea is one thing, but I think it's undeniable that Punk is a priority to WWE right now.

This is program #1 or at least #1a (with Cena/del Rio being #1). The moment that Punk gets thrown back to the Dolph Zigglers and Kanes of the world is when we start panicking, at least in my estimation. But again, I'll be utterly shocked if that happens. Call me myopic. Call me overly optimistic. Call me a "WWE fanboy" (like that means anything among adults in 2011, even if there wasn't a shitload of evidence to prove that I come down on what I feel is bad wrestling regardless of company) even. Just don't call me late for dinner. But I have a really good feeling about the direction of WWE right now, and when it's all said and done, I really feel like come WrestleMania time, CM Punk is going to be fully integrated into the main event firmament.

I think that's a passage worth relaying. Again, numbers are numbers, and even if they do affect what they put on the screen, you always have the option to vote with your own remote control and not watch. Life's not long enough to the point where worrying about the performance indicators of WWE is worth it.

Also, I encourage you, like I always have, to sign up for an account at A1-Wrestling and post there. It's a really good community with great discussion for wrestling and so much more.

Future Endeavors 8/24 Power Poll: ...BAAAAAHT Chu Already Knew That

TAKE THAT CAPITALIST AMERICAN PIG
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bro-nan the Bar-bro-nian (credit Vince Mancini of Film Drunk), PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Alberto Del Rio (Last Week: 1)
2. Mark Henry (NR)
3. Randy Orton (3)
4. CM Punk (2)
5. John Cena (4)
6. The Ghan-Am Connection (Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne) (credit: Brandon Stroud) (NR)
7. John Morrison (NR)
8. Daniel Bryan (8)
9. Kevin Nash (9)
10. The Awesome Truth (The Miz and R-Truth) (NR)

And now, my ballot!

1. Alberto del Rio - He makes the cross armbreaker look suave.

2. El Generico - Your 2011 Battle of Los Angeles winner. No word yet on whether he'll be entering any other events named after Rage against the Machine albums this year or not.

3. Mark Henry - He threw an Uso onto Booker T. OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO BE HERE.

4. CM Punk - Mostly for how stylishly he wore del Rio's scarf after the match.

5. John Cena - I would have docked him for openly exposing del Rio as a gimmick, but he won me over in the main event. Also, because I don't vote on this thing like I'm Bryan Alvarez with a log wedged up my ass about shit like that.

6. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan ranking.

7. Evan Bourne - America > Ghana, that's why

8. Kofi Kingston - But I guess Ghana's snazzy too.

9. Shawn Vexx - He beat Jerry Lynn in Texas this past weekend, and I quite enjoy it when young men beat the crap out of our senior citizens.

10. Arik Cannon - Defeated Steve Corino at the AAW main event this weekend. However, I'm not sure if he avoided the Thumb in the Bum, so I can't rank him any higher than 10th.

Instant Feedback: EAT SHIT LOGAN

So, did anyone else catch the not-so-PG sign in the crowd during the Alberto del Rio/John Morrison match? It made me giggle.

Anyway, yeah, the main event stuff tonight was hit or miss for me. Punk seemed off on his promo game tonight, but at the same time, you can't expect a guy to spit each week at the highest level. That being said, Punk at B+ is better than a lot of guys at their A+++ material, so it's okay. Here's what I liked about the main event angle. I loved the Cena/Punk match, up to the finish. I liked that Nash pulled a slick outsmarting move to get Triple H out of the building. What I didn't like? I didn't like the segment in the middle where Nash and Trips confronted each other. I didn't like the finish of the main event. It's not that Cena won at all. I think it's par for the course. Neither guy can seem to put the other away without help. I think it sets the stage for the ultimate showdown, maybe at Hell in the Cell. What I didn't like was the tired "distract the loser" finish with Nash distracting Punk. I feel like they do this too much. I'm in the middle on the opening segment. So yeah, there's that.

I also almost (and probably should have) fast forwarded through the Divas match completely (I started late because I was putting together a crib... FUN!). Also, Morrison has the worst strikes ever, really. He fooled me against Sheamus last year, but mostly because all he was doing were punches. Break anything else out and he sucks. Those lariats... good God, Stan Hansen in 2080 is rolling over in his grave every time Morrison breaks one of those out. And the Jack Swagger/Alex Riley match was subpar.

That being said, a lot of what went down tonight was fucking awesome. The Tag Pennies match was pretty good. Yes, I'm pretty high on the Nexus as a tag team, although I'm psyched that Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston have them the belts. Aside from the actual match, I'm excited about the prospect of either an alliance between Swagger and Dolph Ziggler or, where I want it to go, a feud where we'll get fucking awesome matches with a lot of amateur influence and great counters and I have to stop writing about it because I'll start fantasy booking and I don't want to do that right now because I'm tired.

The Miz/R-Truth dual promo was so, so, SO FUCKING AWESOME that I couldn't stop smiling. Both men proved they could hang with Punk in the blurring of the edge, and both guys just delivered. They're a perfect duo, with Truth bringing the absurdity and Miz being the intense straight man. Man, I want to see more of these guys.

So yeah, there were a few really big spots on RAW tonight, but it was an overall uneven episode. That being said, the main event narrative can't be awesome every week, but overall, I'm still on board.

Designed Hypocrisy: Does Cena's Promo at the End of RAW Have Deeper Meaning?

Was Cena's lack of perspective intentional Monday?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The final scene on RAW was indelible to say the least. Alberto del Rio locked his rival, Rey Mysterio, in the cross armbreaker after his successful title defense, and he would not let go. John Cena came to Mysterio's aid and then cut the angriest promo I've seen from him in the three years that I've been back watching. He looked pissed off, not because del Rio wronged him, but because del Rio wronged the Championship. He preyed on CM Punk moments after a hard fought victory and a sneak attack from Kevin Nash, and he didn't act honorably. On the surface, without any context, this makes sense. Cena's character is about hustle, loyalty and respect, and del Rio showed none.

The truth is, neither did Cena.

Go back to the RAW where Justin Roberts proclaimed "JEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHN CENA" as the new WWE Champion after defeating Mysterio. The diminutive San Diegan was wrestling in his fourth match in two weeks. He had wrestled a grueling match against The Miz, a former Champion himself, earlier in the program. The major difference between the two is that del Rio seized his own opportunity, while Cena had it handed to him by Triple H.

That may make all the difference in the world, but at the same time, refusing a title shot isn't really out of the realm of character for someone if the storyline called for it. Hell, CM Punk, the guy who was "wronged" by del Rio, forewent his rematch to chase Kevin Nash and try to uncover conspiracies that would keep him from attaining his deserved prize as "Best in the World". So, why couldn't Cena forego his title shot for one more week to get Mysterio at his best if that's the way he'd conveniently feel after seeing Punk get jobbed out of the title?

Some may point to internal inconsistencies, and I agree that with WWE Creative, as well as they've been doing lately, that's always a possibility. That being said, WWE Creative is doing pretty well for themselves lately, at least on the main event level, so maybe they do deserve some benefit of the doubt here. Maybe Cena's reaction was carefully planned to foreshadow a change in alignment.

