Thursday, April 28, 2011
throwback Thursdays. Installment #3.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Yes Obama is an American. A model Citizen? Nope.
Take notes. Barack Obama is in Fact an American:
In yo' face Donald. |
Barack said it best: "Over the last two and a half years, I have watched with bemusement; I have been puzzled at the degree to which this thing just kept on going."
Barrack's primary foe, none other than Donald Trump, who is interested in succeeding Obama as head of state, has been the catalyst in ensuring the presidents citizenship is in fact American. He seems to be on a wild goose chase as Obama has produced his birth certificate. The constitution requires that presidents be "natural-born" Americans.
I don't understand how this is even the Donald's biggest concern, if he were an astute internet peruser he would have already come across Baracka Flocka Flame incriminating himself. He is a American political pundits dream. Good way to attract the younger vote but he may be turning off the geezers with this one.
Labels:
gangster sh*t,
Obama,
the media machine
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Can't forget about the TGIF lineup.
Fact of the matter is, unless you're an absolutely uncommon pre-teen, on Friday nights you were usually in the house around 8 parked in front of the rear projection boob tube to watch TGIF. You all know what I'm talking about. Corey and Tepenga, Steve Urkel and Laura Winslow, Will and Lisa. It's really too bad kids these days don't have the same quality programing to tune into as my generation did. Maybe that's why they are all sucking members and running into store fronts while texting and driving. Fact: quality pre-teen to young adult programing can posi+ively influence the actions of an entire generation in a beneficial manner. Tell me these theme songs don't bring you down memory lane:
If you can't sing the words to this song what does that say about you? Here's my take: You are a jabrony.
My first real crush was Tepenga. Such big cans, great proportion
Monday, April 25, 2011
Audio Asphyxiation.
Not much going on in music this last week. Do you ever notice that music all new music (primarily records) come out @ the same time? Too much ebbing and flowing for me. I'm sure creating the demand benefits the record companies but around this time in the valley portion of the graph I begin to get inpatient.
Labels:
entertainment,
gangster sh*t,
music,
the media machine
Daily Clip--->Reminder to myself: Don't forget Mother's day.
Mothers day is in 2 weekends, on the weekend of the 7th. Here is a lovely song you could play for the lovely mothers in your lives.
Respekt.
If you like the blog, follow it.
When I was a kid we walked to school up hill both ways.
I was flicking through the stations last week and I came across a show that in many ways defined my childhood:
Children's television must be so hard to write. The scripts are obviously written by "grown ups" who have to have a very vivid imagination. I picture Mr. Rogers sitting beside Mr. dress up and scheming on how they are going to depict a nativity scene that will teach kids not to litter while still having a fun time treking to the grabage can 10 feet away. It's a tough sell but these shows still manage to instill morals in kids and parent them. Here are a couple other shows that bring back such vivid memories from my childhood.
Children's television must be so hard to write. The scripts are obviously written by "grown ups" who have to have a very vivid imagination. I picture Mr. Rogers sitting beside Mr. dress up and scheming on how they are going to depict a nativity scene that will teach kids not to litter while still having a fun time treking to the grabage can 10 feet away. It's a tough sell but these shows still manage to instill morals in kids and parent them. Here are a couple other shows that bring back such vivid memories from my childhood.
Did I miss anything or have I covered all the bases of the GOOD cartoons from my era???
Labels:
cartoons,
gr,
learning is cool,
nostalgia
Thursday, April 21, 2011
THE ELEPHANT MAN
So I have recently begun a swap deal with a movie fanatic at work. She and I are kindreds that are only 25 years apart. On a weekly basis we will loan each other at least one movie a week and come back and share our interpretation/thoughts on the movie. Basically a mini book club of two (but replace reading with watching)
She loaned me “The Elephant Man” which, to my chagrin, I had never really heard of (and I call myself a cinema aficionado-FOR SHAME!) I watched it last night, having very little idea of what it was about.
Let me break it down:
An up-and-coming English doctor hears of an ‘Elephant Man’ in a traveling freak show. He pays the sleazy owner to see the deformed human when the show is shut down-due to complaints and a poor health code. The doctor is appalled and intrigued by the man. He shows him to the medical community and then decides to keep him in the hospital. Word spreads and the high-class folk want to go spend time with the Elephant Man-AKA John Merrick at the hospital. They soon discover that he is sweet, intelligent, and a learned man, despite the fact that his previous situation of poverty and mistreatment.
