Showing posts with label WWE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WWE. Show all posts

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Self-Aware WWE: Dot Com Article about the Divas of Doom

WWE.com is taking notice
Photo Credit: WWE.com
WWE.com by Katie Raymond

The self-awareness of WWE is reaching the website. Katie Raymond, known most for her work on WWE live blogs, wrote about the Divas of Doom and how their cause may just be legit. The quality of the article is a bit sketchy, but that's probably by design, because WWE.com is never going to be known for hard-hitting journalism. That being said, the fact that this topic is being broached speaks to the paradigm shift within the company. I figure if you're going to go in a direction, you might as well go all the way. Blur the lines not only on screen, but on the site too. Then again, that definitely speaks to K. Sawyer Paul's point that the website is now the driving force in the narrative of the company.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Live Smackdown Tonight: Why I Hope It's Permanent

Smackdown goes live tonight in what the WWE is promising to be a historic event. If RAW last night is any indicator, the only way it makes history is if it's historically bad. Then again, WWE has a tendency to be schizoid in how they produce shows. One week, they can be knockout great, and another, ehh, not so much. Maybe they have all their A-material planned for tonight. Who knows.

Either way, I hope tonight is a great success. As you might have noticed in the last month or so, I've been sporadic in my DVR watching. It isn't because I don't WANT to watch the wrestling I can't watch live. Except maybe Impact, because some weeks, it's a fucking chore to get through that slop. But no, I really want to watch Smackdown. Sometimes though, I get too busy. I'm a married man, and I do like spending time with my wife. We do stuff on the weekends, and sometimes, it precludes me from being able to watch the contents of my DVR. It's life.

That being said, I rarely have anything going on Tuesday nights. I CAN watch wrestling live at that point. I think most people can too. It's why networks put their best shows on nights like Tuesday (or Monday or Wednesday or even Thursday). Friday is a social night. People go out, eat dinner, have drinks, dance, bowl, watch movies. By and large, they don't watch wrestling or much TV at all, even. Sure, there are people who do watch Smackdown live who have otherwise fine social lives and make Friday nights appointment viewing, but at the same time, there's a reason why four million people watch RAW each week and maybe two million watch Brand Blue. Odds are, two million people are like me. They'd like to see the travails of folks like Christian, Cody Rhodes, Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton Wade Barrett live, but they'd rather not give up one of their free nights.

That's why I want this to be a huge success. I want to be able to watch wrestling that matters on a night that's convenient for me. I'm not alone in this either. Plus, it keeps up a really good momentum for our wrestling fandom, especially on a PPV weekend. Three straight days of wrestling with another five to chew on what happened seems to be a good thing for me at least. With Smackdown moving to live viewing, I'll probably be more apt to shift into the other room on Thursdays to watch Impact live too, and then maybe watching NWA Hollywood, Superstars and when it begins to be streamed on the web, ROH at my convenience as well.

But that's only if tonight does well. So yeah, I know I really don't care about the ratings as much anymore, but for the love of all that's good, let tonight break SyFy's ratings records and force them to put Smackdown live. It would be better for everyone involved.

Idiotic if True: How an Impact Burnout May Have Screwed over the Young Bucks




Photo & Video Sharing by SmugMug
Were these guys wronged by the competition?
Cageside Seats has a pretty good summary of the scuttlebutt surrounding the Sin Cara hood and the two men who play it, especially the original. It's a good read, but in describing one of the reasons why Mistico has become persona non grata in WWE right now, they brought up this nugget on a recent controversy involving two decidedly non-Sin Cara related wrestlers:
The Young Bucks shouldn't have bothered turning up for their recent WWE tryout, their chances were shot as soon as Rob Van Dam gave them the rep of dodging veteran's handshakes. In a predictable development, RVD's good friends Booker T and Goldust made sure to concur with his assessment via Twitter that they were a couple of disrespectful young punks and thus the Bucks could kiss their WWE chances goodbye.
First, a disclaimer, I don't assume that this is 100% truth here. Dave Meltzer (the source for the Cageside article) may have an element of truth to that slant on how things happened. He may be talking cynically. I don't know.

That being said, if there is any element of truth to this... what the fuck, WWE? Really? Really? I purported not even to want to judge how the WWE backstage culture was, and if the Bucks did "wrong" Booker T, then it's one thing. It's a personal beef, and they handled it the way that they handle those kinds of things backstage. However, if what Meltzer is insinuating is true here, then it's a clear case of a guy who works for another company influencing policy. Regardless of who the guy is, that seems pretty fucked up to me. The guy basically is using his influence to make sure that two guys who might have a future in the industry can't get ahead. Isn't that kind of blackballing considered unethical at the very least?

Furthermore, let's look into the guy who's starting this bullshit. Rob Van Dam. Apparently, if the insinuation is true, he cares about respect and petty bullshit, which is fine and dandy if you're into having your ego stroked, but let's look at some of the things he doesn't care about. He doesn't care about showing respect, since he mouths off about Impact in the media if he's unhappy (and regardless of whether you agree with him or not, you take care of that shit in house). He doesn't care about following drug policy obviously. He also doesn't care about co-worker safety, since his well-documented sloppiness hasn't abated over the years. In fact, I'd say it's gotten worse since his most egregious offense against protecting his fellow workers happened within the last six months, i.e. his amateur dentistry on Abyss with his foot. So now, WWE HR policy is going to be directly impacted by a burnout working for the struggling competition? That is hilarious.

That also isn't to say that RVD and his cronies Booker and Goldust would be totally at fault here. If WWE really is going to not sign the Bucks due to that backstage fracas without further investigation, then what does that say about them? It's one thing to have a guy in the doghouse in Mistico because of behavior that's widely observed, but wouldn't you think it funny that the Bucks, who apparently shook hands with everyone else, had a problem with only two guys, guys who were friends of a habitual drug user with a massive ego? If the reports are true, then doesn't this make WWE look fucking stupid for siding with a guy who ultimately is part of the organization that's most competing with them, whether they know it or not?

But that's the kicker. I keep going back to the disclaimer. There's no way to gauge whether any of these reports that are based on non-primary sources and conjecture are 100% factual. While I have my reasons to believe Meltzer over anyone, including his colleague Bryan Alvarez, wouldn't have an axe to grind, it's entirely possible that he has a journalistic bias against the WWE. It's not that big a negative. It's human nature. There's entirely a chance that this whole post is bluster, and within six months, the Young Bucks will be in WWE, and who knows, maybe Mistico will be Sin Cara once more. That being said, there's too much smoke in the form of wrestler chatter about this kind of thing for there not to be fire. If it was just something internal, then yeah, maybe I wouldn't have wasted any more words on it than I did back when I reacted to it first. But the fact that someone working for Impact may have something to do with the Bucks not signing WWE contracts seems stupid at least, unethical at the midpoint and illegal tampering/collusion at the very worst. It's so mind-bogglingly awful that even the very specter of it doesn't pass the smell test.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Monday, August 29, 2011

Was Mistico a Mistake?




Was Mistico fated from start to fail?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
When Triple H signed Mistico to a contract, most people who knew who he was were excited. He was one of the biggest standout wrestlers South of the Border, worked an exciting style and seemed to be a perfect fit for a company that seemed to take to high flying wrestlers very well. The fans loved him as Sin Cara too. He sold merchandise and got wows from the live audiences for all his acrobatic moves. The botches didn't seem to matter too much either.