Yes, the ultimate white whale of the Internet fan is a John Cena heel turn. Ever since he became a fan favorite, the cries have come it seems, and it always has seemed like a bad idea. He sold too much merch. He's too much of a house show draw. He gets too loud a reaction from the children, whereas no one else but the increasingly fragile Rey Mysterio would get. Plain and simple, it would have been bad business, even if it would have been better TV for folks who make up a small portion of the audience.

That being said, the appearance of Punk, and possibly even Miz, as suitors to the role of top hero make Cena as a bad guy increasingly tempting and viable. Of course, neither Miz nor Punk appeal to a family-oriented crowd as they stand right now, which to me would still call into question the wisdom of turning Cena heel. Having one kind of top hero, or appealing to only one audience, can be a good plan of action if you can clean up in that one area. That being said, if you can have versatility in direction, then why not try to aim for more than one demographic? Pixar has been doing this for years, loading up its movies with clever, adult-oriented humor that was well-hidden within the aimed-for-children stories and trappings.

But I'm not really here to judge whether it's a good idea, just to speculate as to whether this could be a deliberate shift in direction for Cena. One of the great parts about programming right now is that it's unpredictable. Just when you think you have the answers, they change the questions. Whether we'll see the same ol' Cena going forward or not is now more than ever not certain, and I think the promo on Monday, whether it telegraphs a change in character or not for Cena, was intentionally crafted that way to cause doubt, to bring more than just Cena, Punk and the McMahon-Helmsley ruling house into the, as David Shoemaker terms it, The Reality Era.

Future Endeavors 8/17 Power Poll: Quick Turnaround, This Time!

CHAMPION! ...baaaht, chu already knew that
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Khal Bro-go, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Alberto Del Rio (Last week: NR)
2. CM Punk (1)
3. Randy Orton (5)
4. John Cena (2)
5. Christian (3)
6. Cody Rhodes (NR)
7. Wade Barrett (NR)
8. Daniel Bryan (6)
9. Kevin Nash (NR)
10. Kelly Kelly (NR)

And now, my ballot!

1. Alberto del Rio - Who knew it'd take cashing in Money in the Bank, opening RAW with one of the swarthiest displays of cockery ever and having a legit Match of the Year candidate with Rey Mysterio to knock CM Punk from the top spot?

2. CM Punk - Any other week, "omg Kevin Nash? wtf, I thought he was dead lol" would have landed him at #1.

3. John Cena - He had a tremendous match at SummerSlam, got his foot on the ropes and then when TrollFace asked him "u mad?" he was all like "YEAH I REAL MAD!" In fact, he was way madder at Alberto del Rio for cashing in than the guy who ended up as his victim did.

4. Mark Henry - He won HOSS FIGHT 2K11, so he gets this spot. I'm pretty sure that what he did to Sheamus at the end of that match constituted a wig splitting, don't you think?

5. Jay Lethal - He caused an inception moment between me and Cameron Riley. Oh yeah, and won the ROH TV Title. But yeah, INCEPTION *BRAAAAAAAAHM*

6. Wade Barrett - RED BELLY got some of his mojo back with a win over Daniel Bryan in what was probably the finest match of his career. Yep, the funniest thing I have to say about this is the year-old meme that I created and am the only one to really use. THEY CAN'T ALL BE GOLD.

7. Kelly Kelly - She not only got through her match with Beth Phoenix without embarrassing herself or mortally wounding either herself or her opponent, but she actually looked good. Maybe next, she'll wrestle a 60 minute Iron Woman classic with Akira Hokuto at Differ Ariake? Okay, baby steps.

8. Jack Swagger - Deal with a sandbagging rookie and then afterwards, mack on some cougar action back stage? Pffft, NBD for the All-American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American American.

9. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan Ranking ®

10. Nigel McGuinness - He came back to ROH after being used up and spit out by Impact. If he had decapitated broadcast partner Kevin Kelly and put his head on a pike afterwards? He'd have gotten #3 easy.

CM Punk's Validation from... John Cena?

John Cena, WWE's narrator incarnate?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Last night's overrun did more than just provide groundwork for the Night of Champions WWE Championship match. When John Cena came out and lambasted Alberto del Rio for the way he gained the Championship at the end of SummerSlam, he did more than just wax hypocritically (I'll have more on that this week), he legitimized CM Punk as a top tier player.

Wait, what? Legitimized CM Punk? Yeah, he did. Words are powerful in wrestling, sometimes even moreso than the actions that will secretly speak to a wrestler's true intentions. That's why guys like The Rock could hold so much sway. When Cena spits fire like he did last night, he's in that elite category. So, when he told del Rio that he had no problem with the way Punk won the title from him last night, that was the biggest sign that hey, Punk now belongs and is worthy of your respect. Granted, a lot of people, namely, the men in the audience, already have given Punk their allegiance, but there are a lot of wrestlers who get support from the crowds who don't get it from management, so to speak.

For better or worse, Cena is part of the management now. It's not explicit, but if he gives you respect on camera, especially when it comes to a Championship that he seems to monopolize lately, then it's an explicit sign that you have made it and that people have faith in you. Granted, the fact that the show prior to the main event had heavy doses of Punk and Punk-related storytelling was another sign, and the fact that he's been the main focus of the main show for the last two months is another big sign. That being said, I look at Cena's stamp of approval to be the final part of his validation.

This is very important to remember when looking at his pattern of winning over the last couple of months. The more pedantic point of view would be to look at his wins and go, "HE ONLY WON AT MONEY IN THE BANK BECAUSE CENA WENT TO INTERCEPT SUPER DAVE OSBOURNE!" or "BAH! HIS WIN AT SUMMERSLAM WAS TAINTED BECAUSE CENA HAD HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES!" In a medium of entertainment where the finish can be everything, yeah, maybe I can see that as a lack of faith in Punk. However, when the Corporate Champion comes out and blatantly tells you not to pay attention to the finishes and instead pay attention to the body of work, then it's a big clue that the finishes aren't meant to be as analyzed as they're being and that yes, Punk belongs.

So that's something to chew on while Punk is away from the title to gain his revenge and to figure out who among the sleazy cast of corporate characters is going to be his Vince McMahon. Cena gave him validation, and whether you care about it or not, it's an important piece to the narrative.

Instant Feedback: OMG Kevin Nash WTF I Thought He Was Dead LOL

After Kevin Nash cost CM Punk the Undisputed WWE Championship last night, I know I was looking forward to the promo confrontation tonight. It had to happen. Nash was one of the savviest talkers in this sort of environment, and Punk, well, Punk's been proving it every week save one for the last two months. So yeah, I was a bit disappointed with the way Nash didn't show up. Punk ran circles around him, which is okay given that Punk makes everything alright, y'know?

That being said, I liked the way the segment played out. While Nash's delivery was rusty and his "shooty" material felt the most Russo-ish of the insider stuff, I thought nearly everything else surrounding it was interesting. Johnny Ace and Nash as cohorts was a wrinkle that I saw coming, but still welcomed. Stephanie's continued existence is troubling a bit, since I'm still unsure whether she can keep her raging ego in check, but it makes sense.