There are some random spurts of antagonists throughout the movie (guys who want to profit off John’s physical misfortune, and beat him because they are super-a-hole douche bags who CLEARLY have no soul)
The ending kills me. John Merrick yearns to be like everybody else. He can’t even do the simple things. He can’t even lie down to go to sleep because of the massiveness/weight of his head could impair his breathing issues and impede his already dwindling health. And while those closest to him know that he is dying treat him with such care, and he more than verbalizes his appreciation and love for his new blossoming life, decides to do what is so common to all others---ATTEMPTS TO LAY DOWN AND SLEEP, TO NEVER WAKE UP.
It was really quite an excellent show. I was completely fascinated by it, so I look it up on Wikipedia this morning—the movie did a very good job to try to stick to his actual story…the makeup for 1980 was fantastic and did a bomb depiction of John Merrick. But snap, a lot of the trouble he went through was brutal, and the way they captured this poor man’s attitude was wonderful. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE-it very deservedly was nominated for Best Picture. Sigh, go rent it. Real good.
She loaned me “The Elephant Man” which, to my chagrin, I had never really heard of (and I call myself a cinema aficionado-FOR SHAME!) I watched it last night, having very little idea of what it was about.
Let me break it down:
An up-and-coming English doctor hears of an ‘Elephant Man’ in a traveling freak show. He pays the sleazy owner to see the deformed human when the show is shut down-due to complaints and a poor health code. The doctor is appalled and intrigued by the man. He shows him to the medical community and then decides to keep him in the hospital. Word spreads and the high-class folk want to go spend time with the Elephant Man-AKA John Merrick at the hospital. They soon discover that he is sweet, intelligent, and a learned man, despite the fact that his previous situation of poverty and mistreatment.
There are some random spurts of antagonists throughout the movie (guys who want to profit off John’s physical misfortune, and beat him because they are super-a-hole douche bags who CLEARLY have no soul)
The ending kills me. John Merrick yearns to be like everybody else. He can’t even do the simple things. He can’t even lie down to go to sleep because of the massiveness/weight of his head could impair his breathing issues and impede his already dwindling health. And while those closest to him know that he is dying treat him with such care, and he more than verbalizes his appreciation and love for his new blossoming life, decides to do what is so common to all others---ATTEMPTS TO LAY DOWN AND SLEEP, TO NEVER WAKE UP.
It was really quite an excellent show. I was completely fascinated by it, so I look it up on Wikipedia this morning—the movie did a very good job to try to stick to his actual story…the makeup for 1980 was fantastic and did a bomb depiction of John Merrick. But snap, a lot of the trouble he went through was brutal, and the way they captured this poor man’s attitude was wonderful. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS MOVIE-it very deservedly was nominated for Best Picture. Sigh, go rent it. Real good.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
"A smart, middle class black kid's Role model."
Labels:
being cool,
childish gambino,
culdesac,
gangster sh*t,
music
The decision Revisited.
Now that we have entered the NBA's second season it's important to remember the moves that were made during the offseason that shaped every teams landscape for the 2010-2011 season. The most discussed topic was Lebron James's decision to join his counterparts Dwayne Wade and Chris Bosh in Miami.
I personally am a huge Lebron fan, mostly because of his ability to beast whatever he chooses to on the basketball court, but after his decision to leave Cleveland I lost interest in seeing him succeed. I wanted to see him win on his own, and I think that he would have certainly done it in his career, but alas he chose a different route. The goals are set inkredibly high for the Heat, and rightfully so with all that talent. The Heat will leave the Sixers in their wake, but how will they fare against the beasts in the East? And for those of you Hockey fans out there; watch some basketball occasionally, it's pretty entertaining.
Consequently after this commercial released, Brett Favre stared in a very similar campaign.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Audio Asphyxiation.
The Journey of Mr. Rager.
For my 23rd birthday, in 2009, thanks for the birthday wishes, and for those of you who gave me none, FUCK YOURSELF, I went to Toronto to see Kid Cudi perform. Other than having to spend some time dodging a strange tweenage girl the concert was Amazzzing. Cudi is very engaging and entertaining. Man on the Moon II came out in late 2010 and the album is great. Here is an in depth look into the making of the album.
3D Porno. Do you recycle the glasses afterwards?.