The untold story to most fans was that Mistico was a headcase. There was a steady stream of reports from dirtsheets and C&P sites that noted he had a huge ego and brought down the brunt of management and the locker room for everything from those aforementioned botches to claiming that his matches in Mexico were shoot fights. Granted, none of these reports came from primary sources, so it's unclear how much of them were true. Still, the steadiness of said stream was troubling at the very least. That being said, his problems reared a more public head when he was suspended for violating the Wellness Policy.

One would assume that he'd sit out his thirty days, come back and feud with Sheamus, the guy who put him out in storyline with a vicious powerbomb through a ladder at Money in the Bank. That wasn't the case, as again, nebulous reports without primary sources surfaced that Mistico would not be back. More gas was thrown on that fire when the Sin Cara character was brought back two weeks before Mistico's suspension was up, only with masked FCW wrestler Hunico in the rule. A fake/real Sin Cara angle was teased, but ultimately it was dropped when Mistico took over the role again on house shows.

Then, the biggest kicker, Mistico was apparently sent home last Tuesday, with Hunico being placed back in the Sin Cara mask (which, oddly enough, got off to an inauspicious restart when he had to redo a match with Heath Slater twice before it was fit to air). Honestly, I'm not sure what the deal is here. Again, the reports say that he was sent home because of a combination of ego, sloppiness and frustration with the man himself. I'm not going to rule out this being the beginning of that aforementioned dueling Sin Caras angle, but then again, who knows at this point. I'm not sure who's getting the right information, but as of right now, it does seem plausible that the Mistico experiment was poisoned from the start.

The premise behind bringing him up to America was simple. He'd be a guy who'd wow the Anglo audiences, while providing a hometown hero for Mexican fans, a base that is a major growth sector for WWE (growth sector... shit, I feel so dirty for typing that, my apologies). Honestly, the former didn't need to be filled by a Mexican at all. Evan Bourne, for example, is a guy who is massively over with crowds despite being limited to bumping his ass off for bigger guys and doing the Air Bourne for a huge crowd reaction. If they'd turned him loose earlier, maybe he's the guy who'd have made it possible for Rey Mysterio to get his surgery before it became necessary thanks to injuries exacerbated by holding out.

But then again, he didn't fill the other void. You could argue Alberto del Rio did, but at the same time, would Mexican crowds cheer for a rudo in a company of gringos if he was the only one? It's a very good possibility he could have. I mean, WWE may try to keep heels heel in their hometowns through dastardly actions, but money spent on merchandise and tickets is a neutral language. CM Punk proved that at Money in the Bank. Bret Hart proved it in Canada in 1996-97. My guess is the fact that del Rio was crowned Champion so close to their next big tour of Mexico leads me to believe that they didn't necessarily need to have Mistico to have a Mexican draw.

That being said, it'd be nice to be able to have one on the RAW tour and one on the Smackdown tour as well. Again, the WWE could really expand in Mexico, so I guess you can't blame them for wanting to have as many. But why Mistico? Why couldn't they have put Hunico in the Sin Cara mask all along? It would have cost them less from the get go, and he would have been well-adjusted from start having been "broken" by FCW so to speak. It's easy to say that in retrospect, but the truth is, the Sin Cara role was created for Mistico. It wouldn't have existed if the Mexican superstar wasn't signed up in the first place.

The truth is, I really can't blame WWE for trying to sign the guy in the first place. They hit a home run with Dos Caras, Jr. Maybe they thought they could do better by having an established name come in and do business for them. However, what worked for the middling-to-struggling Caras wasn't just his heritage. It was a year in FCW, vignettes heralding his arrival as Alberto del Rio and working a generally less risky style that made him a success.

It's easy to look at this whole ordeal in retrospect and say what a terrible idea it was, but the fact is that it wasn't so much a mistake as it was a gamble. Triple H, in his first move, swung for the fences and yeah, he may have apparently struck out (remember, no one knows Mistico's status now), he's thinking enough outside of the box that his father-in-law has built that he's going to bring in new and eclectic guys. You live, and you learn, but you won't know if Mistico will be the guy for you unless you sign him (and really, if you divorce his ego from his in-ring, he was looking to be really huge).

Going forward, Hunico being in the Sin Cara mask is probably the right call, as long as nights like last Tuesday are aberrations rather than the norm. That being said, even if it didn't turn out as planned for WWE, bringing in Mistico was the right call. Sometimes though, the right call can turn out bad.

Friday, August 26, 2011

From the A1 Message Boards: Me and Jerseyboy on the Money in the Bank Buyrate




Don't worry 'bout Punk
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Normally, I hate talking about things like buyrates and ratings. Like Jason Mann said, they're boring. However, sometimes, you get dragged into conversations with people who take those sorts of things seriously. In addition to my post on why I don't think they need to be taken seriously at Fair to Flair, I got into it a little bit at A1-Wrestling with the people reacting to ratings and getting a bit in a tizzy because ratings haven't shot up.

I posted the now-determined-to-be incorrect buyrate for Money in the Bank, which was actually really good, before I was corrected by poster and sometimes TWB commenter KoppoKick bringing up Meltzer's analysis of the sheets bringing the number down a bit. The correct number, 185K as compared to the erroneous number of 276K, was still pretty good, at least I thought. Here's the passage of three posts over there that I think dictates why, regardless of how "good" or "not good" the numbers are, why, again, we shouldn't really worry about the business side when it comes to what they're going to do on the side we SHOULD care about, i.e. the shows themselves. Two of my posts will sandwich one by poster and regular TWB commenter Jerseyboy, with whom I may disagree from time to time. Despite that, he really is smart when it comes to this kind of thing, and I'm glad he reads and comments.

Yes, this will be directly C&Ped from the A1 board, but I think it's worth sharing. At least I hope you think it's worth sharing.

Me:
[Referring to the discrepancy between the originally reported 276K and the real 185K] It just goes to show that wrestling journalism has a long way to go, and wrestling fans such as myself have a long way to go before trusting any of these sites. My bad.

That being said, 185K is still a good number.
Jerseyboy:
I agree. To me, it meant that Punk/Cena had some juice.

The big thing that people need to keep in mind is that if there's going to be business turnaround with Punk as the centerpiece, it isn't going to happen overnight. Again, the things to look at over the next 3-6 months aren't the TV ratings so much, but to see if there's a bump in PPV buyrates and house show attendance and merchandise sales. If Punk means something, that's where the initial bump's [sic] going to come from.

Of course, the WWE might look at ratings and a less than expected PPV number and decide Punk needs to be shunted back down the card. But I'm thinking at this point that they're pretty much out of options and will go all the way with him.

Because if you move Punk back to the mid-card, who do you move up in his place? Exactly.
Me again:
Yeah, I think you're right in that they won't move him back down for whatever reason. They're already seeing the initial bumps in merch. MitB was slightly up, from this time last year, which is still up. Ratings are ratings, but in the last two months, they've been mostly stable. Plus, as Triple H gets more influence, I think the decision making might turn more rational over the long term. I think Punk will be fine.

Normally, I don't care about this kind of thing, but I posted the number just to try and allay concerns (before I found out that I had bitten on a bad one, again, my fault there) that something that we found good was going to continue to pay dividends and that really, we should probably stop worrying about the business end of things. 10 million people watch the Jersey Shore. Is that a measurement of how enjoyable that program is going to be to you? Hardly. Therefore, why should it matter how many people consume wrestling if what the company is producing is good? And unlike Fatty, there really isn't a consensus on this angle being good or bad (although most people I interact with have loved the last two months with hiccups here and there).