However, the undisputed star of this show was Alberto del Rio. His promo at the beginning (after shooing Triple H from the ring after a record low seven minutes of promo time) was amazing. People like to knock him for being one-dimensional or "comedic" or whatever, but he's a swarthy, cocky dickhead who just fulfilled his destiny. That gave his promo so much weight, and it was mollified by his awesome facial expressions and body language. One-dimensional? If he's like this in August 2012 or '13, maybe, but right now, he's still technically in his rookie year. It's his first act, and what a first act it's been.

His match with Rey Mysterio was great too. Man, those two don't have bad matches with each other. They really played up Mysterio's title history, and it really put an air of uncertainty on the match. Mysterio took a big bump across the guardrail, and then del Rio said "Heeeeeyy, I can do better!" and leaped out of the ring on a spill of his own. The finish was utter brilliance too. Mysterio landed a 619, making everyone think he was going to win, and then the counter to the Tadpole Splash (lol, love that call) was just the best way to end the match. Seriously, anyone who says WWE doesn't give you wrestling is full of shit.

The post-match stuff worked for me too. John Cena, although many could say that he was hypocritically (although could that be the point?), spat fire, and it was intense and effective.

Of course, RAW wasn't all peaches and cream. Specifically, the Riley/Swagger match segment was dreadful. Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler bickering didn't click for me (although I appreciated where it was going). Dumping on JR was lame. The match sucked, and yeah, Riley clearly sandbagged Swagger at the end. Credit to Swagger for handling it like a pro and still coming out looking all beast mode, but still, Riley is either a dick (not likely) or just showing how green he is still (more likely). I will say this; the finish of that match made me appreciate that they're maybe going for a Swagger/Ziggler feud in the near future with Swagger moving in on Vickie in the next segment.

All in all, a solid if unspectacular show. They still kept me interested, and the main event was boss though, so yeah, it was more win than loss for me.

Big Sexy Destiny: WWE SummerSlam 2011 Review

I did not see this one coming in the least, did you?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Personally, if you laid out all the finishes to SummerSlam that I thought would happen, I didn't think in a million years that Kevin Nash, acting apparently independently of Triple H, laying out CM Punk after he had questionably defeated John Cena to unify the titles to set up Alberto del Rio cashing in his Money in the Bank contract, would be the end game. Given all the agita that some folks on the Internet were giving themselves over this, the fact that Triple H's biggest impact in this match was him putting over the importance of having a title, i.e. putting Cena and Punk over his own supposed MO, should be the biggest relief in the world to those who thought he'd end up jizzing all over the ring, and I'm left feeling much easier about things going forward. With all that being said, SummerSlam was a damn fine PPV, and a fitting follow up to the white hot Money in the Bank.

Let's start from the top, after LEGENDARY guitarist Adam Jones played the National Anthem, we were treated to a surprise match. Miz came out, doing his best dime store Rock impression. I like Miz a lot, but c'mon son, you're better than that. That elicited R-Truth, which then elicited Alberto del Rio, and boom, there was team #1 for the six man tag. The faces, John Morrison, Kofi Kingston and Rey Mysterio came out with no real promos or frills. That's how I'd describe this match, at least for the first part of it. There was good tag team work from both squads, which leads me to believe that there's good potential for a tag division if WWE would get their heads out of their asses to build one and not wait for the Kings of Wrestling to magically save them. Oh well.

Anyway, there was a really good bit of cohesive spot-fu here by Kingston and Morrison against their heel counterparts, mainly Miz. The Awesome One tried a hair pull takedown on that hippie Morrison, but JoMo countered with a mock Pele kick. At another point, Miz and Kingston were tangled together, with the former going for his Skull Crushing Finale and the latter segueing into the SOS for a two count. The end sequence probably had the biggest firework display from Kingston of them all. Mysterio went for a double 619 attempt on Miz and Truth, but Miz slipped away, leaving Truth to take the brunt of the kicks. Thinking he was home free, Miz turned around only to see Kingston leaping at him from the top rope to the outside of the ring with a splash. When I tell you that Kofi got mad air on this splash, the guy got MAD FUCKING AIR. Rey finished off Truth in the ring with what friend of TWB and fellow PPV-watcher Jesse Draham termed the "tadpole splash", and the PPV got started off with a high note.

Between matches, we got our first Punk sighting of the night, sarcastically acquiescing to John "Funkhauser" Laurinitis' request for an apology, and encountering Stephanie McMahon for the first time since he called her idiotic in Vegas. She wished him luck, although Punk was skeptical. Afterwards, she offered her hand, but Punk "knew where it's been" and refused. Awesome segment. Seriously, there is no better all-around performer in all of wrestling right now than Punk. Steph was tolerable here too. I'd say if she didn't shriek and took more of a neutral character like her husband is right now, then I wouldn't mind her back on WWE TV on an occasional basis. Yes, I just wrote that. No, I don't know why you're all coming at me with pitchforks and torches. Was it something I said?

The second match of the evening was HOSS FIGHT 2K11, aka Mark Henry vs. Sheamus, and it was probably my second favorite match on the card. When you get two big guys in the ring like that, the tendency is for slow, plodding and boring. I think with Sheamus in there, you get a new breed of big guy. He's so much crisper, so much stiffer-looking and has an agility that most guys his size don't possess. Henry's got athletic qualities too, even if they're more understated.

That's why this match worked. Sheamus clubbed hard with his strikes, and Henry moved around the ring, acquitting himself just fine. There was one point in the match where Sheamus was resting over the second rope in the classic 619 position, and Henry charged in like a locomotive at full steam, leaping in a Big Bossman-style hip attack, only he went through the ropes and to the floor. Christ, it was a mean looking attack. Sheamus looked the part of a mold-breaking wrestler, showing his strength at one point breaking out of a Canadian backbreaker by Henry by ripping his arms apart, and then his agility at another, flying from the top with a big shoulderblock. The finish of the match is what made it for me though. It was a countout, but it was such a well-done count out and one that made so much sense that I feel like it was the only right way to go. The two were brawling around on the outside when Henry scooped up Sheamus, slammed him against the ringpost and then barreled through the guardrail, busting a giant hole through it, leaving Sheamus in the wreckage. Henry struggled back to the ring, but Sheamus couldn't answer the bell and was counted out. See, that's the kind of countout finish I can dig. The visual of the rail breaking open was way cool, and it would make sense that an impact that broke steel, padding and other hard materials would take Sheamus out for at least 10 seconds.

While I was left with a positive imprint of the PPV to this point and for the most part thereafter, SummerSlam was not without its glaring flaws, and they all seemed to be compressed within the 20 or so minutes between HOSS FIGHT and the Divas Championship match. The sequence went as such where there was a commercial for a fucking movie, Cee-Lo Green performing and then ANOTHER commercial, this time for Slim Jim. First off, I pay $44.99 plus taxes and fees so that I get wrestling, resolution, banter and the occasional WWE hype piece. The reason for the payment is so that I, and everyone else, aren't bogged the fuck down by idiotic commercials made by terrible companies with terrible ad departments (for the most part). If you're going to have advertisements during PPV, then for Christ's sake, don't charge $45-$55+ per buy.