For those of you who have seen Drive ANgry with Nicholas Cage you know how wikkid 3D titties are; they look so much more scrumptious than their 2D counterparts.
On opening day sex and zen, which is shot entirely in 3D grossed 2.78 million Hong Kong $'s in comparison to 2.5 million HKD's which Avatar grossed it's Opening day in China. This says a lot about pornography. Wildest thing in my opinion is that you sit in a sold out theatre elbow to elbow with a stranger watching the dark arts. Take a look @ the trailer and let me know what you guys think. I personally would LOVE to watch skin flicks entirely in 3D. IMO it's even worth the headache and the constant glasses re-adjustment. It just cums with the territory.
On opening day sex and zen, which is shot entirely in 3D grossed 2.78 million Hong Kong $'s in comparison to 2.5 million HKD's which Avatar grossed it's Opening day in China. This says a lot about pornography. Wildest thing in my opinion is that you sit in a sold out theatre elbow to elbow with a stranger watching the dark arts. Take a look @ the trailer and let me know what you guys think. I personally would LOVE to watch skin flicks entirely in 3D. IMO it's even worth the headache and the constant glasses re-adjustment. It just cums with the territory.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Throwback Thursdays. Installment #2.
This last video is simply because of the BOOTY.
Labels:
music,
nostalgia,
sexx,
throwback thursdays
Daily Clip--->Jerzday. Well actually not really. Better.
This dudes name is Dom Mazzetti and he appears to be Italian. I cannot be 100% sure of his lineage but I do know he is a hoot. I really need to step my Youtube game up and do something that will really get peoples attention. Capitalize on a trend or something. Either way with summer quickly approaching usually this time of year would mean improving your resume, only after your mom tells you to of course, and sending it out to potential employers. Here is the ultimate blueprint.
Labels:
daily clip,
funny,
learning is cool,
work
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Filling some requests.
The internet is a really big place and because of it's massive girth it is not easy to find all of the coolest things on this wonderful machine. Fortunately I have good friends who keep me posted on some cool ass sh*t. Case in point these two videos. #1 getting into your pants the ultra sleek way. #2 a less than stellar day for me but what appears to be a normal day for these German fellas. That's right, a little bit more German on What up? What's happening?
Old school term, props to Beazley and Justin Beiber's double. Holler.
Old school term, props to Beazley and Justin Beiber's double. Holler.
Monday, April 11, 2011
Going HAM on the Cool Kids.
This video is funny on so many levels. These guys may not be household names, but those who go out of the way to follow them and enjoi their entertainment are never disappointed. Houston Oilers varsity jacket is disgusting.
Labels:
cool kids,
entertainment,
funny,
music
Star Studed Stupidity. Spectaular.
I dunno about you guys but I like dumb stuff. I'm always going to be a grown ass kid. Growing up is worse than no reason boners in high school when girls we're grossed out by stiffy's. This movie looks so inkredible and will provide the mindless dribble my psyche so ferociously craves. The cast includes Will Ferrell, Jack Black, Danny Mcbride, John C. Reilly and Seth Rogan. Put this on your list of must see's and potential Oscar winners.
Daily Clip---> Freshness.
I like shoes. This video is about said like. Keep your eyes peeled for the Ken Griffey Cameo, FIRE. And for those of you who are not down with cool kids, get down.
Labels:
advertising,
daily clip,
entertainment
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Girls Play Football?
Apparently they do. Now I had never heard of the LFL until today. It stands for the "Lingerie Football League". Yeah that's right.
Lingerie Football League.
Lingerie.
Basically a bunch of well endowed scantily clad women try to rip each other's heads off to put a ball across a line and score points. Watching it is rather brutal and I can't say I'm a fan of seeing chicas being so rough...but sometimes a missed hit is involved and this is the result:
TAGS: hot women chicas LFL lingerie football league hot hawt big booty women
Lingerie Football League.
Lingerie.
Basically a bunch of well endowed scantily clad women try to rip each other's heads off to put a ball across a line and score points. Watching it is rather brutal and I can't say I'm a fan of seeing chicas being so rough...but sometimes a missed hit is involved and this is the result:
TAGS: hot women chicas LFL lingerie football league hot hawt big booty women
Mystery.
I have something in the works that will make Harry Houdini look like a clown dick bought from the jerk store.
Everyday Sunday.