If WWE was proving to be reactionary, then they wouldn't have put Punk over Cena at MitB, they wouldn't have put him over Cena again at SummerSlam, and they wouldn't have programmed him against someone who is so obviously hateable and polarizing the other way that everyone, not just the "Attitude Era holdovers", men and anti-Cena crowd, would cheer him. Say what you want about Nash and Punk being programmed against him, but again, the logic there isn't to bury Punk or put him out of mind. It's to get everyone to cheer the man, and it's a prelude into a potential feud with the boss. Whether you think Nash should have been the segue into that or whether you think that a boss/employee feud in 2011 is a good idea is one thing, but I think it's undeniable that Punk is a priority to WWE right now.

This is program #1 or at least #1a (with Cena/del Rio being #1). The moment that Punk gets thrown back to the Dolph Zigglers and Kanes of the world is when we start panicking, at least in my estimation. But again, I'll be utterly shocked if that happens. Call me myopic. Call me overly optimistic. Call me a "WWE fanboy" (like that means anything among adults in 2011, even if there wasn't a shitload of evidence to prove that I come down on what I feel is bad wrestling regardless of company) even. Just don't call me late for dinner. But I have a really good feeling about the direction of WWE right now, and when it's all said and done, I really feel like come WrestleMania time, CM Punk is going to be fully integrated into the main event firmament.
I think that's a passage worth relaying. Again, numbers are numbers, and even if they do affect what they put on the screen, you always have the option to vote with your own remote control and not watch. Life's not long enough to the point where worrying about the performance indicators of WWE is worth it.

Also, I encourage you, like I always have, to sign up for an account at A1-Wrestling and post there. It's a really good community with great discussion for wrestling and so much more.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Weekend Wrap-Up: ¡OLÈ!




Photo & Video Sharing by SmugMug
Winner of BOLA '11
- El Generico took home this year's Battle of Los Angeles tournament title. The Generic Luchador bested PWG World Champion and bitter rival Kevin Steen in the finals of the SoCal indie's big single elimination fray. Finlay as advertised made his appearance, losing to Steen in the first round. Willie Mack scored the upset of the tournament, besting Chris Hero in the first round. Also on the card, the the Dynasty of Joey Ryan and Scorpio Sky defeated the RockNES Monsters to earn a Tag Team Championship shot at the Young Bucks at a later date.

- AAW also ran a show Saturday night, and the highlight was a hard-hitting match between Arik Cannon and Steve Corino. Cannon won with his Glimmering Warlock (think the move that Alberto del Rio used to beat CM Punk for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam). Also on the card, Silas Young retained his AAW Championship over Gregory Iron, and MsChif made her return to wrestling, defeating Sassy Stephanie.

- ACW had a show last night, attended by With Leather's Brandon Stroud (who, hopefully, will be writing a detailed report, wink wink nudge nudge please write one PLEASE). It saw the ACW return of Jerry Lynn, who found some time to make it somewhere else besides Orlando and did something else besides costing RVD matches. He was defeated in the four-way main event for the Televised Championship by Shawn Vexx. Former Champion Rachel Summerlyn was eliminated first, oddly enough. Also on the card, Lillie Mae defeated Portia Perez, pouring a slop bucket on her head in the process. Ah, Texas.

- Finally, it's not Wednesday, but I'm linking you to some stories chronicling WWE being a soulless corporate entity. First up, Cageside Seats raises an awfully good point in how the fuck do you let a guy with torn ligaments wrestle two straight days and claim to have a "Wellness" Policy? Secondly, Harry Smith isn't exactly thrilled with his former employers after they treated personal effects that belonged to his father and his uncle Owen with very little regard for their integrity. Finally, Lisa Wright, a member of the Council of Unity, wrote a scathing letter to the Be A Star alliance, asking them to remove WWE from their site in response to the constant fat-shaming of a totally-not-fat Vickie Guerrero. In response, she got "intelligent feedback" from WWE fans and has rescinded that complaint, even though her complaint was completely valid. Hm, no, it was definitely the fans who pressured her and not corporate interests. Remember those stories the next time WWE asks you to stand up for it or some other pedantic bullshit request.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Guest Blog: CM Punk, Social Media and WWE's New Nightmare Era

Florida-based blogger and creative maven Mike Lortz has submitted this guest blog, which is a take on CM Punk vis a vis horror movies and the reinvention the genre underwent in the mid '90s. Please support him via his website, he's a really cool dude.




CM Punk... a less scary Freddy Krueger?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Before he created the highly successful Scream franchise, horror director extraordinaire Wes Craven was at the helm for New Nightmare. It was his final foray in the Nightmare on Elm Street canon and the last original movie in which Freddy Krueger is the lead antagonist. Although well-acclaimed according to Wikipedia, Craven’s New Nightmare grossed less than any of the previous six films which include movies where Freddy is resurrected by dog piss or uses a Nintendo power glove to kill a young teen.

Despite its mediocre take, New Nightmare broke ground in a very unique way. Although not as refined in its introspection as Scream, New Nightmare was the first film to break the esteemed “fourth wall” and claim a sense of reality in the movie. To use a Star Wars reference, New Nightmare is to Scream what Episode III’s General Grevious is to Darth Vader - an effective yet imperfect prototype.

In the movie, Robert Englund, Heather Langenkamp, John Saxon, and the rest of the cast play themselves as director Wes Craven is “writing” the latest and final chapter in the Nightmare saga. As Craven writes, the actors find themselves dragged back into the world of Elm Street to face a darker, more evil, more realistic Freddy than had ever graced the screen. Until the final scenes, where Langenkamp – then effectively the Nancy character from the series – takes on Freddy in a furnace room, the line between reality and Hollywood fantasy is effectively blurred. The offices of New Line Cinema are as much part of the New Nightmare movie as nightmarish fantasies of the previous Elm Street films.

Recently, the screenwriters at the WWE have torn a page from the Craven handbook. Through one-time indie wrestling star CM Punk and the use of social media, the WWE has created a storyline that has brought reality to pro wrestling and pro wrestling to reality in a way that is both unique and unprecedented.

Back in June, CM Punk made a speech that knocked the wrestling community on its head. Prior to this year’s “Money in the Bank” pay-per-view, he made a speech that called out all the flaws of the WWE, from bad booking and signings to political hob-nobbing. It was as if Punk was reading directing from the “dirt sheets” and other pro wrestling bulletin boards, blogs, and social media outlets. Disguised as Punk “lashing out at the company he hates” before his “contract ran out”, the promo was perhaps the realest staged event in WWE history. Punk was no longer frolicking in fantasy, he was clearly gallivanting in reality as addressed items the WWE had clearly tried to ignore for years.

Following “Money in the Bank”, Punk continued to slide into our reality through the use of social media. His famous tweet of the WWE belt in his refrigerator, while meant to be a slap in the face to the WWE powers that be in their fantasy world, had a much larger albeit more subtle meaning. By putting the belt in his fridge, Punk took the title as far away from the fantasy world of TV as possible. We all have refrigerators; they are as normal as ovens or kitchen sinks. The belt was no longer in a wrestling ring guarded by behemoths of the squared circle. It was sitting next to Punk’s leftovers and protein shakes.

Punk’s use of Twitter was only the latest of a remarkable run of social media usage by company. In the past year, the WWE and their personalities have been praised in multiple publications for using Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and other social media forums as a way to continue the discussion of and with the WWE Universe. Their use of the mediums have pushed their stories and fantasies beyond Monday Night RAW and Smackdown and turned them into 24/7 dramas. Kayfabe has become perpetual.

