Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Wrestling Six Packs: Folks Who Should Be Managers

Grating as an announcer, but great as a manager?
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Delayed from last night because I was trying to concentrate on Smackdown. Anyway, WWE seems to be trying to bring back some old tropes. Tag teams are one thing, and managers are looking to be another one. Vickie Guerrero is courting Jack Swagger, and although it will come at the expense of her business relationship with Dolph Ziggler. Dreams of having a stable of wrestlers dashed, but at least WWE is acknowledging that the managerial itch is one that needs scratching. Here are six people who are ideal for being managers in WWE.

1. Michael Cole

This is the easiest thing to do in the whole company right now. Cole has the annoying bombast down, but it's not getting anyone over from the broadcast booth. The only thing he's doing is making people tune out. A change in role would do a world of change for Cole. As an announcer calling Daniel Bryan a NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDD, he's only reinforcing the narrative that Bryan is a nerd and really isn't worth anything. By calling him that as a manager for, say, Tyson Kidd? He's giving Bryan extra incentive to kick Kidd's ass and possibly get his hands on Cole as well. Simple things.

2. Matt Striker

He's another guy who was a misfit. As an announcer, all he did was bluster and pump out his pomposity. He never developed chemistry with any of his broadcast partners, and whether that manifested itself in snarky replies or dead air, it was bad. However, as a manager, it's that kind of bluster that can generate heat for his charges. Plus, as a former wrestler, he can take a bump and deliver a resolution in that regard.

3. Bob Backlund

I know what you're thinking. Backlund really wasn't known for his mic work as much as he was known for his acumen in the ring and his crazy, emotive action outside of it after he turned on Bret Hart in 1994. However, I think there's value in having him as a good guy manager in the vein of Jose Lothario for Shawn Michaels. Lothario didn't say anything, and really didn't need to. He was there to add gravitas to Michaels as a legitimate wrestler. Backlund, with his success in two different eras as a wrestler, could provide that kind of equity for someone who's clawing up the card and needs to "improve" in the ring.

4. Sunny

Cougar war! Sunny used to be a manager, and she has kept her looks over the years. Bringing her back as a counterweight to Vickie Guerrero would provide a great idea for an intermediary feud. Imagine the two in an arms race. Team Vickie vs. Team Sunny at Survivor Series. Competitions over which stable can accrue more gold. It virtually writes itself.

5. JBL

A Million Dollar Man for a new generation. They teased him being a financial manager with his Shawn Michaels-owes-him-money angle, but they ended it with the end of the angle. Again, he's a guy who can bump, and he has a LETHAL weapon in the Clothesline from Hell.

6. Mike Sanders

This one seems out of left field. Sanders? Where has he been? Didn't he leave WWE under dubious circumstances before? Well, none of that matters because when I see Sanders, I see a guy who could fit the Shane McMahon managerial archetype without bringing back Shane-O-Mac in an active role, the spry, bouncy manager who was always moving, always looking to cheat for his charges. Plus, he has the mic skills, which is a huge plus for a manager.

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