Future Endeavors 8/24 Power Poll: ...BAAAAAHT Chu Already Knew That

TAKE THAT CAPITALIST AMERICAN PIG
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bro-nan the Bar-bro-nian (credit Vince Mancini of Film Drunk), PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Alberto Del Rio (Last Week: 1)
2. Mark Henry (NR)
3. Randy Orton (3)
4. CM Punk (2)
5. John Cena (4)
6. The Ghan-Am Connection (Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne) (credit: Brandon Stroud) (NR)
7. John Morrison (NR)
8. Daniel Bryan (8)
9. Kevin Nash (9)
10. The Awesome Truth (The Miz and R-Truth) (NR)

And now, my ballot!

1. Alberto del Rio - He makes the cross armbreaker look suave.

2. El Generico - Your 2011 Battle of Los Angeles winner. No word yet on whether he'll be entering any other events named after Rage against the Machine albums this year or not.

3. Mark Henry - He threw an Uso onto Booker T. OF COURSE HE'S GOING TO BE HERE.

4. CM Punk - Mostly for how stylishly he wore del Rio's scarf after the match.

5. John Cena - I would have docked him for openly exposing del Rio as a gimmick, but he won me over in the main event. Also, because I don't vote on this thing like I'm Bryan Alvarez with a log wedged up my ass about shit like that.

6. Daniel Bryan - Stock Daniel Bryan ranking.

7. Evan Bourne - America > Ghana, that's why

8. Kofi Kingston - But I guess Ghana's snazzy too.

9. Shawn Vexx - He beat Jerry Lynn in Texas this past weekend, and I quite enjoy it when young men beat the crap out of our senior citizens.

10. Arik Cannon - Defeated Steve Corino at the AAW main event this weekend. However, I'm not sure if he avoided the Thumb in the Bum, so I can't rank him any higher than 10th.

Instant Feedback: Triple H Is Solar Powered

Any momentum that was lost last week from the main angle was regained. Why did we have any doubt? Did we think the soul-sucking WWE machine could take CM Punk and rob him of his ability to entrance crowds? Turns out the answer to that is now. Punk, who got loud reactions from an iffy crowd all night, a crowd that faded in and out all night long, showed that he can curry interest for a wrestling match by opening his mouth, not by holding a belt up to new theme music.

And let's not take credit away from Cena. He went meta at one point, mentioning workrate in his nerdy voice, and that was great from a different standpoint, but the rest of his delivery showed him at his best. He needs to be the strong, moral, lawful good voice that counterbalances the Punk who's chaotic good persona draws in the male fans who like people who like to watch the world burn. The WWE could really be onto something if they cultivate a split fanbase and start exploring the fact that different wrestlers appeal to different demographics.

They'd also be wise to have Triple H play as much of a background role as possible. Of course, his forced star turn tonight couldn't come at a worse time in terms of selfish reasons, as I'm planning a bunch of entries that look to reconcile my past as a wrestling fan re: Trips, and if I end up coming to a conclusion that forgives him and he ends up fucking up SummerSlam? Yeah, I don't even want to imagine that. Triple H as a forefront character for this angle is bad. As someone in the background, he works, especially if he lets Funkhauser, err, I mean Super Dave Osbourne, err, I mean John Laryngitis... err, Laurinitis become the real lightning rod proxy. It also helps that Mr. Ace has a puro education, because I doubt that flash kick from Punk was the last bump he'll be taking.

Of course, the perfect contract signing wasn't the only thing going on here. A lot of stuff happened on RAW tonight, including two potential SummerSlam matches being taken off the card. The first saw Miz continue Rey Mysterio's injury angle with a STELLAR beatdown. Again, he shows why he's the best at the Pearl Harbor, bar none. Obviously, since Rey will be back next week for his rematch, it lends credence to the report that his injury is just a "tweak". The other match taken off the books potentially has been R-Truth/John Morrison. Some have been speculating that it's a warning shot to go along with Melina's firing. It makes sense to me, but again, no primary source, no reporting as fact. That being said, with those two matches being moved off the card ostensibly, is it too much to ask to see Miz and Truf win the Tag Pennies and become JeriShow 2K11 at SummerSlam? Please?