Secondly, and I'm going to try and be as fair to this as possible because he wasn't terrible, but I think Cee-Lo's performance here is the big reason why televised wrestling and live music don't mix. Again, he wasn't bad, and I realize that the wrestlers all marked out like schoolchildren to have him there. Punk, William Regal and several other wrestlers Tweeted things about how awesome it was to have him there. In theory, the live crowd probably should have dug him too. However, there are a lot of things that work for a live crowd that don't play off well for the audience at home. Dance-offs on RAW fall in this category. Talent shows are another. Singers performing stand-alone at a wrestling event? They definitely fall into this category.

The strange thing was though, the live crowd didn't even eat this up. Even during its deadest during the matches, they were still able to generate some buzz for each match. Aside from the random lip-syncing girl in the crowd they panned to, no one really seemed to be into Cee-Lo. It's a shame, because he's a higher caliber performer than, say, the Chris Warren band or even Kid Rock (whom I think with his last album or two has turned into an alright singer, but he definitely appeals to a wrestling crowd more than Cee-Lo). And I kinda dug him. But at the same time, it didn't feel right to me, and I'm not sure I was the only one who felt this way.

The Divas Championship, as I mentioned before, was next, but a funny thing happened. It wasn't a murderific squishy-squash, but it wasn't terrible either. Either Kelly Kelly got better by osmosis of being in there with Beth Phoenix, or maybe Kelly just needed more of a stage and a better opponent than, say, Brie Bella, to ply her wares. I don't know, but this was actually bordering on a good match. A lot of it had to do with Phoenix openly mocking Kelly's moves, especially the stink face, which I thought was a great bit of dickery. A lot of it had to with Kelly's bumping, it being really the only thing she does well. I thought the flash pin coming out of the way-too-long setup for the Glama-Slam was a really good finish too. I don't think this was meant to be the finish to the feud, and with it starting a couple of weeks prior, I didn't think it should have been either.

Back to the back, Stephanie was shown coming out of Cena's locker room to throw in a bit more drama. Then, another commercial. ANOTHER FUCKING COMMERCIAL GAWD ASDFKASfda;sdfh... this time, that godawful Twix spot with the two cops singing the theme song from Mannequin. At this point, I thought we'd see a commercial for Suits or In Plain Sight or whatever other formula drama USA Network was coming out with next.

Daniel Bryan and Wade Barrett would be the next match, and it was a fine match indeed. Then again, it's Daniel Bryan. He could have wrestled Moppy to an adequate at least match, and Wade Barrett is hardly Moppy. I don't know if I was the only one who picked up on this or not, but towards the beginning of the match, it felt like both guys were channeling the World of Sport and Johnny Saint with the escapes and the grappling sequences. As someone whose memory is still fresh with Chikarasaurus Rex and the wonderment of Saint, Johnny Kidd, Colt Cabana and Mike Quackenbush, I thought that was a great little sequence, almost an Easter egg for folks like me who are familiar with the style.

It was clear that Barrett, who still needs some seasoning to me, had a great rapport with Bryan last night, but again, it's Bryan. Still, some guys look better in there with the erstwhile Best in the World, and this has been the best Barrett has looked ever in a WWE ring. It was the little things, really, like his almost seamless reaction to Bryan's matrix-in-the-corner escape into a waiting Black Hole Slam, or the fact that Bryan had to resort to crawling between Barrett's legs to escape him. I really liked his slingshot backbreaker too. It was innovative offense without really needing to make things complex. Obviously, Bryan brought his A-game too, but does he ever not come ready to dazzle? I loved the sequence out of the first Wasteland attempt where Bryan went from the guillotine choke into the LeBell Lock, into the KICKS~! after the rope break. Seriously, watching Bryan wrestle is the major perk of being a fan right here and right now.

I thought the finish was really well done too. You had Barrett in the corner, ready to take a Frankensteiner from the top, and then he just shoved Bryan onto the ropes. Crotching Bryan would have been good, but they went the extra mile by having Barrett clothesline Bryan off the ropes before going into Wasteland. Really slick match. I want to see more of this, and if Barrett is going to be in the main event without needing Money in the Bank, then he really should work more with Bryan so he can get a bit of a shine on him. They got del Rio acclimatized to WWE by having him work with Mysterio, so why not let it work with another guy they have big plans for?

The World Heavyweight Championship NO HOLDS BARRED match was next on the docket, and Christian had some words for Randy Orton. He brought out his insurance policy, Edge, who got a pretty decent pop. There was a love-in at first, but then Edge started berating Christian for his whiny behavior as of late. Anticipating the swerve with promo swerve... it was so meta. A lot of people thought this was the match of the night, and I'm not going to sit here and say that it wasn't a good garbage brawl. It was. I enjoyed a lot of it, but at the same time, parts felt needlessly excessive, and I didn't feel like Orton took enough big bumps to really put the match in doubt. I mean, three tables were broken. All three of them had Christian going through them. Yeah, Orton took a few Kendo stick shots, but at the same time, he dished out a bunch of them too. The Con-Chair-To was foiled. Christian took the stump DDT on the trashcan, the flip onto the steel steps on the outside and the big finish with the RKO on the steps. Orton really came out of the match unscathed.

Now, I'm not one to harp on a guy looking stronger than the other guy because that's pedantic and I fucking hate when people judge their enjoyment of a match based on parity. That being said, the story didn't draw me in nearly as much as it might have if Orton's health and well-being was put into jeopardy more than just taking a random Kendo shot or the Killswitch. People complain about John Cena being SUPERCENA, but Orton as the destroyer of worlds doesn't draw me in all that much. Remember when I talked about vulnerability being key for a good performer? Orton didn't put that vibe out for me, and he really hasn't for a good long time now. So yeah, he'll have good matches, even great ones, but it's times like these where he really hampers himself with the lack of big spots he takes. The no-DQ match was a perfect place for Orton to show that he could really generate something more than a pop for his RKO. He didn't. That's why this, for me, was maybe my fourth favorite match on the card rather than my favorite.

And now, after a shot with Stephanie giving Trips a good luck smooch, it was time for the main event. This is the match that is going to be dissected the most by everyone who watched and even those who didn't care to tune in at all. Cena and Punk had a very, very tough act to follow, but I thought that if any two guys in WWE right now were up to the task whose names weren't Bryan, it was these two. I thought Cena's entrance was really cool in turning to the camera and waxing about how this was the arena where it all got started for him. I thought it was really cool. The crowd, which was on the quiet side most of the night (although they were hot for certain guys, more on that later), came alive for this match, going into the "LET'S GO CENA/CENA SUCKS" routine every chance they could. It was so weird, there were barely any "CM PUNK!" chants, although he got a lot of the positive cheers for things he did. It was almost like this match was a referendum on Cena more than anything else. Something to chew on.