This video has over 22 million hits on Youtube. That's wild, like Wendy Williams. TRUST ME YOU DON"T WANNA MISS THIS VIDEO. I got you.
Daily Clip---> Epic Meal Time Deleted Scenes Vol. Dos.
I hope you guys have noticed that I have a hard on for these guys @ EpicMealTime. The blood gets rushing to my head because they're hilarious. They don't swing and miss in anything they do. Actually, they do, but even their strikeouts are entertaining. Illustrated Example.
If you guys didn't get a chance to check out the 1st deleted scenes video check it out here: http://musclesglasses.blogspot.com/2011/03/daily-clip-epic-meal-time-they-dont.html
Which is funnier? You be Simon Cowell on this one.
If you guys didn't get a chance to check out the 1st deleted scenes video check it out here: http://musclesglasses.blogspot.com/2011/03/daily-clip-epic-meal-time-they-dont.html
Which is funnier? You be Simon Cowell on this one.
Labels:
CANADA,
daily clip,
EPIC MEAL TIME,
funny
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The Chemical Brothers...thankin' you
So while the jury is still out on HANNA(its action was INSANE and it kept me in my seat the whole time, and yet I still left wondering WTF to a lot of the story ploy or lack there of in some parts) But what I can say about HANNA with no hesitation, is that the soundtrack was AMAZIN!'
I recently became slightly obsessed with TRON: LEGACY sountrack, to whic I still am loving Daft Punk. But The Chemical Brothers threw in all kinds of crazy mixes that make you yourself wanna go out and assasinate all kinds of special ops/run a marathon/do something totally illegal 'cause the music just gets your heart racing in a good way.
If I could describe it, I would say its music is a repetive beat of sexy/tech rock. I dunno if that makes sense, but that seems to be the underlying tone of the show.
In HANNA, her dad (played by the always super deletable Eric Bana) says that music is,
"a combination of sounds with a view to beauty of form and expression of emotion."
Totally Eric, totally. This soundtrack epitomizes this definition. I totally gave in and spent $10 on iTunes to satisfy my craving for my newest running mix. Awwww yeah!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
UNSTOPPABLE----What a total LIE!
This last Friday, I saw Unstoppable-after many a peep gushed over this said show for months/weeks. Not gonna lie, it did hold my attention for a good hour and a half. I was freaking out after attempt after attempt failed to STOP THAT TRAIN! I was feeling for the 2 main characters, yearning for the uber smoking Chris Byne to heal his beautiful foot, and for Denzel to get a fat bonus for saving the city of Scranton from chaos and toxic crap.
Throughout the entire show, I thought to myself,
'WHY DO I NOT REMEMBER THIS INCIDENT WHEN IT HAPPENED?"
Well, I decided to do some research....these are the facts:
- the unstoppable train actually occured in OHIO.
- the idiot who jumped off to change the track at the beginning, and set the train to cruise-worked there for 35 years prior. He wasn't some chubby new guys making a boo boo. And guess what? He wasn't fired.
- There was no actual duo that saved the day. There was 1 dude that stopped the train, and the train wasn't gonna crash into anything--it was just going forever and ever.
- There was no horrible boss guy threatening to fire anyone/girl transportation director who was rewarded for doing nothing (the only thing I WAS happy about after I found out that my exciting train ride was super over hyped in the movie)/awesome truck driver with ponytail.
- The train was stopped by another train (there was SOME truth, but no one got on until the train was going only 11 mph) No jumping on, no car chases along the train.
- The train was only going 70 mph, not 80...I feel like that is significant difference (be it only 10 mph less) there were 47 cars, and only 22 cars had anything on it--a few being the toxic stuff.
THE MORAL OF THIS STORY, HOLLYWOOD IS---DON'T SAY 'BASED ON A TRUE STORY" WHEN IT REALLY WAS INSPIRED BY SUPER PATHETIC NEGLEGENCE. You broke my heart, I was really thinking this was similar in truth to Secretariat, King's Speech, Seabiscuit, and Walk The Line.
TEAR- I still love you Chris Pyne. You're pretty.
Flying 2 x 4 Through Car Windshield
A woman was driving down the highway, following a truck hauling a trailer, when all of a sudden, it kicks up a 2 x 4 piece of wood that was lying on the ground. Watch this shocking video to see what happened. This really is quite amazing, for nobody was hurt, thankfully.