The WWE’s use of social media to push their stars was gradual, but once the company realized the potential, they jumped on the mediums in full force. Not to be underestimated, of course, is the rise in popularity of “Long Island Ice Z” Zack Ryder. Whether through the inventiveness of Ryder or the WWE social media team, Ryder, a one-time marginal character, became an Internet phenomenon through the release of Youtube shorts and influential tweets.

As Ryder became a cult classic for the Internet Wrestling Community, other wrestling superstars were taking more conventional routes to social media stardom. Some used Twitter to communicate fueds, others to promote their products, and others to push motivational catch phrases to fans. Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, for example, signed with social media maven Amy Martin’s Digital Royalty, a brand that specializes in big-time sports personalities.

As a quick aside, one of the more interesting parts of Punk’s famous promo was his mention of The Rock, who Punk deliberately addresses as “Dwayne”. Through his third/first person addressing styles, The Rock was perhaps the first wrestler to easily switch from his fantasy persona to his real persona and have the crowd understand which was which, sometimes even during the same promo.

But the biggest WWE social media coup de grace didn’t even occur in a WWE ring. It occurred when CM Punk showing up in an indie show in Illinois. This wasn’t Ric Flair wining and dining and limousine riding, this was a WWE Champion hobnobbing with the common wrestling fan and the common indie wrestler in a common forum on a common street in a common town. Punk might have been at All-American Wrestling in Chicago, but he might as well have been in CZW in Philadelphia or wXw in Minneola, Florida. For the wrestling diehard, to see him in an independent ring meant instant credibility. It meant he took their love seriously. Although he was perhaps thousands of miles away, Punk had come to see them.

CM Punk’s visit was also as unscripted and un-kayfabe as possible. It was only possible because he was so real. He was a populist, anti-establishment, anti-corporate, anti-fabricated anti-hero. He was even more rebellious than "Stone Cold: Steve Austin, a man who frequently flicked off Vince McMahon, drank beer and swore like a sailor. Compared to Punk, who had the WWE by the balls by holding the championship and doing things WWE superstars were not usually allowed to do – like visit indie shows – Austin was as manufactured as Hulk Hogan.

Hulk Hogan could never have visited an indie show. Although he might have started out in relative obscurity in Japan and the early days of WWWF, at the height of his popularity, Hulk Hogan was a cartoon, as fictional as Bugs Bunny and as unrealistic as Pee-Wee Herman. The rest of Hogan’s ilk, especially those of the Rock n’ Wrestling Era, were just as comical. Were we really supposed to believe Junkyard Dog lived in a junkyard and that Nikolai Volkoff was friends with Mikhail Gorbechov?

And can you imagine the Rock n’ Wrestling Connection on Twitter? Would they have tweeted their adventures on the Saturday morning cartoons? In this era of truth and upfrontness, the WWE’s character gimmicks would not have been able to capture the attention of the masses. They would have been dismissed as a gimmicky joke.

Although the masses would have put aside unrealism in the case of Junkyard Dog or Nikolai Volkoff (see the retweeted random “musings” of The Iron Shiek”), Hulk Hogan has become a completely different story. As the years progressed, the once cartoonish He-Man was dragged into reality. He became Langenkamp’s “Nancy”, but instead of fighting the Iron Shiek, Hulk was bearing the Hogan name in VH1 reality shows and hocking rental furniture on the side. And he was dragging his family along for the ride. They were no longer Bolleas, they were and will always be Hogans.

Through social media, CM Punk has been able to become the anti-Hogan and lead a revolution in realism. As Craven revolutionized horror with New Nightmare and even more so with Scream, moving it away from kitschy slasher sequels and over-used one-liners, the WWE has pulled away it’s curtain and used it to catch new fans and re-invigorate the interest of fans who might have fallen off the wagon.

For a business that specializes in fantasy, the CM Punk-Social Media-“Shoot-Reality” Era is a moment that will change the game forever.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Four of PWG's Finest Received a WWE Tryout Last Night




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Two of the WWE's tryouts last night
I mused on Twitter last night that I thought I saw Scorpio Sky among the throng of security installed to keep CM Punk from attacking Kevin Nash last night. Apparently, I wasn't dreaming, as Sky was in attendance at RAW last night. According to Mike Johnson of The Site That Shall Not Be Linked (PW Insider for those new to the blog), Sky as well as Joey Ryan and the Young Bucks all received tryouts last night before the show.

This is huge news, although in the case of the Bucks, not surprising, as Triple H seems to want to bolster the tag ranks. Both the Bucks and the teaming of Ryan and Sky as The Dynasty would be tasty additions to the tag team division from where I sit. My guess is that there'll be a long hard look at body types. Then again, if Trips is all for pushing Daniel Bryan and seems to be going all in on CM Punk, maybe the mindset that bodybuilders are the only potential stars as an institutional condition of stardom is going out the window.

Hopefully, at least someone gets signed out of this though.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Monday, August 15, 2011

Transcending Trish: Why Kelly Kelly Is Vital to Viable Women's Wrestling in WWE




Kelly's evolution is crucial to survival of WWE women
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Once upon a time, there was a model who was signed by WWE. She really had nothing going for her outside of her sex appeal at first, and after beginning her tenure in a non-wrestling capacity, she started to tangle in the ring. The results weren't pretty at first, but she grew into her role, she started to become serviceable and then good in the ring. It took some time, but Trish Stratus eventually lived happily ever after, at least in terms of WWE women.

Kelly Kelly has a lot of things in common with Stratus, truth be told. Like Stratus, she started out as a model, albeit as a Hawaiian Tropic model rather than fitness. She started out in a non-wrestling capacity, only as a faux-stripper instead of a manager. And yes, she's not really that good in the ring here at the beginning of her run. But like Stratus improved over her run, Kelly is showing some signs of improvement. Last night, she held her own with Beth Phoenix. Some people, like Brandon Stroud, thought that Kelly was the better wrestler in the match. It's an argument that you could take seriously without being crazy.

It was one match, but it was a big improvement over the past, when all she'd do is look pretty, botch moves and bump awkwardly. So, going from that to being someone who could make a match look good because she bumped her ass off? That's huge, especially given that she's the prohibitive face of the Divas. It doesn't matter what Eve Torres, Maryse, the Bellas or anyone else do. They're not the ones whose faces are featured prominently on billboards and posters.

Of course, maybe the answer to that problem would be not to push the Barbie dolls. Yeah, and the problems I have could be fixed by hitting Powerball. That is to say it's not going to happen, at least not overnight. Would it behoove WWE to bring back Serena and hire Cheerleader Melissa, Sara del Rey, KANA, Madison Eagles, Allison Danger and Candice LaRae? Of course it would. However, change can't really come drastically like that, or else you're risking alienating your audience. It has to come over time. It's not like the entire roster consists of no-talent model-types. There's Phoenix, Nattie Neidhart, AJ and, when she comes back from bearing child, Kharma who are already on the main roster. Naomi and former SHIMMER wrestler Tenille are in FCW.

At the same time, those women won't get the hard push without Kelly. She's the key to all this. She needs to grow and continue her ascent so that she can prove that women in WWE aren't segment fillers. She's the ideal, so she has to show, like Trish, that the ideal isn't just someone who's pretty. When Stratus was in her heyday, the women's scene, despite having Lita, Phoenix and Mickie James on the roster, wasn't as deep as it is now. If Kelly can get the crowd invested in the women more for their looks, then WWE can build a viable women's division, something that can be called more than just a Divas division derisively.