Anyway, the match at the beginning felt like it was your standard feeling-out process. Lots of headlocks and whips, strikes and rope-runs. Actually, I felt like most of the story revolved around how evenly matched the two were, even as they went deeper into the match. Case in point, Cena went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, and Punk, like he did at Money in the Bank, went to kick Cena in the head. Cena, knowing that the counter was coming, blocked it and segued into the STF. That was brilliant storytelling. That was brilliant wrestling. That set off a stretch where guys were countering and countering and countering some more with some damn good submission wrestling from both men until Punk, while in the Crippler Crossface (!), gained the ropes.

The moment of the match for me came when Punk hit his plancha to the outside. This was the only spot in the match where Triple H stood out to me, and it was for the right reasons. Punk nailed Cena with his suicide dive, and then there was a double countout tease, mainly because Punk hit his face flush against the rail. Trips got to 9, and then said "fuck it". He decided he wasn't going to let the match end on a BS double countout, so he fetched both Cena and Punk. This interjection was positive because it ensured we were going to get a true winner. Trips got involved, yeah, but it was in a way that put the other guys over, put the match over. I dug it a lot.

From there, we went into a prolonged sequence of finishers and big spots. Punk and Cena traded strikes in BOO!/YAY! crowd reaction format. Punk got a majority of the YAY! cheers. There were a bunch of AA teases, a few GTS teases. Each guy kicked out of each other's finisher. At one point, Cena slickly countered Punk's springboard dive into a STF, something that I didn't think could be humanly possible. Punk elicited a "Randy Savage!" chant with a flying elbow from the top. Then, Punk just started laying into Cena, getting a buisaku knee to the gut, a few more kicks and a second GTS for the pin. Cena got his foot on the ropes, yes, which I thought at the time would be the source of controversy going forward, but Trips shrugged it off. Punk won, and all was right with the world. Hell, he even refused to shake Triple H's hand. SummerSlam would end with a happy ending...

...but then Kevin Nash came out of the crowd and all hell broke loose. A clothesline and a Jackknife powerbomb later, and Alberto del Rio comes in to cash his briefcase with a glimmering warlock and the 1-2-3.

This is the point of contention where most people will bicker as to the worth of this event. Personally, I loved it, and I'll tell you why. One, Nash's involvement, and then Triple H's bewilderment over it, gives the ending so much doubt and so many directions where they can go. Nash and Trips have a long history, and not just in character either. In fact, I'm not sure how far back their in-ring characters go. This was very much a wink-nudge moment that this top story has been built upon ever since Punk sat Indian style on top of the stage in Las Vegas and "spoke his mind". Secondly, it preserves both Punk and Cena as three-dimensional, rootable characters and gives an external villain for either of them to chase. Thirdly, it allowed for Triple H to have a moment at the end of the event without overshadowing anything. Fourth, it was genuinely shocking and at the same time, it still felt fresh.

All in all, I thought this show was a GREAT SUCCESS. It had its problems - the commercials and having Stephanie McMahon there almost superfluously being the worst - and it didn't really have that special atmosphere that Money in the Bank did (but then again, that's a minor quibble since MitB '11 is in at least the top five if not top three WWE shows since 1996). That being said, there really were not patently offensively bad matches, there were some great moments, and I thought the end, though admittedly polarizing, was memorable and sets up so many great options for storytelling going forward. Yeah, maybe Punk winning should have gotten more breathing room, but then again, he got his super happy ending in Chicago. I don't want to see CM Punk's super hot resolutions lose their specialness right away, y'know? That's why I'm more than okay with SummerSlam and its end. This caps off what has been an amazing summer for the Worldwide Leader in Sports Entertainment, and I'll be awaiting RAW tonight with baited bated breath.

Future Endeavors 8/12 Power Poll: Punk. Cena. YEAH.

1, 2 and two corporate goons
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bro-dongo, PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. CM Punk (Last Week: 1)
2. John Cena (2)
3. Christian (3)
4. R-Truth (8)
5. The Miz (9)
6. Daniel Bryan (NR)
7. Sheamus (4)
8. Randy Orton (5)
9. Mark Henry (NR)
10. Kurt Angle (NR)

And now, my ballot:

1. CM Punk - Duh.

2. John Cena - Double duh.

3. The Miz - Channeling Bruiser Brody, the Tasmanian Devil and Jeff Gilooly, Miz set out to rid the world of Rey Mysterio, and he did, at least for Monday night. If wrestling were real, then I'd probably hire Miz to go and take out my foes. At least I'd know the job would get done right.

4. R-Truth - Little Jimmy origin story. Your argument is invalid.

5. Kurt Angle - Winning the Impact Wrestling World Championship and looking like the crazy dude who led the Heaven's Gate cult in the process got him here. If he ends up getting Bischoff, Russo, Dixie and Jarrett to drink some Kool-Aid and "head up on the spaceship", he'd get #1.

6. Mercedes Martinez - She went 73 minutes with Lexus, thus taking that phrase back from lesbian porn.

7. Brian Kendrick - He retained his X-Division Championship at Hardcore Justice. Sadly, I have no sarcastic entry for him.

8. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan ranking

9. Sheamus - I'm amped for his HOSS FIGHT at SummerSlam tomorrow. That doesn't explain why I ranked him, but yeah, I just thought I'd pass that along.

10. Lexus - The other competitor in that 73 minute match. In other news, I'm not sure that the combined time for WWE's Diva matches this year approaches 73 minutes yet, and she and Mercedes topped that in one match. Imagine that.

Triple H As the Sword of Damocles: WWE SummerSlam 2011 Preview

Who will stand tallest? If there's a God, it won't be the one with the microphone.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's weird.

The last time WWE has graced pay-per-view with its presence, it hit every note correctly. Every match was pitch perfect with the exception of the Divas Championship match. The right people won. The right decisions were made. Things looked like they'd be intriguing for awhile with everything that went down.

For the most part, SummerSlam still is intriguing, or at least it should be. Whether or not you felt CM Punk coming back after eight days was a good call or not, they've at least set the table for his match with Cena nicely in response to that. In a vacuum, SummerSlam, while not as highly anticipated as Money in the Bank was, still would look like a decent card on paper.

But then there's the Sword of Damocles hanging over that match, a huge insertion to the main event that has set several fans panicking. Despite the fact that I still remain hopeful despite there being no reason for me to remain hopeful, I can totally understand if people get scared with Triple H now being the special guest referee. There's a part of me that fears terribly that the man who stands tall when SummerSlam goes off the air won't be John Cena, won't be CM Punk, but will be the doofus son-in-law.

It's not just the history that I've been writing about this week in some regard. It's the recent shows where Trips' ego running wild has been a theme, whether overt or a bit muted. The opening segment to RAW this past week was a self-produced tribute to Trips, orchestrated by the man himself. The end segment, as beautiful and effective as it was, had Triple H butting his nose into the conversation and putting himself above Cena at one point. It's a scary time for folks like us who lived through is reign of terror as a wrestler, those who weren't in his fan camp and who didn't enjoy him going over our favorites, for whatever reason.