As seen on Ray William Johnson's =3
As seen on Ray William Johnson's =3
Eva Longoria Nip Slip on the LATE SHOW
Eva Longoria is fine as hell. So when she has a nip slip on live television, we are all over that s**t. She showed up to the Late Show wearing nothing but a tuxedo jacket and shorts that are so short they could be confused for a thick belt. Apparently, during the interview, the only button holding the jacket together broke as verified by her exclaiming "My button!" and... aw, you really don't care what happened, do you? You'd rather see it for yourself. Well here you go:
Skip to 3:16 for the nip slip. Or watch the whole thing. Eva's legs are some great eye candy.
Best Umbrellas EVAR
Here's a good time waster:
The most creative and BA umbrellas we've ever seen.
The most creative and BA umbrellas we've ever seen.
The Eco Umbrella--For all the Green Heads out there
How to say "F U" in public very obviously
The Force is strong with this one
The way of the Samurai? Or do you prefer western weaponry?
For the gangsters who want to stay dry.
Um...IDK, it has nudity in it. Thumbs up for that.
Old Woman in Georgia Shuts off Internet in 2 Countries
A 75 year old woman was digging for scrap metal in her yard when she uncovered a fiber optic cable that apparently was a main artery in the internet system running through the countries of Georgia and Armenia. Thinking that the cable was valuable, the old woman dug it up and decided to keep the cable. Thousands were without internet for a few hours.
OH NOz! NO FACEBOOK OR TWITTER OR INCREDIBLE EDIBLE INTERNET FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR!?!?!?
"THE HORROR!"
Read more about it HERE
OH NOz! NO FACEBOOK OR TWITTER OR INCREDIBLE EDIBLE INTERNET FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR!?!?!?
"THE HORROR!"
Read more about it HERE
Getting the Hypest sh*t onto your Itunes. If you use anything other than Itunes to play music, You're dumb. Sidebar.
Many of you may be wondering why I am so cool? That question is unanswerable. A question that is answerable is how do I get the wikkid music from this blog onto my computer? A couple of months ago I was introduced to this technology that allows you to convert youtube vidoes to mp3 files. Simply copy the URL from youtube into the box, not vagina, @ http://www.vidtomp3.com/index.php and click download. Click download when the new page loads. The file will transfer directly to your Itunes.
Throwback Thursdays. Installment #1.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Slow News Day: Y-Answer Fails
There are not really any big news stories today. Even Phillip DeFranco couldn't dish out anything interesting. So instead, we're going to occupy your attention with some Yahoo Answer Fails!
Some People are stupid and can't do math...
see more The Art of Trolling
HOLY CRAP!!! ACTUAL NEWS!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Some People are stupid and can't do math...
see more The Art of Trolling
HOLY CRAP!!! ACTUAL NEWS!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
1st Date Advice
Because we are all desperate losers who spend all our time on the internet and don't get too many opportunities to fraternize with the opposite sex, my man Link has provided us with some advice to take into account when going on 1st dates.
Legend of Zelda Medley
This one goes out to all of our Legend of Zelda fans out there. Our man jimmy put together this musical compilation and reproduced the most famous tunes from the video game franchise. Special guest appearance includes Freddie Wong!
I couldn't not put this up.
Whatever Tracy Morgan is on, I want some too. Seriously, no matter how hard it is. This looks like it's the best time anyone could ever have.
Throwback thursdays.
I've decided I like music. I made this realization today. It's been a long time coming. I'm willing to call music my girlfriend, cause I've caught feelings and I can no longer have her be only my fuck buddy. I wanna reminisce over her. Thursday on What up? What's Happening? will now be called Throwback thursday. Fuck Jerzday. I didn't mean that. If you guys have any suggestions or requests please let me know what you want to see and hear. So many possibilities. What will be on tap tomorrow???
Labels:
music,
rules and regulations,
throwback thursdays
Daily Clip---> Sugar Shack. Muscles Glasses, type sick Alias.
Labels:
daily activities,
EPIC MEAL TIME,
food,
funny
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Trials of Muscles Glasses
The Epic Meal Time crew goes on a mission to take MusclesGlasses back to his roots. They meet up with his father who cooks up an epic meal fit for a lumberjack and makes MG eat it to prove whether or not MG is worthy of being called his son.