So that's why Kelly needs to channel Stratus and needs to improve. That's why last night, while not really a good match graded without a curve, was so important going forward. Kelly is going to be a vital cog, and whether she evolves or stagnates is a key for credible women's wrestling in WWE. When Stratus evolved, she got women's wrestling's foot in the door. It's time for Kelly to take the next step.

Silent Roid Rage?: Andy Leavine WELLNESS'd




Photo Credit: WWE.com
Via WrestleChat via the Site that Shall Not Be Linked

Tough Enough mk. 2 winner Andy "Silent Rage" Leavine was popped for violating the Wellness policy. It's unknown what he got suspended for (I just thought the headline was fruit that was too low-hanging to pass up), as this hasn't even been announced by the company yet. But yeah, it's working its way backstage according to PWI.

Also suspended, and confirmed, is Mike Chioda. A referee getting snipped for Wellness may seem surprising, but if you had to drop to the mat several times a match a couple of times a night, you'd develop lingering pains too.

Commercials on PPV? Excuse Me While I Destroy My Living Room in Rage




One of last night's unwanted sponsors
Commercials on a pay-per-view, contrary to popular belief, aren't anything new. We've been seeing them for years. However, they're usually spots that don't really feel like commercials, mainly because they're either advertising an upcoming WWE event, a WWE Films endeavor or a new wrestler, like the spots for, say, Kharma that appeared on PPVs in the early part of this year portended. A lot of times, they're needed to space out set-ups between matches, and more often than not, they've got some value, either in showcasing the excellence that the WWE production department deals in or in the utter unintentional hilarity of the content, which was more the case back in the '90s when really everything the then-WWF did had some modicum of unintentional hilarity to it.

So, why should it matter that there were pre-produced commercials at SummerSlam last night from third party advertisers? Foremost, I feel like it's a matter of principle. Having advertisers pay for spots on the card, especially ones that have run in the past like the godawful Twix commercial, defeats the purpose of pay-per-view. More often than not, the commercials on regular TV are grating, uninformative and bordering on pedantic and overexposed. They're a necessary evil, allowing us to watch weekly televised wrestling for the price of our cable bill. But the point of paying for extra content is that we get nothing but first-run WWE-produced viewing, or at the very least, first-run matches with recap packages that we may or may not have seen before preceding them.

Let's face it. Commercials in general are annoying. It's very rare to find a company like Geico that produces advertisements that are entertaining enough to warrant a break in the action. The only sponsor WWE has right now that produces anything worth watching between segments is Sonic, and even then, I wouldn't want to see them advertising when I pay money to stay away from those kinds of things. It's a slap in the face of the paying customer when they're told they have to pay full price and see that WWE is running spots, assumed at a cost to the advertiser, that they're paying to avoid.

The most reasonable expectation here is that they had to pay Cee-Lo Green, and instead of passing the cost down to the consumer by hiking the price of the event, they probably ran spots. Okay, that makes it a little more palatable until you realize that they probably had to add the commercials to pay for a guy who probably shouldn't have been there in a performing capacity anyway. Seriously, for about twenty minutes, SummerSlam was veritably unwatchable. For an event that actually delivered on nearly every other thing it offered, it was surreal to say the least. Plunk that sequence down on another PPV, like, I don't know, Capitol Punishment, and it would have been unforgivable on the level of using the Avada Kevadra curse, although quite frankly, I find the idea of Kevin Dunn having to share a cell in Azkaban Prison with a gnarled Death Eater tickles me pink.

Seriously, premium content means that you shouldn't have to sit through the insipid pitches for products or movie trailers. For better or worse, WWE pay-per-views are premium content, especially in the last two months and in a general sense over the last two years. I don't want to pay however much I'm paying for a PPV and have to watch the same weaksauce Twix commercial that I have to sit through 20 times a night Mondays during RAW. Quite frankly, I shouldn't have to either.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Heath Slater Accused of Assault




Photo Credit: WWE.com
Via Atlanta Journal-Constitution

Heath Slater has been accused of assaulting a female security guard in Atlanta the morning after WrestleMania on April 4. The guard accused Slater of propositioning her for sex, and when she refused, choking her to the point where she had to wrestle out of the grip and escape. Slater denies the accusation, saying he was with his fiancee at the time of the alleged assault. The report was not filed until June 22nd, mainly because of consultation and other legal wrangling.

WWE spokesman Jerry McDevitt had a very interesting response to this. When asked about the incident by local Atlanta news, he said "The alleged victim is making claims against Slater individually, and it’s being investigated. This has nothing to do with the WWE." Obviously, what he says seems cut and dried, but I feel like if I read between the lines there, it sounds like if anything comes of this, the WWE wouldn't be slow to cut ties with Slater.

It'll be interesting to see if anything comes from this, but it is a very bad situation for a company that has had employees getting into trouble this year. Granted, if Rock, John Cena, Michael Cole and CM Punk putting their feet in their mouths at various points are black eyes, this comes as a broken nose if anything else comes from it.

I did have one problem with the article. They referred to Slater as a "popular pro wrestler". That's an out-and-out lie, amirite?

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Truth, Heels and Gender Roles: Why Kelly Kelly Is the Real Diva Villain




The actions of an honorable woman?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
All Beth Phoenix wants is to be taken seriously. It's hard for her to do so when she's one of the few in a division who strive for that. When most of the Divas base their offense on how hot they are, or how well they can shake their asses, it can be hard for a legitimate female wrestler to ply her trade when all she wants to do is bust skulls. What was her repayment? She's painted as the villain, and furthermore, Kelly Kelly, the most egregious of the ass shakers and stink-facers, gave her the waylaying of a lifetime.

Coincidentally, K2 is considered the face of the Divas division.

While this may not seem "right", it has been the status quo in WWF/E for a long time to some degree. The heels were the ones who told the truth, often times uncomfortable, while the faces spun propaganda to some degree. This was no more evident than in the broadcast booth in the '80s and '90s, when Bobby Heenan and Jesse "The Body" Ventura would point out flaws in Hulk Hogan's or the Ultimate Warrior's games. Obviously, they were bad for a reason; they'd often ignore the misgivings of their bad guy counterparts, but this is nothing new for WWE.

However, the level at which this attacking of the truth, at least from an institutional level, seems to be a bit excessive from where I sit. Let's switch the narrative around a little bit. Instead of Beth wanting to turn the Divas away from looks, splits and booty-shaking, what if she came out and wanted to rid the Divas of politics and ass-kissing? She'd be CM Punk, right? CM Punk's a good guy, or at the very least, he's a fan favorite (which may still yet make him a bad guy if the fans are into that kind of thing), correct?

So, basically what the WWE is saying is that it's okay for the men to have real competition, but the ladies should be there to shake their asses. I'm no feminist, and believe me, I've gotten my fair share of erections looking at sexy photo shoots, but that's not kosher from where I sit, ESPECIALLY when the one company that does nearly everything WWE tries to do, only worse, gets it better than they do in this instance, even now when their women's division is at its worst. When Impact books women better than you, you have problems.

Even more troubling are the demographics for WWE. Apparently, 36% of the audience is female. That's not a trivial number, and it's one that needs to be catered to. That begs the question, what caters to women? Do you assume they're all vain and easily fooled by platitudes like being called "smart, sexy and powerful" without any evidence of that being the case, or do you assume they're real people who like real, three-dimensional characters, or at the very least, two-dimensional characters who can actually wrestle? The WWE thinks it's the former, but I'm going to make the not-so-wild assumption that 36% of their audience would like to see more of the latter.