The thing is, Triple H in this match represents a zipper that could come undone and turn the entire new direction of WWE on its head to some people. If we get worried about Triple H exerting his will, then the play of Randy Orton decimating Christian in 5 minutes with no recourse whatsoever. That domino falls to knock over the Divas Championship match, where Kelly Kelly beats Beth Phoenix clean as a whistle with an ass-shaking stink face into an ass-shaking moonsault that's botched terribly with no discipline. That domino falls to have Wade Barrett defeat Daniel Bryan in three minutes, claiming his Money in the Bank briefcase in the process and having Michael Cole come in the ring and do a dance around the fallen "nerd". Then there's the domino of Sheamus and Mark Henry standing isolated in the middle, because hey, that's really the only sure thing on this PPV whether good or bad. Either you're a big fan of hosses pummeling each other or you're not. But if all of the other four scenarios play out the way they do, SummerSlam will serve as a scorched earth reminder that WWE really hasn't changed at all.

That being said, do I believe all of that will happen? Hell, I don't believe that any of that is going to happen very strongly. Why would WWE reverse direction so quickly, especially when a new regime is slowly taking over, letting the last two months play out the way they have with wrestling becoming more and more of the focus, letting Punk speak his mind, giving Christian a platform to work from that isn't "trusty sidekick" or "never-will-be". Hell, Triple H is the guy who spoke up loudest after Jamie Noble had the crazy idea that Bryan should win Smackdown's Money in the Bank match.

That being said, while I think this will be a step forward for WWE, even if it's a small one that seems like they've just ran in place, I still can't shake the feeling that Triple H is going to do something very terrible. The Sword of Damocles, naturally, is rooted a bit in paranoia. I've learned to recoil at the thought of trusting someone who's bitten me so many times before. So yeah, you'll have to forgive me if I speak out of both sides of my mouth on this one.

I don't know. I get the feeling that this year's Slam is going to be good. I really do. But this feeling of dread abounding, when in a vacuum, it shouldn't be there at all, is just disconcerting. Either way, it marks as a potential watershed moment for WWE. It'll be the point where we get a better idea if change really is afoot and we are in for very exciting times as wrestling fans, or whether the new boss is the same as the old boss.

And hey, if that gives the main event an extra added layer of unintentional tension, we might be talking about this for years to come like we will be Money in the Bank, especially if they shock us and actually do something that doesn't involve the thread on the Sword of Triplcles snapping, sending his long-nosed blade hurtling down at our heads in a terminal velocity of malaise and dissatisfaction.

The One Where TH Thinks Ricky Morton's First Name Is Robert

Direct link for your downloading pleasure

Episode 42 of the A1-Podcast, the official show of A1-Wrestling, is online. Obviously, I'm on it, but only for the first half, but it was a good first half. Me and the crew talk about RAW this past Monday as well as tag team wrestling, and at the end of my live segment, I rant about people ragging on John Cena for being "Superman" and then fawning over Shawn Michaels despite the fact that he also does the same things.

I also name Robert Morton as the best tag wrestler of all-time, despite there being no Robert Morton who ever wrestled. It was late and I was tired, but I now submit myself to take the Ricky Morton treatment from any two huge Rock 'n Roll Express fans. I also give a shout-out to Claudio Castagnoli, and in my pre-taped Sound Off! segment, I call Dave Lagana to the carpet for trying to glom Kevin Steen's heat. After I leave, the discussion continues about Hardcore Justice and PWO's Wrestlelution 4. Try and guess which one the panel liked more. Hint, it's not the show run by Impact Wrestling.

Give it a listen, subscribe on iTunes, and hey, visit the boards because it's a good place to talk wrestling. Or rasslin. Or both.

SummerSlam: Where Are the Matches?

The wisdom of the Philosoraptor applies to SummerSlam

SummerSlam is a scant four days away. WWE usually has anywhere between seven and ten matches for its pay-per-view events. Naturally, you'd think that they would have announced at least six of them by now, right, if not more? Yeah, about that. The SummerSlam microsite only has four matches announced. Granted, one of them is maybe the most important match in WWE this year in terms of shaping the future of the company, but at the same time, just as man cannot live on bread alone, I'm not sure you can entice people to order a PPV based on one hot main event alone. Even more glaringly, the other matches announced are Randy Orton vs. Christian, Sheamus vs. Mark Henry and Beth Phoenix vs. Kelly Kelly. The matches are listed in descending order of how much pizzazz they have in terms of getting folks who aren't raging wrestling dorks like myself to order. Which is to say, my guess is the amount of people who will order this based solely on the fact that Beth Phoenix is booked against Kelly Kelly wouldn't outnumber the people who voted for Mickey Mouse in the last Presidential election.

What's even more fascinating is the number of names that aren't booked for the card yet. Alberto del Rio, The Miz, Rey Mysterio, John Morrison, R-Truth, Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan and Dolph Ziggler, all to name a few, all are guys who could get people to buy, and yet, here we are with four days left, and none of them have announced matches. Furthermore, two matches that were suspected for the event were settled pretty definitively on RAW for varying reasons. Truth defeated Morrison clean as a whistle for unknown reasons, and Mysterio/Miz was probably postponed from the card because of ReyRey's knee tweak from this past weekend. Regardless, even if three of those four competitors make the card, there's a missed opportunity for getting people invested in what's going on during that three hour broadcast.

Contrary to popular belief, people rarely plunk down substantial money to see people appear at places with no defined role. Yeah, WrestleMania's big selling point was that The Rock was going to host, but I think we can agree that promising the biggest star from the last 10 years to appear after a seven year hiatus is way, way, way different a circumstance than promising that The Miz is going to be there when he's been around almost constantly for the last five years.

People want a reason to pay WWE money. The way you do that is through wrestling matches, not by promising appearances. There's a reason why the WWF had its biggest ratings offset from its biggest number of PPV buys by a couple of years. In 1998, they were all about guys just doing stuff, showing up and being unpredictable. That lends itself to TV because it's free, and you can easily change the channel from RAW for one ZOMG SHOCKING MOMENT to Jersey Shore for another without any real emotional investment. But the real fans? They're there because of the wrestling. In 2000, the WWF built towards wrestling matches through real feuds and the promise that one guy was going to kick the crap out of the other guy for what he did on television.

I won't sit here and get into a lecture on economics and say which model is better, because having a mix of both is a good thing. That being said, to use the Jersey Shore analogy, do you think that show would be nearly as successful if MTV made it a monthly PPV series and charged $60 a pop for it? If you say yes, then you greatly overestimate the public's supply and demand curve for shock television. When it's the cost of your cable bill, demand is high. When you have to pay a half-day's salary after taxes to watch it, demand is low.

Now, I could be wrong. Maybe the number of people ordering for Punk/Cena f/ Trips is going to be a rousing success. Maybe the number of people who order just because it's SummerSlam will be a big number. But I still would rather see my PPV events become places where the smorgasbord of wrestling is advertised beforehand so I know what I'm getting into and what I can look forward to.

That is, unless this is it, and we're getting four matches that'll all be 40+ minutes, which is tantalizing in its own way for two of them, iffy for one, and totally, mind-blowingly horrific for the Divas affair, unless at the last minute Kelly Kelly is subbed out for Nattie Neidhart, Sara del Rey or Kana. Then, 40 minutes would be a good goal, yeah?