New Found Respect for Fergie
After the the atrocity that was the half-time show during the Super Bowl, I have now regained respect for Fergie. She wore a dress made out of Legos to the Kids Choice Awards last Saturday (April 2, 2011). Way-to-go Fergie. Your dress beats out Ke$ha's trash bag dress and Lady Gaga's meat dress all day of every day.
'Finally Miley' Sells Out in 48 Hours
Ah, America. A country filled with thousands of lonely b******s who have nothing better to do than make love to latex. Now that Miley is 18 and legal, the public (and by public, I mean desperate, lonely men who live in their mom's basements) has demanded everything sexual from Miley Cyrus--including a sex doll. This so-called "lifelike" doll was in so great a demand, in fact, that it sold out in sex shops and online within 48 hours of its release. The doll named "Finally Miley" boasts three "achy love holes" to satisfy any crazy and disgusting fantasies you've ever had with Miley. For some reason, legal action hasn't been been taken yet on Miley's side, but rumors have been circulating around the internet that the lawsuits may fly very soon.
This isn't really news, just something that will probably make you LOL. I will not be coving this in the future.
If you want to order one of these things, just search it in Google Shopping or check it out at this LINK.
Horny Legos
Here at the Incredible Edible Internet, we love Legos. We played with them as a kid. We built cities, cars, Star Wars figues, we did it all...or so we thought. We sure as hell didn't do this as a kid. This Lego stop motion video shows that apparantly, Legos have sex lives that cause them peril. Just goes to show that abstinence is always the best way to keep accidents from happening (if you know what I mean!). Watch the video, you'll catch my drift
More GanstER sh*t.
It's the best when you can pinpoint the first time you heard a song and it brings back vivid memories. Americaz Nightmare came out when I was in grade 12, such good times. This is way too gangster for me in all facets, thats why I like it.
We all love to mean mug and get Mighty GangstER. Gangster spelt with an ER.
Daily Clip---> Fainting Goats, controversial, seriously. Look it up.
You all know when you're about to fall asleep, in let's say, your chair, like I do @ work everyday from 2-2:20, and you twitch or make a very spastic movement and almost punch your neighbor square in the nose or worse, punch yourself in the pecker?
This is called the Mycolonic twitches:
Myoclonus ( /maɪˈɒklənəs/) is brief, involuntary twitching of a muscle or a group of muscles. It describes a medical sign and, generally, is not a diagnosis of a disease. The myoclonic twitches are usually caused by sudden muscle contractions; they also can result from brief lapses of contraction. Contractions are called positive myoclonus; relaxations are called negative myoclonus. The most common time for people to encounter them is while falling asleep (hypnic jerk), but myoclonic jerks are also a sign of a number of neurological disorders.Hiccups are also a kind of myoclonic jerk specifically affecting the diaphragm. Also when a spasm is caused by another person it is known as a "provoked spasm". Shuddering attacks with babies also fall in this category.
Pretty intriguing stuff isn't it? Personally, I twitch aggressively when I'm heading into the dream world. Fainting goats and twitching humans reside in the same category of disorder, although twitching isn't quite as serious. Here's the picture. You're a Billy goat, you're on the run, and you are the direct pray of a famished Liger. A liger is a mixture of a Lion and Tiger. Supplementary research required if you wanna find out how G'd up this animal is. Back to the canvas. You're adrenaline is pumpong, but you need to calm this adrenaline ASAP. Tough luck, you're a fainting goat, you're genetics get the best of you and you experience temporary rigor mortis. You wake up murdered. Game over. Fainting goats were not initially the novelty they are today. They were breed because their muscles don't atrophy, therefore their muscles don't atrophy so they are leaner for slaughter. PETA is not to happy about these goats, and the term un-natural selection is associated with their "gift". On a side note, how cute is this BONUS video:
This is called the Mycolonic twitches:
Myoclonus ( /maɪˈɒklənəs/) is brief, involuntary twitching of a muscle or a group of muscles. It describes a medical sign and, generally, is not a diagnosis of a disease. The myoclonic twitches are usually caused by sudden muscle contractions; they also can result from brief lapses of contraction. Contractions are called positive myoclonus; relaxations are called negative myoclonus. The most common time for people to encounter them is while falling asleep (hypnic jerk), but myoclonic jerks are also a sign of a number of neurological disorders.Hiccups are also a kind of myoclonic jerk specifically affecting the diaphragm. Also when a spasm is caused by another person it is known as a "provoked spasm". Shuddering attacks with babies also fall in this category.