So you can very much agree on why I feel like positioning Beth as a heel is a bad thing, right? Especially when the thing she's been fighting against was so expertly personified as a bad girl trait during LayCool's epic run on Smackdown. Strong women are good role models. Conversely, the woman with minimal wrestling skills maybe shouldn't be held as the paradigm. I mean, K2 uses the Stink Face, a move that was used by someone 300 lbs. her heavier. The girth was the efficacy, but now, it's reduced to lesbian homoerotica. While I'm not exactly going to argue that I dislike that kind of thing, I don't think it should be used in something that is being staged as legitimate competition. Then, in response, she Pearl Harbors Beth, partially out of retaliation for last week, but you could assume she was a bit miffed at the criticism. Then again, when did the good guy sneak attack someone? Oh yeah, that's right, it's SOP in WWE. No one fights with honor anymore. But I digress.

The point is, if the gender here was inverted, Beth Phoenix probably would be a folk hero. Instead, she's used as a monster to get over the paradigm that you need to be PRETTY PRETTY OH SO PRETTY to be a good girl in WWE (completely oblivious to the fact that there are people in the fandom, of which I'm a member, that think Beth is way hotter than Kelly). When you have a significant portion of women in the audience, especially impressionable youths, maybe it's time you start portraying the fairer sex as more than just pretty faces, fake tits and shrinking waistlines.

Monday, August 8, 2011

The Goofy Bad-ass: Reflecting on What Kurt Angle Was and What He Could Have Been




Pictured: Unrealized potential
Photo Credit: ImpactWrestling.com
Jason Mann and Joe Drilling were discussing the 2000 SummerSlam main event on last Wednesday's installment of the Wrestlespective Radio SummerSlam main event series. Towards the end, they got to talking about Kurt Angle, one of the participants in the match, and how his class clown character never really resonated with them until he eventually dropped the har-har part and got more serious, saying that it made him more of like a Honky Tonk Man quality to his first title reign in the fall of 2000, that he was always getting by by the skin of his teeth. While that was good for the Intercontinental Championship, they said it wasn't good for the World Title. I disagree with that to a point; I think a Honky Tonk World Champion would work, but it has limited shelf-life, if you smell what TH is cookin'.

But onto a greater point, I was then given a shoutout by Mann about how I was a fan of Angle's goofy badass character. Certainly, that iteration of Angle was my favorite, mainly because he made me laugh, but also because of the unique synergy that he had as being a wholly comedic character with the potential to tangle with the best of the lot due to his amazing wrestling ability and his legit amateur background. He hit both my wheelhouses, funny guys and great wrestlers. How could I not enjoy the hell out of him? I will admit to people not buying him until he stopped being funny and started using drugs in a super hardcore fashion to be ZOMG INTENZ!!!1

Honestly though, that's not a fault with Angle per se. You see, in WWF/E, people have roles, and those roles sometimes are so narrowly defined that if you put someone outside of the archetype just a little bit, Kevin Dunn's head may just explode and then Johnny Ace has to clean up the brain matter, or at least find Winston Wolf to do the job for him. And Vince hates when Johnny Ace has to clean up brain matter.

The funnier a wrestler you are, the more comically inept you are in the ring. Think about it. Santino Marella, despite having legit judo/wrestling chops, is relegated to the Superstars Zone despite being one of the most naturally talented guys at getting people to like him. Chris Jericho never fully broke through until he came back from hiatus and started calling the fans gelatinous tapeworms. The Rock made people laugh, but was there really anything comedic about his demeanor? The only exception here is Triple H, but at the same time, if all his attributes aren't maxed out to 99 at all times, he turns into a pumpkin. Or so I have read.

Honestly, that's why I feel like Angle was Honky Tonk Man, only basically impersonating himself circa 1996 rather than Elvis. WWE never felt comfortable taking the reins off him and letting him be a full on badass in the ring while being a jokester out of it. It would have made for a very interesting paradox in character, one that would have had so many different storytelling options without staying in the same stale boxes that WWF/E would keep guys in.

So basically, while Angle's credibility rose, at least my enjoyment of him declined as the years went on. It's to the point where yeah, the majority thinks he has great matches in Impact (For me, he's lost too much of his flair for psychology for me to say he always has good matches), but his character has been wholly drained of the panache that attracted me to him as a fan in the first place almost 12 years ago.

I get why pro wrestling, and sometimes, mainstream media on the whole, puts characters into archetypal boxes. For the most part, those archetypes are there because they're tried and true. However, Kurt Angle, the jokey ass-kicker, was a moldbreaker that had legs. It wasn't contrarian for the sake of being on the contrary. It was fresh and people latched onto it, whether it was the smarks like me who gravitated to him or the regular fans who wanted to see him get his ass kicked because of it. Sometimes you have to take a chance.

WWF/E could have taken a chance with Angle all those years ago, but instead, they didn't. You can argue over whether or not it was successful or not, and I'd say aside from the drug use that got him booted out of WWE, it was. But I can't help but wonder what could have been if Angle was allowed to develop as more than just an inept clown evolving into a more and more humorless legit wrestler.

The Love Lives of the Rich and Famous




Slut or not? I don't think that's our business.
Photo Credit: WWE.com
There was somewhat of a Tumblr brouhaha over the weekend between my Fair to Flair colleague Razor of House Kick-Out!! and Tumblr/Twitter devotee Tom Warren. You can get the full deal of what they were squabbling over by reading the thread linked, but the gist of it is basically an argument over whether slut-shaming of Melina is really appropriate. On one hand, there's the traditional hotness going around that Melina cheated on John Morrison with Batista and Mike Knox, with the implication that she was some kind of conniving or controlling bitch because Morrison kept taking her back. On the other, there's another rumor going around that they were in an open relationship, and that it's equally as likely that Morrison was plowing other chicks with the same lack of recourse that Melina was getting her freak on with other guys outside their exclusivity.

I'm refraining from taking a side on this matter because mainly, we're speculating on rumors here, and not even rumors about what might be going on in the business, but what was going on in their love lives. I don't know, but I feel like unless people come out and start openly talking about what's going on in their personal lives, it's something that should be off-limits to speculation. To the best of my knowledge, everything that's come out about Melina has been through reports in dirtsheets and rumors that have been passed down the grapevine on the Internet, specifically through social media nowadays. This isn't a condemnation of social media at all, but more or less a statement of fact that Twitter and the like have made it easier for this kind of thing to disseminate, with the implication that it was going to get out there anyway. But I digress.

So now, we're sitting here making judgments on Melina, Morrison or really anyone they've been associated with based on rumors that may or may not be true. I don't know if they were exclusive when she "cheated" on him or if they were in an open relationship. So, how does that make me any better than Randy Orton when he went on the radio and basically implied that Kelly Kelly was a swampwhore who slept with anything with a pulse and a prick if I started making judgment, favorable or otherwise? It would make me worse since I have no firsthand knowledge of the situation.

Now, I'm not condemning either Razor or Tom here, because it's human nature to gossip. We all get caught up in rumors and talking about the airing of dirty laundry from time to time, and the fact that it was done interpersonally on Tumblr makes it all forgivable seeing as none of it was really passed off as news. I also realize that any sort of attempt at trying to get society on the whole to stop worrying about what people do on their own time is a futile effort, especially since sites like TMZ and publications like OK! Magazine are so firmly entrenched in our public narrative.