CM Punk Gets People to React... That's a Good Thing

Punk gets some boos, but no one sits on their hands
Photo Credit: WWE.com

I keep hearing about CM Punk getting "mixed" reactions like it's a bad thing. On one hand, I can maybe understand it. The calibration factor for Punk's reactions did not set a reasonable baseline. His two biggest appearances after the Las Vegas double taping were in Boston and Chicago. One is a town known for its smarky cheering habits and the other is Punk's home town. No doubt Punk wasn't going to get anything less than a hero's welcome in either location.

So, when he started getting mixed reactions in Indianapolis and San Jose, it shouldn't have been much of a surprise. Those are two cities that are places where John Cena still gets a good fan favorite reaction. Honestly, they've done nothing to lessen the reactions among the people who would cheer Cena either. So it's natural that there would be some wavering in the cheers that Punk was getting. The key though is that he's getting reactions. People boo him if they're not cheering him (although judging from the reactions he got at least this past week, I'd say even in San Jose, more cheered than booed). If you're in charge, don't you want your guy to at least elicit some kind of reaction?

If WWE is looking for a traditional reaction here, they're going about it the wrong way. Neither Cena nor Punk are playing up a classic bad guy. The closest thing to a true heel in this scenario is the specter of Vince McMahon, who is represented by John Laurinitis, but even he's just peripheral at this point. They've cultivated a split crowd, and that's what they've gotten.

So the fact that the crowd reactions have been there is the thing to look at here. This is very much a successful storyline from the standpoint that people are reacting. The crowd split makes it unique. I hope that WWE doesn't try to consolidate the crowd like they did with Cena and The Rock after WrestleMania. It's a great dynamic, and it can lend itself to having two top good guys that can carry two top feuds. It can only be a good thing.

So the crowd reactions being mixed isn't bad. The fact that Punk gets people reacting should be the main story here.

OF COURSE CM Punk Was Involved in the Best Contract Signing Ever

Tense negotiations
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So did anyone else cringe when they announced a contract signing for the Undisputed WWE Championship match for SummerSlam? I did a little bit. Contract signings as a rule seem to follow a formula. Guys promo on each other, they sign the contract, then there's a pull-apart brawl. It's predictable, which in and of itself isn't a problem, but the execution is rarely ever done well. I can think of one contract signing off the top of my head that was done well enough to justify it, and it was the one between Batista and Rey Mysterio back in late 2009/early 2010 (I'm a bit fuzzy on when it happened). So yeah, the bar is set low to begin with.

Then last night happened, and of course CM Punk was at the epicenter of it. It's not like they deviated from the formula though. Punk and John Cena cut promos on each other, and at the end, there was a pull-apart brawl. It was all in the execution. Punk knows what buttons to push, and he has such a natural flair for working situations to get the maximum crowd reactions. It shone through again last night, with him defending himself from accusations from Triple H and Cena that he was the one who was the phony and continuing to tread the edge very finely, giving shout outs to Internet favorites such as Vladimir Kozlov₁ and Chris Masters (and Harry Smith, although really, he was never an Internet favorite and he was a guy who WANTED to leave to do MMA).

But let's not give credit to Punk alone here. Cena made this work as well. It wasn't just because he went meta either. I do admit though, Cena knowingly nodding to his detractors on the web was surreal, because you don't expect John Cena, Company Man, to mention terms like workrate or heel on camera. What I was more impressed with was again, his serious, moral hero delivery. When you combine that with Punk's voice for the voiceless narrative, you get something special.

I think the capper was that neither Cena nor Punk really came to blows with each other either. It was teased, but John Laurinitis and Triple H served purposes here other than to annoy the shit out of me. Well, Johnny Ace didn't do anything to annoy me, but Trips' interruptions were really uncalled for. But then again, maybe that's the point? Maybe it's foreshadowing a heel turn that will cement him fully as Mr. McMahon for a new generation? As much as his butting in was frustrating in the moment, I'm willing to give it a shot because hey, out of the last eight weeks in this feud, only one has been a dud, so maybe they're on the right track here.

So last night's final segment proved a couple of things to me. One is that the right talent can make even the most tired and lame-sounding of segments become must-see TV. Two is that the writers really are superfluous to the whole narrative. It's guys who know how to work crowds. It's Punk, Cena and to an extent, Triple H. That's where your bread and butter is.

1 - Am I playing fast and loose by calling Kozlov an Internet favorite? Maybe looking at everything macrohistorically, but at least in recent weeks, people have been gravitating around him from where I sit.

Instant Feedback: Triple H Is Solar Powered

Any momentum that was lost last week from the main angle was regained. Why did we have any doubt? Did we think the soul-sucking WWE machine could take CM Punk and rob him of his ability to entrance crowds? Turns out the answer to that is now. Punk, who got loud reactions from an iffy crowd all night, a crowd that faded in and out all night long, showed that he can curry interest for a wrestling match by opening his mouth, not by holding a belt up to new theme music.

And let's not take credit away from Cena. He went meta at one point, mentioning workrate in his nerdy voice, and that was great from a different standpoint, but the rest of his delivery showed him at his best. He needs to be the strong, moral, lawful good voice that counterbalances the Punk who's chaotic good persona draws in the male fans who like people who like to watch the world burn. The WWE could really be onto something if they cultivate a split fanbase and start exploring the fact that different wrestlers appeal to different demographics.

They'd also be wise to have Triple H play as much of a background role as possible. Of course, his forced star turn tonight couldn't come at a worse time in terms of selfish reasons, as I'm planning a bunch of entries that look to reconcile my past as a wrestling fan re: Trips, and if I end up coming to a conclusion that forgives him and he ends up fucking up SummerSlam? Yeah, I don't even want to imagine that. Triple H as a forefront character for this angle is bad. As someone in the background, he works, especially if he lets Funkhauser, err, I mean Super Dave Osbourne, err, I mean John Laryngitis... err, Laurinitis become the real lightning rod proxy. It also helps that Mr. Ace has a puro education, because I doubt that flash kick from Punk was the last bump he'll be taking.

Of course, the perfect contract signing wasn't the only thing going on here. A lot of stuff happened on RAW tonight, including two potential SummerSlam matches being taken off the card. The first saw Miz continue Rey Mysterio's injury angle with a STELLAR beatdown. Again, he shows why he's the best at the Pearl Harbor, bar none. Obviously, since Rey will be back next week for his rematch, it lends credence to the report that his injury is just a "tweak". The other match taken off the books potentially has been R-Truth/John Morrison. Some have been speculating that it's a warning shot to go along with Melina's firing. It makes sense to me, but again, no primary source, no reporting as fact. That being said, with those two matches being moved off the card ostensibly, is it too much to ask to see Miz and Truf win the Tag Pennies and become JeriShow 2K11 at SummerSlam? Please?

This was a banner night for promos. Alberto del Rio's spot before his match with Punk was pretty good. Truf was hilarious as always. Punk's line of "Triple H needing the spotlight so much that he's solar powered" was GOLD, JERRY, GOLD. Of course, the wrestling was good for the most part too. Cena/Swagger was good. Kofi/Truth was deceptively excellent. After a week where they may have taken off, RAW bounced back with a strong show, one that gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, they won't fuck up SummerSlam.