Pretty intriguing stuff isn't it? Personally, I twitch aggressively when I'm heading into the dream world. Fainting goats and twitching humans reside in the same category of disorder, although twitching isn't quite as serious. Here's the picture. You're a Billy goat, you're on the run, and you are the direct pray of a famished Liger. A liger is a mixture of a Lion and Tiger. Supplementary research required if you wanna find out how G'd up this animal is. Back to the canvas. You're adrenaline is pumpong, but you need to calm this adrenaline ASAP. Tough luck, you're a fainting goat, you're genetics get the best of you and you experience temporary rigor mortis. You wake up murdered. Game over. Fainting goats were not initially the novelty they are today. They were breed because their muscles don't atrophy, therefore their muscles don't atrophy so they are leaner for slaughter. PETA is not to happy about these goats, and the term un-natural selection is associated with their "gift". On a side note, how cute is this BONUS video:
Travels Germany Vol III.
I was just cleaning/perusing my emails and realized that I have been M.I.A. for quite some time now, and for that I thoroughly apologize. The long and short of it is that I didn't have much to report for a couple of weeks, a lot of boring routine and as unbelievable as it is you can slip into routine even in a foreign land when every day has potential to be an inKredible adventure.
Athletes for Days. |
When asked by someone "Do you want to hear the bad news or good news first?" I always pick the bad news first, the blow is usually softened by the good news that follows. I will start with the standard house keeping stuff and then hit you all with the knockout punch afterwards. Football is going well. It becomes very frustrating at times when you only have 18 people at practice, not even enough to scrimmage offense vs. defense and you really feel that you're working backwards and accomplishing nothing. It's tough to go from a University practice where you have 80 bodies at practice a coach at every position and a well structured plan of attack for the week to where I am @ now. That being said I've started to realize that the teams our team will be competing against are in the same routine and that our team will not get molly whopped by a vastly superior opponent. Speaking of vastly superior opponents, our team scrimmaged against a division 1 team a couple of weeks ago, we got splayed out but were able to really recognize our strength and weaknesses; our offensive line is rubbish. It was a glaring problem, GLARING. It was a problem that was solved by recruiting a couple of beasts from the City of Lubeck's other team. I'm very grateful for these new players because as the quarterback, who used to be a somewhat ignorant defensive back, I've started to realize once again how an offensive line is the backbone to a good offense. This football diatribe is only necessary because football is the vessel that has allowed me to get the new world experience I am so fortunate to have right now and for that reason I feel obligated to provide a brief summary of my football life.
My new roommate/teammate/hombre came in about 3 weeks ago now. Obviously there was potential for him to be a d-bag but the stars seem to have aligned and he is a stand up guy. It's nice to have some company and someone who is the same exact mind state and place in life that I am in. He's from Chicago and has a succinct Mid-Western twang. He is impressed that i don't say "Eh" and that I have knowledge of American landscape, history and politics. He is a well educated guy who graduated last year like myself and has so very little knowledge of anything Canadian. It's becoming more and more obvious to me that America as a country has no interest in anything that isn't American. It's not Rick (My roommate's) fault that he knows so little about Canada, it's the school system and Media in America's fault. America is like a self centered teenage girl.
Now onto the good stuff; all the traveling I have been privy to in the last 3 weeks. The last three weekends have included, and in this order, Hamburg, Kiel and Berlin.
Bringing my friends overseas, sort of. |
It was my second time in Hamburg and as compared to my first time included a few more touristic things. Although the company wasn't quite as good the second time around (What up Andy!) I learned a little more about the city the second time around. The day included a visit to the Beatlemania exhibit that was an homage to the Beatles and especially how their musical career began in Hamburg at the Kaiserkellar. The Beatles are a lot cooler than I had always thought, I always thought they were a bunch poppy music makers with little to no edge, but boy was I wrong. These guys made a lot of cutting edge drug induced music that creatively began trends and influenced so many of the artists that we listen to today. Rick and I then went on a harbour tour and were witness to how vast Hamburgs canals and shipping district really is. Next on our list was a well reviewed erotic art museum, but unfortunately the museum wasn't open and we needed to move onto the activity, which was the St. Michael's Cathedral.