This was a banner night for promos. Alberto del Rio's spot before his match with Punk was pretty good. Truf was hilarious as always. Punk's line of "Triple H needing the spotlight so much that he's solar powered" was GOLD, JERRY, GOLD. Of course, the wrestling was good for the most part too. Cena/Swagger was good. Kofi/Truth was deceptively excellent. After a week where they may have taken off, RAW bounced back with a strong show, one that gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, they won't fuck up SummerSlam.

The Love Lives of the Rich and Famous

Slut or not? I don't think that's our business.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

There was somewhat of a Tumblr brouhaha over the weekend between my Fair to Flair colleague Razor of House Kick-Out!! and Tumblr/Twitter devotee Tom Warren. You can get the full deal of what they were squabbling over by reading the thread linked, but the gist of it is basically an argument over whether slut-shaming of Melina is really appropriate. On one hand, there's the traditional hotness going around that Melina cheated on John Morrison with Batista and Mike Knox, with the implication that she was some kind of conniving or controlling bitch because Morrison kept taking her back. On the other, there's another rumor going around that they were in an open relationship, and that it's equally as likely that Morrison was plowing other chicks with the same lack of recourse that Melina was getting her freak on with other guys outside their exclusivity.

I'm refraining from taking a side on this matter because mainly, we're speculating on rumors here, and not even rumors about what might be going on in the business, but what was going on in their love lives. I don't know, but I feel like unless people come out and start openly talking about what's going on in their personal lives, it's something that should be off-limits to speculation. To the best of my knowledge, everything that's come out about Melina has been through reports in dirtsheets and rumors that have been passed down the grapevine on the Internet, specifically through social media nowadays. This isn't a condemnation of social media at all, but more or less a statement of fact that Twitter and the like have made it easier for this kind of thing to disseminate, with the implication that it was going to get out there anyway. But I digress.

So now, we're sitting here making judgments on Melina, Morrison or really anyone they've been associated with based on rumors that may or may not be true. I don't know if they were exclusive when she "cheated" on him or if they were in an open relationship. So, how does that make me any better than Randy Orton when he went on the radio and basically implied that Kelly Kelly was a swampwhore who slept with anything with a pulse and a prick if I started making judgment, favorable or otherwise? It would make me worse since I have no firsthand knowledge of the situation.

Now, I'm not condemning either Razor or Tom here, because it's human nature to gossip. We all get caught up in rumors and talking about the airing of dirty laundry from time to time, and the fact that it was done interpersonally on Tumblr makes it all forgivable seeing as none of it was really passed off as news. I also realize that any sort of attempt at trying to get society on the whole to stop worrying about what people do on their own time is a futile effort, especially since sites like TMZ and publications like OK! Magazine are so firmly entrenched in our public narrative.

However, I'd like it if people at least made the attempt to keep the discourse away from the news in a way that would affect how they judge it, especially concerning the double standard that men who bang are somehow admirable while women who bang are the scum of the Earth. Speculating that Melina got fired because she's a "slut"? That's not journalism, that's borderline sexism from where I sit. If it's true she was fired for her proclivities in the bedroom? That makes WWE an incredibly sexist organization (although we probably could already figure that out anyway) and worthy of being called out by every group under the sun. That also goes for the rumors that Morrison's push being stalled more depended on him not standing up to Batista or Knox after the alleged cheating and not because he's a botch machine who can't cut a decent promo in the way that WWE seemingly is forcing him to do.

We recognize it's bad when Randy Orton speaks out of turn about a co-worker's love life. What does it say about us who comment on this without any of the knowledge an Orton might have? Whether Melina and Morrison have a good or bad relationship really is none of our business unless they decide to make it our business, and while I can understand and can't stop the offhand discussion of where this narrative takes us, I can totally condemn when it gets passed off as news, especially when we don't have the news to back it up.

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 7: Brandon Stroud of With Leather

Archibald Peck, Stroud and the lovely Veronica
Photo Credit: Destiny D. Talley

Vol. 7: In the Aeroplane over the CIMA

Episode 7 of The Wrestling Podcast guest-stars Brandon Stroud of With Leather. We pretty much talk about everything from Chikara to John Morrison to why TNA gives us headaches to Ice Ribbon to the Uproxx family of bloggers to Akira Tozawa to ACW to Joe Rogan to The Dugout and everything in between. Give it a listen!

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!