More on the Mark Henry Rib

Somebody done got they ass ribbed
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Okay, so by now, you know I have a source close to a wrestler whose former ring name rhymes with Clamerican Bragon who's kinda plugged into things backstage in WWE. For reasons that I don't want to get him or BD in trouble, I can't name names. Obviously. I'm putting this disclaimer here because I don't want to be just like all the other "dirtsheets" who quote nebulous sources within the company when they report on these kinds of things. This is as much of a primary source as you're going to get.

Okay, so apparently, there are some details surrounding the Mark Henry rib. First and foremost, the rib came straight from the top of the company, Vince McMahon himself. Henry was told he'd be facing Sin Cara in the dark match main event. Henry went to go over spots with Cara, only to be foiled because the former Mistico doesn't speak English. At this point, Henry still didn't know it was a rib, and he went out to the ring while his music played on loop for 10 minutes. All the other wrestlers and agents were in on it, so they were crowded around the monitors to see what was going on.

Anyway, Henry waited out there for a good 40 minutes before saying "fuck this" and leaving the ring area. He went to the back and just started throwing a temper tantrum in the Gorilla position (for those who don't know, the Gorilla position is the antechamber between the mystical area known as "The Back" and the main arena, named as such because that's where Gorilla Monsoon used to hang out later in his career). He was overheard as saying "FUCK THIS PLACE, I QUIT". In the funniest development, he kept his tantrum going in the locker room, yelling at various guys while he was naked. I guess whether I could have kept a straight face with a naked Henry yelling at me would be directly proportional to how afraid I was of him.

I thought this story was pretty funny, especially Henry's reaction to it. I still think it was unprofessional to do, not because it was a rib on Henry, per se (ribs are pretty common in wrestling, just ask anyone who knew Owen Hart), but again, because it was toying with the crowd. You don't do that kind of false advertising, especially if they're accustomed to getting a dark match main event. However, I do admit that if I were in the locker room, I'd probably have been laughing my ass off at this too. Then again, if I were a pro wrestler or worked for WWE, I'd probably not be writing this blog. OR WOULD I?

Anyway, I also want to issue a formal retraction and apology to Michael PS Hayes. I doubt he reads this, but at the same time, I feel bad for insinuating a racially motivated mean-spirited prank when it was just a rib that came down from Vince himself. Mea culpa.

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