However, I'd like it if people at least made the attempt to keep the discourse away from the news in a way that would affect how they judge it, especially concerning the double standard that men who bang are somehow admirable while women who bang are the scum of the Earth. Speculating that Melina got fired because she's a "slut"? That's not journalism, that's borderline sexism from where I sit. If it's true she was fired for her proclivities in the bedroom? That makes WWE an incredibly sexist organization (although we probably could already figure that out anyway) and worthy of being called out by every group under the sun. That also goes for the rumors that Morrison's push being stalled more depended on him not standing up to Batista or Knox after the alleged cheating and not because he's a botch machine who can't cut a decent promo in the way that WWE seemingly is forcing him to do.

We recognize it's bad when Randy Orton speaks out of turn about a co-worker's love life. What does it say about us who comment on this without any of the knowledge an Orton might have? Whether Melina and Morrison have a good or bad relationship really is none of our business unless they decide to make it our business, and while I can understand and can't stop the offhand discussion of where this narrative takes us, I can totally condemn when it gets passed off as news, especially when we don't have the news to back it up.

Friday, August 5, 2011

WWE Chopping Block Report, Part 1

Adios, Masterpiece :(
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Five WWE Superstars have left the company, four by way of future endeavoring, one by way of quitting. The worst news is that more are reportedly forthcoming, which is terrible. I hate reporting on people losing their jobs, and I don't get why people pass that info along with such glee. It's news, but it's also people not being employed anymore. Here are the five that have been axed so far:

Gail Kim - She was the one who quit. She's been making a big fuss on Twitter about how unhappy she's been lately, and it seemed everything came to a head when she inexplicably eliminated herself in the Divas battle royale Monday. Well, apparently she quit after RAW Monday but waited until today to drop the knowledge. Oh well, she really hadn't done anything for me since coming back, especially after everyone pumped her up to be this great worker. I guess Kharma/Awesome Kong did all the heavy lifting in Impact, right? Plus, she quit, so she obviously didn't want to be there. I wouldn't be surprised to see her retire, since she's engaged to big deal TV chef Robert Irvine.

Melina - This is the least shocking firing ever. She's apparently been batshit crazy backstage, and constantly getting her boyfriend John Morrison in hot water because of the dumb stuff she said and did. Again, this is apparently and reputedly since I really don't have a whole lot of firsthand sources to go on for this. She really hadn't been featured for months either. Something tells me WWE will be better without her.

Vladimir Kozlov - I was a little bummed about this one. Kozlov had found a niche as a tag wrestler and a big Russian blockhead who got some comedy with culture-shock spots and the like. This also continues to prove that WWE really has missed the boat on featuring a tag division, since he was over by proxy of absorbing some of Santino's heat when they were Tag Champs. Oh well.

David Hart Smith - The rumblings are that he wants to do MMA. He's been training in it for months, so this is really not surprising either. Nothing more to say here either.

Chris Masters - This is the one I'm gutted most over. Really, he had come into his own as a worker, and every time he was featured on Superstars or Smackdown, he came through with a good to great match. He also was able to get over as a good guy without the benefit of any promo time whatsoever. Yeah, the jiggling pecs were a huge boon to him, but when that died down, he stayed somewhat over. Why? Because he knows how to engage a crowd and get them behind him in the ring. That is something that is invaluable and what a lot of current faces lack in the ring. Ugh, total miss the boat moment on him. Hopefully, he continues to wrestle, preferably in the indies, like I don't know, CHIKARA? Really bummed, man.

And again, there are more coming apparently. I fucking hate when WWE cleans house.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

When Announcers Stop Caring: Why Taz and Jerry Lawler Actively Hurt Their Products

"Not for nuttin' Tenay, but I ain't got
the slightest clue what's goin' on!"
Photo Credit: ImpactWrestling.com
I get why people don't like Michael Cole anymore. Trust me, I do, and I'm actually there myself. I hate that he talks over guys like Jim Ross or Josh Mathews who are passionate about trying to get the stories and the action in the ring over. He's entertaining at times, yes, but increasingly he's becoming more and more of a nuisance and a caricature rather than being the guy who tells the truth (which is really where heel color commentators excel... Bobby Heenan and Jesse Ventura ALWAYS told the truth, no matter how sordid it was).

That being said, I'll still take him over Jerry Lawler any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

I also get why people hate on Mike Tenay. I've been doing it ever since I started the blog (unless I was talking about his run in WCW as the knowledgeable foreign wrestling analyst, which was GREAT). A play-by-play announcer shouldn't have the level of knowledge that a regular mark fan does. It's okay to be surprised every once in awhile, but announcers are there to show a little bit of authority at least. Tenay doesn't show that. Plus I hate his tendencies to call moves by their abbreviation and then saying the words right after.

That being said, he's leagues better to me than his broadcast partner Taz. LEAGUES.

I can stomach bad announcing, even if it grates on me. Fine, you have annoying habits, or you call my favorite wrestler "boring". I can deal with that. But the one thing I really can't stand is not giving a shit. Seriously, how hard is it to be enthusiastic about selling the product you're calling? The announcer's job is to make sure things are conveyed and that there's a sense of excitement attached to the things happening in the ring. Generally speaking, if the guy who's there calling the action is apathetic, then why the hell should I feel anything other than malaise? Even worse, if the announcer can't be assed to pay attention to what's going on in the storylines, then why should I?

Big example of this occurred on Impact Thursday. Sting had told Immortal that he was a network executive just so he could cause some shenanigans during the telecast. Towards the end of the show, before the steel cage main event between Kurt Angle and Ken Anderson, Sting revealed that he lied about being an exec, causing a great bit of consternation amongst the main heel faction. There was a big deal made about it by Tenay and to an extent Taz. Minutes later, Taz made note that Sting made the match because he was a network exec. I can only imagine Tenay's off-camera facepalm was epic at the stunning lack of attention paid by Taz. The worst thing about it is that it happened on a taped show. They could have cut that audio out. Then again, it is Impact.

It's the same reason why I can enjoy Booker T even if he has obvious flaws. It doesn't take a critical analyst to tell that Booker really gets into calling the action, and even if his knowledge lacks sometimes, or he states the obvious or he doesn't have the snappy comeback to put Cole in his place, he has a joyful exuberance that makes him a million times better to listen to then even some technically "good" announcers. He makes me want to get into the match he calls.

Why can't WWE and Impact see that? I mean, Lawler is an iconic name, and Taz used to work for WWE, so obviously, he's gold in the eyes of Dixie and Co. But those are things that shouldn't determine who your broadcast team is. Diamond Dallas Page is also an iconic name, but he also seems to be a guy who'd jump at the chance to sit next to JR on RAW and call action. Booker's an iconic name, and he knows how to sell sizzle. Adam Pearce is an iconic name at the indie level, and when he got behind the mic in NWA Hollywood, he was perhaps the guy who did the best job out of anyone who called matches for them. It's not mutually exclusive to be a good broadcaster and a big name.

The broadcast booths of the mainstream wrestling companies need enemas. Even if a guy like Cole is kept, as irritating as he is, at least he gets behind his character. If he stayed and Lawler left, I'd be super happy. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be alone either.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Sin Cara Suspended for Wellness

On the shelf...
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Via WWE.com

When it rains, it pours it seems. Although the blame this clearly rests on his own shoulders, it seems another mishap has befallen Sin Cara in his WWE career, as he flunked a Wellness test. He's gone for 30 days, which it seems is the reason why he got stretchered out of the Allstate Arena last night. The offending substance was not disclosed, but here's where I remind you that steroids and HGH aren't the only things the WWE bans over.