Selling Insults: Why Promos Need to Hurt Too

Your attitude is not needed, Mr. H
Photo Credit: WWE.com

When RAW opened Monday, and the barbs flew between Triple H and CM Punk, I had a good feeling that we were going to be headed towards another stellar edition of the WWE's flagship programming. Then we went backstage, and Trips pretty much undermined the whole segment, at least apparently, by basically shrugging and going "no biggie" at the whole arsenal of Punk's insults. I was nonplussed at this first, but acting like you're mad isn't the only way to show that a person's words affect you in some way. Maybe when he made his announcement later, he'd stack the deck against CM Punk and really put the wheels in motion towards a Austin/McMahon-esque feud between the new COO and the rising co-WWE Champion.

But no, he came out, put John Cena in his place, and made a match between his two fractured Champions for unification at SummerSlam. There was no hint of plot advancement, no hint of conflict, even though the first segment conveyed it, which turned Trips' denial of anything Punk having to say to him meaning anything into a blowoff for what was a compelling 20 minute open to the show.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not opposed to non-traditional storytelling, nor am I clamoring for a NPC to get involved in the main event feud for the third biggest PPV of the year (let's be honest, the Rumble is #2, and I'm not sure it's even close anymore). However, when you've got a guy who has a notorious history of being too cool for school when dealing with people who aren't his best friend, his mentor or Big Dave Batista, then maybe it's not the best idea to be trotting him out there against two guys he's not going to take seriously, especially when they're the centerpiece of the most important feud in the company right now.

A promo is only partly effective thanks to the things that the guy cutting it is saying. Granted, a guy like CM Punk has a lot more gravitas behind his words than, say, Evan Bourne even. However, even if he's cutting the most scathing promo, and Triple H doesn't sell it, and he continues not to do so? Yeah, then we have a problem. What Punk says doesn't resonate because it doesn't matter. Fuck, at least with the Anonymous RAW GM (pbuh), he/she/it reacted to the things the wrestlers said or did towards it (or towards its proxy, Michael Cole). But no, God forbid Triple H, especially in a role where right now, it's not really known whether he'll be going back into the ring for a payoff, he's not in a position to deliver an in-ring payoff.

That's why him showing ass is so important. It wouldn't kill him, and it would help not just Punk, but Cena as well. Yeah, I know none of you out there want to read about Cena needing any help in storyline, but at the same time, isn't a story/feud/whatever much better when both guys aren't looking like feeble jackasses?

Now, honestly, we don't know where the story is going from here. Obviously, with WWE though, you could append that sentence to ANY criticism of their short-term booking decisions because Vince McMahon is batshit crazy, and unless you're Darren Rovell, you know that he's still got a hand in the pot. For all we know, they're building to a point where Trips snaps and starts taking drastic measures to make sure that CM Punk stops turning his microphones into pipe bombs, especially ones lobbed in his direction. But again, I bring up Triple H's track record. If he's going to waltz into the ring and tell the biggest star in the company, the one who has the most equity built up in him by the booking team, to RESPECT HIS AUTHORITAH, then what hope does anyone else, save the Undertaker, have?

If I wanted to watch douchebags be too cool for school, I'd go to my local frat house. But since I don't want that, and I want story development and conflict, I want my wrestling TV not to have characters like Triple H smugging it up on camera, no-selling the words of one of the greatest promos in history just to make himself look good. Selling isn't just something you do in the ring, it's something that's ongoing whenever you're in character. Just like I hate watching Davey Richards take a million kicks in the ring and shrug it off like he was just standing in front of an air conditioner, I want people who aren't supposed to like each other have the words they say to each other mean something. They won't mean anything if they're shrugged off like nothing ever happened in the first place.

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 14: Spencer Hall (EDSBS)

Photo Credit: Every Day
Should Be Saturday

Episode 14: Tiny Luchas: Songs from the Mexican Gift Shop

Spencer Hall, or Orson Swindle if you wiiiiill, is this week's guest on The Wrestling Podcast. He's the head guy at Every Day Should Be Saturday, so we'll talk a little college football. As is the custom, we talk about CM Punk as well, including describing him in ways that maybe others haven't thought about before. Also, why Sheamus' being an Irish stereotype is a good thing, why he hates John Cena and of course, some obligatory laughing at the expense of Darren Rovell.

Direct link for downloading

Is the Thrill Gone?

Not the best show, but I'm not jumping yet
Photo Credit: WWE.com

They couldn't keep up that pace forever, right? Right? Well, if you ask some people, the string of epic RAW endings ended last week with Punk's allegedly premature return to action. I will still say that it was a right call (admitting that there were several potential right calls in that scenario), but a lot of it was very much dependent on how they followed up this week. In my eyes, they really didn't follow up that well at all.

The angle has been predicated on being cutting edge, or at least on the pretense of such an ideal. We had Punk venting about perceived wrongs, showing up and cuckolding Triple H at ComiCon, showing up at AAW, pulling a Chuck Taylor in Jimmy Kimmel, bolting out the genpop exit at Money in the Bank with the title... and we're reduced to dueling themes and holding up titles in the overrun? Yeah, you'll have to forgive me if I'm not enthralled with that cheese when in the last month, we've gotten nothing but A-list material.

That being said, it is the first time they've faltered on a consensus scale. The rational explanation is that it's impossible to keep up a string of excellence at a 100% clip. This is true. We were meant to get a lull in the action sooner or later. However, time and time again, wrestling fans, especially ones who reside on the Internet, myself included, have a tendency to overreact at times.

Then again, can you blame us? Asking fans of WWE (and even moreso, Impact) to trust the company on a new direction or an exciting storyline is like asking Charlie Brown to keep trying to kick the football even though every time, Lucy pulls it away. The question might then shift to why do we keep trying to kick the ball when we know the result, but hey, no one ever said that wrestling fans were the most rational bunch when it comes to how they allocate their time.

So here we are, back on the ledge. Personally, I've trained myself to be less cynical (and on the flip side, more set up to be disappointed), and yet I can't help but think that they took the thrill out of CM Punk last night. Is it an overreaction? Probably, but that's what we do. We overreact. That being said, they have two more weeks to try and get the thrill back, and given that the angle still contains Punk, they have a damn good chance to do it. Here's the thing about Punk; he's one of the rare talents who overcomes bad circumstance like Michael Jordan made fools look silly on the court in the early '90s. So right there, this angle has something going for it that the Nexus angle, or several other false start angles in the past didn't have going for them.

So yeah, maybe in this one instance, we shouldn't be so quick to jump off the ledge. The thrill may seem like it's gone now, but at the same time, you can never tell when Punk's got the power to turn a microphone into a pipe bomb. Granted, it's looking more and more like Triple H won't be as giving with him as Vince McMahon was with Steve Austin, but you know what? Punk can overcome that. Why? Because he's awesome, that's why.

And as long as CM Punk remains awesome, I'm not sure the thrill will ever go away from professional wrestling as long as he's there.