St. Michael's |
Usually I am not one to be blown away or impressed by churches, but the architecture of St. Michael's was visually stunning. STUNNING. Although I am not a proponent to the establishment of religion I have decided to dispel my bias throughout my travels through Europe so that I can witness history and architecture associated with churches. The church had a spire that was approx. 100 meters tall and the view from the top was breath taking. St. Michael's Cathedral concluded a fun filled day in Hamburg, a city that will be seeing a lot of my face.
Not really sure why I included Kiel on the list of hotspot travel destinations I visited. The trip to Kiel was a brief jaunt to have a friendly scrimmage against a The Kiel Baltic Hurricanes, the division I team I referenced in the 2nd paragraph. I only really saw a football field and a McDonalds.
The Amphitheater |
The icing on the cake that has been the last III weeks was my trip to Berlin over the weekend. In short, although I will venture next into the somewhat longer, Berlin is the greatest individual city I have ever visited in my short lifetime. The feel of the city is like nothing I have ever experienced. There is so much culture and history that it almost feels as though the city is a living and breathing organism. My travel buddies were Rick and his College roommate Martin. We took the bus from Lubeck early Friday morning and arrived in Berlin late Friday morning. The first day included a great deal of sightseeing, walking and of course drinking. We visited the Reichstag, Rottenborg Tor, the Brandenburger Gate, The Willy Brandt museum and Checkpoint Charlie. If I was to get into detail about all of these locations and attractions I would be here for hours, so as a youth from the internet era, I suggest, if interested, you Google all the locations I reference in this email. It was also my first ever time staying in a Hostel. A hostel is certainly something that takes some getting used to, people coming and going at all different times of the day and night, complete strangers sleeping right next to you and having to climb onto the top bunk! It's a great atmosphere though as hostels house travelers from all over the world and a gang of people who are all in search of exploration, it also helps that they offer very affordable accommodations. Friday night was a late night and Saturday morning was an early morning, a difficult combination to conquer, but mind over matter is what really matters. On Saturday we met up with a couple of Berliner's that Rick backhandedly knew through one of his friends girlfriends. Caroline and Martin (referenced all day as other Martin, and referenced as such throughout this email) made the trip. They were both sweethearts who were really able to help us connect with the city in a way that we wouldn't have been able to had we taken a standard tour. Other Martin is in school to be a tour guide and wanted to practice his craft, something that we were very grateful for. On Saturday we saw the East Berlin Gallery, the Turkish quarters, The Sony Centre, The Holocaust monument, and the Volkswagen museum. We were then spoiled with some very tradition German food and beer, which got our night started. We convinced Caroline and other Martin to stick around and party with us. One of Caroline's friends is a bartender and was able to get us on the guest-list of the club she worked at, the best part being that the club was holding a private 18th birthday party for a young lady named Nelly. It was pretty funny crashing an 18-year-old girls birthday party, but after every free round we gave Nelly her due and toasted the birthday girl. Sunday morning was another groggy morning that was highlighted by us sleeping through checkout time and being kicked out of our room around noon. All three of us were Zombies but were once again able to gather a little bit of motivation for one last adventure. Other Martin suggested we hit up this thing called Bearpit Karaoke. We stumbled into this park around 1PM that was loaded with so many people from all walks of life. The atmosphere was electric and the good weather, coupled with a couple of beers helped to shake off the cobwebs. The karaoke was so fun. There must have been over a thousand spectators and so many people interested in participating. When I initially heard about the event I figured there would be long points of inactivity where no one would be singing because they didn't have the testicular fortitude to sing in front of so many people. Boy was I wrong in my assumption and after the first 30 minutes there was a lengthy list of performers and an even longer list of people who wished to sing. Bearpit Karaoke was the final exclamation point on a weekend that I wish never had to come to an end.
I have babbled quite a bit but I hope this email has been somewhat informative as well as entertaining. I would love to attach some pictures of my journeys but if I attempt to do so my internet modem may burst into flames. It doesn't exactly provide much of a connection, but it does allow for the basics of communications, which now a days primarily includes emails. Once I upgrade from a I to I-a internet connection I'll be sure to send you all an assortment of the best moments caught on Camera. In the meantime thanks once again for the audience, I miss you all dearly and wish nothing but the happiness I am currently experiencing for all of you. That line was pretty corny and makes me feel a little like Tony Robins. In reality I could go back right now and erase it but I'm gonna keep it in there cause I really do mean it.
Jesse Ross Mack
Labels:
being a man,
Germany,
learning is cool,
travel
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