Anyway, I think a 30 day vacation will do the former Mistico good. If you believe the dirtsheets (and I wouldn't blame you if you didn't), the front office is kinda ticked at him for being so damn botchy and not picking up the WWE style fast enough, as if the WWE style is something concrete. That is unless you want to argue to me that Sheamus and Rey Mysterio work exactly the same. He needs to sit back, watch some tapes and then hit the gym and run through spots with anyone who's willing so that when he comes back, he doesn't embarrass the people he's supposed to impress, if that's the case.

But that's enough speculation. The fact is he flunked a drug test, so he's on the sidelines. Hopefully, this is the last roadblock for him, because I'm all about the dude being exciting and bringing lucha libre to a wider audience.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

WWE Celebrating the 4th of July... in the Southern Hemisphere?

I could get used to seeing this every Fourth of July or on a date somewhere near there
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Eighteen years ago yesterday, the then-WWF held one of the most iconic events in the fed's history. Yokozuna held an open challenge to any American to see if they could bodyslam his 500+ lbs. frame on the USS Intrepid, docked in New York City. It was a foreigner looking to shame Americans on a national landmark, no less. While competitor after competitor failed, the final one, Lex Luger, manned up for the Red, White and Blue and slammed that smug sumo right on his ass. It was a special event for a special holiday, and even though Luger never materialized as the megastar Vince McMahon hoped he'd be after that, it still resonates through WWE's history as something special for a company that purports to love America.

In the grand tradition of that event, WWE spent Independence Day yesterday either doing house shows in or being en route to house shows in the Southern Hemisphere... wait, what? Yes, RAW was on tour in Australia, while Smackdown was gearing up to make South Africa their home for the next week. For a company that very much considers itself part of the heritage of this nation (and for better or worse, they definitely are), for them to tape a show to air on the 4th of July a week before and be out of the country on that date is a little disappointing. Granted, I don't think they should be called to the carpet and have Toby Keith feebly attempt to write a scathing song about their lack of patriotism, but I think on any working holiday they have, they should spend it in the States.

I don't know what the reasoning for their touring schedule was. Maybe it was coincidence. Maybe these were the only times that were convenient for them to visit Australia and South Africa. WWE is a global company, and I'm glad that they travel to all corners of the world. The more I have in common with people around the world, the easier it is for me to gain an audience on here or to talk about if/when I travel abroad. Yeah, I'm selfish. Deal with it.

The thing is, the WWE prides itself on being part of the American fabric. They proved it last night, with Sgt. Slaughter and Jack SWAGGAH~! fighting over the right to say the Pledge of Allegiance, or with their emphasis on honoring the military each year. It's baffling why they wouldn't want to celebrate the Fourth with their native fans.

I also want to say that I'm not mad at how things are. I mean, we got a really good show last night, and hey, when you boil it all down a date is a date, I guess. That people in other countries get to enjoy WWE is the important thing. At the same time though, I look back at that date on the Intrepid and think, wow, that was a great way to tie into the spirit of the holiday without looking too obsequious or patronizing to the country and the sense of patriotism we feel on that day. I knwo they won't deliver on that moment every year, but if they try (but not too hard), then maybe they have some kind of tradition that keeps going every year.

I dunno, I guess I have more pride in being an American than I thought. It's great that we share one of our longstanding producers of entertainment with the rest of the world. It really is. However, I can't help but feel a bit wistful when we don't get to have just one day for this country. Maybe it'd be a bit better if a top-line indie fed stepped up to fill that tradition, but either way, pro wrestling is something that we Americans do a certain way, and that tradition has become as American as baseball. I think WWE should step up and take that mantel for themselves.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Kevin Kelly Tries to Go America All Over Everybody's Asses, Fails

Sheamus and Santino prove Kelly wrong
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Former WWE commentator and current ROH/Lucha Libre USA announcer Kevin Kelly raised some eyebrows about the viability of foreign-born/-billed wrestlers as draws in WWE. I guess he has a bug up his ass about Sheamus or Wade Barrett getting main event pushes, or maybe he's just xenophobic. I'm not going to FJM him, because K. Sawyer Paul did it first and probably did it better than I could. Damn these snazzy bloggers with their quick triggers on doing FJM to shitty journalism/opinion writing! I will, however, take another angle with Kelly. He claims that foreign stars will never be big in WWE or in any sport in America:
Hulk Hogan, Rock and Stone Cold are household names. Macho Man is too. John Cena is close but the WWE is not what it was a few years ago and as a result, Cena is not a true household name with the American casual fan. Kids, yes but not adults. Bret Hart is close too but he was on top when the business was in the toilet. Not his fault but while Bret is super-over with hardcore fans, the business climate from his time at the top knocks him down a peg.
Emphasis there is mine. Let's forget for a second that Andre the Giant was perhaps the greatest draw in the regional era of wrestling. Let's forget that Bruno Sammartino, Antonino Rocca, Eduoard Carpentier, Ivan Koloff, Nikita Koloff, the Great Muta, Davey Boy Smith and even Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio (who, even though were born in America, have strong Mexican roots and could almost be considered "foreign" if you stretch the definition enough) all were super over and either drew money here or helped other guys draw money despite either being born in another country or billed from another land. No, Kelly's argument is flawed right from get-go one.

It really doesn't matter what the fuck Americans think about these foreign guys to an extent.

Kelly mentions the WWE's global initiative in the first paragraph, and then ignores that it exists when he rails against the WWE pushing them dirty foreigners here in the States. That's a dangerously ignorant thing to do, especially given how popular the WWE is in other countries (and conversely, how unpopular MMA and UFC are in some of those other countries... given how much UFC cuts into the WWE's PPV market and other demographics here, that's not trivial). If you're a company trying to make inroads into Ireland, wouldn't you want U2 on your side? Yeah? Okay, so then why is the WWE stupid for pushing Sheamus when they're trying to struggle for a market share in Ireland? Same with Wade Barrett in Britain or Alberto del Rio, Rey Mysterio and now Sin Cara in Mexico or even Great Khali in India.

The truth is, the world is turning into a global marketplace. Local business is being drowned out by Internet commerce and the wide reach of companies trying to use new media, new technology and the burgeoning global infrastructure to capture more and more viewers in places they have never reached before. Couple that with human nature of wanting to identify with people who looked, spoke, acted and had the same culture as they do, and it's a no-brainer to try and tap into each lucrative market.

The WWE has been trying, and succeeding, at cultivating a truly international product, for longer than they've had Sheamus, Barrett and the like on their roster. Kelly denigrates Bret Hart's impact on the business in that blockquoted snippet. While it was true that Hart was on top during a downturn in American business, he was super popular to foreign audiences. You could argue that the international money that Hart brought in helped keep the then-WWF with the resources and revenue that kept them in the same ballpark as WCW was with their Turner-backing.

Hell, and if they get over with American audiences too, which if Kelly would take his head out of his xenophobic ass, he'd notice that they are, then it's gravy. Hell, look at the guys who get the loudest face reactions at any WWE show. John Cena is American, Rey Mysterio is a stylized Mexican and Santino Marella is billed from Calabria, Italy. Three superstars, three countries.

If Kevin Kelly has an axe to grind with WWE, he might as well go about doing so with a better argument, because this one is not rooted in fact or honesty. If he wants to spout that kind of jingoism, let him go on Fox News. It's not needed nor is it welcome in a place where we as wrestling fans not only embrace guys like Sheamus, Barrett, Mysterio and the like, but know full well that their place in the business side of things is very important as well, even if in a wholly hypothetical situation, my fellow Americans spend zero percent of their ticket to see anyone not billed as 100% American, something which has been proven to be patently false.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!